Cool title.

Best part is that it's a pretty perfect description of nonverbal communication.

You might notice that I use the phrases "nonverbal communication" and "body language" almost interchangeably in this book at times. So let's define each of these right away.

The fact is that body language is a subdomain of nonverbal communication.

Body language refers to body position, gestures, eye contact, and ... the body!

Nonverbal communication includes those things but also includes how people dress, societal norms on dress and behavior, the jewelry people wear, the tattoos people reveal, the distance people stand from each other, the way people use time, the way people use space ... even the tone and pitch of people's voices.

And it is at this level of nonverbal communication that The Secret Language of Business occurs.

The vast majority of all that is communicated is nonverbal. Everything in nonverbal communication has a significant impact on you and me. Most people, however, live very randomly or live intentionally and then send messages they believe to say one thing but are received as something else.

And that is why so few people are influential. Almost no one communicates clearly. Misunderstandings abound.

Why?

People were never taught how to use the environment, their desks, the color of their homes, their jewelry, their necklines, skirt length, low rider pants, tattoos, and so forth to influence.

And when you think about it that is a shame because the words you and I say are darned important, but the nonverbal communication we send and receive is far more important.

Here you go: A woman in an office is hoping for attention—and a promotion—from superiors for the good job she's doing, so she starts with the sweater with a plunging neckline and so forth.

Attention?

She gets it.

Promotion?

Not a chance.

An accumulation of studies shows that women who are in the field of selling (not including casinos and resorts) have longer appointments with the decision maker if they dress revealingly.

The other result?

They make far fewer sales.

Dress is very influential.

The term body language is overused.

One person might say, "Her body language was very negative throughout the meeting," while another person might say, "His body language was very aggressive and intimidating." In both cases, however, body language is only a portion of the communication process that led to a specific conclusion or interpretation about the other person.

And interpretations are just as often incorrect as they are correct.

We speak of body language as if it were a separate, distinct activity, unrelated to other communication characteristics such as words, tone of voice, pacing, volume, and the like. The reality is all of these communication elements work together, and it is extremely difficult (if not impossible) to completely separate them from each other.

Despite the complex interrelationships involved in communication, researchers and scientists have successfully studied its parts and components to produce a much greater understanding of how these parts work individually and how they work together. Body language and other elements of nonverbal communication are components of communication that are readily observable and measurable, so our knowledge about them continues to grow at a steady and rapid pace.

This book sheds light on body language and nonverbal communication. The Secret Language of Business. And there is a great deal of information I am excited to present along the way.

You can use all the factors you learn about to be more influential. You can use everything you learn here to read other people.

Because people's body movements are typically controlled by the nonconscious mind, the person you are watching may not only not be aware of the message he is sending, he may not even cognitively agree with it!

(You probably want to read that again.)

One of the reasons there is so much trouble in communication in general is because people live on autopilot. We rarely use our conscious will. If we had to use conscious thought for everything we do, we'd never get anything done, and we'd all die in car accidents in the next week.

At the nonconscious level (the part of us that for better and worse "does" but doesn't "think") the brain sends impulses for the body to move, be still, look, engage, confront, run, hide, you name it.

And all of this happens before the thinking (cortical) part of the brain has clicked in and knows what the body is doing.

Words come out of your mouth and before you know it, you've said something you didn't mean (though you might have felt what you said).

Sometimes the thinking brain is in alignment with the nonconscious mind, and sometimes the two cause very different behaviors to happen.

In fact, a growing body of research reveals that there is no significant correlation between the personality and behaviors of the nonconscious mind and the personality and behaviors of the conscious mind.

(Say "wow." )

Thus, when you read someone, you might see one thing while the person is thinking of something totally different.

Finally, if you use this book to help you read the nonconscious mind and use the information as a way to predict nonconscious behavior and nonconscious decisions (those that happen quickly and without cognition) you will do much better at reading people and predicting their behavior.

You'll be able to influence people with ease.

You'll be able to know what they will do next more often than you might guess.

But will you know what they are thinking at the level of conscious thought?

That's not the best use of accurate body language reading.

One quick example.

Have you ever found yourself staring at someone, then after a minute you catch yourself and wonder why you are staring?

The person isn't attractive, and you aren't remotely interested.

But there you are burning a hole through this stranger.

In business you can get in big trouble for such behavior.

But try telling the woman that your nonconscious mind was at work and you didn't mean anything by it.

And of course, in this case, that is the truth!

Your nonconscious mind might have been staring because it perceived her as a threat, or because the woman looked like someone else who had some connection to you (typically emotional and not good) in the past.

Whatever the case (you can't be certain as to why the nonconscious mind directs the body to do something, you can only observe the result), you learned something and so did she, and they were not necessarily the same things.

More often than not The Secret Language of Business is about influencing the nonconscious mind and the behavior it directs.

That said, it's mighty important to influence the thinking brain, too.

As you read this book, always be aware of these two crucial distinctions.

People's thoughts and behaviors aren't related anywhere near as often as you'd like to believe.

As a rule, the conscious mind is more influenced by words and the nonconscious mind is more influenced by everything else (nonverbal communication, including body language).

To learn more about the nonconscious mind and the illusion of conscious will, there is a lengthy discussion at www.kevinhogan.com/nonconsciousmind.htm.