CHAPTER 4

THE FOURTH FINGER MARCHES FORTH

Only when we march forth can we turn our ideas into realities. Action is the great separator between the Haves and the Have Nots. It turns ideas into I Did It’s! Action says, “Don’t get even, get movin’.”

Vena amoris is Latin for “vein of love,” which people once believed traveled from the fourth finger to the heart. While medical science would disprove this, the matrimonial custom of placing the wedding ring on this finger continues. It is fitting, too, that shortly after the ring ceremony, we march down the aisle. Marching forth is an action that turns a vow into a wow. And the vow I made in the hospital to get my hand working became a wow the morning when I felt a tickle and a twinge in my fourth finger. My dream was marching forth. Only when we march forth can we turn our ideas into accomplishments. When you move, the world moves with you. Even fireflies know this. They only light up when they move forward.

MARCH FORTH ON MARCH 4TH

For me, March 4th is the holiest day of the year. Every company that I have ever owned closes its doors on that day to celebrate what’s most important—marching forth!

Every year on the fourth day of the third month, I encourage everybody to not only take the day off but to take it on—to act, not react. To break free of the superglue that keeps us stuck and be able to move forward in all aspects of our lives.

The best ideas are in graveyards. They are buried with the people who had them but never brought them to life. Winning thoughts that stay in our heads are losers. All of us have a book, a movie, a dream, a Prince Charming, or a great job within arm’s reach, but too often we fail to grab it. We all start masterpieces every day. Finishing them is another story. So let our fourth finger remind us to go forth.

START HERE

An action is something we do to accomplish a purpose. Throwing a ball is an action, because you make it happen. Catching one is not, because it happens to you. The same goes for life. It is not happening to you. You make it happen. This is your life. If you want your life to be a ball, you have to put yourself in the game. Getting started is the hard part. The rest is easy. If you don’t know how to get started, find someone who did—a historical figure who inspires you.

Try this exercise. If you could have dinner with five famous people from any period in history, who would they be? Okay, so dinner may not be possible, but you can read their biographies and learn from their experiences.

Find out who inspired them, what obstacles they faced, and how they got or created their big break. Put them on your personal board of directors so they can help you march forth and build a more satisfying and beautiful life.

Action turns the future into the present. If you want the tomorrow you have been dreaming of, take action today. And remember, if you want something you have never had before, you need to do something you have never done before.

ACT AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

Thinking by itself will not get you from here to there. Action is the catalyst that turns your dream into something concrete. Power isn’t in your bank account or in a Wall Street brokerage house. Power is the collection of actions you take to turn ideas into plans. The literal definition of power is the ability to act. Action separates the lovers from the loners, the happy from the hurting, the winners from the whiners. People who take action take all.

Perhaps we should replace the expression “Ask and you shall receive” with “Act and you shall receive.” History demonstrates that people who have taken action have taken the world by storm. They dream by night and build by day. For them, life is a command. Take it or forsake it.

THE BILL OF RIGHTS

When I give a speech, I often open by offering my audience an opportunity to take a $100 bill from my hand. I hold it up and ask, “Who wants this?” Silence falls across the room, as those in attendance ponder if they should jump up and grab it. Minutes that feel like hours go by as people raise their hands but do not act. I repeat myself once, twice, three times. Inevitably, a brave soul jumps to her feet and runs to the front to grab the money. The audience breaks into resounding applause and regrets not doing the same.

Occasionally, the person who grabs the bill will then offer it back to me, to which I say, “No, it’s yours.” The others in the audience then kick themselves for not giving themselves permission to take what was right in front of them.

When was the last time you said yes? Yes is one of the most powerful words in the universe.

Throughout my speaking career, which spans three decades, people have told me they remember the moment when they weren’t the one to grab what they wanted. They didn’t put their hands on something right at their fingertips. Imagine what else they didn’t grab. Love? Success? Friendship? Opportunity?

It’s no surprise that Benjamin Franklin graces the $100 bill, since he is the guy who said, “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusion.”

MEET ABE

Abraham Lincoln had the ability to spring back into action after taking fall after fall. That is the power of being resilient. Here is a story that will inspire you to do just that.

Lincoln was twenty-two years old when he said, “I’m going to start my own business.” He did it and ended up bankrupt. So he decided to run for the legislature a year later. He lost. So he started another business. It also went under. Fortunately he met and fell in love with an incredible woman during those trying times. “Forget about politics. Forget about business,” he said. “I’m going to focus on this beautiful relationship and live on love.” During their engagement, she died.

He suffered a nervous breakdown and ended up in an institution at age twenty-seven. That same year he did what anyone who was institutionalized would do—he reentered politics. After years of serving as a member of the Illinois House of Representatives, at age forty-five he ran for Senate and lost the election. A couple years later he ran again and lost again. At forty-nine he ran for the Senate one more time and success again eluded him when he lost the election to Douglas.

Had this tall, determined gentleman not taken one more action, you might never have known his name. At fifty-two years of age, Abraham Lincoln became the president of the United States.

His story is proof of the power of action. Lincoln never stopped marching forth. He was more than a human being. He was a human doing. And if you’re out doing, you’ll never be outdone. Lincoln wrote, “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any one thing.” When you lose, don’t lose the lesson: There is no loss unless you quit.

MEET FRED

Fred Smith was turned down 100 times before someone gave him the money to start a delivery company. Today Federal Express delivers more than a million packages every day. He got there because he absolutely, positively had to be there.

MEET STEPHEN

Stephen Hawking, regarded as the most brilliant theoretical physicist since Einstein, is also an action taker. Professor Hawking has a serious degenerative disease, which has confined him to a wheelchair for much of his adult life. In 1985, he contracted pneumonia and had to have a tracheotomy operation that destroyed his ability to speak.

Communicating with the world would be almost impossible for most people in his condition, but the tenacious professor wrote a best-selling landmark book, A Brief History of Time. He teaches in a university today, and his life will teach us forever.

MEET THE GIPPER

When you take action, you take the world into your own hands, giving yourself a vote of confidence. That vote of confidence helped Ronald Reagan turn an acting career into the highest office in the land.

Reagan was given no free rides. He grew up without much money, enrolling in Eureka College to play football. After college, he landed a job as a radio announcer and then became an actor with Warner Brothers Entertainment. Reagan, a natural leader, became president of the Screen Actors Guild.

In 1966, with no prior political experience, Reagan was elected governor of California. Though he lost the Republican nomination for the presidency in 1976, the “Gipper” elected to march forth and run again in 1980, winning both the nomination and the White House.

“Win just one for the Gipper” was a line from Reagan’s character George Gipp in the movie Knute Rockne, All American. His most memorable use of the phrase was at the 1988 Republican National Convention when he told Vice President George H. W. Bush, “Go out there and win one for the Gipper.”

MEET THE HERO

Hope is how we hold up and hold out no matter what the world throws at us.

I love the story about the gods of Olympus, who gather one day to decide where they should hide the power of hope. Their scheme was to ensure that humans would always look up to them rather than rely on hope.

One god suggests, “Let’s hide hope at the bottom of the sea.”

“No,” balks another. “They will eventually dive down there and find it. Let’s bury hope on the peak of the tallest mountain instead.”

“No, no, no,” answers the first. “They will climb up there before you know it.”

After lots of back and forth, the gods finally agree where to hide this awesome power. They will place hope where they believe humans will never look—inside the human heart.

Sorry, Olympic gods. You may be a big deal, but you haven’t seen the Paralympic Games. The incredible athletes who participate in this global event have not only found hope—it’s their salvation.

In 1994, I was given the assignment to market the Paralympic Games. I learned that these athletes were not disabled but superabled. Remember, the tagline I created was, The Olympics is where heroes are made. The Paralympics is where heroes come.

This remarkable venue is not about bodies over-coming the impossible. It is about the godlike power of the mind to say, I am possible. Paralympians are proof that there are no physical limitations when godlike dreams are at play. Heroes are dealers and ambassadors of hope.

MUHAMMAD, MOSES, AND MORE

Would we have a prayer if Jesus Christ, Buddha, Muhammad, and Moses had not taken action?

If printing had made no impression on Gutenberg?

If Columbus didn’t like to travel?

If Galileo went to bed before dark?

If the Wright Brothers never got off the ground?

If Beethoven hadn’t practiced the piano?

If Bell had never gotten the call?

If Louis Pasteur hadn’t taken a shot?

If Edison had never seen the light?

If Jane Austen wrote only once in a while?

No statue was ever erected to the memory of a person who thought it best to leave well enough alone.

There are two kinds of people who don’t like taking action:

         1.    Those who live in the past. They believe that action will cause them to lose something they had before.

         2.    Those who live in the future. They think that taking action will put their future at risk.

I remind both groups that if you keep one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you end up “tinkling” on the present. And the present is where the power is.

So march forth by taking action, now.

ACTION MAKES WORK WORK

What job would make you so happy that you would work for free?

Many of us have jobs too small for our spirits. That’s because we put our dreams on hold and hold onto our jobs at any cost. We feel this is something we just have to do but, ultimately, we pay the price. Disease at work eventually can cause disease in the body.

But I believe there’s a better way. Let’s look at our jobs differently and use the workplace to build ourselves like works of art. Taking action at work means working as the best version of you, so that you can best serve others. That’s right, you come first. What would it take to be the best version of you at work? How can you contribute more so that you can grow more and realize your dreams?

One of the best jobs I ever had was as a patient in that Italian hospital. I know that sounds crazy. Though my hand was paralyzed, I learned about optimism, compassion, teamwork, and the power of faith—all the values I hold dear today. Most important, I discovered the power of taking action on what matters most. That includes you.

Remember, being out of work doesn’t mean you’re out of luck. Broke and unknown at the time, actor Jim Carrey wrote himself a $10 million check, put it in his glove box, and drove around Hollywood going on auditions until he turned broke into a break.

Whether it’s an audition, a job interview, or a spot on the tennis team, show up with a thumbs up. If your purpose is great, so, too, will be the result. And the time it takes will not be a factor. Remember, the fastest results come from never-ending patience.

When you can’t make ends meet, meet in the middle. It buys you time. By this I mean don’t try to fix everything. Rather, make a plan and start working it. If you are overdrawn at the bank, meet with the branch manager and create a payback schedule over time. If your medical tests come back positive, make a plan and take action. Plans help take the pain away by changing your mind-set from “This is coming apart” to “This is coming together.”

WHEN THERE IS NO WIND IN YOUR SAILS

My wife’s friend worked day and night at his job at the power company, but was not happy or even slightly energized. His passion for sailing, which he indulged on the weekends, was what kept him going. My wife convinced him that if he hooked into his own power to act, he could change his life for the better. He did, and what was once a weekend sail is now a weeklong sailing school where he teaches people how to do what he loves. Adding wind to his sail came from doing what he loved full time.

Not everyone is in a position to open a sailing school, let alone power the wind in their sails. I’ve been there financially and emotionally. My company has seen hard times, and on a personal level I struggled with a whopping episode of depression that just about did me in. Worse yet, it all happened at once.

In 2004, I broke my foot jumping rope while exercising. The handle slipped out of my hand and I came down on it with my foot. A month later my mother died suddenly, followed by the death of my grandmother. The final blow was that my business was facing bankruptcy.

I went to bed and could not get out. The doctors told me I was clinically depressed. I said that was impossible. I sought help from a color therapy healer, a tarot card reader, a chiropractor, and a yogi. My doctor called me and said, “Joey, you are the Queen of Denial, and I am not talking about the river.” He was right. I was denying myself the opportunity to get well.

I spiraled downward to the point that no one around me could help. I was scared to death. At the bottom of my melancholy, I found my only hope. Me. Suddenly, I was no longer scared to live.

SOMETIMES THE WAY TO GIVE A HAND IS TO ASK FOR ONE

Depression is a disease that creates disconnection. Prevention is connection. That’s why connecting yourself, or even someone else, with help as fast as you can is critical. Once I admitted I was depressed, I reached out to my doctor for the best psychiatrist in Atlanta. Within hours I was sitting in his office. Within a day he gave me a plan to help me reconnect with the world. Addressing and healing depression takes many caring hands. In them, you can find hope as I did.

During a particularly uncomfortable time, I shared my fears with an Emory University colleague who had successfully battled depression. He asked me to write the following sentence on the front page of a book I was reading: The key is to remember that this is temporary. You will feel better. I carried that book everywhere and that message helped carry me. I worked on some little things that made a big difference. Walking and talking are underrated elixirs. Do them together and it can be magic.

Six weeks after my bout with depression, Cynthia and I were talking as we strolled through the mystical gardens of the Self-Realization Center in Los Angeles. Suddenly, I felt that the breeze from the wing of an angel had lifted me back into the light.

My family, physicians, and faith had healed me. When we returned home I got the mail, something I hadn’t done in more than a month. I found myself reading a Restoration Hardware catalog, thinking I was being restored. Powerful, indeed.

In the darkness I discovered aloneness. You can’t snap out of it or trick yourself into a happier place. There is only one way out. This is the time to break the glass, pull the emergency lever, and call for help. This is not the time to take yourself out of the world. The world needs you. When you are depressed, asking for a hand is not a handout, it’s a lifeline. Push together the words “heal thy self” and you get a healthy self.

BECOME A FRIEND OF THEIR EXCITEMENT

When we are down, there is nothing better than having a friend to lean on. It works the other way around, too. When we are up, there is nothing better than a friend to share the joy and lift you even higher. And nothing does that better than being a friend of someone’s excitement. That means don’t squash someone’s dream. Instead, give it wings.

On Cynthia’s fortieth birthday, we went to an Indigo Girls concert. I had made a sign that read “Sing Happy Birthday to Cynthia” with the hope that the band would lead five thousand people in song. They acknowledged the sign and announced, “We don’t have time to sing ‘Happy Birthday,’ but we are dedicating this concert to Cynthia.” The crowd roared with excitement. That’s how it feels when one person cheers for what you love.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, AND, OF COURSE, ACTION

Years ago while working at an advertising agency in New York City, I was told that having a window office mean you were really “something.” So I found an office with a window and moved in. I never asked anybody. And no one ever questioned me.

An old proverb reads, “When man plans, God laughs.” I don’t think God is laughing because people are making plans. I think God laughs because people make plans but fail to act.

When I owned my advertising agency, pitching new business was our lifeblood. If you were not winning accounts, you didn’t count. So I spent my time not just creating ads but creating experiences that would create new clients. I inundated our prospects with visits, correspondence, calls, and love for what they were all about.

When we pitched a coveted Bahamas business, we covered 40,000 square feet of our office space with sand. For a Trump Casinos pitch, we had all our desks removed and blackjack and roulette tables moved in. For a fast food pitch, I transported the whole team by bus to clear tables at the company’s flagship restaurant. For an African American–run airline, my partner and I bought a billboard across from his office window that read, “We Are the Right Brothers.”

One of the largest car brands in the world was uneasy about my agency because we had never had an automobile account. When the client walked into our boardroom he saw one of his company’s cars on the conference room table. Yep, on the table. We had disassembled it in the lobby and reassembled it thirty floors up to show them that we knew their product inside out.

My agency was one of dozens pitching the Del Taco Mexican restaurant chain account. Ultimately, it came down to two agencies—us and Them. “Them” was a monster agency twenty times our size and real mean. They had it all except one thing—us!

On the day of the pitch at Del Taco’s Dallas headquarters, both agencies brought creative work, a media plan, research documents, and a slew of people. But we had one more little surprise.

Our account people had learned that the Del Taco execs would be dining at a Mexican restaurant in Dallas after they reviewed the two pitches. As their food arrived, so did a mariachi band I’d flown in from Atlanta. Their opening number? “Cielito Lindo,” but with the refrain, “Aye, yai, yai, yai, hire Joey Reiman!” The song was a hit. And the account was ours.

People may doubt what you say, but they believe what you do. So we never, ever stopped doing. We won all those accounts and more—thirty-two out of thirty-five pitches in two years—winning hundreds of awards along the way.

LOL: LIVING OUT LOUD

Texting language is the craze. I want to propose a change to the acronym “LOL,” which stands for “laughing out loud.” I think it should mean “living out loud,” because when you live out loud, you express your 1,000-percent, unadulterated, whole self. If that happens you will be laughing out loud throughout your life. Here are some other abbreviations I like:

AM: action moment

PM: peaceful moment

TU: Thumbs Up

2TU: two thumbs up

HAND: have a nice day

TGFG: thank God for God

JUST DID IT

One of the most successful advertising campaigns in the world is the Nike sneakers tagline “Just Do It.” This may be the most enlightening message in marketing history. The company never talks about its product. The hero is the athlete who wears the shoes, taking the action the campaign honors.

We don’t need sneakers to make the leap to a better job or into a new field. You win by just doing it.

The suffering of Dr. Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela was relieved by their love for humankind. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs’ passion for their work helped them build a digital future from their garages. The Beatles wanted to hold your hand—and they did. Mother Teresa’s love of the poor enriched everyone she touched. Even Orville Redenbacher proved that if you love what you do, it isn’t corny. Even if its puns that you love.

BECOME AN ACTION HERO

“Look . . . up in the sky!” These words introduced Superman, who first appeared in a comic book in 1938. The words lifted heads toward the sky. Well, it works the same way at work. When your actions protect and help others, you become an action hero colleagues look up to.

Just like Superman, you have the power to transform from a mild-mannered civilian into a super hero. The Man of Steel acts in his own self-interest; by helping others, he is helping himself fulfill his destiny. What is your destiny? How will you use your strength to lift the world and help your associates march forth?

Action heroes are on a mission. They are not leaving this world until they leave a mark on it. These are their three superpowers:

         1.    Super strength: People who take action have herculean strength. They lift the world up.

         2.    The ability to fly: Joy is the result of helping others. My wife, Cynthia Good, has helped millions of women rise in their careers. She says that “care,” the first four letters in the word “career,” is her source of happiness.

         3.    Time travel: When you are on a mission, time is suspended. The clock ticks away, but what makes you tick knows no clock.

FROM POWERPOINT TO THE POINT OF POWER

I have been teaching business students for thirteen years how to move away from a PowerPoint to become the point of power. Slides are a distraction; the real attraction is you. Decks are not storytellers; you are. Stories are food for our brains. Without them, we could not function. With them, we become part of a bigger story.

Acting is one of the best actions you can take at work. Act out a story to make a point. New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast has developed an anatomy of a story in four parts: Once upon a time. Suddenly. Luckily. And happily ever after.

If you must use PowerPoint, try putting it in her appealing format. After a while, storytelling will come more naturally. And instead of your audience leaning back to check their phones, they will be leaning in to hear your every word.

ACTION IN LOVE

What would happen if you went to the soil and said, “Give me some fruit”?

The soil would respond, “Excuse me, but you’re a little confused. You must be new. That’s not how it works.” The soil would explain that first you need to plant the seed and then you nurture—you water, fertilize, and protect it. And if you do these things well, you will be rewarded in due time with fruit. Otherwise, you could ask the soil forever, but it wouldn’t change its way. You must keep giving and nurturing for the soil to bear fruit. Love grows the same way.

Love begins with loving yourself, with being good to your body, your mind, and your soul. Give yourself a hug right now. If that thought seems strange, that’s all the more reason to do it. Most of us have been denied the person we need the most—ourselves. We desperately need to reestablish this relationship so we know how to have a positive relationship with someone else.

The typical childhood view of love is either nurturing or abusive, one we typically carry well into adulthood. My rule is whoever does not nurture you abuses you. Now, keep in mind that no one has had a perfect childhood unless their parents were dogs. That’s as close to unconditional love as it gets. However, many people successfully resolve their past through self-exploration. Okay, you love yourself. Now you’re going to share it with the luckiest person in the world: the person who loves you.

Based on the staggering divorce rate in this country, I think it’s fair to say that most people react in their relationships rather than act. Here’s a common scenario. “He” is taken aback by the horrible things “she” said. Instead of rubbing her back and helping her understand why she said it, he becomes angry and defensive. According to family therapist Esther Perel, the result is that people end up arguing with mistaken assumptions rather than allowing the other person to explain.

Most reactions are visitors from the past. Fears disguised as thoughts that make people say, “Well, that’s just the way I am,” or “You don’t understand me.” But most of the time you really don’t understand you.

Action, on the other hand, means sharing your fears, dreams, and lives with one other. Action means sharing your soul. It also means having compassion and empathy for someone else. Being a friend of their excitement.

Love only works when we work on love. My twenty-four-year marriage is more than an act of love; it is taking actions 24/7 that grow that love. Psychologist and marriage counselor David Woodsfellow says that the number one predictor of a happy marriage is the willingness to be influenced. I asked him about the actions that supported this willingness. He offered four:

         1.    Listening

         2.    Understanding

         3.    Changing something

         4.    Knowing it’s for the good of the relationship

Taken together, the first letters of each rule spell luck. It’s a good way to remember how lucky we are to be in love and that the business of love never closes.

EMPATHY IS LOVE IN ACTION

Empathy is one of the keys to a great life. Empathy helps us stop judging and blaming others and understand them instead. Being empathetic to another person helps us see life through their lens, not just ours.

A friend told his fiancée that he wanted to share his life with her before they got married so he could see life through four eyes. Love is one of the ways to become more empathetic, which in turn nurtures love. This kind of love offers encouragement a heightened awareness and response to their needs. True love is when you truly see the other person. In this way, you both become a we, not two I’s.

SWINGING BACK INTO ACTION

Love isn’t only about looking into one another’s eyes; it’s about looking in the same direction. My dear friend and psychologist Dr. Arthur Cohen and his wife Lois bought a swing for their backyard and for their relationship. For them, the swing represents peace at home. They are still swinging after fifty-five years of marriage.

Inspired, Cynthia and I also purchased a swing. We found that the Cohens were right. Rocking back and forth with the one you love creates a calming cadence. It will take you back to Troy in the fifth century B.C., where the swing was created as the symbol of play to be enjoyed after the conquest of war. It works. Some days feel like a battle. A simple swing can swing your side to victory. Cynthia and I now have two.

Actions talk. How many times have you been in a restaurant and watched two people share a table without sharing conversation? Could the food be so good? Or maybe their parents said, “No talking at the dinner table”? Here’s a tip: If something is on your mind, spill the beans. Keeping it in or keeping your partner out will lead to heartburn and heartbreak. My mother used to say, “You are only as sick as your secrets.” She was right. There are so many people who feel shame regarding a sickness, an addiction, or an abuse. Don’t live with the injury. Share it with someone you trust.

WALK THE TALK

Talk about your life, your love, your children, your parents, your in-laws—just talk. Cynthia and I both have hectic schedules. Still, we meet at the same time and the same place every evening to share news about our jobs and to talk about how we’re doing as a couple. Give yourself a checkup. Check on your lover. Check on your kids. Check on your parents. Check up. Check in, but don’t check out.

Action in love also means demonstrating your love. Cynthia was a dedicated, determined, and dependable anchorwoman. She always got her story, and I knew she’d get this one.

In 1990, a report came over the wire about a pending drug bust in the penthouse of Atlanta’s tallest building. Cynthia and her camera crew rushed to the scene of the crime. Surrounding the building were squads of police cars with lights flashing and a Red Dog SWAT team with machine guns loaded.

At first they wouldn’t let Cynthia into the building, but like always, she persuaded them despite warnings that she was risking her life. Cynthia and a bulletproofed SWAT force took the elevator to the fiftieth floor, raced down the corridor, and broke through the door. But instead of finding a drug ring, she found me and an engagement ring.

She arrived thinking that she would get the “story of a lifetime.” What she didn’t know was that it would be her own.

HEALTH IN ACTION

Action leads to health. Inaction leads to hell. It’s that simple. Moving is the first step to improving your health.

When you take action, you take destiny into your own hands. Still, many people have trouble marching forth when it comes to their health. Men, including me, are the worst. My wife and executive assistant had to coerce me into going for my annual checkup. The last one was five years ago.

Baby steps are the key to maintaining good health. Get the facts, get support. Get your buddy, your secretary, or your family to help you take positive action.

Pick a day. Your birthday. Your anniversary. How about March 4th?

Alcohol is making the world see double. If you think you drink too much, you probably do. If you don’t have the courage to seek help, pick up a book on the “twelve steps.” In fact, even if you’ve never had a drink, you ought to read about the twelve-step program anyway. I’ve been told that regardless of your addiction, the program will have you dancing back into life instead of falling into the substance.

Overweight people ought to throw out their diets. They’re masochistic. Look at what the first three letters of diet spell: DIE. What heavy folks really need in their lives is more sugar—as in sweetness. The emptiness people feed with food can be fed with hobbies, movies, art classes, or yoga.

Most doctors agree that sugar is bad. So why not replace it with a different type of “sugar”? Hug yourself. Kiss the mirror. Tell yourself you’re loved. You want to lose weight without losing your mind? Then stop thinking about losing and start thinking about gaining. New friends. New interests. A new goal. The stuff that will ultimately satisfy you can’t be found in the fridge.

Exercise is action and it works. Moving at least three times a week allows you to enjoy three of life’s luxuries: eating, drinking, and lovemaking. You don’t have to bore yourself in the gym to burn. Dancing burns calories and puts you in the mood to take over the world. I try to dance at least once a day. Try it in your underwear at home with the music loud. And we’re told that walking is one of the best things you can do for yourself. All good health is based on a state of well-being, so it’s important to get motivated.

Now, get ready, because this might come as a shocker. Most people search all their lives for someone or something to get them motivated. A new hairdo. A new job. A new person. A new passion. A new way to live life. The irony is that you will never be motivated unless you take action first. Underline this: First you take action, then you get motivated. Not the other way around.

GOD IN ACTION

Perhaps the greatest action we can take is to move toward faith. It doesn’t matter what religion you are. It doesn’t even matter if you have a religion. What matters is believing. Faith is the only thing in the world that never changes.

When my hand was paralyzed after the car accident, the priest who came into my hospital room was surely heaven sent. Though I am Jewish, he prayed sincerely for me. I will never forget the feeling of faith I had as I fell asleep that night. Nor will I forget the feeling I had in my fingers the next morning. Though full recovery was more than a year away, I had experienced a miracle—faith. It is greater than any religion our world has to offer, because it is not of this world.

An interesting sidebar to this story is that I met a Jewish boy from Virginia in that Italian hospital who had suffered a ruptured appendix. While I was fortunate to have my mother by my side, his parents were not there. This sixteen-year-old was scared, so my mother and I took care of him. We gave him much-needed faith. When he was ready to leave, not knowing that I, too, was Jewish, he told me, “I never knew Christians were so loving.”

I said, “Thank you.”

When you give someone a hand, you are as close to being godlike as you can be in this lifetime, because your good deed is really God’s action. The more you give to others, the more divine you become. Marlo Thomas has spent a lifetime raising money and hope for the kids at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Her father, the legendary Danny Thomas, believed that there are two kinds of people in this world, the takers and the givers. He said, “The takers may eat a little better, but the givers sleep a little better.” Whether you use your hand to create a little garden, write a check to your favorite charity, or wipe away someone’s tears, no action is bigger or more sacred. It’s the little things we do that mean so much.

Action is the journey from know thyself to go thyself. For when a human being becomes a human doing, she or he can feel the real rapture of life. The beauty is that the doing need not be big. In fact, as the next chapter will show, a little goes a long way.