BASIC COMMITMENTS

Mentoring is a reciprocal learning relationship in which the mentoring partners agree to work collaboratively toward achieving mutually defined goals that will develop the mentee's skills, abilities, knowledge, and thinking. It puts a premium on mutual trust and accountability. Whether one is new to mentoring or participating in it at a senior level, some basic commitments are needed to prepare for it. First, a sincere commitment to learning is essential; learning is the purpose, process, and product of mentoring. Second, a commitment to making time for mentoring is necessary to build and grow a mentoring relationship and learn what one needs to learn. Third, having a readiness to learn is important. Readiness takes many forms, usually dispositional, situational, or organizational. Let's look at the example of an executive whose situation demanded that he consider finding a mentor.

Nick, the chief operating officer of his company, was the go-to person for everyone in the office. To some he was a father-confessor, to others a trusted friend and confidant, and to all an admired leader. He had an innate talent for listening and making people feel included and valued. Those whom he mentored, whether formally or informally, valued his wise counsel and support.

Behind the scenes, however, Nick struggled with his own leadership challenges. The CEO of the company, Charlie, was a micromanager who habitually created disruption and tension among the staff. Each day Charlie would storm into people's offices and demand paperwork or assign chores that weren't part of their job areas. Everyone on the staff was uncomfortable and unsure about how to interact with the CEO. They would frequently come to Nick's office after one of Charlie's unscheduled “invasions.” Nick spent much of his day running interference; as a result he was neither as productive as possible nor moving the organization forward.

Although Nick felt that he was direct and clear with Charlie, very little changed. Most of the time Charlie managed to push Nick's buttons and Nick ended up losing his cool. Nick tried to figure out why he was so effective at easing the tensions within his team but was failing in his own situation. Nick decided he could use the help of a mentor.