Chapter 14

What Is Your WHAT?—An Introduction

The ideal life is in our blood and never will be still. Sad will be the day for any man when he becomes contented with the thoughts he is thinking and the deeds he is doing—where there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger which he knows he was meant and made to do.

—Phillips Brooks

Some people call their WHAT a Gift from God. Some say they were born with their WHAT and never had any doubt about it. Others say it took them a long time to figure it out, but they finally know what their WHAT is. Still others have absolutely no idea, nor do they care, about the whole concept.

The WHAT I am referring to is the single most crucial element of your life that needs to be identified, defined, and fulfilled. Until your WHAT has been satisfied, you will roam the earth like an unsated vampire—constantly searching and forever thirsting.

Perhaps that's a bit dramatic, but your unfulfilled WHAT will absolutely affect you in a variety of unexpected ways. It could be the source of your high blood pressure, the reason why you don't feel “good enough,” the cause of your general sense of loathing when you wake up, or the impetus behind your efforts at self-sabotage.

Your WHAT can't be ignored. Until you unleash your WHAT and put it front and center for the world to benefit from, it will eat away at both your body and your emotional core.

The choice is yours. You can succumb to your WHAT's greatness and its power to elevate you to the heights of your true brilliance so you can achieve your destiny, or you can lie on your deathbed knowing you squandered your most sacred Gift.

So what exactly is your WHAT?

Your WHAT is the singular combination of your innate Gifts, the Vehicle you'll leverage to share your Gifts with the world, and serving the specific audiences who'll benefit most from your Gifts. It's what comes most naturally to you, is part of your inherent blueprint, and you'd happily do without being paid a cent. When you're engaged in your WHAT, time flies by and there's nothing else you'd rather be doing.

Your WHAT reflects who you were born to be and guides you towards realizing the impact you were predestined to have on this and future generations.

Inseparable from who you are, your WHAT is your gift.

If you honor, heed, and use it wisely, it's also your gift to the world.

The WHAT Conundrum

Many on the mission of discovering and sharing their WHAT make the mistake of confusing what it is they were born to do with what it is they are currently doing. Rarely are these the same thing. Too often people forge a self-containing trench by seeking to satisfy the requirements of others, creating products and services that address the needs of their chosen market.

This is very different from fulfilling the requirements of what you need and then leveraging your Gift to serve others.

This was the case for Dr. Pierre, a member of my private coaching group, The Circle of 10 (Circleof10.com). For more than 20 years, she provided consulting services to senior and C-level executives who sought concrete solutions to their operational struggles. She was well respected and very good at her trade. However, business had begun to slow, and she suddenly lacked the enthusiasm required to reignite her practice.

She joined The Circle and we began working together. As we dove deep into identifying her WHAT, she continually provided answers that reflected her current work. As I challenged her to eliminate the elevator pitch and focus on the calling of her soul, the pieces slowly began to shift. While her Gifts (Intuitive, Creative Strategist) and Vehicles (Consulting, Speaking) remained constant, the people she is most compelled to serve took a dramatic turn.

For weeks (and before we met, decades), she'd continually fought to deny who she inherently is, and sought to maintain the path she'd created to serve executives seeking corporate transformation. Eventually, however, it became clear these are not the executives she is driven to serve. Instead, her WHAT compels her to lead executives toward creating game-changing initiatives, either within or outside of their company, which provide significant benefit to society. Pursuing this focus will empower her to effect positive generational impact for millions which is exactly what she was born to do.

Discovering your WHAT is not for the meek. You have to be ready to accept it and not everyone is. Even in my workshops, many who claim to seek their WHAT maintain a Kung-Fu grip on who they've defined themselves to be.

What's deeply satisfying to me are those who wake up from a life-long slumber, discover their WHAT, and never look back.

This can be the result of an epiphany, a life-changing encounter, or a cry of frustration along the lines of Popeye's immortal, “That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more.”

Andrea R., another member of The Circle, hit the wall at age 60. In her words, “I've been pretending for all of these decades I wasn't this person. Who I was reflected what everyone wanted me to be. It took me far too long to realize that I am the solution to someone else's problem.”

This is profound, and bears repeating—“I am the solution to someone else's problem.”

Similar to Edward Lorenz's Butterfly Effect, consider how withholding your WHAT may prevent someone from being affected by you—who then fails to affect the lives of millions of others.

Embracing the notion that your WHAT has been planted within you for not only your own good but the betterment of others is a key paradigm shift in your process of reinvention.

Ultimately, your WHAT isn't about you…it's about those you're compelled to serve.

The simple act of freely sharing yourself is the most precious gift of all. No matter how innocuous you may feel your actions are, remember that even a small pebble dropped in the middle of a large body of water creates ripples that eventually reach the shore.

Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” You have the power to permanently alter the world.

Start now.

The Four Types of People

There are four paths that lead toward discovering and sharing your WHAT with the world—and four kinds of people.

In this exercise, you will:

• Identify into which of the four groups you fit best
• Make a conscious choice about what to do with this knowledge
• Improve upon, maintain, adjust, and/or eliminate your behavior

The groups to choose from are described in the next four sections.

Birthers

Birthers are clear on what they've been born to do from a very early age. They seldom have a shadow of a doubt about what their unique Gifts are. Regardless of circumstance, their WHAT remains their guiding force. They may slide off course at times, but their WHAT always brings them back to their core.

Birthers quickly crack the code of how to make ends meet pursuing their WHAT. Many earn a substantial living. Birthers are completely unapologetic for the character traits they display, are often leaders, and can appear aloof because they think and behave differently from the crowd.

Fiercely independent and intolerant of excuse-driven existences, Birthers are incredibly loyal cheerleaders for those on the path to becoming who they were born to be but can be critical and irritating to those who aren't.

Relationships with Birthers involve deep, emotional ties leading to incredible closeness, or alienation that results in separate paths being pursued.

Examples of Birthers include musicians such as Paul McCartney, athletes such as LeBron James, and scientists such as Stephen Hawking.

Shifters

A Shifter seeks the missing link preventing her from creating an exceptional life. She's so close to nailing her WHAT equation that she can almost reach out and touch it, but there's one piece of the puzzle that's off-kilter.

Her problem might be focusing on the wrong Gift; choosing the wrong Vehicle to share her Gift; or choosing the wrong audience to serve.

The shift needed for this kind of person to find her WHAT is subtle—a minor tweak that will make all the difference.

Shifters can drive others batty with their obsession for a more meaningful life, but they can also be inspiring as they demand to fulfill their destinies. Shifters tend to be avid readers, continual students who seek further knowledge, bloggers, and/or media consumers.

Shifters tend to be extremely giving, happy to share their knowledge, and among the first to help others in need.

An example of a Shifter is Carol S. of Miller Beach, Indiana. Carol had been a nurse for more than 30 years when she attended The Reinvention Workshop. Though she loved her job, there was always a missing element of Carol's WHAT equation that nagged at her and kept her from attaining full peace and prosperity.

After a brief discussion and reviewing her equation, there was little doubt she was on target with her Gifts—Teaching and Healing; and the Vehicle she leveraged to share her Gifts with the world—Nursing. However, she was unclear about the specific audience who'd benefit most from her Gifts. Historically, she accepted whatever nursing opportunities were available, as opposed to knowing, and pursuing, a nursing environment that best jelled with her guiding forces. So while she'd been a respected nurse at a general hospital for more than three decades, she felt uninspired by her work.

Before long, we figured out that Carol is most compelled to serve the disadvantaged elderly. This was a far cry from who she was currently serving, so the disconnect was apparent.

Within months Carol landed a position at a facility that serves the disadvantaged elderly. Her life has changed dramatically for the better.

Reinventors

Reinventors are a rare breed. While few have the courage, determination, and will to become the person they were meant to be, Reinventors are ready to turn their lives completely upside down to bring their ideal life to fruition and monumentally impact the world.

A Reinventor's path is often tumultuous, though, as he seeks to move beyond his continual inner turmoil of living in denial about, or failing to pursue, who he inherently is. Before and during his transition, it's not unusual for a Reinventor to appear high-strung, emotional, out of sorts, and possibly depressed.

When his WHAT comes to light, however, look out. A Reinventor will then operate like a giant boulder rolling downhill, obliterating anything in his path until he's reached his goals.

It's common for Reinventors to push to the wayside anyone who tries to persuade them to hold onto the past and maintain the status quo.

An example of a Reinventor is Dr. Joe Amoia, who was described in the Introduction and whose WHAT appears at the end of this chapter. Joe successfully transitioned from being a full-time, well-compensated chiropractor with his own practice to becoming known as the Smarter Dating Guy, a dating and relationship strategist who coaches single women to find love.

Reinventors have little problem making a 180° transformation from who the world knew them to be to who they actually are.

Wanderers

I estimate over 90 percent of people are Wanderers. This isn't meant to be derogatory. It simply defines those who fit into one or more of these categories:

• Are unaware of the Gifts they've been granted
• Have been failed by society and were never taught how to tap into their unique blueprint
• Are reluctant to explore the depths of their soul due to fear, guilt, or insufficient self-esteem
• Couldn't care less about this whole concept

This does not imply that Wanderers are complacent or self-destructive.

After numerous presentations to young adults in low-income communities, audiences full of the unemployed, down-sized C-level executives, and those who can barely stand showing up at their place of employment, it's become glaringly apparent to me that most people never receive the information and encouragement needed to discover their WHAT.

This view is reinforced by the fact that when I give these audiences the choice of continuing to make ends meet by working at a job they loathe or cultivating a career they love, they unanimously choose the latter.

A possible solution is to revamp the often flawed, outdated curriculum that plagues our schools and to adequately prepare children for life. Another is to provide adults with widespread access to the necessary tools for reinvention.

Fear, on the other hand, is not as easy to fix.

Dealing with Fear

Fear—of failure, being embarrassed, losing money, not receiving the approval of others—these are just some of the reasons I repeatedly hear from those resisting their WHAT.

In contrast, my biggest fear is that when I die and meet our creator—in whatever form—I'll be told, “Son, I gave you a Gift. Because you selfishly kept your Gift within and failed to better the lives of others, you will spend eternity THERE.” And THERE looks very unpleasant complete with fire and brimstone.

Alternatively, I hope to meet our creator with my heart beaming with joy and fulfillment, and be told, “Son, I gave you a Gift. Because you cherished and developed your Gift and shared your talents with as many as you could, you will spend eternity HERE.” And HERE looks very pleasant complete with soft clouds and harp-playing angels.

Whatever your fears are, they are absolutely surmountable. If pursuing your WHAT is truly important to you, you'll find the solutions to overcome any self-created barriers.

Consider my acronym for FEAR:

Forget Everything About Reality

You can never be sure what'll happen when you embark on a new path. No matter how many scenarios you envision, the chances are things won't go as well as hoped for or as poorly as you're afraid they might. However, to deny yourself and others your inherent Gifts is a sure-fire formula for mediocrity.

Identify which group best describes you—Birthers, Shifters, Reinventors, or Wanderers—and use your knowledge to move closer to your WHAT.

Chasing Versus Creating the Opportunity

As you pursue sharing and monetizing your WHAT, try to avoid money-driven ventures that fail to stir your soul. Instead, focus on opportunities that inspire you to jump out of bed each morning while providing you with peace and prosperity.

It's common to devote years of your life to something you have no love for and wake up a decade later wondering what the heck happened. Pursuing money-driven ventures is an unsustainable model. Whether it's a year, five years, or two decades from now, at some point the expiration date will arrive.

Having a substantial impact on the world doesn't require you to create the next wheel. You simply have to find something you love…and paint it your own color.

Your WHAT Is Waiting

Identifying your WHAT usually isn't easy. But there are three simple ways you can begin facilitating this quest.

Schedule Time to Learn about Yourself

Devote focused, quiet time to identifying your WHAT. Sometimes, this is all it takes. It's a good idea to set aside a part of each day to get in touch with yourself and explore what makes you tick.

This can be done in many ways. Some people find meditation or yoga to be effective in starting inner dialogues. Others prefer a quiet walk in a park or time spent in a place of worship.

Whatever is the right approach for you, begin scheduling time to do it. If you've never tried this before, you'll soon realize that taking time out to listen to your inner self is one of the most valuable and satisfying things you can do.

Let Go of Denial

As explained in Chapter 5, you may have drifted so far from The Pinnacle that your life scarcely reflects your core identity. You may have even convinced yourself that you're a whole other person.

If the true you is buried beneath the emotional rubble of the past, it's time to dig deep and rescue it.

Explore why you've chosen to deny yourself, and everyone else, the Gift of who you really are; then do everything you can to become who you were born to be.

Vigorously Explore Your Past

When you were a toddler, you explored the world with unabashed curiosity. If you saw something that was of interest, you'd be immediately drawn to it and pursue it unreservedly, without any worry about looking silly or concern for what others thought.

Then you started being told “no.” This was usually for your own good, such as the time you thought the oven was a TV.

Perhaps you loved to paint, and all of your paints were blue because that was your favorite color. Meanwhile, Mommy had a favorite color too—white, like her prized carpet.

One day, your blue paint met the white carpet—and it wasn't a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup moment when chocolate meets peanut butter and everyone's happy. Instead, you got yelled at and punished. Instinctively, you associated art with pain and buried that aspect of yourself to the nether regions never to be heard from by anyone again…including you.

As you grew, you learned to avoid being told “no” and getting yelled at by taking fewer chances. This resulted in only pursuing activities you were confident would garner approval. At some critical point, this may have led you to deny your true self and your natural Gifts.

If you believe this happened, think back and identify the point in your life when you took the wrong turn in the road.

Then reclaim your proper path and give yourself a second chance to live your WHAT. This chapter begins the process of understanding and discovering your WHAT. To continue your journey, proceed to Chapter 15.