BECOME AN EXPERT
IN HUMAN RELATIONS

THE ABILITY TO RELATE WELL TO PEOPLE has always been important, but in the new economy, this ability is more important than ever before. Remember, other people are your only anchors in today’s fluid world. Everyone may be in constant motion, but human relations can be built and sustained, and they constitute a vital element of success.

Here are eight rules of human relations by which to live and work:

1.   Be a model of trust.

2.   Remove your ego.

3.   Listen carefully.

4.   Empathize with people.

5.   Exhibit respect and kindness.

6.   Speak up and make yourself understood.

7.   Be a motivator.

8.   Celebrate the success of others.

Let’s take a closer look.

 1 BE A MODEL OF TRUST

Take personal responsibility for everything you say and do, hold yourself accountable, and never fall back on excuses when you make a mistake—instead, apologize and make every effort to fix the mistake.

 2 REMOVE YOUR EGO

Don’t take yourself too seriously, but always take your obligations seriously. Extend personal vulnerability, but never undermine your credibility. Be honest and open.

 3 LISTEN CAREFULLY

Never interrupt when someone is speaking, and don’t let your mind wander. Stay focused on what the other person is saying. When it’s your turn to speak, first ask open-ended questions such as “What do you mean?” or “What would be a good example of that?” Listen carefully to the answers. Then, to ensure you understand what the person has said, ask specific, clarifying questions such as “Do you mean [clearly say what you think the person means]?” or “Are you saying [clearly say what you think the other person is saying]?” When you feel confident you understand, don’t change the subject; instead, respond directly to what has been said.

 4 EMPATHIZE WITH PEOPLE

Try to imagine yourself in the other person’s position. Ask yourself what thoughts and feelings you might have if you were in that position. Then behave in a way and say the kinds of things that you would appreciate under the same circumstances.

 5 EXHIBIT RESPECT AND KINDNESS

Take courtesy the extra mile. If you think the person is pressed for time, be brief. If you think something might be wrong, ask if there is anything you can do to help (but don’t be pushy). Never share observations that might be insulting, and never hesitate to share a compliment.

 6 SPEAK UP AND MAKE YOURSELF UNDERSTOOD

If you don’t say what’s on your mind, you’ll have virtually no chance of connecting with people, getting them to share your interests, influencing their thoughts, or persuading them to do things your way. Of course, sometimes it helps to hold back for a quiet moment and clarify for yourself what really is on your mind. If it’s something that ought to be shared, take an extra moment to decide which words and actions would most effectively get your message across.

 7 BE A MOTIVATOR

Visualize positive results. Be enthusiastic and share your positive vision. Never speak of a problem unless you have thought of at least one potential solution.

 8 CELEBRATE THE SUCCESS OF OTHERS

Always give people credit for their achievements, no matter how small those achievements might be. And go out of your way to catch people doing things right.

Now try out

the following exercise.