If you are going to deal and trade and swap, you have to learn the art of negotiating. Basically the art revolves around making the other person feel they are getting as much as you are.

I like to talk about partnerships. This is my way of making this happen. I’m genuinely not out to scupper anyone else’s plans of getting rich. I don’t need them to fail in order to make me succeed. I figure we can all go forward together and no one has to lose out. If I want someone to buy something from me I expect them to be able to make a profit on it and do well out of it. I don’t want to sell and run. I want repeat business. I want a decent reputation. I want to feel good about what I do. I want a partnership.

The art of negotiating will stand you in good stead in so many different situations – from negotiating a simple pay rise to negotiating in your relationship with your partner to negotiating with your kids over pocket money. If you learn this art, everything slips along easily and smoothly and you get what you want – and they get what they want too. Win/win.

There are a number of rules about negotiating you need to bear in mind. Here are just a few of the most important ones:

• Always know your bottom line – the point beyond which you will not go.
• Always know what it is you want – the goal, the end product, the target. There’s no use negotiating if you don’t know what you are negotiating for.
• Always aim for win/win.
• Always be prepared to give up things to secure other things – be flexible and fluid.
• Always know as much as possible before you start – knowledge is power in these situations.
• Go for the best deal you can possibly justify. Coming down later is easy; going up later is almost impossible.

Those are just a few of the key points, but if you don’t know this stuff backwards, buy a book, go on a course, talk to friends who really understand the skill of negotiating.

I am always stunned and horrified by how often people go into situations – anything from a job to a relationship – without first finding out what they are embarking on, what is expected of them, what they are going to get out of it, what they expect their partner (boss, business buddy, lover, offspring, whoever) to get out of it and where they expect to end up. You’ve got to discuss these things – and that really is the basic art, discussion. Bring things out into the open so there are no assumptions. Assumptions are bad.