INDEX
Please note that index links point to page beginnings from the print edition. Locations are approximate in e-readers, and you may need to page down one or more times after clicking a link to get to the indexed material.
Accountability strategy, having an, 224–228
Action mindset, 97–98
Active approach, passive vs., 13
Active listening, 187
Adaptive, being, 22
Adaptive issues, 68
Adaptive realities, 80
Adaptive workplaces, vii
Affirmative bias, 91–93, 124, 232
Aggressiveness, verbal, 174–175
Agreement:
disinviting, 196–197
seeking, 173
Albers, Susan, on training your mind, 57
Analogic information, 150–151
Analysis, systemic, 151
Anecdotal evidence, 151
Anti-confirmation bias, cultivating an, 120–121, 163, 194
Asking questions, 118, 125, 129–130, 205
Assessing the conversation, 210
Assessments, personality/behavioral, 67
Attention:
as muscle, 57
paying, 27 (See also Disciplined awareness)
Attributes of, 90–91
Authentic curiosity, 180–182
Awareness:
of bodily sensations, 41–42
of cognitive reactions, 40–41
disciplined, 27–34
of emotional reactions, 36–40
importance of, 55–56
personal, 35–48
personal vs. situational, 33–34
refocusing of, 74
situational, 49–56
of triggers, 47
of your personality/behaviors, 42
See also Mindfulness awareness practices (MAPs)
Back and forth (of testing and inquiry), 183
“Baloney Detection Kit,” 84, 125, 157
Bandwagon effect, 162
Barrett, Frank, 91, 98–100, 131, 224
on errors, 127
in inquiring, 172
Baumeister, Roy, 131
Beam of attention, 29–33
focusing, on ideas of others, 199
noticing your, 61
A Beautiful Mind (film), 213–214
Begley, Sharon, 32
Behavior(s):
difficulty of implementing, 136
habitual, 42
identifying, 68
of others, 53–54
Behavioral assessments, 67
Behavior-over-time graphs, 191
Berman, Marc, 62
Bias:
anti-confirmation, 120–121, 163, 194
cognitive, 162–163
hindsight, 162
Birkman Method®, 67
“Black Hat” test, 166
Bodily sensations, awareness of, 41–42
Bowie, David, 204
Bradley, Bill, on success, 228
Brain:
“braking system” of, 45
“cold,” 32–33
letting your brain wander, 63
taking care of your, 63
“Braking” habits, 66–67
“Braking system,” brain’s, 45
Bratman, Gregory, 61–62
Breathing breaks, 59
“Bring More Mindfulness onto the Mat” (Isaacs), 62–63
Candid, being, 163
Candor, 22
helping others see your thinking, 147–158
stating your position, 139–145
Canfield, Jack, on persistence, 97
Carlin, George, on finding humor, 96
Carlyle, Thomas, on persistence, 6
Catching your reactions, 43–44, 46–47, 65, 138, 211
Causal-loop maps, 191
Chaffee, John, 192
Challenges, identifying, 221–222
Change, meaningful, 2
“Checking in,” with your feelings, 66
Chekhov, Anton, on knowledge, 133
Civil War, 104–106
Clarifying points, 144–145
Clarity, of position statement, 141
Clear thinking, 87
Cognitive bias, 162–163
Cognitive control, 38
Cognitive empathy, 53
Cognitive reactions, awareness of, 40–41
“Cold brain,” 32–33
Collaborative design, 178–179, 204–208
Commitment, 85–86
Communication, nonverbal, 175–176
Compassion, 96
Compelling, being, 142–143
Concepts, skills vs., 185
Concise, being, 142
Confidence, 86
Conflicts, identifying intentional, 207–208
Conspiracy theories, 149
Constructive framing, 188–189
Constructive orientation, 109–110, 129
Constructive self-talk, 110
Context, 7
Contrast, listening for, 122
Control, cognitive, 38
Conversation, purpose vs. patterns of, 34
Conversational capacity, 193, 203
Conversational Capacity (Weber), viii, 33, 57, 136, 148, 165–166, 176
Conversational Capacity Mindset, viii, 73–88
and commitment, 85–86
and confidence, 86
and mental workshop, 75–85
and personal awareness, 36
refocusing with, 74
and trust, 86–87
See also Leadership mindset; Mindset strategies
Conversational game plan, 208–211
Cooperrider, David, 200
Cote, David M., 87
Courage, 22
Cowman, Lettie, on strong vs. weak minds, 94
Creating Great Choices (Riel and Martin), 120
Critical thinking, 83–85, 100, 118–119
Croesus, King, 160
Curiosity skills, 135–138, 159–160, 212
importance of, 182–184
inquiring into the hypotheses of others, 171–182
as key to smart thinking, 184
testing your hypothesis, 160–169
Current state, identifying your, 219
“Daily Question List” (DQL), 226–228
Dalai Lama, on positive vision, 91
Data, separating interpretation from, 190
Data-free zone (DFZ), 149
David, Susan, 130
Davidson, Richard J., 70
De Bono, Edward, 131, 156, 166, 192
Decision making, 86
Delayed gratification, 3
Delta Air Lines, 117
The Demon-Haunted World (Sagan), 125
Design, collaborative, 178–179, 204–208
Destructive orientation, 110–112
Destructive self-talk, 112
DeWall, Nathan, 123
DFZ (data-free zone), 149
Diamandis, Peter, on mindset, 117
Difference, leaning into, 78–80, 120
Directly observable evidence, 150
DISC® profile, 67
Discipline, building, 8, 122–123
Disciplined awareness, 27–34
and beam of attention, 29–33
as foundational competence, 33–34
Disinviting agreement, 196–197
Double-loop aha moments, 17–18
Double-loop learning, 79
DQL (“Daily Question List”), 226–228
Dreger, Alice, on changing your mind, 73
Drucker, Peter, 232
Duckworth, Angela, 131
Dunning–Kruger effect, 162
Dweck, Carol, 131
on growth mindset, 104
on smartest people, 77–85
Ego, 7
Einstein, Albert, on intelligence, 223
Elements of Story (Flaherty), 154
Elements of Style (Strunk and White), 142
Emotional empathy, 53
Emotional intelligence (EQ), 38–39
Emotional reactions, awareness of, 36–40
Emotional reactivity, 44
Empathetic listening, 178
Empathy, emotional vs. cognitive, 53
Engaged listening, 122
Engaged workplaces, vii
Engagement, 183
Epictetus, on being disturbed, 41
EQ (emotional intelligence), 38–39
Eurich, Tasha, 69
on identifying emotional reactions, 39–40
Experience, transforming, with mindful awareness, 31–32
Facilitation, informal vs. formal, 215–216
Feedback, seeking, 200
Feelings:
gut, 155
Ferris, Tim, 122–123
Feynman, Richard, 84–85, 131, 192
Fight-or-flight responses, 32
Films, watching, 130
Filters, 42
Finland, 94
First Law of Motion, 1
Fit, lack of, 68
Flaherty, Francis, 154
Focus (focusing):
on feelings, 65–66
internal, 30
and leadership, 25
with single-point attention practice, 58
Focus sentences, 140
Formal facilitation, 216
Foundational skills, four, 136–137
Framing, constructive, 188–189
Frankfurt, Harry G., 131
Frustration, leaning into, 198–199
Fry, Ronald, 172
Fun, having, 8
Fundamental attribution error, 162
Gallo, Amy, on decision making, 86
Game plan, conversational, 13–14
Ganbaru, 94
Gandhi, Mahatma, 129
“Gestapo Interrogation,” 14, 148
Getting outside, 61–62
Gladwell, Malcolm, on updating your positions, 71
on ability to think, 44
on importance of awareness, 38
Goleman, Daniel, 69
on emotions, 33
on failure to focus inward, 56
on mindful meditation, 59
on need for focus, 25
Good, focusing on the, 125
Good to Great (Collins), 91
Goodwin, Doris Kearns, 131
Goofing off, 127–128
Gottman Institute, 43
Grandin, Temple, 129
Graphic facilitation, 192
The Green Mile (film), 111
Growth mindset, 104
Guessing, 205
Gunaratana, Bhante Henepola, 70
Gut feelings, 155
Habits, “braking,” 66–67
Habitual behaviors, 42
Hall, Eric J., 60
Hamilton, Laird, 121
Hancock, Herbie, 216
The Happiness Track (Seppalla), 128
Harris, Dan, 69
Harris, Ed, 213–214
The Harrison Assessment®, 67
Harshness, avoiding unnecessary, 143–144
Harvey, Jerry, 131
“Heads-up display” (HUD), 214–216
Healthy workplaces, vii
Heffernan, Margaret, on thinking partners, 80
Heifetz, Ron, 131
Helping others see your thinking, 147–158
and evidence, 149–151, 156–158
facets of thinking, 147–149
and gut feelings, 155
and interpretation, 151–153
and keeping things simple, 154–155
and ladder of inference, 148–149, 152–153
and showing your road map, 156
High leverage, 69
Hindsight bias, 162
Hogan Assessment®, 67
Homer Simpson (cartoon character), 85
Hornby, Nick, 167–168
“Hot brain,” 32–33
HUD (“heads-up display”), 214–216
Humility, 7
Hunches, 155
Hussein, Saddam, 50
Hypothesis(—es):
inquiring into others’ (see Inquiring into the hypotheses of others)
testing your (see Testing your hypothesis)
Incompetence, skilled, 44
“Indianapolis Journal” (“Indianapolis moments”), 116–117, 160–162, 193–194
Influence, having, 156–157
Informal facilitation, 215–216
Information, analogic, 150–151
Inquiring into the hypotheses of others, 171–182
and authentic curiosity, 180–182
benefits of, 173–176
and collaborative design, 178–179
difficulty of, 180
and explaining “why,” 180
and listening, 176–178
as process, 172–173
and seeking agreement, 173
testing vs., 172
Inquiry practices, 197–200
Insight (Eurich), 39
Integrative thinking, 80–81, 118–120
Intellectual inbreeding, 80–82
Intellectual listening, 178
Intelligence:
emotional, 38–39
social, 56
systemic, 69
Intentional conflicts, identifying, 207–208
Intentional progress, 232
Internal commitment, 85
Internal focus, 30
Internal locus of control, 104
Interpreting the situation, 41
Intuition, 155
Involvement in the process, 86
Iraq War, 50–51
Irresponsibility orientation, 107
Isaacs, Nora, 62–63
Jacobs, Alan, 192
James, William, on bringing back a wandering attention, 30
Japan, 94
Jerry Maguire (film), 157
Jobs, Steve, on difficulty of simple, 147
Kane, Thomas, on concision, 142
Keeping things simple, 154–155
Kegan, Robert, on frustration, 198
Kennedy, Robert F., on purpose of life, 231
Kida, Thomas E., 197
King, Martin Luther, Jr., 129
LaBier, Douglas, on changing old values, 89
Ladder of inference, 16, 58, 148–149, 152–153, 190, 197–198
Lahti, Emilia, on sisu, 94
Laughing at yourself, 96
Lead, ways to, 233
Leadership:
defining, 1
difficulty and danger of, 1–2
and focus, 25
need for, 1
and organizations, 232–233
Leadership and learning zone (LLZ), 220–222
Leadership for a Fractured World (Williams), 99
Leadership mindset, 103–113, 129
and constructive orientation, 109–110
and destructive orientation, 110–112
identifying your, 112–113
and responsibility orientation, 104–107
and victim orientation, 107–108
Leaning into difference, 78–80, 120
Leaning into frustration, 198–199
Learning:
double-loop, 79
from failure, 6
inquiry in pursuit of, 173
inspiring, in others, 139
and listening, 122
Learning partners, 227
Leaving the room, 195–196
Letting your brain wander, 63
Lieberman, Matthew, on brain and emotions, 44–46
Lifeson, Alex, on winning and failing, 91
Light-heartedness, 96–97
Lincoln, Abraham, 79–80, 105, 129
Listening, 121–122
active, 187
engaged, 122
when inquiring into others’ hypotheses, 176–178
LLZ (leadership and learning zone), 220–222
Locus of control, internal, 104
A Long Way Down (Hornby), 167–168
Loss, Lee, 131
Ma, Yo-Yo, on passion, 95
Mandela, Nelson, on changing the world, 203
Manes, Stephanie, on experiences, 43
Manning, Richard, 123
MAPs (see Mindfulness awareness practices)
Markman, Art, 192
Marshmallow tests, 3
on integrative thinking, 80–81
Mathematically measurable evidence, 150
May, Rollo, on people convinced they are right, 159
Meadows, Donella, 192
Meaningful change, 2
Meditation, 57–58
Meetings, 68–69
Mental agility, 94–95, 120–121
Mental workshop, 75–85
process of, 77–85
product of, 75–77
A Mind of Its Own (Fine), 195
The Mind & The Brain (Schwartz and Begley), 32
Mindful awareness, 27–32, 57–58
Mindfulness awareness practices (MAPs), 57–70
beam, noticing your, 61
books on, 69–70
breathing breaks, 59
getting outside, 61–62
for increasing personal awareness, 64–67
for increasing situational awareness, 67–69
keeping up with, 64
letting your brain wander, 63
listening, mindful, 59–60
mundane activities, 58
new things, noticing, 61
single-point attention practice, 58
taking care of yourself, 63
yoga, 62–63
Mindless awareness, 31
Mindset, 73
Mindset forward, staying, 74, 115
Mindset strategies, 115–131
affirmative bias, cultivating an, 124
anti-confirmation bias, cultivating an, 120–121
asking questions, 118, 125, 129–130
baloney detection kit, sharpening your, 125
books on, 130–131
constructive orientation, cultivating a, 129
films, watching, 130
good, focusing on the, 125
goofing off, 127–128
humor, looking for, 128
“Indianapolis Journal,” 116–117
integrative thinking, employing, 119–120
listening, 121–122
mental toughness, building your, 123
mistakes, celebrating, 127
others, studying, 129
overall discipline, building your, 122–123
refocusing, 125
risk, rethinking, 128
self-talk, changing your, 126
SysQ, increasing your, 118–119
Mindsight, 36
Minimizing (min reactions), 16, 21, 37
and candor skills, 138
keeping a journal of, 64–65
and naming/taming, 44, 46, 138
triggers of, 42
Mipham, Sakyong, 70
Mirror, looking in the, 7
Mischel, Walter, 3
Mistakes:
celebrating, 127
keeping track of, 117
Molière, 116
Montaigne, Michel de, 29
Morin, Amy, 130
Morton-Thiokol, 84–85
Moving forward, 203–216
alternatives to, 204
collaborative design for, 204–208
and conversational game plan, 208–211
and “heads-up display,” 214–216
and staying in the sweet spot, 211–214
See also Personal plan
Mullane, Mike, 37
Mundane activities, 58
Najaf, Iraq, 50–51
Naming and taming, 44–47, 65, 138, 211–212
Negativity, 124
Nesbett, Richard, 131
New things, noticing, 61
Newton, Isaac, 1
Nhat Hanh, Thich, 70
Nichols, Michael P., 131
Nohria, Nitin, on communication, 11
Nonverbal communication, 175–176
Nurturing, 109
Observable evidence, 150
“On the Reception and Detection of Pseudo-Profound Bullshit” (article), 83
On Writing Well (Zinsser), 141
Ongoing practice, 64
Open-mindedness, 100
Operationalized emotional intelligence, 38–39
Opinion-based reasoning, 157–158
Opportunities, identifying, 221–222
The Opposable Mind (Martin), 78, 80, 120
Organizations, 232–233
Othello (Shakespeare), 111
Others:
being attuned to behaviors of, 53–54
focusing on, 50
helping, to speak up, 182
inspiring learning in, 139
partnering with, 5–6, 99–100, 227
questions to ask about view of, 190–191
studying, 129
Out-of-control emotions, 33
Overall discipline, building your, 122–123
Overdoing it, avoiding, 154–155
Pacing yourself, 6
Partnering with others, 5–6, 99–100, 227
Passion, 95–96
Passive approach, active vs., 13
The Path of Least Resistance (Fritz), 7, 218
Patterns:
paying attention to, 67–68
Paying attention, 27
See also Disciplined awareness
Peripheral vision, 30
of bodily sensations, 41–42
and catching your reactions, 43–44, 46–47
of cognitive reactions, 40–41
defined, 36
of emotional reactions, 36–40
MAPs for increasing, 64–67
and naming/taming your reactions, 44–47
and situational awareness, 51–52
situational vs., 33–34
of triggers, 47
value of, 47–48
of your personality/behaviors, 42
Personal plan, 217–229
defined, 217
developing your, 186
identifying practices for your, 223–224
leadership and learning zone for creating a, 220–222
progress and accountability strategy for your, 224–228
structural tension for creating a, 218–220
Personality assessments, 67
Personality traits, 42
Perspectives:
holding your, 161–162
integrating, 80–82
Pillay, Srini, on exercise, 63
Pinker, Steven, on language, 135
Planning the conversation, 209
Pooling perspectives, 77–78, 118
Popper, Karl, 138
Position, stating your (see Stating your position)
Position practices, 186–189
Power:
and candor skills, 138
recognizing your, 232–233
The Power Paradox (Keltner), 138
Predictive Index® (PI) Behavioral Assessment, 67
Priming the conversation, 210–211
Proactive trigger scanning, 47
Problem(s):
seeing, 36
taking, to the team, 18–19
Procedural fairness, 86
Process, respect for and involvement in the, 86
Progress:
intentional, 232
making, 224–228
Purpose, and patterns, 34, 50, 54–55, 67–68
Putnam, George, vii
Qigong, 63
Questions:
asking, 118, 125, 129–130, 205
Ratey, John J., 123
Rational mind, 43
Reactions:
cognitive, 40–41
emotional, 36–40
naming/taming, 44–47
to someone’s point of view, 173–174
Real Leadership (Williams), 131
Realistic, being, 91–93
Reflecting back, 65
Relaxing, 127–128
Rephrasing, 188
Respect for the process, 86
Responsibility orientation, 104–107
Responsible self-talk, 106–107
Review, scheduling your, 227
Risk, rethinking, 128
The Road Less Traveled (Peck), 176–178
Road map, showing your, 156
Rogers Commission, 84–85
Rohn, Jim, 185
Role-playing, 209
Routine issues, 68
Russell, Bertrand:
on being certain, 163
on looking at the facts, 83
on wasting time, 127
Sacred cows, 2
Sagan, Carl, 84, 125, 131, 157, 192, 197
Schulz, Kathryn, 117, 130, 162–163, 197
Schwartz, Jeffrey, 32
The Science of Positivity (Breuning), 124
Scoring, of meetings, 68–69
Seeking agreement, 173
Self-awareness, 32, 42, 43, 55, 64
See also Personal awareness
Self-discipline, 3
Self-talk:
changing your, 126
constructive, 110
destructive, 112
responsible, 106–107
victim, 108
Senses, 40–41
Sensorial evidence, 150
Seppalla, Emma, on overwork, 128
Serious-mindedness, 96–97
Sharpening your skills, 185–200
inquiry practices for, 197–200
position practices for, 186–189
testing practices for, 192–197
thinking practices for, 189–192
and your personal plan, 186
Shaw, George Bernard, 82
Shorter, Wayne, on the self, 43
on mindsight, 36
on sixth sense, 40–41
Sighing, 175–176
Simple, keeping things, 154–155
Single-point attention practice, 58
Sistani, Grand Ayatollah, 50
Sisu, 94
Situation, interpreting the, 41
Situational awareness, 34, 49–56
and cognitive empathy, 53–54
and contextual consciousness, 50
defined, 49
and focus on patterns/purpose, 54–55
importance of, 55–56
MAPs for increasing, 67–69
and personal awareness, 51–52
Six Thinking Hats (De Bono), 166
Sixth sense, 41
Skilled incompetence, 44
Skills:
concepts vs., 185
four foundational, 136–137
See also Candor skills; Curiosity skills; Sharpening your skills
Slavery, 104–106
Smalley, Susan L., 69
Smalls, Robert, 104–106
Smirking, 175–176
Social intelligence, 56
Soderquist, Chris, 69, 118, 119
Solutions, searching for, 19–20
Sounds, listening to, 60
South Carolina, 105
Space Shuttle Challenger disaster, 84–85
Space to choose, 37–38
Stanford University, 62
State legislatures, 81
Stating your position, 139–145
and avoiding unnecessary harshness, 143–144
and being compelling, 142–143
clarifying points when, 144–145
clarity when, 141
concision when, 142
cost of failure when, 140–141
topic sentences for, 139–140
Statistically measurable evidence, 150
Stock-and-flow diagrams, 191
Stockdale, James, 91–92
“Stockdale Paradox,” 91–92
Stress:
breathing breaks for reducing, 59
and mental toughness, 93
“The stronger, the better” rule, 167–169
Structural tension, 7, 218–220
Strunk, William, 142
Sweet spot, 89–101
and action-orientation, 97–98
and affirmative bias, 91–93
attributes of, 90–91
and mental toughness, 93–95
and open-mindedness, 100
and passion/compassion, 95–96
and persistence, 97
and serious-mindedness, 96–97
staying in the, 211–214
and working alone vs. partnering, 99–100
Systemic analysis, 151
Systemic intelligence (SysQ), 69, 118–119, 191
Tai chi, 63
Taking care of yourself, 63
Taking the lead, 232
Taming your reactions, 44–47
Team, taking the problem to the, 18–19
Testing practices, 192–197
Testing your hypothesis, 160–169
and being candid, 163
benefits of, 164
and cognitive bias, 162–163
examples of, 165–167
and holding your perspectives, 161–162
inquiring vs., 172
and “the stronger, the better” rule, 167–169
Thinking:
clear, 87
facets of, 147–149
helping others see your (see Helping others see your thinking)
systems, 69
Thinking practices, 189–192
Thorndike, Edward, on social intelligence, 56
Tierney, John, 131
Topic sentences, 139–140
Tracy, Brian, on people with internal locus of control, 104
Traits, personality, 42
Transformation, of experience, with mindful awareness, 31–32
Trigger journal, keeping a, 64–65
Triggers:
awareness of, 42
scanning for, 47
Triggers (Goldsmith), 226
Trust, 86–87
University of Chicago, 62
U.S. Air Force, 207–208
U.S. Coast Guard Training Manual, 49
Validated evidence, 150
Values, 73
Van Hecke, Madeleine, on discovering our blind spots, 120
Verbal aggressiveness, 174–175
Victim orientation, 107–108
Victim self-talk, 108
Vision, 7
creating your, 219–220
peripheral, 30
Wall Street Journal, 60
Weissbourd, Richard, 39
Welesa, Lech, 129
White, E. B., 142
Whitney, Diana, 200
Why Buddhism Is True (Wright), 66
“Why,” explaining, 180
Williams, Dean, 131
on avoiding excessive certainty, 121
on ideal partners, 99–100
on real leadership, 1
Willink, Jocko, on discipline, 122–123
Winning (win reactions), 2, 16, 21, 37
and feelings, 66
keeping a journal of, 64
triggers of, 42
Winston, Diana, 69
Working alone, 99
Workplaces, engaged/healthy/adaptive, vii
Wrong, being, 193
“Yellow Hat” test, 166
Yes to the Mess (Barrett), 95, 131
Yoga, 62–63
Yousafzai, Malala, 129
“Zoom In, Zoom Out” technique, 39–40