10. TRAVELING WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY

TRAVELING WITH OTHER people is tricky enough before you add a camera and photo-based priorities into the mix. People you get along with easily at home can become your worst nightmare during a far-off trip. I speak from experience. Some of my favorite journeys have been taken with friends, but I can’t ignore the couple of friendships that were irreparably broken by time spent together under the wrong conditions abroad.

Travel is often exhausting, uncomfortable, expensive, and full of uncertainty. Add to that different personalities and different ways of dealing with crises or decision making, and you can create a pretty volatile situation for a friendship. Most, if not all, of the benefits of traveling solo become challenges when you add more people to the mix. Fortunately, through organized planning, communication, and careful selection of your travel mates, it is totally possible to share a bucket list–worthy trip of a lifetime with one of your friends—one on which your photography doesn’t have to take a back burner.

Even as a travel photographer, there are times when I travel with friends or family who have zero interest and little patience for my photographic whims, and that’s okay. Photography is my priority but it doesn’t have to be theirs. It’s their adventure too, so I carefully navigate the situations as much as possible to please everyone. Here’s what works for me . . .

Travel with Other Photographers

Generally, photographers travel well together. They swap ideas with enthusiasm, expose each other to subjects and techniques they might not have considered alone (Figure 10.1 was taken while painting with light on the suggestion of a photographer friend), and share the unspoken philosophy that the images take priority on a trip. That’s why I love photowalks and workshops. I relish any opportunity to make photography a more collaborative art and enjoy participating in the long artistic tradition of working together and pushing each other to grow and meet new challenges.

When I’m out with another photographer, I love observing their artistic process. It’s fascinating. Everyone has their own way of doing things and their own specific vision (I took the photo in Figure 10.2 under the influence of talented photographer Bill Ellzey). My work benefits from their experience and theirs from mine. You have someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to swap gear with, or someone to step into the frame as a model. You don’t need to explain why you’re getting up long before the sun or why the harsh light of midday is a great time for a nap. You don’t need to defend your desire to stand in the same spot for a while, perfecting your shot or capturing a long exposure.

10.1 Spring Bay, Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Islands
ISO 200; 30 sec.; f/5.0; 17mm

Generally, when traveling together, photographers provide an ebb and flow. A give and take. The perfect artistic symbiosis.

Frame Your Passion as a Benefit for Them

For non-photographers, traveling with a photographer has its perks. If your companions are interested in photography but have no experience, offer to help them and talk them through what you’re doing. If they couldn’t care less about making their own photographs, offer to be the documentarian of the journey. You are going to carry your camera everywhere anyway, so take plenty of photos of your friends and family along the way.

Make selfies a thing of the past by using your expertise to create flattering, dynamic travel portraits for your companions. Everyone wants a super cool, artistic profile picture in an exotic locale. People will be more patient when you want to stop and shoot, and you will have the added bonus of willing models. That said, do respect their privacy and remember that the incessant click of a shutter can be infuriating. They are traveling with you for the pleasure of your company, so put the camera away some of the time to better share travel experiences.

10.2 Foxgloves in Olympic National Park, Washington
ISO 400; 1/160 sec.; f/13; 50mm

Make Decisions Before You Go

Things like money, dietary restrictions, ideal amenities, and time priorities are extraordinarily important to discuss while planning your trip. Whether you travel with friends or family, it’s a good idea to get the awkward conversations out of the way ahead of time and make sure everyone is on the same page. It’s not enough to make a list of things you’re all interested in doing or seeing. Go into detail about how active you plan to be each day, what your budget is for meals, and how you plan to split checks.

Most of your accommodations are likely to be set ahead of time, but just in case, discuss what conditions are acceptable for each of you. Some people are fine in hostels; others require at least three-star hotels. Once, on a long overnight drive to Florida, a group of friends and I decided we needed to stop and sleep for a few hours. Because we disagreed on what level of hotel to stay in (two friends wanted as cheap a bed as possible, and the other two of us preferred to avoid contracting lice or hepatitis), we ended up in a very unfortunate roadside Scottish Inn for less than $30. I slept in my clothes on top of a beach towel and spent the whole next day fuming about it.

Resentment snowballs easily when you spend twenty-four hours a day with someone in an unfamiliar place. Communicate as much as possible ahead of time and the whole experience will benefit.

Don’t Make It About You

Most of traveling successfully with anyone, let alone with non-photographers, comes down to the golden rule: don’t be a jerk. Treat others how you want to be treated and remember that your priorities are not necessarily everyone else’s. If you have your heart set on that sunrise boat tour, then go for it, but don’t expect everyone else to tag along. If you’re on a guided hike, don’t make everyone else wait for you to get your shot.

Don’t monopolize the best vantage points. Don’t expect anyone else to be responsible for your gear. Don’t be inconsiderate about someone else’s enjoyment of the journey. Take turns making decisions, and be willing to go to places or do activities that don’t inspire you photographically. I had low expectations for the photographic opportunities on a night hike in Costa Rica, but I managed to get up close with a variety of wildlife (Figure 10.3).

If you realize that you have been a jerk, then own up to it and buy a round of drinks or desserts. The golden rule will get you far.

Strike Out on Your Own

Just because you’re traveling with other people doesn’t mean you have to spend every second of every day with them. When your interests diverge, split up. Even if you’re on the same page, it’s a good idea to have some downtime to yourself. Go for a walk or a meal alone. Explore for a couple of hours on your own—it will provide something to talk about when you reunite and will give you a taste of the benefits of traveling solo.

10.3 A red-eyed tree frog in Monteverde, Costa Rica
ISO 100; 1/200 sec.; f/5.6; 85mm