2.   Examine Your Priorities

What matters the most to you? The answer to this question is highly important because if your priorities are clear and you stay in touch with them, many decisions that would otherwise be tough will be quite easy for you.

For example, let’s suppose your family means the most to you. What happens when you must choose between working all weekend and attending your child’s birthday party? If your priorities are clear, that’s a no-brainer. It’s also a no-brainer if missing work would seriously threaten your job and thus your ability to support your family.

But what if missing work would be more a threat to your popularity at work than to your job? In such a case, you would have to be honest with yourself and get in touch with your priorities. What’s more important to you—being popular at work or being there for your children? Again, a no-brainer.

Of course, you might try to figure out a way to get your work done and attend the party. What if you got up at 3 a.m., worked like a dog, and then joined the celebration? You wouldn’t get much sleep, but what’s more important to you—getting sleep this weekend or meeting your work obligations and being with your child? Another no-brainer.

You also might consider the possibility of “faking it,” making it look like you were at work or stopping by the party to make an appearance. This option, too, should signal a priority alert: what’s more important to you— being genuine, and truly meeting your obligations, or “looking good” to others, and getting away with doing less? Yet another no-brainer.

Again, if your priorities are clear and you keep those priorities in mind, choices like these will not be so difficult to make.

The next time somebody asks you to do something that you don’t want to do but feel compelled to do, ask yourself:

Am I considering this because it really matters to me—though it may be difficult or inconvenient or interfere with other things I need to do—or because I want to be popular with this person?”

Or, the next time you find yourself procrastinating about something that you really need to get done, ask yourself:

Are all the things I keep doing more important than the things I really need to do? Do they matter more to me? Or are they just easier, more fun, or more convenient?

Once you clarify your priorities, make sure they come first in every decision you make from now on. Don’t forget: Put your priorities first.