CHAPTER 1

THUMBS UP: A POSITIVE SIGN

Thumbs Up people are positive people. The energy they create attracts all the goodness the world has to offer. Thumbs Up people wake up every day feeling excited and go to sleep every night feeling safe.

Thumb through the pages of history and you will discover something remarkable. The first thumbs up was not an accident. When early primates’ opposable thumbs first touched their index finger, it allowed them to grasp things. One of the most important things we would come to grasp was the idea that the future was in our hands.

There is no simpler way to say “Way to go” or “Good job” or “I did it” than raising your thumb. It’s a universal gesture for “I’ve landed on the moon” or “I’ve landed on my feet.” It’s a signal that says “Watch this.” It’s a symbol of courage and encouragement, an acknowledgment that I believe in me and I believe in you. It’s a way to give yourself or someone else a hand.

A thumbs up is an affirmation to the world, a stranger, a friend, a teacher, a parent, a child, or a significant other. A thumbs up is a prediction that what you are about to do will succeed. It’s a hooray, a flag raised, a wave of assurance, a stamp of approval, an icon, a badge of optimism, a “like” on Facebook, a salute to victory, a wink to what you love. A nod to God.

Giving a thumbs up is not just good body language. It’s a hug from your heart. It’s proof of your intention in the present and your faith in the future.

No other finger operates quite like it. Even though it’s the shortest finger, it has more power than any other and more muscles dedicated to its reach.

WE ARE BORN LOOKING UP

It should come as no surprise that when you raise your thumb, you raise your chances for success, wellness, and love, increasing the possibility of achieving the life you always dreamed of.

A Thumbs Up attitude begins with a sign and a thought. It starts with the all-important awareness that you can change your thoughts and change your life. If you are constantly seeking reasons to be positive, you are more likely to influence what you think. The ripple continues, and other ripples will follow.

Roman emperors called their thumb signal pollice verso and used it in the notorious Coliseum. Thumbs down meant a quick death for the gladiator. Thumbs up indicated that he should be spared. Though the days of gladiatorial combat are long over, the thumbs up sign still signifies life some twenty-three centuries later!

We are all born looking up. Then we strive to stand up and grow up. But along the way we encounter people and events that can lower our gaze and bring us down. We all need a hand. And that’s why I wrote this book.

Thumbs Up is not a handbook about how to avoid being down but a story about looking up in the face of adversity. Bad things happen to all of us. It’s how we respond to those challenging moments that defines us and determines the course of our lives.

By paying attention to even the most seemingly insignificant thought, we can rewire our life’s path. It begins by raising your thumb.

Think about it. When you consider doing something positive, you have a choice to act on that intention or not. When you decide to share a positive thought, it’s because you gave yourself permission to do so. The same goes for talking yourself out of a positive thought.

So, think about whom you’ve been listening to. How’s that working for you?

Zap a negative thought and try reacting with a Thumbs Up response. Notice what’s right. Share the love. Show your appreciation and gratitude. The goal is to nurture and give life and attention to productive thoughts. It’s about banishing the negative, blaming, finger-pointing thoughts that underestimate the power of good.

How we react to the little moments in our lives makes the difference between the happy and hapless, the helpful and helpless, the hopeful and hopeless.

GIVING THE THUMBS UP SIGN ISN’T ALWAYS EASY

Sometimes just getting your thumb up feels nearly impossible. I know firsthand. Facing one of the darkest hours of my life, I learned that when you give a thumbs up, the world looks up.

After partying in Rome one evening in 1975 with an actual princess, I was a passenger in a sports car that broadsided a bus at fifty miles per hour. My right arm was crushed in the accident, leaving my hand paralyzed.

The timing could not have been worse. I had journeyed all the way to the Cinecittà Film Studios to intern with the great film director, Federico Fellini, and had not even started work. Worse yet, I was twenty-two years old and felt that my life was over. Who would love me without a hand? Who would offer me a job? Mind you, this was the pre-Paralympics, pre-wheelchair-accessible era.

The ambulance race to a nearby hospital was a blur, but the Italian word amputazione quickly focused my attention. The hospital reached my mother, who flew to Rome to find me in post-op. The doctors had saved my arm but not its ability to move. They said that with lots of physical therapy there was a slim chance I might be able to raise my thumb.

I never forgot that. To the doctors it was a medical prognosis. But to me it became an anthem for life—raise that thumb and the rest will follow.

Choreographing hundreds of bones, muscles, and nerves in my hand was difficult enough, but keeping a positive attitude was the real hurdle. I couldn’t just assume that it would happen. I had to take charge and keep in mind a positive image of my hand moving. When the negative thoughts started to creep in, I would chase them away. I had to see my hand moving. I had to believe that image could beat paralysis. I had to say to myself, “I can move my thumb. I can do this.”

GIVING ANOTHER A HAND

My mother arrived with a gift in hand. It was a Saint Jude medal that she purchased in Rome a few days after her arrival. Saint Jude is the patron saint of lost causes. Mom figured it would work for me. She attached it to a gold watch fob and placed the magical necklace around my neck.

Santo Spirito, the hospital where I’d been taken, was the oldest and most holy of hospitals in Rome. The nurses were nuns, crosses adorned every wall, and century-old frescos told stories of healing. This was obviously a place where miracles could happen.

I remember believing that the medal was a sign that some greater force would intervene. Perhaps Saint Jude Thaddeus? Thaddeus is a Greek name that means “great-hearted one.” Catholics celebrate him as the Saint of the Impossible. He must have been an eternal optimist as well. He had to be if he was going to cure all of these incurables, including me.

The next day, after my mother arrived, I was visited by a South African minister who was quite sure I could get the use of my hand back by believing so (which I took to be another sign). He quoted Mahatma Gandhi, who said that if you have an idea and take action on it, that action becomes a habit. That habit changes your character and that new character determines your destiny.

GIVING MYSELF A HAND

The idea on which I took action was getting my hand back in working condition. The minister said that feat was up to me. If it’s to be, it’s up to me. A simple concept. Say it out loud. If it’s to be, it’s up to me. Now think of an idea that is dear to you. Have you taken action on it? If so, congratulations. If not, this book is a good first step. As I learned, the work begins with you and your beliefs. What we think about is what happens.

I had two choices: hand my destiny over or take it over. In a defining moment, I made a choice to not give up on what seemed impossible. I found and surrounded myself with positive forces—nuns, patients, doctors, visitors, my mother, and Saint Jude, all of whom believed that I could get that thumb up.

We are given two hands to remind us that one hand needs another—whether it’s the hand of a friend, a parent, a priest, or even God. As John Lennon quoted Yoko Ono in his final interview, “A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.”

By taking action in soliciting their support, positive thinking became easier for me and felt more like habit. I shifted my mind-set from the hand I did not have to reaching for my dream to write.

WRITE YOUR OWN SCRIPT

Just as the minister had predicted, my new habit of optimism changed my disposition, perspective, spirit, and, yes, character. I felt stronger, as a person of character does. And that character is who I would be for the rest my life.

During my convalescence, I realized that if I could become the author of my own script, I could write my next chapter. I was determined to define myself rather than be defined by others.

Life is full of authority figures—people who give you orders, make decisions for you, and try to control you with rules. Well, here is something to always remember: The word “author” is in the word “authority.” When you author your story, you become the greatest authority in your life.

THE DAY I LIFTED THE WORLD

The day I lifted my thumb was the most uplifting day of my life. And from that moment on, I have held the power of positive thinking close to me and have never let it go. I had won. My thumb moved because I believed it would and I made it happen. And just like the doctors said, my other fingers would follow its lead. That’s the power of being Thumbs Up.

No gesture is more positive than a thumb pointing straight to the sky. Soldiers do it before going into battle. Astronauts do it before blasting off into space. Rock stars like the Beatles give it to their fans. And I would raise my thumb thousands of times after Rome, 1975.

I did it after my wife Cynthia and I exchanged vows and said farewell to our wedding party twenty-four years ago. I did it for my sons, Alden and Julien, when they came up to bat at little league games and when they went off to college. Did it when I sold my company, did it again when I bought it back. Today, I do it before going into business meetings and after I win the business.

Thinking Thumbs Up is the core of resilience. Being Thumbs Up means you are open to opportunities.

How many times have you given a thumbs up? To your spouse at the beginning of the day? To your child after a great recital? Everyone has given the thumbs up sign. The trick, of course, is to do it every day and look for the possibilities to be positive.

If our thumbs spent less time down on our iPhones and Androids and more time up in the air, we would realize the real joys and possibilities of life.

GROWING UP THUMBS UP

My mother was a formidable influence on my Thumbs Up development. She lavished me with attention and infused me with confidence and an unswerving belief that I could do anything. As early as I can remember, she said, “Joey, you can do it. Joey, you’re the best. Joey, you’re a winner.” She constantly played the song “The Impossible Dream” from the Broadway musical Man of La Mancha and was telling me to just do it long before Nike adopted the slogan.

I’ve read that when your parents are your biggest fans, you’re bound to go on to bigger audiences. Picasso’s mother told him, “Pablo, if you can become a soldier, you’ll be a general. If you become a monk, you’ll end up a pope.” Instead, he became a painter and wound up as Picasso.

Parents need to remember that being supportive means nurturing our children. Giving them confidence in themselves rather than conning them into doing something Mom and Dad want them to do.

For my ninth birthday, I received a present that summed up my mother’s belief in her son—a miniature White House. Just big enough for me and a few visiting dignitaries from school. The message? If I wanted to be president, all I had to do was vote for myself.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU A THUMBS DOWN

Life throws us constant curves, and I’ve certainly seen my share. But the toughest of all came in September 1981 when my father Henry was diagnosed with a rare form of adrenal cancer. I was twenty-nine. He was just sixty-two. We were both too young to get that news.

My father deteriorated in front of my eyes. On December 4, 1981, he lost his battle and I lost my hero. It’s been said that it’s easier when death is not sudden, but believe me, no matter how long an illness lasts, the end is always sudden. Sometimes beginnings are as well.

After the funeral, my mother said that my dad had left no will, no insurance policy, and no money and that she had no means to support our family. Boom! All of a sudden, I had a family to support. We were broke and broken-hearted. I still remember looking inside my wallet at a twenty-dollar bill, wondering how my $30,000-a-year salary from advertising could support all three of us and pay the bills. I might have just enough in the bank to pay for my dad’s funeral.

My younger brother Michael and my ailing mother were scared. I was, too, but this is where resilience comes to the rescue.

A week after burying Dad, I had to take action. I took charge and did everything I humanly could do to help my mom and my brother, and the rest is history. No one ever said life would be easy. And boy, it was not. It took hard work, a united family, learning how to ask for help, and giving more than receiving. It’s amazing how much we learn about ourselves when tough times hit.

Resilience is part of everyone’s DNA. Even during the darkest days for my family, something inside me said, “Joey, get creative and get going.” That’s the way I define resilience—your best idea plus action. You might say I had no choice, but we all have choices. I chose life.

My father’s passing left us out in the cold. Michael, who was closer to my father than I was, was deeply bereaved and my mother was in a state of, well, shock. She had been married to Dad for thirty-three years.

Those lessons in the Italian hospital came careening back. Time to pass the Thumbs Up forward. It was time to give a thumbs up and somehow get my brother and mother to do the same.

BEING THUMBS UP WHEN LIFE KNOCKS YOU DOWN

Life can be cruel, but I have learned that even when bad things happen, the outcome is based on our outlook. Take Roger Ebert, the most famous film critic in the world. Co-host with Gene Siskel of the popular TV show At the Movies, he was the only film critic ever to win a Pulitzer Prize.

In 2006, his voice and ability to eat and drink were stolen from him when cancer forced the removal of his jaw. Ironically, his horrific situation led to the most prolific time of his life. Through his loves, losses, and struggle with alcohol, Ebert maintained a “two thumbs up” appreciation for life and love.

Ebert believed that when you are doing something you love, fear gets pushed to the back of your mind. As Ebert succinctly says in Life Itself, a biographical documentary about his legacy as one of the most influential cultural voices in America, “Make your heart your face.”

In his memoir of the same name Ebert wrote, “I believe that if, at the end of it all, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts.”

The omission of making yourself and others happy is an unlawful act. Break the law enough and you go to jail. Then you feel isolation, a separateness that keeps people apart. Kindness, on the other hand, is a good deed that creates unity, not selfdom. It’s the ultimate “get out of jail free” card.

WHEN THINGS GET OUT OF HAND

One of the most powerful strategies to get life back on track is to create a plan of action. Most people look for immediate solutions, but the irony is that your plan is the solution. A plan gives you a path and line of sight. It changes your feeling from falling apart to coming together. So create a plan and thumb through it daily.

There is great power in beginnings. Our first love, our first job, our first house are permanently seared into our memories. Relish your beginnings. We learn and thrive from new hobbies, new friends, and new ways of looking at life. We get many first chances and the opportunity to start over, especially when our plans don’t work or it’s time to make new ones.

But starting over is also tough. It certainly was for my mom, brother, and me, but we did it. We moved into a small apartment, developed a plan, and pursued it together. We had to reach for larger opportunities in order to deal with the looming challenges, which seemed to grow by the day. In order to make ends meet, we had to focus not on endings but rather on beginnings.

My mother had to focus on life without my father and how to keep his memory and spirit alive. Faced with the harsh lesson that life is not a dress rehearsal, my brother and I had to figure out how to do something we would love that would also be productive.

None of us know when our end will come. But I have learned that in every beginning you’ll find a renewed hope, faith, and spark of optimism and possibility. But you must believe it to achieve it.

The best way to take life in is to take life on. And that’s what my family did. I had already survived a serious car accident, and it was no accident now that we got hit hard again with my dad’s untimely death. This time I knew I had to reach even deeper to remain Thumbs Up, or I’d bring everyone down.

MAKE A LOVING, NOT A LIVING

My mother and brother and I agreed that we would rebuild our lives as a team. My mother would write astrology columns and my brother would embark on his dream to become a pilot. Both pursuits had been dormant, but now they had the impetus to pursue them. Mom and Michael had held themselves back from being their fully alive selves. Now it was time to take action.

I already loved being a copywriter on Madison Avenue. The 1980s were even more fun than the 1960s were depicted on the wildly popular TV series Mad Men. It was more like Glad Men.

Being raised with a Thumbs Up attitude and having to literally get my thumb back up helped me enormously. Being positive has a generative effect. Try it! The point here is with an all-thumbs-in attitude, we were able to make not just a living, but a loving.

As my mother, the astrologer, reached for the stars and my brother’s aviation career took off, I was climbing the ladder of success. At age twenty-nine—less than a year after I’d lost my father—I became the youngest executive vice president of a global advertising firm.

How did I do it? By loving what I was doing. Taking the risk to ask for a meeting with the CEO of the company and requesting my salary be doubled. The CEO was my hero. He knew I respected his work and he made sure I knew he valued mine. I was working on purpose. My purpose. Doing what I was supposed to do.

When you love what you do, it doesn’t matter where you end up. You are already a success. It’s the Law of UP—if you are not looking down at the world, you will move up.

And I was looking at the top job in my field—chief creative officer of the New York office—when I got a call I wasn’t expecting.

It was from the chairman who said I would not get the job. I was too green. Really? Instead, he offered me the top creative spot in an outpost called Atlanta, Georgia. I was crestfallen. It felt like a thumbs down. But was it?

I arrived at D’Arcy MacManus Masius Worldwide in Atlanta in February 1984. Within two years the agency tripled in size, winning pitch after pitch and landing me on the cover of the national publication Ad Age. I had stuck my thumb up and out, hoping my success would get me a ride back to New York City and the Big Job.

But instead I received a call from another thirty-something ad guy. That call would lead to the partnership—Babbit & Reiman Advertising—that would take the industry by storm. Within eighteen months, we were billing nearly $100 million. We won thirty-two out of thirty-five pitches and were known for giving the thumbs up sign with the same gusto that Zorro left his iconic Z.

WHY I LEFT AD-LANTA

Eventually our agency became famous, but my passion for advertising was waning. I sorely realized the world was ad rich and idea poor.

After I’d been punching the clock for almost twenty years, the clock was punching me back. My father’s deathbed counsel came back to me: “It’s not the time you spend at the office but with your family that counts.”

I share this story for those of you who think your net worth is what makes you happy. It’s not. It’s your self-worth that makes you rich, and that can only come from loving yourself, what you do, and, if you’re lucky enough, the one who completes you.

I learned that the real ladder of success is the one leaning on your home, and to always put dreams before the dollars. My advertising career was ending so that I could begin living my real purpose.

BUSINESS GIVES A THUMBS UP TO HUMANITY

I closed the doors of my advertising agency in 1994 and opened the world’s first ideation company, BrightHouse—a consultancy whose purpose was to make the world a brighter place.

For too long business was in business for itself, giving anything that did not make itself wealthier the thumbs down. I decided it was time for business to give society the thumbs up by making more good more available to more people.

That year, BrightHouse was tapped to help bring the Paralympic Games to Atlanta. Paralympic players come from all walks of life, though many can no longer walk. Or see. Or use their hands. But they all think Thumbs Up, which takes them to breathtaking athletic and personal heights. The disabled are superabled because they have overcome. They teach us that though we can’t correct the wind, we can adjust the sails.

The tagline I wrote for the Games that year was What’s Your Excuse?, followed by the sentence The Olympics is where heroes are made, the Paralympics is where heroes come.

This was my first taste of what advertising could do if it added a “D”—ADDvertising, which means creating ideas that would add to the world. Unknown to me at the time, BrightHouse was starting a movement for businesses to become positive and purpose-focused.

THUMBS UP: THE MOVEMENT

Thumbs Up is not just a book or a sign; it’s a movement and the way forward.

A thumbs up is a boomerang that comes right back to you. It returns with a smile, good feelings, a better day, good karma.

This book is your permission to start a ripple of Thumbs Up all over the world. If more people like you looked up, perhaps the world wouldn’t be quite so down. When we uplift others, we uplift ourselves. So give a thumbs up daily. It works. Send a signal to society. This is your mission as a passenger on this planet: a vision for a world without fallen gladiators and a purpose big enough for all.

From this day on, help people go forth by giving them a thumbs up. Get in the habit of sharing praise. Even one thumbs up a day counts. Watch what happens. I guarantee you will get one in return. A smiling hand can reach higher and grab more of life and love.

When you give your kids, your spouse, your employees, or your clients a thumbs up, you are validating another life, person, action, or deed. A thumbs up is a universal sign of healing, happiness, joy, approval, validation, and purpose. It is the silent expression that speaks the loudest. One thumbs up can change a life. Start with yours.

TWO RULES OF THUMB

As you read this book, keep in mind that it’s time to celebrate life with a simple gesture that has a big message. Remember my two rules of thumb; both are easy to execute but require practice:

         1.    Give yourself the thumbs up.

         2.    Give negative thinking the thumbs down.

If you can raise your thumb, you can elevate your life. Your mind can only hold one thought at a time, so why not make it a positive one?

For me, a thumbs up was a positive sign and the beginning of my comeback after being told I might never move my fingers again. Lying in that hospital room, I thought the worst—that I would lose the use of my hand. Without a hand, no one would love me and no company would hire me. I would be alone and die.

I uttered the word “should” thousands of times. I should have gone to law school. I should have gone to the opera instead of the disco. I should have gotten her phone number instead of getting into the car. We all “should” on ourselves incessantly.

Shoulda-coulda-woulda thinking is the roadblock to every destination in life. Instead, we need green-light thinking, which is a mind-set that says go. But what do you do when your bones and nerves are broken? You create a breakthrough.

There is a Native American story about a very young warrior who goes to his grandfather, the chief of his tribe, with a conundrum. “I have two wolves inside me,” he tells the chief. “One wolf is hopeful, spirited, and kind, and the other wolf is mean, competitive, and evil.

“Who will win?” he asks.

The grandfather pats the young warrior on his head and says, “The one who will win is the one you feed.”

During my darkest hours, I had found life’s secret: You are what you think.

FROM THUMBS UP TO LOOKING UP!

Living Thumbs Up is not just a mind-set. It’s a reset. This new way of thinking changes the way we take on life. Because when you feel up, you love to show up; you are more likely to follow up and definitely speak up. When you look up you see your highest self.

Think of it as your secret formula. Like the Coca-Cola Company, whose secret formula is said to refresh the world’s spirit, you, too, have a secret for renewing your spirit and making life sparkle. Focus on looking up and I promise things will look up.

What’s more, people who look up don’t look down on others. They don’t try to “one up” each other. So much unhappiness stems from comparing ourselves to others.

Happy, joyful, content people move up because they show up, follow up, speak up, look up, and avoid staying stuck in their own circumstances or those created by people who give them a thumbs down.

Thumbs Up people view others’ needs as a cause greater than their own. When we are Thumbs Up, we stop thinking only about ourselves. When that happens, it’s amazing who enters our lives and what happens when they do.

Thumbs Up people are both problem solvers and solution seekers. They act on their dreams and ask for help. There are no back burners. Thumbs Uppers live a life free of regret or dreams delayed. They never put life on hold.

Here are some inside secrets to staying Thumbs Up—and on the up and up. Each chapter helps you use your own “hand” book, starting with your thumb. When you raise your thumb, you raise your hand to life. Creating a Thumbs Up attitude will help you adopt a whole new altitude.

LET’S START THINKING UP!

         1.    Think up. My mother always said, “Thoughts have wings.” Remember, your attitude creates your altitude. This book is about setting the stage for thinking your way to a better life—at home and at work.

         2.    Show up. Woody Allen said, “Half of success is showing up.” Without showing up, you are not present. Your presence is key. Avoid being invisible. That’s called presenteeism—your body is present but your mind is elsewhere.

         3.    Follow up. With my first book I got a resounding “NO” from publisher after publisher until one finally said yes. Walt Disney went to 302 banks before one gave him a loan for what the others considered a Mickey Mouse idea. Don’t stop until it’s a go.

         4.    Speak up. “Tell them about the dream, Martin,” yelled gospel singer Mahalia Jackson the day of the March on Washington. Deviating from his script, Martin Luther King Jr. spoke up. His “I Have a Dream” speech awakened our nation’s hopes and buried our hates.

         5.    Look up. Life is looking up in more ways than one. First, life is looking up to the stars. That’s where we are from. Yes, we are made of stars. It is also looking up to something Greater. We are hardwired to seek greater meaning. And when we do, we say to ourselves, “Life is looking up.”

Many believe we are the amalgam of what happens around us. But I believe we are the product of what happens inside our heads. As I had learned at the Italian hospital, we are what we think. So don’t say, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Say, “I’ll see it when I believe it.” Say “no” to no and “yes” to yes. Say yes every day to something new that you know could add meaning and purpose to your day and to your life.

At the hospital, I thought yes. I can do it. That is how I got my thumb to move and, in turn, moved my world from hapless to happy, from helpless to helpful, and from hopeless to hopeful.

We now know that thumbs-down thinking suppresses the immune system, raises blood pressure, and creates stress and fatigue in the body. We also know that a positive attitude creates positive chemistry in your body and between bodies.

It’s your choice.

In his bestselling 1946 book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychotherapist, wrote, “The last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

This sentiment, from one who witnessed the worst horrors known to humanity, is further testament to the Talmud quote in the beginning of this book: “We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.”

Freedom is the state of free will. That will rests in our minds and, when awakened, that will can stop every “won’t” in the world.

THE THUMBS UP RESPONSE

Sometimes it’s hard to keep your thumb up. I know. We have all survived challenging days, often blindsided by problems or difficult choices, stuck and unsure of what to do next. One thing is certain: Problems do not go away, but your way of handling them makes all the difference in the world.

Miracles from upstairs happen every day. But miracle workers on the ground create many more through the actions they take. This is what I call your “response-ability”—how you respond to life’s downturns and turndowns.

Downturns are when plans don’t go as planned. Thumbs Uppers don’t shut down or shut up. They have another plan, their backup plan. Having plan B is the best way to succeed when plan A does not work.

In my early days of advertising, my boss never let me go to a client with just one winning campaign; I had to bring two that I loved. Then the decision would be between options one and two, not winning or losing.

Turndowns are when you feel rejected. A love interest, a client, a job interview, or a school turns you down. Again, Thumbs Uppers believe that the rejection has little to do with them. They know it’s not their issue but rather due to reasons beyond their control. And if it is their issue, they see the moment as a learning opportunity to get it right the next time.

GIVE TODAY A THUMBS UP

Now is the most important time of the day, because this is the time when everything in your life can change. For Thumbs Up people, “some day” is not a day of the week. Dwelling on the past has no future. Today is a GIFT, not TGIF.

Ask yourself this question: What will you do today to make your dream happen?

Do you believe it is possible to turn impossible into I’m possible? Then do something right now.

There is a wonderful and true story about survivors of a plane that went down over the Amazon jungle. The survivors were sure they would be found so they stayed put. Soon food and water started to run out. On the tenth day, they were beginning to lose hope when one survivor found his. “If they can’t find us, we need to find them,” he said. And off he went. He soon discovered rescuers and managed to save his crew.

Now, when he gives speeches about the incident, this scrappy survivor ends his talks with one question: “When is your tenth day?”

Thumbs Up people don’t put off; they take on. Giving yourself a thumbs up can kick-start your life right now.

GIVE ONE THUMBS UP A DAY

Getting my thumb up in that Italian hospital room was a miracle. I remember my first thumbs up to the doctors. Getting one back confirmed I was coming back.

We all have thumbs-down days and challenging events in life. We’re pulled down by loss, grief, disappointment, failure, illness, and the list goes on. Pain is inevitable, but experts have concluded that most of our suffering is optional.

Some days are darker and tougher than others. Life presents tragedies that the human spirit can’t wrap its mind or arms around. Yes, everyone is coming back from something. Sometimes you lose something or someone or just lose your way. That’s why a Thumbs Up thought or attitude or even a glimpse of hope is so comforting. It’s a signpost that says you are on the right track. And even if the road is long, the journey back to hope and happiness is possible.

Speaking of tracks, imagine you are a hitchhiker. You put out your thumb for a ride. Someone stops, opens the car door, and invites you in. This stranger helps you get as close to your destination as possible.

It works the same way in life. When you stick your thumb out, your chin up, and offer someone a hand, people stop, open doors, and invite you into their lives, all of which helps you—and them—reach your dreams. With this in your heart, give one person a thumbs up today. You will witness the power of praise. When you give yourself or other people a thumbs up, you are sending a message that they are important. Being a source of positivity is a gift you give yourself and the world.

Raising your thumb raises all ships. Use it in mentorship, show it in friendship, and give one to your relationship. It improves workmanship, scholarship, and leadership. The only ship it sinks is hardship.

I give everyone I meet a thumbs up upon parting because that is what I want to impart—to leave them with an unequivocal confirmation that they are headed in the right direction.

OPTING IN FOR A LIFE OF OPTIMISM

Opting in to the life you have always dreamed of requires giving yourself permission. It takes adjusting. We have to think a different way. Instead of seeing insurmountable obstacles in our way, we have to see our way around them.

If you are physically safe, there is nothing stopping you from going on the path to your dreams. Try it. Set your mind on your dream. That’s called a mind-set. Then become adaptable. This is the hard part, but if you adapt, no setback can stop your positive mindset. This is the secret. Adaptability overcomes what might otherwise be overwhelming. Adaptability is the power to adjust to your circumstances. This is called optimism.

When you believe that things will turn around, they do, not because they change but because you changed your perspective. It’s how America survived the Great Depression, world wars, and environmental disasters. We saw our way around them and in doing so we saw a better way ahead.

By remaining optimistic, we can focus on making our dreams happen. This adaptability leads to an unrestrained future and profound joy.

Optimism awakens our deepest human drive: to never give up. In this way we see the opportunity, not the obstacle, and push forward to our dreams. Remember, adjusting your mind-set to Thumbs Up resets the mind to look up, since it’s not what happens that is important, but our attitude toward each happening.

Former prime minister of India, Indira Gandhi, said, “You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.” The opposite is true as well. Clench your fist for a fight. Now raise your thumb. Your fist just made a friend and peace is at hand.

CREATE HAPPINESS WHEREVER YOU GO, NOT WHENEVER YOU GO

When I was a kid, I would watch my grandmother perform a little trick that made other people instantly happy. She would spread the fingers of one hand and place a cloth napkin over that hand. She would pull one corner of the cloth down through her thumb and index finger and then tightly close those digits. Then she would pull another corner of the cloth through her index finger and middle finger and close them as well. Then she would tug on the cloth in the same two places to make napkin “ears.” Presto—a regular napkin was transformed into a rabbit with a nose, ears, and a nibbling mouth.

Now, fifty years later when I see a child or adult who needs cheering up, I find a restaurant napkin, and make “Oma”—the bunny I named after my beloved grandmother. I follow Oma’s formula and watch the magic work.

Wherever you spread cheer, you create magic.

This was my Oma’s way to give the world a thumbs up. It was a simple trick and her way to share a smile wherever she went.

FROM ROAD RAGE TO ROAD SAGE

Years ago, I was in a traffic jam in Atlanta. It was late in the day and frustrated drivers were honking their horns. I remember a car that cut me off and pulled ahead. I got caught up in the moment and became irate. I pulled up to the car with the intent of giving the driver the middle finger, but in the moment I decided to give him a thumbs up sign signaling all was okay. He was surprised, to say the least. He rolled down his window, returned the thumbs up, and said, “Have a great day.”

I never forgot that moment, and to this day I take every chance to give fellow drivers the right of way with a thumbs up. Imagine if we all gave each other a thumbs up when we were in a jam, traffic or otherwise.

OPTIMISM HAS A GOOD RING TO IT

“I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was,” boasted heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali.

In the boxing ring of life there are two kinds of people: those who want the bell to ring to end the match, and those who do not. When you are slugging it out and winning in life you feel the rapture of being alive. Sure, we all take the punches and the jabs, but what matters is that we swing back.

Former US President Theodore Roosevelt said, “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”

Here is a man who did not want the bell to ring. Wanting the bell to ring is not always a bad thing, though. Like a boxer who is hurt and needs a breather, the ring of that bell is a welcome relief.

Go into round 1 with a knockout attitude, not waiting to be saved by the bell. What saves us is knowing we will prevail, keeping our thumbs up, and knowing the world is in our corner. It is interesting to note that a boxing glove has two parts. One part protects the four fingers while the other part is dedicated to protecting the all-important thumb.

WAKE UP ONE DAY AT A TIME

Let’s explore this idea of waking up. Today let’s wake the soul, an essential part of the spirit. Wake up your actions. The art and act of waking up your thumb to reach upward as I did after my accident is the first step. This chapter sets the stage for making your life more peaceful and meaningful. Without a Thumbs Up attitude, it’s hard to get past your own problems.

Start small but think big. You don’t have to take on the world today. But you can take on one day, one hour at a time, starting with the moment you wake up. Wow! Imagine that every day you WAKE UP in more ways than one.

Your first breath of the day is hugely important. What idea are you inhaling? I hope it is, with awe and wonder, I am alive. Wake up and make small, significant changes to your life and they will add up.

I wake up on the right side of the bed. Here are some of the ways that make my day better and keep me feeling awake, alive, and alert—Thumbs Up even on down days. Keeping a few Thumbs Up rules at the top of my mind helps me better listen to myself.

Top Ten Thumbs Up Tips

         1.    Wake up Thumbs Up. Your first breath determines the breath—and breadth—of your day. Take a minute to imagine what you want to accomplish today before jumping out of bed. Remind yourself what’s right with your life. Envision a positive, helpful day, in which you reach out to others. Count your blessings even if you can only get to one.

         2.    Turn off the noise. The words “silent” and “listen” have the same letters. Find a quiet place and listen to your heart, not just your mind, today. Meditation often works better than medication.

         3.    Be extra nice to everyone until 10 A.M. Try it. I have found if I am pleasant through midmorning the rest of the day takes care of itself.

         4.    Under-schedule yourself. Make all one-hour meetings fifty minutes instead. This way you will have ten minutes to decompress, readjust, and take on the next meeting fresh.

         5.    Think for a living. At my company, BrightHouse, we are paid for our ideas. So we spend four hours a day in thought. Give your thoughts some thought. Invest in yourself: “I think, therefore I am valuable.”

         6.    Walk the walk. Learn something new. Then, take a walk or imagine yourself walking around a park and think about what you learned. Your insight will have time to set and register.

         7.    Wonder? Leads to wonder! Ask more questions. When it comes to exquisite thinking, questions are the answer. Try this exercise. The next time a problem comes up, ask “Why?” five times. Each time you ask, you will get closer to the truth. Here’s one to start: Why are you reading this book? Okay, you take the next four.

         8.    Be a whys guy. If you know your why—your personal purpose or what you love to do—you will make better whats. Purpose is where your unique gifts and the needs of the world intersect. So, why are you here?

         9.    Reward daydreaming. When Albert Einstein was asked what a typical day at Princeton University was like, he replied that 20 percent of the time he taught students and 80 percent of the day he stared out the window. Dreams are much better when you are awake. So put time aside every day to dream. A mind at play produces more and better ideas than a mind at work. As Einstein said, “Creativity is intelligence having fun.”

       10.    Call it a day. If we could really end our business day at 5 P.M. we all would live another ten years. Enough work, it’s time to love—your mate, your pets, yourself. After all, everything else in life is a consolation prize for love. And keep in mind that tomorrow is another day to be Thumbs Up.

TAP INTO YOUR WELL-BEING

As this chapter comes to a close, my challenge to you is to stay Thumbs Up even when life wants to drag you down. Think about what gives you joy and do it.

A story comes to mind that might help you during those trying moments.

When our son Julien was six he was feeling down. He’d had a bad day at school and was really sad. I told him about the well-being—a story about how every human being has a well inside him, and if you reach down into your well, into your spirit, you’ll find your well-being. It is a beautiful well, and if you go deep enough you’ll find a wonderful stream of fresh, clear thinking that will refresh you, restore you, and renew you.

At first Julien seemed confused. “How could a well live inside us?” he asked. He looked at me and said, “Daddy, do you have a well-being?”

I said, “Yes, and you are a big part of it.” He smiled and seemed to understand.

Tapping into your well-being creates more of, well, your being. It’s quite simple. It is only when we reach down that we can we touch our heights. Try it. Reach deep into your well of dreams and hopes and you will discover a wellspring of vital energy.

Coming back after my accident, my ability to find a way forward for my family after losing my dad and to discover lightness after the darkness of depression are proof that the well in our being never goes dry.

When you bounce back, life becomes a ball. And when you have the ball, you have it all. So get those thumbs up and watch what happens when you point yourself in the right direction.

If this book is about one thing, it’s about understanding your why—what you were born to do, meant to be—and taking action toward that why. Taking action on something is important, but knowing where you’re headed is what we’ll discover in chapter two.