Welcome again, fellow sensation-seekers, to yet another book introduction. If you've read my previous books, you know how I feel about these things. This is the point in the book where I stand like Mr. Roarke at the start of every episode of Fantasy Island, raise my margarita glass in a welcoming toast, and hope like hell that you're not looking around at the caliber of your fellow guests (typically: Anson Williams and Barbi Benton) and feeling like you've just been profoundly ripped off.
Yes, it's where I explain Myself. There's a good chance that you're leafing through this book at a major retailer, or at a friend's house. The book pulses with a certain resonance of destiny, and it's available at attractive prices, but should you follow your heart?
Well, it depends on what your heart is telling you. If your heart is telling you, "I should just stroll off with it," then I urge you to bring a couple of other organs in on the conference call.
Your wrists, for instance, will have much to say. It remembers the time your older brother snapped those novelty handcuffs on them and then "forgot" where he left the key. your feet report that they will do their best to propel you out of the store or your friend's house well ahead of any pursuers, but nonetheless they don't feel as though they should speak for the knees, which would need to be ready for a great deal of praying and begging, should worse come to worst.
But why am I talking nonsense? your moral compass is so powerful that it can be used for street navigation. you understand how important it is that I buy a plasma tv that's so large I could serve dinner for six on it. And not for my own distraction, you understand. My dear mother doesn't like to pry but she does appreciate these little tangible reminders that my writing career is going well.
Besides, why steal, when this bookstore has so many plush, comfy chairs, and a full coffee bar? And if you ask to borrow this book from your friend instead of swiping it, well, that's a built-in excuse to get together again, isn't it? Perhaps you could buy this friend a dinner, in gratitude? It's these small touches that reinforce the gossamer threads that keep our grand Society together.
Also, if you happen to dribble salsa all over it, you'll have to do the right thing and replace it. So that's the copy you bought for yourself plus the replacement copy plus the friend's original copy. This will put me well on my way towards sliding a Blu-ray player underneath the tv. With a full high-def setup in my living room, maybe Mom won't be shy about setting me up with her friend's daughter, the periodontist. She's damned cute and my gums would no longer lack for caring attention.
And yes, I mean it that way, as well.
But an Introduction isn't merely here to help hook me up with a dental professional. It's also here to tell you a bit about the book in general.
A good pal recently gave me a 1910 book on housekeeping and its introduction truly is a world-beater. With just a couple of easy search-and-replaces it'll work perfectly for iPhone Fully Loaded:
"This book is designed to help the intelligent (iPhone or iPod touch user) of limited means who looks upon the (usage of said device) as one worthy of her best efforts, and who fully realizes that the business of (having a kick-ass phone) is the most important as well as the most complicated business in the world. Between the covers of this book she will fnd an extensive and eminently practical fund of (iPhone and iPod touch) information upon which she can draw, almost without limit, to meet the various (iPhone and iPod touch) problems that inevitably present themselves from year to year. The table of contents is a convincing argument as to the value of this work. The compiler has taken much pleasure in preparing it, and bespeaks for it a kindly welcome and hearty appreciation in thousands and thousands of (worldwide) homes."
There you go. Sets the stage nicely. Also: It's in the public domain.
Like the other books in my Fully Loaded series, the purpose of this book is not to give you a ground-up explanation of how the iPhone works. The philosophy of this series has always been that there are already plenty of books out there that teach you the usual stuff. This book won't teach you how to confgure your iPhone for push e-mail. Nor will it show you how to purchase music from the itunes Store. I refuse to explain that if you hold your finger on the virtual keyboard's Symbols key and drag it across instead of tapping, the QWERTY keyboard will automatically return after you lift your finger above the symbol you wanted to enter, thus saving you a couple of taps.
Oh. I just did. Well, that's a freebie.
No, the goal of Fully Loaded has always been to look upon a device like the iPhone as an empty vessel that you can fll to the brim with every type of material you need or want in your personal or professional life. The iPhone is a pretty damned scary-crazy-nice bit of tech, but just because the manual says nothing about syncing youtube videos on it, or storing Microsoft office documents, or converting your e-mails into podcasts that you can listen to during your morning commute doesn't mean that you can't do any of those things with it.
And it also doesn't mean that the standard methods in the standard books necessarily represent the best way to do things.
So what does it mean? Well, it means that there's a certain knack to getting the full potential out of your iPhone. And my honorable and trusty friend — if you did in fact steal this book despite my call to your higher nature, obviously I'm not talking to you, here — you can call me Doug fieger.
Doug fieger. you know? founder and lead singer for The knack? "My Sharona" — that was probably their biggest hit.
Okay, that's not really important. The point is that if you're looking for the basic stuff that you can either get from any other book or from just fooling around with your iPhone for a week, this isn't the book for you.
This book is for people who want someone to ask them, "Wait ... how did you get Raiders of the Lost Ark on your iPhone? That movie isn't in the itunes store!" with incredulous eyes and trembling hands that daren't touch the hem of your robe for fear of being reduced to ash by the awesome power bottled within your corporeal form.
Oh, and if you own an iPod touch instead of an iPhone ... jump right in, the water's just fine. Not everything in this book will apply to you but you'll fnd that any technique or trick that relies on the Music, video, or Photo viewers on your iPod, or on the Safari browser, or on third-party apps, will work just fine. That's a pretty big chunk of the book.
I think I've said everything I wanted to say here. Let's get started. Final words:
If you're reading this in a bookstore, I think you'll wind up buying the book if you read Chapter 4, "Ripping DvDs" and Chapter 20, "Putting terabytes Worth of files on your iPhone." All this stuff is good, but those two will quickly convince you that your money's well spent.
If you're reading this because you spotted it on a friend's bookshelf, you should compliment this friend on his or her fine taste. If it's a dating situation, that'll put you in good. If it's a friendship situation, it might lay the groundwork for getting this person to lend you something way more valuable. In the meantime, tear out the aforementioned two chapters when the friend is distracted. They're some of the most useful bits of the book, so the person is bound to buy a new copy. Plus you'll read them at home and buy a copy of your own. two more royalties for Andy. Awesome: I'm on my way to a Wii console as well.
If you're reading this because you're robbing some dude's house: Police response time is typically about two and a half minutes. So take the book and go, already. I've just googled for information on alarm codes and it seems that the default disarm password for the two most popular home security systems are 2287 and 1111.
Just remember who your friends are. Maybe you could tear out those chapters and leave the book and the chapters in the next two houses you rob? Again, I'm convinced that your next victims will be so taken by the incomplete book that they'll both buy fresh copies.
Which will work out well for you, too, because remember, my house will soon contain a 72-inch plasma HDtv, a Blu-ray player, and a Wii ... which means that I'll fnally have stuff worth stealing.
Okay. I did say this book is not your regular how-to for using the iPhone. And I meant it. But every once in a while I need to give you instructions in the computerese that the iPhone, Mac OS, and Windows use.
On those very rare occasions, here's what I mean when I talk about using the mouse or the touchpad on the iPhone or iPod touch:
The commands that you select with the mouse (or touch) by using the program menus appear in this book in normal typeface. When you choose some menu commands, a related pull-down menu or a pop-up menu appears. If I describe a situation in which you need to select one menu and then choose a command from a secondary menu or list box, I use an arrow symbol. For example, "Choose Edit
Okay, that's everybody. yoiks and away.