I’m the Shark, all class in an expensive suit. I project confidence. I’m aggressive, but I’m also a chameleon who pays attention to all players of the game. People’s business styles fascinate me. It’s like watching a wildlife show on the Discovery Channel. Some agents are all boast and bravura, thumping their chests as if they are gorillas, while others attempt to draw you in, all affection and excitement, like puppies.

Don’t confuse their styles with their abilities to close. The deal is the deal no matter how it’s delivered. But understanding the difference between style and substance is key to the Altman Close.

Sometimes, as I’m getting to know my counterpart, I use the mirroring technique. I might be running around and an agent yells, “Josh, I’m sending you an offer on Wilshire today, man!” I yell back over my shoulder, “Thanks, man! Can’t wait!” I’ve matched the off-hand tone and we both keep moving. I might encounter another agent, a “dot the i and cross the t” type who says, “I’m submitting an offer by 4 p.m. I’d like to hear from you immediately.” With that style, I might push back a little, reaffirming leverage. “I’m looking forward to it. Lots of action on that house” and walk off. I like to leave that type hanging.

If you study business styles, there turns out to be a label for just about everyone. Labels are bad in negotiations because if someone knows your “type,” they’ll turn it against you. So it’s easy, don’t have a “type.” Move to the moment by turns conceding what you do not care about—to get what you do.

If you recognize yourself in any of these style descriptions, mix it up. Let go of as many rigid characteristics as you can identify. “Style” blinds businesspeople and their deals suffer because competitors like me are watching and strategizing how to play off their weaknesses. You may sit across the negotiating table from any one of these types or someone who works for them. If you know what the boss is like, often you can predict the style of the employee. Here are the most obvious types:

• The Royals (I Win – You Lose)

  This is a person who must have dominion over all the lands, including yours. Both Steve Jobs of Apple and Bill Gates of Microsoft fit this description. They invented the damn kingdom then crowned themselves.

  Rulers are notorious for not listening and I rely on that deafness, even though their clients are probably unaware of it. It’s a highly competitive and often destructive position to take when working toward agreement. Breaking down an autocrat takes strength. You know your parameters like you know your own bed. Use your silence (let them run their mouth) as a time-out to reassert your power and re-engage. Authoritarians want to run the clock but that just isn’t how the world works. It takes two to forge an agreement.

• The Self-Defender (You Win Some – You Lose Some)

  Self-defenders often work for Royals or OGs (see below). All that authority beats them down, makes them concede too easily. If you get this reputation, watch out. Word spreads and you will have trouble during future negotiations.

• The Passive-Aggressive (I Lose – You Lose)

  Passive-aggressive types usually work for the Authoritarians and want to avoid any issue that is daunting or could land them in trouble. Working with this type, you’ll have to take on the responsibility, which is great, while making them think they’re helping shape it, but that can piss you off. If you want the deal, though, passive-aggressive people are a fact of life.

• The Intellectual (I Win – You Lose)

  You see the Intellectuals coming from 50 yards. They have a big stack of documents in their hands and want to hit you over the head with paper. They bring piles of comps and analyses and photographs and reports hoping to overwhelm you with information. Don’t be fooled. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Nothing should pull you off your position. These types can come off as real estate nerds, but with many of them there’s aggression behind that fancy approach. Be forewarned.

• The Parent (I Win – You Win)

  Now that I’m so deep in this market, I don’t meet this type much anymore. It’s an offshoot of Authoritarian, only much nicer. They’ll pat you on the back and say, “When I got started . . .” So, if Authoritarians are the parents and I’m the child, I play young and dumb and then slay them with a burst of strategy and experience. Play to the situation and the person, but don’t be fooled into giving up a position you want to keep.

• The Democrat (I Win – You Win)

  This is the integrative bargainer, the person who runs business based on building consensus and agreement. Democrats are great bosses and usually highly productive negotiators. But sometimes you have to agree to disagree and the Democrat above all wants agreement. Sometimes, it’s just not possible and there has to be some friction to get where you need to get.

• The Collaborator (I Win – You Win)

  With the Collaborator it’s all “you and me against the world, so let’s make a deal that’s easiest and best for us.” If a deal comes to a standstill, you really may need to collaborate. But this is a bad look for real estate agents: It’s not about us; it’s about our clients. If you put your clients aside, are you really an “agent”? I say no.

• Mr. Nonchalant (I Win – You Win)

  I work frequently with a builder, and man, do I love the guy. He is so chill it’s as if he’s asleep. Sure I’ve seen him flip out a time or two, but it’s rare. You’ll know if you’re negotiating with a nonchalant type – they’ll yell a number at you as they disappear into the restaurant, laughing. You stand on the street scratching your head. It’s like chasing a feather in a cyclone and can be completely maddening. The nonchalant must be pinned down and confirmed for everything.

• The OG (I Win – You Lose)

  Most markets have real estate OGs, the hard-ass “old gangster” types, the “I’ve seen it all so don’t try it” agents who consistently enrage colleagues but can get huge results for their clients. These types exhibit a single emotion, usually anger, and tend to be unyielding and vengeful. They will remember everything that happens and will carry it forward in future dealings. The OG does not worry about “good relations.” It’s war with no reconstruction.

Why do these labels matter? I outline these “types” so you can recognize them and negotiate to their weaknesses. Your main modes should be any one of the collaborative win-win styles, moving into competitive mode for negotiation points that really matter to you. Be careful of losing focus and getting dragged into extremes – remember the air-conditioning unit that almost wrecked a multimillion-dollar deal? That’s where people get locked into dogfights over nothing at all. Your leverage is your refusal to do it.

We’ve had a lot of fun over the years coming up with ridiculous labels and there’s a lot of truth in the jokes. If you come up against the same small group of agents every year, get to know their style and work with it. You also need strategies to work around or blast through their nonsense. To combat any intractable behavior, you need to:

• Be clear about what you know and don’t know, and if you sense the other agent is covering something, you are probably right.
• Use the word “no.” It works.
• Hold your position and let the other agent explain their reasoning.
• Hold your position and explain your reasoning.
• Break pissing matches by moving on to another point and circling back around to the disputed one.

It’s just human nature to want to get away from someone you don’t like, but you’ve got to hang in there. Negotiating can be a well-executed rush or a frustrating shit-show of clowns. You may outmatch your counterpart by 10 years of experience or be facing a genius closer. Don’t blow it just because you want to get away from whatever is facing you across the table.

It’s also human nature to learn through pain and negotiating with difficult people. That’s what you’ll remember. The more experiences you have, the more competent you get at contentious closings. When the dust settles and you’re outside of the deal, analyze it. What parts did you negotiate well? Did you miss anything? How should you have dealt with it? Did you get the number you wanted? The number you thought it would be? If you didn’t, why not?

Did you negotiate other terms that made the client happy? Was anything you said or did particularly effective? Did you use time to drive the deal? FOMO? Or was it sheer sales, full of nudging and pulling?

Real estate is a small, gossipy world no matter where you buy and sell. If you consistently show a weakness during negotiations, it gets out. That’s why you look back at the deal. Was there any money left on the table anywhere? Did you go far enough to find the right offer? Do the contingencies satisfy your seller’s needs? Did you run tight counteroffers, getting back to everyone on time and with respect? Did you sustain the bidding as long as you could? How were your communication skills? Did your client understand everything that was going on? Did you function well as a team? Are there any deal points you gave away that you wish you hadn’t?

You want to constantly close gaps in your negotiating style and abilities so that other agents don’t develop “recycled” hammers against you. If the local industry views you as soft on putting down earnest money, they will recycle that hammer and beat you over the head with that low EMD. What if you now have a seller in a do-or-die situation, in need of moving money immediately, and they want to take this one good offer now? You will have a hard time raising the EMD without another bidder.

Your closing reputation is constantly tested in negotiations and there’s nothing more surprising and annoying to the other side than when you don’t fall for one of their moves or better yet, use one of theirs on them.

Years ago, I used to face an older agent who loved to call me “kid” at the top of his lungs. I was just beginning to build the business and was sensitive about being new to the market. And, it just pissed me off. I started calling him “Pops” at the top of my lungs, and it’s funny how quickly it went back to first names and indoor voices.

Living the examined life in business isn’t a path toward happiness; it’s the commuter’s lane to bigger paychecks. I please clients to make money. That’s my goal. That’s the prize. I open, work, and close. Analyze each deal and improve anywhere you can. I keep a file of all my sales for the last year. Listed by address, I can give you every detail of how we did it. That’s the Rain Man of LA Real Estate talking, but holding these details in my head provides a huge advantage. I remember what worked and what didn’t. I keep moving what works forward and self-correcting quickly as I do the next deal and the next and the one after that.

Real estate closes are not just about numbers. Anyone who has watched Million Dollar Listing LA knows real estate is about drama. Owners have intense bonds with their homes and hate turning them back into houses. Buyers have dreams about the future and how they want to live.

We race the real estate clock to launch a product to maximum fanfare into a highly competitive market, trigger offers and counters into a final best and close it out. No matter how tight you’ve wired your deal, every moment of the closing arc is full of emotion that can explode a deal in your face. That’s why every agent in this respect is always Agent as Therapist. Remember, the goal is to open, work, close. The goal is the get the best deal for your client. Drop the ego. Play the game. Play the person. Close.