Chapter 3

Kids and the Internet

In This Chapter

Recognizing good and not-so-good ways that kids use the Internet

Getting wise to some concerns about the Internet

Working up parental guidelines for using the Internet

Looking at the Internet in schools

Face it: Most kids are way more comfortable on the Internet than their parents (and grandparents) are. Schools assign kids to do research on the web and email information to other students or their teachers. Online games are designed for kids of all ages. Forbidding your kids from using the Net altogether is hopeless (unless they’re younger than about 6), but you want to keep your kids safe. This chapter talks about what’s great — and what’s scary — about children and youth using the Internet.

With millions of kids online, a discussion about family Internet use is critical. (Obviously, if this isn’t your concern, just skip this chapter and go to another one.)

Really Cool Ways Kids Use the Net

The Net is amazing. It can help kids do the things they have to do (like homework) as well as what they want to do:

• Research homework assignments: The Internet is an incredible way to expand the walls of a school. The Net can connect kids to libraries, research resources, museums, other schools, and other people. Kids can visit the American Museum of Natural History for information about anthropology and other natural sciences (at www.amnh.org) and the Sistine Chapel (w2.vatican.va/content/vatican/en.html as of when we wrote this chapter, although web pages can move at any time); they can watch spotted newts in their native habitat; they can hear new music and make new friends; or they can learn about the history of computing (as shown in Figure 3-1). These days, many schools assume that kids have access to the web, so parents had better be ready.

  

• Make friends in other countries: School projects such as the Global Schoolhouse (GSH) connect kids around the world by working collaboratively on all types of projects. Its annual cyber fairs have brought together more than 500,000 students from hundreds of schools in at least 37 countries! Kids can find out more at the Global SchoolNet website, www.globalschoolnet.org.
• Practice foreign languages: Kids can visit online chat rooms, where they can try out their French, Spanish, Portuguese, Russian, Japanese, or even Esperanto.
• Pay for downloaded music: Kids love music, and they can buy music over the Internet in several ways. (Adults can too, as it turns out.) The Apple iTunes music store, at www.apple.com/itunes, sells songs for about 99 cents. Other sites, such as www.pandora.com, let you create your own “radio station” that plays music you like. See Chapter 14 for details.
• Write an encyclopedia article: Wikipedia, at en.wikipedia.org, is a free online encyclopedia that anyone can contribute to. It’s a useful research tool, but, even better, kids can add the material they found while researching those term papers to make Wikipedia even better. A worldwide team of volunteer writers and editors updates the material continually, and you — or your child! — can be one of them. (See Chapter 20 to find out what wikis are.)
• Put your own pictures, music, or other stuff on the web: A website can be as clever or as stupid as you like. You and your kids can post your stories or artwork for family and friends to admire. We explain how to do these things in Part V.

When you or your kids search for a topic, you may see pages written by the world’s greatest authority on that topic, some crackpot pushing a harebrained theory, a college kid’s term paper, a guy on a bulletin board who thinks he’s an expert, or, more likely, all of the above. Some websites are maintained by hate groups and push truly nasty venom. Learning how to identify all these types of information is one of the most valuable skills that children (or anyone else) can acquire.

So-So Ways Kids Use the Net

Here are some ideas that adults might consider a waste of time, but hey, we can’t be serious all the time:

• Play games: Many popular games (both traditional — such as chess, bridge, hearts, and go — and video) have options that let kids compete against other players on the Internet. See the sidebar “Games on the web.”
• Hang out with friends: The Facebook website (see Chapter 10) allows people to share their thoughts, photos, videos, and random comments. Many teenagers appear to live on Facebook.
• Talk on a videophone: Thanks to software such as Google Hangouts and Skype, kids can see their friends while talking to them (not recommended on bad hair days). Chapter 12 talks about free video programs.
• Shop: What can we say? Internet shopping is like shopping at the mall, except that the Internet is always open and you don’t have to hunt for a parking place. Kids can sell stuff too. Chapter 15 gets you started.

Not-So-Good Ways Kids Use the Net

Make sure that your kids or grandkids stay away from the following ideas, which will just get them into trouble, some of it serious:

• Plagiarism: That’s the fancy word for passing off other people’s work as your own. Plagiarizing from the Internet is just as wrong as plagiarizing from a book — and is (for that matter) a lot easier for teachers to catch because teachers can use search engines, too.
• Bullying: Your kids are undoubtedly hearing a lot about online bullying at school, and it’s important. In the old days, unpopular kids could get away from their oppressors at home; now the Internet and kids making fun of them follow them everywhere.
• Cheating: Using translating software to do language homework is also no good. Besides, automated translations still no substitute for the real thing are not being.
• Revealing too much personal information: When chatting on the Net with people your kids don’t know, they might be tempted to give out identifying information about themselves or your family, but it’s dangerous — doing so can get your kids stalked, ripped off, or worse. Even revealing their email addresses can invite unwanted junk mail. Some seemingly innocent questions that strangers ask online aren’t so innocent, so we go into more detail later in this chapter about what to watch for.
• Sharing commercial music and videos: Now that kids can easily buy music online, they don’t have much excuse for using file sharing software to trade music or videos without permission. The music and movie industries are getting better at finding people who do that — and are taking legal action against them. It can cost you a lot of money.
• Visiting porn and hate sites: This advice is between you and your kids. Parents should make clear rules about what types of websites are acceptable, post the rules near the computer, and stick to them.
• Pretending to be someone else online: Kids should make up pseudonyms so that they don’t have to use their real names. (This strategy can be one way to limit how much any stranger finds out.) But, pretending that you’re a talent agent for American Idol or the latest reality show looking for a date is a bad idea.
• Hanging out in adult chat rooms: If kids pretend to be older than they are, they can get themselves and the chat room hosts into trouble.
• Letting the Internet take over your life: If the only thing your kids want to do after school is get online, it’s time to set some limits. (Ditto for you and your work!)

Truly Brain-Dead Things Kids Should Never Do

Here are some ideas that kids should never consider because they can lead directly into major trouble:

• Meet online friends in person without telling a parent: If a child or youth meets someone online and wants to meet that person face-to-face, it’s fine — maybe. But parents need to take precautions! First, make sure that your kid tells you about the meeting so that you can decide together how to proceed. Second, no one (child, youth, or adult) should ever meet an online friend in a private place: Always arrange to meet in a public place, such as a restaurant. Finally, go to the meeting with your child, in case they have been completely misled. (You can lurk discreetly nearby, so bring a book.)
• Do anything illegal — online or off: The Internet feels totally anonymous, but it’s not. If kids or adults commit a crime, the police can get the Internet connection records from your Internet service provider (ISP) and find out who was connected over which modem on which day and at what time with which numeric Internet (IP) address, and they’ll find you.
• Break into other computers or create viruses: This little escapade might have been considered a prank back in the 1980s, but the authorities have long since lost their sense of humor about it. Kids have gone to jail for it.

The Internet and Little Kids

We are strong advocates of allowing kids to be kids, and we believe that humans are better teachers than computers are. Now that you know our predisposition, maybe you can guess what we’re going to say next: We are not in favor of sticking a young child in front of a screen. How young is too young? We believe that younger than age 5 is too young. At young ages, kids benefit more from playing with trees, balls, clay, crayons, paint, mud, monkey bars, bicycles, other kids, and especially older siblings. Computers make lousy babysitters. If your young children use computers, choose their programs and websites carefully, and limit their screen time.

We think that Internet access is more appropriate for somewhat older kids (fourth or fifth grade and older), but your mileage may vary. Even so, we think it’s a good idea to limit the amount of time that anyone, especially a kid, spends online. We (despite our good looks) have been playing with computers for over 40 years (each), and we know what happens to kids who are allowed to stay glued to their computers for unlimited lengths of time. Trust us: It is not good. Do you remember those old sayings “You are what you eat” and “Garbage in, garbage out”? What your brain devours makes a difference.

As human beings (what a concept), kids need to be able to communicate with other human beings. Too often, kids who have difficulty doing this prefer to get absorbed in computers — which doesn’t help develop their social skills. Existing problems in this department grow worse, leading to more isolation. If you’re starting to feel like your child is out of touch and you want to put the machine in its place (and maybe even encourage your child to get her life back), here are some quick self-defense tips:

• Keep a private log of all the time your child spends in front of the screen during one week. Then ask your child whether this is really how she wants to spend her life.
• Keep your kids’ computers in public places, like living rooms and dens, so what kids do with them is visible to the family. Keep your kids’ smartphones charging overnight in your bedroom, so they don’t intrude on your children’s sleep.
• Help your child find a hobby that doesn’t involve a screen. Encourage him to join a team, form a band, or create some artwork.
• Have your child set aside one computer-free day every week.
• Make your child have meals and conversations with live human beings (that would be you and the rest of your family), face-to-face, in real time.

Surf Safe

Make sure your kids or grandkids know the safety rules for using the Net. Here are some basic guidelines for your kids to start with:

• Never reveal exactly who you are. Your child should use only his first name and shouldn’t provide a last name, an address, a phone number, or the name of his school.
• Never, ever, tell anyone your password. No honest person or organization will ever ask you or your kid for it.
• Be suspicious of strangers who seem to know a lot about you. Maybe they say they’re a friend of yours (the parent) who is supposed to pick up your kid after school or pick up a package from your house. Make sure your kid knows to never go with a stranger or let one into the house without asking a trusted (offline) adult first.

Here are a few more guidelines to help kids sidestep online trouble:

• Think before you give your email address to anybody. Many websites ask users to register, and many sites require users to provide working email addresses that they verify by sending confirmation messages. Before you let your child register with a website, make sure that it’s run by a reputable company from which you won’t mind getting junk mail.
• Never agree to talk to someone on the phone or meet someone in person without checking it out with a parent first. Most people a kid can meet online are okay, but a few creepy types out there have made the Internet their hunting ground.
• Don’t assume that people are telling you the truth. That “kid” who says he’s your kid’s age and gender and seems to share your child’s interests and hobbies may in reality be a lonely 40-year-old. If your kids have younger siblings, impress upon them how important it is to watch out for the safety of their younger “sibs.” They may not understand what a stranger is and may believe that everything people tell them online is always true.
• If someone is scaring you or making you uncomfortable — especially if the person says not to tell your parents — tell your parents. If something bothers your child, make sure she knows to ask you to talk to your Internet service provider. Remind your kid that she can always turn off the computer.

Sell, Sell, Sell!

When you spend a lot of time online, you soon notice that everyone seems to be trying to sell you something. Kids, particularly those from middle- and upper-income families, are a lucrative target market, and the Net is being viewed as another way to capture this market.

Targeting kids for selling isn’t new. Remember Joe Camel of the Camel cigarette campaign that was aimed at kids? Some schools make students watch Channel One, a system that brings advertising directly to the classroom. If you watch TV, you know how TV programs for kids push their own lines of toys and action figures.

Kids should know that big company marketing departments have designed kid-friendly, fascinating, captivating software to help them better market to you. Delightful, familiar cartoon characters deftly elicit strategic marketing information directly from the keyboard in your home.

You should be aware of this situation and know what to do when someone on the web is asking your kids for information. If your kids have access to credit cards, yours or their own, they can spend big bucks over the Internet. Beware of online stores where you have configured your web browser to remember your passwords, because your kids will be able to waltz right in and start buying. And, your kids should be aware that if they spend your money online without permission, they’re going to get into big trouble for it.

The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) limits the information that companies can collect from children under 13 (or at least children who admit they’re under 13) without explicit parental consent — which, by the way, we think parents should rarely give. We heard of one marketer who said he wanted to use the Net to create personal relationships with all the kids who use his product. Ugh. We have names for guys who want relationships with kids, and they’re not nice names.

The FTC (www.onguardonline.gov/articles/0031-protecting-your-childs-privacy-online) has more useful information for teachers about COPPA and online privacy that is useful for parents, too.

Who’s Online?

Lots of kids — and grown-ups — are putting up websites about themselves and their families. Social networking sites such as Facebook (see Chapter 10) make it easy. We think that creating websites is cool, but we strongly encourage families who use the Net for personal reasons (distinct from businesspeople who use the Net for business purposes) not to use their full or real names. We also advise you and your children never to disclose your address, phone number, Social Security number, or account passwords in online social situations to anyone who asks for this kind of information — online or off. This advice applies especially when people who claim to be in positions of authority ask for them— for example, instant messages or even phone calls from people claiming that they’re from Microsoft tech support. They’re not, as we detail in Chapter 2.

People with real authority never ask questions seeking highly personal information. For one thing, Internet service providers don’t handle member accounts by using instant messages, and they never ask for credit card information by email. It all makes a solid case for knowing how your Internet service provider does its work.

More than ever, children need to develop critical-thinking skills. They have to be able to evaluate what they read and see — especially on the web.

Regrettably, almost anyone with an email address receives their share of junk email (spam). This situation will only get worse until we have effective laws — as well as technology — against unwanted email. In the meantime, remember this important rule: If an email offer sounds too good to be true, it isn’t true — and if an ad shows up from someone you don’t know, it’s also good evidence that it isn’t true.

The Internet in Schools

Some schools and libraries use software to filter Internet access for kids. A variety of filtering systems are available, at a range of costs and installation hassles, that promise to filter out inappropriate and harmful websites. It sounds good, but many kids are smart enough to find ways around rules, and extremely smart kids can find ways around software systems designed to “protect” them.

We believe that Internet filtering in schools isn’t a good approach. Kids are quicker and more highly motivated and have more time to spend breaking into and out of systems than most adults we know, and this method doesn’t encourage them to do something more productive than electronic lock-picking.

Many institutions rely successfully on students’ signed contracts that detail explicitly what is appropriate and what is inappropriate to use. Students who violate these contracts lose their Internet or computer privileges. We recommend the approach of contracts and consequences, from which kids can truly learn.

Many schools use the Internet to post information that students can use in their classes, including a summary of the curriculum, upcoming assignments, and links to websites with useful resources. One such system is Moodle (at www.moodle.org) — ask your kids whether their teachers post assignments and resources online.

Schools all over the world now offer online instruction, and some (such as MIT, at web.mit.edu) make all their course material available online for free. If the course is on the Net, it doesn’t matter whether the school is across the street or across the ocean. You can find thousands of schools and courses in directories such as these:

  www.petersons.com/college-search/distance-education.aspx
www.usnewsuniversitydirectory.com
www.onlineschools.org

A Few Useful Websites

Here are a few sites that may be useful for kids and parents (and grandparents).

These sites focus on education and parenting:

• The Global Schoolhouse, at www.globalschoolnet.org, is an online meeting place for teachers, students, and parents.
• KidPub, at www.kidpub.com, features book reviews and writing contests for and by kids.
• Funbrain, at www.funbrain.com, has educational games for kindergarten through eighth grade.

These sites are just plain fun:

• Astronomy Picture of the Day, as in apod.nasa.gov/apod, displays a different gorgeous picture of the cosmos every day. Your tax dollars at work!
• The Yuckiest Site on the Internet, at www.cyberbee.com/yucky, is just what it sounds like — the yuckier, the better!
• At the CIA Kids’ Page, at https://www.cia.gov/kids-page, you have to type the https:// part (it’s a secure site — that’s what the s means) because it’s, you know, the CIA.
• Pattern Maker at www.zefrank.com/dtoy_vs_byokal is a fun little drawing programs.
• Sports Illustrated for Kids, at www.sikids.com, features sports news and games, but no swimsuits.