CHAPTER 10

Humor Is Not Always Funny

An employee shows up late for work.
The boss yells, “You should have been here at 8:30!”
The employee replies, “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

A sense of humor is a valuable tool. Humor can disarm, build rapport, break the ice, and create interest in a discussion, speech, or any written communication. Humor can also be divisive, disruptive, offensive, ill timed, and overused. The jokes, pranks, riddles, and witty remarks you use among your friends may not play well in a business setting. What you heard on TV’s evening talk shows and sitcoms may not be the best choice for your business interaction. It is important to understand the difference.

It is critical to abstain from humor that has the hint of damaging your professional reputation. If you think anyone could question your intent of a joke, don’t tell it. It is not worth it to risk your reputation on a silly joke. Anything questionable, abstain.

The following are three major humor traps to avoid if you want to become Indispensable.

HUMOR TRAP 1

There was this priest, rabbi, pastor, Democrat, and Republican in a boat …

All political, religious, racial, sexual, and other types of targets of group-demeaning jokes, stories, or antidotes are the quicksand pools of the business world. You cannot be sure what side of the fence, what biases, or what emotional ties your audience may consider sensitive, serious, and not amusing. You thought you were on firm ground, having fun, and suddenly you are up to your neck in a bad situation. Even if you think you have a certain rapport with your business associates and even if they have already shared such a story with you, save such humor for your after-hours circle of friends.

You may think this is extreme. You are certain you have close friends at work who share your humor. You may have a joke that is simply too funny not to share, and so you do. Your business pals laugh and laugh. They cannot believe how funny you are. Why, they are so impressed that later they share it with others, using your name as the original source of the hilarious punch line. Suddenly there are others who are associating your name with the compromising tale, and one of those people takes offense. Maybe someone with an ax to grind, with you. Maybe someone who believes HR would be interested in such a story. And there you are in HR, alone … no pals, no laughs, no Tarzan.

HUMOR TRAP 2

Nothing is funnier than a good impersonation. There are comedians who become rich and famous because they can somehow mimic the looks and mannerisms of certain individuals. But the goal of the impersonator is to make fun of the subject, not revere them. We laugh because the comedian exaggerates the target’s humanity, errors, and habits. We know the joke is at the victim’s expense, but the ridicule is simply too funny not to enjoy.

In the 1990s, Dana Carvey made the nation laugh with his impersonation of President George H. W. Bush. We tuned in and waited as Mr. Carvey worked through the script to get to his famous phrase “wouldn’t be prudent.” We laughed and joined in with our friends whenever the moment or circumstances would allow “wouldn’t be prudent.” Who knows if the president ever uttered those words? Who knows if the president cared? But Mr. Carvey struck gold with his mocking impersonation.

It may be fun and laughable to us, but does the target enjoy the humorous attack? Does the target have a choice? Would it be fun and laughable if you were the target? Once? Daily?

As humans, we all have quirks, physical challenges, favorite sayings, and distinctive physical attributes. Some of them are hilarious … to others. It becomes very tempting to identify those traits our coworkers have, especially our bosses. If you are willing to offer quick impersonations of others, your work friends may well find you side-splittingly hilarious. They may ask you to perform it over and over. They will be clueless as to why you are not headlining in Vegas. They may attempt to join you in the skit. They may well suggest that you perform to other employees. You are indeed very entertaining, at a noncompensated level.

But what if the targets see or hear? Even if they too smile on the outside, what is the feeling on the inside? The reality is, you are mocking them. You are funny at their expense. Perhaps it is seemingly harmless. Perhaps you feel it is all in good fun. But your entertainment skill set may also be dangerous to your reputation, business standing, and future. Even in the entertainment world, comedians are not often considered serious actors. We are conditioned to laugh at them but not necessarily believe them.

HUMOR TRAP 3

Negative humor. You know it when you hear it. It is that shot, that jab, that seemingly playful retort that may be funny but takes a direct shot at someone. Yes, it is something you may “give and take” with your friends. Such banters are fun and accepted among folks who have a common bond, long-term relationship, or a shared appreciation. When you toss such humor at people you trust, it is usually understood as playful. When it is in a business setting, you may be creating an adversary. Your targets may feel embarrassed or disrespected. Yes, it may have been funny; yes, it may have seemed innocent; and yes, you may have counterpunched a shot that was aimed at you. But negative humor in a business setting is dangerous.

“The Comeback” was an episode in the highly successful Seinfeld TV show. One of the storylines in “The Comeback” episode included George Costanza passionately eating shrimp during a meeting while he was employed by the New York Yankees. One of his coworkers, Reilly, takes the opportunity to lob a shot at George in front of their mutual coworkers during a meeting. Reilly says, “Hey, George, the ocean called. They are running out of shrimp.”

All the other coworkers laughed and laughed with great amusement. George took offense at being embarrassed in front of his coworkers, even though he truly was eating the shrimp in an obsessive manner. He began plotting a counterpunch, a comeback. He planned to set up a similar scenario and then pound Reilly with the following line: “Well, the jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!”

Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer all attempted to persuade George that his cherished line was not funny. They offered alternative lines. Jerry suggested, “The zoo called, and you’re due back at six.” But George was confident in his retort. As George’s plans reached deployment, Reilly was released by the Yankees and took a job in Ohio working for Firestone. Disappointed that he would never have the opportunity to even the score, George set up a bogus meeting with Firestone, and he traveled from New York all the way to Ohio just to be in front of Reilly. George managed to set up the situation as desired and confidently deployed his jerk store line. Sadly, no one thought the zinger was funny, and George was embarrassed yet a second time.

Seinfeld was a sitcom, but the message is valid. If you choose to embarrass people in front of their peers, no matter how funny, you may well compromise trusted relationships and develop a rivalry. Revenge is a powerful emotion. Retaliation knows no calendar and is often “ramped up” in its release. Better for you to refrain from the original zinger, no matter how enticing the circumstances. Negative humor is risky … funny, but risky.

So if you can’t use politically incorrect or sensitive material, impersonations, or negative humor, what humor is left?

There are a zillion good jokes and stories. You have experienced events in your life that are funny. You can have some fun with a department at your work, provided you are part of that department. You can make light of the human experience (provided it is not off color). And you can always make fun of yourself, provided it is not a consistent subject matter.

I went to the psychiatrist, and he says,
“You’re crazy.”
I tell him I want a second opinion.
He says, “Okay, you’re ugly too!”
—RODNEY DANGERFIELD

If you target something about yourself consistently, others will join in, expecting it is OK with you. Let’s say you are hair challenged. Most folks have the decency not to walk up and start laughing at your receding hairline. However, if you start consistently making fun of your own head, others will follow your lead. Maybe this is OK with you, but be aware it likely will not dissipate on its own.

The important thing is take time to LAUGH! Some say laughing cures diseases, reduces stress, and lowers blood pressure. Enjoy who you are, enjoy who you know, and enjoy what you have. Laugh. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laugh. Understand that when someone you know hurts your feelings, it is more often than not, unintentional. Laugh. Sometimes you embarrass yourself. Laugh. Life is short and trouble will come. Laugh. You will be respected, honored, appreciated, revered, and admired because you laughed. You will disarm the aggressive, ease the tense, and find common ground. Laugh.

Take Action

• Stop and laugh. Most people are way too serious, and it really will not matter in a hundred years. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. Laughter is contagious—spread it around your workplace.

• Eliminate all jokes that could compromise your reputation … period.

• Never use humor that ridicules others unless you are in that group, no matter how funny it would be.

• Don’t take yourself too seriously. No one else does.

The Indispensable person has a great sense of humor but guards it wisely.