Chapter 5
RULES OF THE GAME: FIRST IMPRESSIONS
In real estate, for now, you may be playing on a smaller field than a medieval empire or the modern world, but make no mistake, you are transforming someone’s life by helping them to move on from a house or find a new home to love.
Our homes are our castles, our sanctuaries, our worth, and our families. Our homes are often the greatest part of our wealth and have a huge impact on our day-to-day lives. Land, houses, vision, and investments are integral to the American dream. We all know it. We’re all chasing our own dreams. Real estate is important work. Be part of it and it can fulfill your dreams.
No matter the money, the close is always the same. A $150,000 close is the same as a $50 million close. It just might have fewer moving parts to negotiate. Make no mistake. For some a $150,000 may be as critical, perhaps the sum total of one’s wealth, as the $50 million deal may be to someone else. It’s all relative. Be aggressive. Be hungry, whatever the task. You want the biggest bite for your client. Then you get your meal.
My nickname, the Shark, isn’t based on a random shout-out during happy hour. I’ve carefully built my reputation as a closer since day #1. How? I make money. I break records. The numbers talk for me. The Altman Brother did $423 million last year. Boom! No argument. No need to brag. You want to make money? Then you want me. My stats set the tone for this book.
I represent athletes, entertainers, industry executives, start-up millionaires, and billionaires. They expect the best. A glance at my stats tells potential clients I handle high-priced, high-end, luxury real estate. The record-shattering prices tell them I close, and I close big. I waste no time, especially theirs. I deliver. I’m a beast.
Now, every real estate agent has at one time told a client he or she will deliver. It’s part of the game. But in all my years of selling real estate, I’ve seen just three reasons why a deal fails to close:
- Ego (buyer, seller, or agent)
- Stupidity (agents getting in the way of/mismanaging the deal)
- Something wrong with the house
The first two do not instill confidence. Let me explain. Stupidity . . . well, if I have to explain it to you, go back to page 1. As for ego, ego destroys what confidence builds. Ego is divisive. Confidence unifies. When ego kicks in, one of two things can happen. Everyone has a pissing match, or people shut down. Neither is good for business. In short, ego is for clowns. Don’t be a clown. Be a closer. And as your wins pile up, be proud of your success. Let your stats speak for themselves.
But before your stats can pile up, before you can even set foot on the field, you need to know the basic rules of the game. This begins with you.
Impressions Matter
First impressions matter, whether you like it or not. You think that’s shallow? Fine, you won’t make money. But it’s true, we size each other up all day all the time. A first impression happens in less than a second and is the most powerful influencer on how people respond to you.
In real estate, the open starts with the impression you make, the first imprint on a person’s memory. Come in strong with confidence and style, and it will set the tone for the whole deal. The client will like what you give and they’ll want to get more of it. Appearance rules – especially in Los Angeles. We’re a visual town, and whether people want to admit it or not, the world agrees.
In a recent study, researchers observed 1,000 people during three-minute speed-dating sessions. The findings, presented at the Society for Personal and Social Psychology, revealed that people form their opinions in a fraction of a second, and no matter what evidence is presented to undermine that opinion, appearance trumps fact.
That means what you look like, the “uniform” you wear, matters. If you’re dressed like a basketball player, you’re taken seriously as a basketball player. If you’re dressed like a golfer, you’re most likely viewed as a golfer (or a preppy, country-club suburbanite). That’s it. Get over it. Get a suit. Get a haircut. Shave if needed. Accessorize to fit what it is you’re selling, and to whom you’re selling it.
I make money for the mega-rich, so I want to act like the mega-rich. I look mega-rich – my suits, my car, my watch – therefore I am. Money talks, money shows, and we’re doing this to make money. If this doesn’t make sense to you, find a new line of work.
In this specific speed-dating study, researchers compared reactions to potential partners in videos as well as in person. They found that “passivity creates negativity,” a downside of passive social tools. Great impressions are made in person. We’re back to the old school: shake hands, make eye contact, and smile! Stay quiet and you’ll be viewed as stupid, insecure, or elitist. That’s it.
All that said, please, please, please, remember: although first impressions matter, especially as a real estate agent, this should never justify your dismissal of clients based on their appearance or current position in life. This is the flip side of the old adage “don’t judge a book by its cover.” You may think I’m contradicting myself in these past few paragraphs, but hear me out.
Everyone I meet, everyone you meet, is a potential client. I don’t care if the person is sleeping on the Venice Boardwalk, is bad at bussing your table, or popping pimples in line at Starbucks. Treat everyone the same, everyone with respect and dignity, and do it because they are human beings. Not because you’re trying to get dollars out of them.
If this is a problem for you, find another job, lose money, or stop being an asshole. Work on it. You never know when the little guy washing your car in torn ’90s raver pants will become big and you’ll be trying to sell him a house in the exclusive Bird Streets neighborhood of the Hollywood Hills after he stars in his first Marvel movie.
Respect is more than good business, it’s good living, and it’s being a quality person. Good people, good agents, and good clients don’t have time for people who disrespect others based on shallow judgment. Nor should you. Stop enabling jerkoffs. Your job is to make money and to dress the part. It’s not theirs.
I study psychology and human behavior to understand what drives my clients. I suggest you do the same. I find behavioral science more helpful than all the business books ever written, besides this one of course. (Just laugh. It’s the way I’m wired.) I keep my head clear to observe what the client, what people, are doing and saying. Pay attention. It’s in the details. That’s where all the answers lie when you need to do your best job. How people think, how they move, it’s all huge.
After a lifetime of studying cognitive bias and prospect theory – the latter has to do with how people make decisions based on the potential value of losses and gains – the Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman identified two systems of thinking in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow.
“System 1” is the fast and intuitive approach. It’s about automatic reaction and emotion. “System 2” is a slower approach based on rational thought, on deconstructing and analyzing one aspect of an issue against another; it’s comparative.
Some people decide to buy a house in System 1; most get to System 2 before making a final decision. But as Kahneman importantly points out, research has demonstrated that poor decisions we make can also be traced to errors in cognition (System 2) rather than to corruption from our emotional thinking (System 1). In other words, System 1 can sometimes be logical and useful, while System 2 can produce irrational results.
But make no mistake; your clients’ impression of you is all System 1, reactive and almost instantaneous. So is their reaction to a house. Liking the house is all System 1, and System 2 justifies the decision to buy. Your job is to help them formulate the conscious and deliberate approach of System 2 – and that includes helping them to sort out the useful parts of their System 1 reaction and the poor results of System 2.
That’s the job. So present yourself in a way conducive to trust building and respect. If you want the checks I’m cashing, anything else is unacceptable.
10 Rules to Make a Positive First Impression
1. No Narcissism, Ever
Runaway ego kills interaction. If a person says, “I just bought a ranch in Montana,” and you reply with “I have an island in the Caribbean,” you’re NOT having a conversation, you’re talking shit. Start a pissing match and you’ll kill potential business. You’ll lose money. Let clients tell you who they are and and what they want. When you open your mouth, gear your words toward what the client says and not whatever is running through your head. Be present.
2. Listen
This is right up there with #1. Shut up and listen. Los Angeles is full of wannabes and fakes who ask people questions just so they can cut them off and talk about themselves. Don’t do that. Ever. During the open, you’re already looking for negotiation tactics. Listen like your life depends on it because your business does. People can tell when they’re being ignored. It creates a bad impression.
What is the client saying about how they want to price their house? Does it make sense, or are they delusional? Don’t roll your eyes. Just listen. What house do they want you to find? How are you going to do that? You can’t get information to close the deal if you don’t listen. We’ll touch on this again later. It’s that important.
3. Kill the Jargon
“I’ll execute a Right Angle Close,” thought no one ever. It’s ridiculous. Terms are fine for classrooms, but if you want to make money, then no SAT words. Talk normal. That’s it. Simplicity. Transparency. Clarity. Done.
Fancy words used unnecessarily make you sound like a fool. You lose money. Industry jargon turns people off, and at best it makes them feel insecure about what they do and do not know. Jargon confuses and excludes. You’re trying to make the whole deal easier for your client, your coach, not confuse or belittle them. Be real. Be confident. Be consistent. Be relatable. Be human. Or lose money.
4. Catch Their Draft
Psychological studies have proven beyond a doubt that human beings like other human beings who are similar to them. Like a racecar driver, just pull in line and do what they do – ride their draft. If you’re talking to someone who speaks softly, calm your voice and back the hell up. Don’t overwhelm. Don’t be a poser. Always be yourself at your core. Faking a certain style to be cool is awful – like talking to a rapper and layin’ on the slang – and when overdone it’s really obvious.
But it is okay to pull right in someone else’s lane as long as you’re still you. It’s a balance. Riding the draft is the beginning of “mirroring,” a tried and true sales psychology you move into as the deal goes deeper. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
With a new client, stand back, watch, and learn from them. Conversation is a dance. Don’t jump in the mosh-pit if they’re into ballroom. Ask questions and draw your clients out. Inspire them by asking about their goals, their dream house, what they like and don’t. Once you know these things, you can sell them the property that meets their vision.
5. Dress the Part
Let’s discuss this again. My clients move at a level that most of us could never imagine. They often belong to the 1% of the world’s 1%. It doesn’t matter if a billionaire meets me in board shorts and worn Vans, I come in a $3,000 perfectly pressed suit. I look good because I am good at what I do – closing deals and making money. I dress in a style that screams “success” because that’s what I want to convey to potential clients.
At all times, I have clean shirts and ties in the trunk of every car. You’d think I’m ready to skip town. That’s not it. I’m ready to open to close and in LA closing means looking sharp, not shaking hands with pizza sauce on my chest. I want the client to feel confident about my level of expertise, my success, and my effectiveness. I also live in the neighborhood where I do the most business. My watch is blinged out. My car, pimpin’ – I fit in.
6. Act the Part
This coincides with #5. Some call this “fake it ’til you make it.” But it’s not the same as faking it or being a poser. In my last book, I discussed wanting to get in better physical shape. So you put on workout clothes, eat healthier, put your ass in the gym, and surround yourself with other people who enjoy exercise. It’s about retraining the mind. That’s it. You become what you want to be by being it, even if you’re not top level yet. You’ll get there, if being there is what you really want.
7. Compliment a Bit
As part of my open, I often compliment potential clients or listings, just a little, not too much. Don’t freak them out. Look for the elements of the property you like and tell the owner. “I love the stone work.” “That facade has incredible detail.” “Wow, is that wooden mantle hand-carved?” We all love to have our houses appreciated. When you’re meeting with potential buyers, listen to their needs and reinforce their opinions. Say, “You’re smart to search in that neighborhood” or “with an important job like yours, you need to be close to the office.” Such compliments are not creepy; they are pointed toward your shared objective – to make money! To close!
8. Make Eye Contact
This is basic standard advice for human interaction. It’s Body Language 101: Look ’em in the eyes. If your eyes dart about as you talk, others will think you have something to hide or are checking the room for someone better to talk to. A second of eye contact is all you need. Meet the client’s eyes before fixing your gaze on whatever it is they are talking about. Every few moments, again look them in the eyes. That’s it.
If this makes you uncomfortable, or if you’re fidgety, or if this is hard for you, get over it. Figure it out. Practice. Try finding a detail in the room and then move your eyes from speaker to object and back again in a slow, deliberate fashion. Whatever. Just give the client the respect of your attention. Look ’em in the eyes.
9. Rock Through It
No negative attitudes. If you’re angry, don’t show it. Smile. Feeling sick, fight through it. Smile. Frustrated with the client, remember your job is to close. Smile.
There was this incredible wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers named Heinz Ward. No matter what happened in the play – dropped pass, a rough tackle, pass overthrown – the man smiled. Everyone liked him. All these other athletes are moping up and down the field, kicking over Gatorade coolers, and there’s Heinz Ward looking like the Cheshire Cat.
Keep your attitude positive. No one likes a grouch. Energy attracts energy. Make it the good kind or you won’t close. Shit, you won’t open for that matter. You’ll lose money.
10. Know Your Role
Do your job and be there to help, not to judge. Don’t speak out of turn. Don’t shame. Don’t run your mouth. You are there to provide a service. You are the star, but remember, your client is the coach. People can be weird. Let them be. Love it. Enjoy it. Open and close.
During your first meeting with potential business clients, look for deeper points of connection. You’re not selling, you’re hanging out, getting to know someone, and humbly conveying your expertise. If I’m being shown a listing by a potential seller, I’m looking at the house, sure, but I’m also starting a relationship. The goal is to become their agent and work with them whenever they have real estate concerns for as many years as possible.
No one likes to be sold or hustled. They like being respected, understood, and worked with. Identify with your clients. Learn about them and let them learn about you. Get a beer together. Talk sports, kids, cars, pets. The business will come naturally; it’s the reason you’re both there to begin with. Turn a customer into a friend. Friends do business with friends who know their business well.
If you always act like a salesman, you will lose money. Grow your reputation through performance, customer relations, and follow-through. Have knowledge and passion for the community you work within. Be transparent, not shady. Friendly communication, respect, and hard work sells. Show up and show up on time, prepared. Look sharp. Know your players. Know your field. Know the shot clock. Let your stats speak for themselves. Do your job. Open and close. Build this reputation and more clients will come.