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4.6   Just kidding

When workplace humor is toxic

Linda Weiser Friedman and Hershey H. Friedman

Introduction

Over the past several decades, humor has evolved into nothing less than a platform for human communication. Wit is the hallmark of intelligent beings. While humor has been part of the essence of being human since ancient times (Friedman & Friedman 2014), the infiltration of modern computer technology into all human endeavors has brought with it a sort of playfulness (Friedman & Friedman 2003), including the proliferation of irony on the Internet, and even the (non-ironic) reference to ours as the post-ironic age.

Humor has been shown to be useful and effective in many different areas of human endeavor, including medicine, counseling, advertising, education and, of course, communication (see, e.g., Weinberger & Gulas 1992; Holden 1993; Honeycutt & Brown 1998; Goldin & Bordan 1999; Witkin 1999; Friedman et al. 2002). In the study of leadership, recent scholarship emphasizes skills of employees over degrees, in particular the so-called “soft” skills that contribute to an individual’s ability to work smoothly with others (Fischer & Friedman 2015). A survey of 225 employers conducted by Millenial Branding and Experience, Inc. (2012) found that the five major skills/traits employers seek are communication skills (98%), having a positive attitude (97%), being adaptable to change (92%), having teamwork skills (92%), and being goal oriented (88%). A paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) suggests that social adeptness—the ability to work with others—will become even more important in the future. Although quantitative/computer skills are essential, they must be combined with social skills (Torres 2015).

In the knowledge economy, the ability to be a productive member of a team has become crucial in almost every occupation. This is the reason that the soft skills involving social adeptness are indispensable. Today, an employee must have the ability to work with people from all over the world. A sexist or bigoted individual can only cause problems for most firms. What qualities make a group more effective than the sum of its constituents? Research indicates that it is the social sensitivity of group members—the ability to correctly perceive, interpret, and respect the feelings, viewpoint, and opinions of others in the group—rather than their intelligence that matters. Interestingly, women are better than men when it comes to social sensitivity, which is a kind of empathy. According to Thompson (2015):

A general collective intelligence factor explains a group’s performance on a wide variety of tasks. This “c factor” is not strongly correlated with the average or maximum individual intelligence of group members but is correlated with the average social sensitivity of group members, the equality in distribution of conversational turn-taking, and the proportion of females in the group.

(Thompson 2015: para. 4)

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While there is no doubt that humor is a powerful tool, it is not necessarily benign. In fact, it can cause serious problems within an organization and even across society. It certainly can affect the c factor of a team which requires mutual respect. As we shall see, the right kind of humor can probably help the c factor by getting people to bond (Plester & Sayers 2007).

Recently, several notable tempests have arisen in online social media, each in reaction to statements that were supposed to be funny; indeed, some were part of the routines of professional comedians such as Louis CK and Trevor Noah (Dickson 2015). In April 2016, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio had to apologize for a racial joke—a reference to “colored people’s time”—that was not intended to mock anyone but himself, as he is perpetually late (Howard 2016; Wofford 2016). In June 2015, Madrid city councilman Guillermo Zapata felt compelled to apologize for a Holocaust-themed joke he had tweeted back in 2011 (Minder 2015). Hillary Clinton used the gender card in the election campaign: “She jokingly tells audiences that after more than 200 years and 44 male presidents, ‘It’s time.’ She also gushes about being a grandmother and jokes about coloring her hair” (DelReal & Gearan 2016). Bob Sutton, Chairman of the Broward County GOP Executive Committee in Florida, made a particularly insensitive remark to indicate how easy it would be for Donald Trump to defeat Hillary Clinton in the presidential race: “I think when Donald Trump debates Hillary Clinton she’s going to go down like Monica Lewinsky” (Gearan & Zezima 2016).

In addition to those who may lose the love of long-time fans, this sort of negative humor is sometimes responsible for loss of employment, for example, Tex Antoine (Tex Antoine 2016), Don Imus (Guttenberg 2009), and Adria Richards (Smith 2013b); loss of sponsorships, for example, Gilbert Gottfried (Quinn 2011); and, of course, the creation and support of a toxic work environment.

When humor is mocking, disparaging of groups or individuals, it can indeed be toxic. Where is the line separating “dark” humor from the truly toxic, and how is it that so many professional humorists stumble when they cross it? Does context matter? Have we become too sensitive? According to Scott (2015), “the world is full of jokes and also of people who can’t take them” (AR1).

Humor can be beneficial in the workplace (Romero & Cruthirds 2006)—for example, humor by the leader can improve performance of the group—but it can also contribute to a toxic work environment. At the same time, the targets of disparaging humor in the workplace make do by using humor themselves in order to cope.

Surprisingly, the published research in the area of workplace humor, while on the rise, is still fairly small. We can expect this to change over the next decade or two as this is a very fertile field for scholarly research, of interest to scholars across a wide variety of academic and scientific disciplines. These include psychology, sociology, humor studies, diversity studies, management, and business, among others.

This paper will examine the many effects of humor and demonstrate how it can be used as a powerful tool to build workplace cohesiveness and result in more productivity. It will also show that workplace humor can be used as a tool to exclude certain groups (e.g., women, minorities, foreigners, etc.) and thus hurt group cohesion. Moreover, it is one of the tools that workplace bullies employ to abuse, harass, and intimidate coworkers.

Humor in the workplace

Skalski et al. (2012) discuss four theories of humor: superiority/disparagement, incongruity, arousal/dark humor, and social currency. They note that as far back as Aristotle it was known that humor may be used to make one group feel superior by mocking another group. Freud made a distinction between tendentious humor, which has a purpose, and non-tendentious jokes which are innocent, such as wordplay (Freud 1960: 90–91). Three major types of tendentious jokes he describes are “exposing or obscene jokes, aggressive (hostile) jokes, and cynical (critical, blasphemous) jokes.” He also briefly describes a fourth type, skeptical jokes (Freud 1960: 115). There are no victims in “Knock-knock” or “Why did the chicken cross the road?” jokes, so they are non-tendentious (Sayre & King 2010: 88). Freud (1960: 103) made the following observation regarding tendentious jokes with a hostile, aggressive purpose: “By making our enemy small, inferior, despicable or comic, we achieve in a roundabout way the enjoyment of overcoming him.” Freud avers that “[s]mut [dirty jokes] is like an exposure of the sexually different person to whom it is directed . . . It cannot be doubted that the desire to see what is sexual exposed is the original motive of smut” (Freud 1960: 98). Thus, obscene jokes, according to Freud, also are aggressive and have a victim.

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Skalski et al. (2012) assert that humor can be used as a social interaction tool for “the establishment of a sense of group belonging or understanding” and “a means of building and maintaining relationships.” This is why humor is quite important, even essential, in the workplace. It helps create a sense of belonging and contributes to group solidarity. All humor is to some extent cultural and, perhaps to that same extent, humor serves to define, explain and enhance our understanding of a particular culture. Much like the parable of the blind men and the elephant, humor is one of the ways with which we can grasp a level of understanding of a highly complex cultural environment.

According to McGhee (2013: 1999), humor is a useful tool in the workplace, specifically for team building, where it can result in: removal of barriers that separate management from other employees; emotional bonding; open communication; enhancement of trust; improved morale; reduced job stress; and increased creativity. Duncan and Feisal (1989) note that a self-deprecating joke may be a signal to employees that the manager is actually a real person. They also feel that joking improves the cohesiveness of the group, which then has a positive effect on group performance. Other studies have found a connection between the use of humor by a leader and the performance of followers (Vecchio, Justin & Pearce 2009). Sanders (2004) found that workplace humor was an important coping strategy for women working in the sex industry. The prostitutes working in this industry often deride clients behind their backs and might ridicule the way they look or how they perform. Sanders (2004: 287) feels that “joking relations are important in extreme professions that require intense physical and emotional labor that potentially threatens personal well-being.” If humor helps prostitutes cope, it certainly can help workers in all kinds of stressful professions.

Shellenbarger (2013) observes that employers prefer hiring people with a good sense of humor. One survey of 737 CEOs found that 98% preferred hiring someone with a sense of humor over one without (Bannister 2006). A smart boss uses humor to create a friendly workplace. One executive asserts: “humor breaks down silos and flattens the organization, fostering employee loyalty and productivity” (Shellenbarger 2013). Smith (2013a) quotes a researcher who states:

At an organizational level, some organizations are tapping into what I’d call “the humor advantage.” Companies such as Zappos and Southwest Airlines have used humor and a positive fun culture to help brand their business, attract and retain employees and to attract customers.

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Romero and Cruthirds (2006) demonstrate how humor is relevant to the discipline of management by influencing several factors including: group cohesiveness, communication (humor can be used to enhance the ability of audiences to comprehend, appreciate, and accept messages), stress reduction, creative thinking, communication of the organizational culture (e.g., that the workplace is a happy, fun place), and leadership.

Teasing banter in the workplace, while facilitating cohesiveness (Vinton 1989), may have implications regarding the in-group positioning of an employee. Plester and Sayers (2007) demonstrate how people working at three different IT companies use humorous “banter” to strengthen workplace relationships. The term “banter” (they also referred to it as “taking the piss”) is a kind of playful teasing whose purpose is to deflate another person’s ego. It is part of what employees see as a “fun” organizational culture. They also note that it strengthens the cohesion of the in-group, but also has the ability to be exclusionary to outsiders:

Observing exchanges of banter defined ‘in’ and ‘out’ groups within these organizations. Banter created group bonds and was used to exclude some individuals from the group. Groups developed ‘in-jokes’ only understood by members and these types of jokes highlighted the group’s identity. Banter highlighted many demographic differences such as ethnicity, gender or age diversity inside work groups. Rather than denigrating the differences the jocular insults used in the banter appeared to emphasize and perhaps even celebrate diverse individual characteristics of coworkers. Demographic differences such as ethnicity and gender had effects on the types of banter shared.

(Plester & Sayers 2007: 183)

In-group humor can be used to help new recruits or trainees develop a feeling of belonging. In general, this type of humor tends to bond together members of the profession. This type of bonding humor helps people find common ground (Holden 1993: 67).

In exploring computer-oriented humor (Friedman & Friedman 2002, 2003), the authors noted that much of this type of humor has a social purpose. It serves as a bonding device. Indeed, there are several kinds of humor whose primary function appears to be the creation of a feeling of belongingness and togetherness. Some of this humor is almost generic, in that the same joke works well for one subgroup and then can be reworked and recycled to be just as funny to another group of people.

This category of humor covers a wide variety of comic endeavors, including the humor of various ethnic groups, racial groups, religions, professions, scientific disciplines—indeed, any group of individuals who share a body of knowledge, rituals, experience, lore, and, of course, a sense of humor.

This type of humor is found in many professions. WorkJoke (2017) is an example of a popular web site containing a wide variety of professions and their humor, ranging from accountant to zookeeper. Sometimes humor of this type seems to operate under the theory of superiority, as when another (outsider) group is the object of the joke. The definitive computer-oriented joke in this category may be the anecdote, told as if it had really happened, about the technical support specialist who fields a call from a user about a defective cup holder at the front of the computer: it was the CD-ROM drive. At other times, there is no superiority; the humor may be of the self-deprecating type. For example,

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A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist got to discussing which was the oldest profession. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam’s rib. This obviously required complicated surgery, so therefore medicine was surely the oldest profession in the world. The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible stating that God created order from chaos, and since this was most certainly the biggest example of civil engineering, it proved that his profession was the oldest profession. Smiling, the computer scientist responded: “Who do you think created chaos?”

In fact, this joke is frequently recycled and appears among the humor of several different professions (for example, lawyers).

Negative humor and its repercussions

Over on the dark side, negative humor can indeed be toxic and can have severe consequences. The Nazis, for an extreme example, were not exactly tolerant of wit at their own expense. Surprisingly, even under the vicious Nazis, who apparently did not have a sense of humor (unless it was directed against their victims), some Germans secretly told anti-Nazi jokes (Herzog 2011: 167). This is the joke that got a woman executed by the guillotine.

Hitler and Göring were standing on top of the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on the Berliners’ faces. Göring says, “Why don’t you jump?”

Execution for a jokester may seem a little extreme to us but, still, are we too sensitive regarding offensive humor? In a recent example of jokes gone wrong, Trevor Noah, who replaced Jon Stewart as host of The Daily Show, was accused of insensitivity to women, obese people, and Jews for these tweets (Dickson 2015).

“Oh yeah the weekend. People are gonna get drunk & think that I’m sexy!”—fat chicks everywhere.

Almost bumped a Jewish kid crossing the road. He didn’t look b4 crossing but I still would hav felt so bad in my german car!

Behind every successful Rap Billionaire is a double as rich Jewish man.

Messi gets the ball and the real players try foul him, but Messi doesn’t go down easy, just like jewish chicks.

(Dickson 2015)

Dickson (2015) had the following to say about these tweets:

There is a sharp distinction between a subversive joke, and something that’s merely offensive, existing purely for the sake of hurting people’s feelings. In truth, Noah’s tweets about billionaire Jews and JAPs who don’t like to go down were neither; they were just stupid. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t folks out there who agree with the underlying sentiments.

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In scholarly and popular literature (Anderson 2015; Quinn 2015), a number of individuals are trying to characterize ethnic, racial, often bigoted humor in terms of its intentions and effects. Not necessarily merely positive or negative, such humor may be considered subversive, insensitive, a device that allows us “to say those things that cannot be normally expressed” (Aufrecht 2001: 11), or “raising issues about the racial divide” (Obeidallah 2015: 8). While Bergmann’s (1986: 74) view—that “sexist humor presupposes sexist beliefs on the part of the audience”—fairly insists that bigoted jokes are always bigoted, this view may be too simplistic and one-dimensional. Anderson (2015) argues for a wider spectrum in characterizing offensive humor.

Moss (2012) describes how a supposedly harmless joke can create a hostile workplace environment. She was working at an Italian restaurant and the boss was lecturing employees on the correct way of cleaning mini-fridges under the counter. This involved kneeling in order to get at the difficult-to-reach back corners. The boss then pointed to one of the waitresses and said: “Come on, Kari, you know what it’s like to spend plenty of time on your knees . . . And then while the entire staff looked on, he made the classic tongue-in-cheek gesture.”

Moss (2012) also describes a meeting many years later at a work event with several male coworkers, where she was the only female. One of the men used the expression “sucking dick” as a seemingly innocuous phrase since it was not used in a sexual manner. Apparently, he realized that it might be offensive and turned to her and asked: “Oh man . . . I’m uh, really sorry . . . Was that offensive? Did that bother you? I didn’t mean to . . . Well, I hope you weren’t . . . Yeah . . . Sorry.” When she assured him his language did not bother her, he tried to make things better by asking her if she was a lesbian. Moss concludes:

For many professional women, depending on their industry, the feeling of exclusion is much more subtle and potentially damaging than outright sexism. Had this guy made a sexist comment at me, I know my rights and my options for defending them. This guy, however, was singling me out for specific comment because of my gender. It’s equivalent to a teacher calling on a black student to ask how he feels about reparation politics. From the moment he asked me, and only me, my feelings on his word choice, it was obvious that I was somehow a different type of colleague than the rest of the table. It was as if, since I didn’t have a penis, I was an obstacle to the flow of conversation, instead of a contributor to it.

(Moss 2012: para. 8)

One of the underpinnings of humor and humor research is that all humor will not necessarily be funny to all people. Schutz (1995) feels that ethnic humor plays an important social function by helping in-groups bond and reinforce their values. Humor can be used to deride others (e.g., racist jokes, lawyer jokes) but it can also be used to enhance the image of a group. Of course, one joke can sometimes do both jobs at the same time: mock one group while at the same time making another group appear smarter than everyone else. The jokes of victims and oppressed groups very often have this dual purpose. Lowe (1986) makes this observation about certain kinds of ethnic humor: “it produces simultaneously a strong fellow-feeling among participants and joint aggressiveness against outsiders” (448).

Perhaps, certain jokes are only appropriate if you belong to a particular group. Outsiders have to be careful because the same joke may make them appear to be bigots. The following joke has been used as such an example in research by Gruner (2000: 101).

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Two Jews are about to face a Russian firing squad. The two condemned men are offered blindfolds. One of them accepts it, but the other does not, defiantly saying: “I don’t want your blindfold.” His friend urges: “Shh, Izzy, don’t make trouble.”

When this joke is told by one Jew to another, it is a gentle acknowledgment of the tendency of Jews in the Diaspora to keep quiet at all costs, rather than attract unwanted attention. On the other hand, when this joke is told by one non-Jew to another, especially with humorous Jewish-sounding names and dialect as in Gruner (2000: 101), it definitely comes across as disparaging to Jews.

When a joke is told to exclude, to mock those who are the targets of the joke, there is definitely something offensive about it. When this sort of negative humor appears in the workplace, even in a teasing manner, it can hurt the teller, the listener, the target and, of course, the organization.

Toxic workplace humor

Humor can be very beneficial in the workplace but it has to be used carefully. Humor is a powerful tool and can be used for positive and negative purposes. Humor can be inclusive and serve to break down barriers and bring people together, but it can also be divisive and quite harmful. In the workplace, it is especially important for humor to be used in a constructive manner.

Workplace humor should be used to bring people together, not to tear them apart. Romero and Cruthirds (2006) make the point that humor is a double-edged sword. Used improperly it can cause serious problems in organizations. This is especially true of humor that is perceived as racist, sexist, or humiliating. Aggressive, nasty humor of this sort can result in lawsuits and cause conflict in an organization. The wrong kind of humor can result in huge problems including the loss of employment. Unsuitable humor can result in legal problems since it can be seen as workplace harassment which creates a “hostile work environment” (Volokh 1997). In fact, blonde jokes or any kind of sexual humor can be seen as contributing to a hostile work environment (Volokh 1997). Wolfe (2013: para. 7) provides the following guidelines:

Humor should be inclusive to be well-received. But sexist, racist, ageist jokes, and crude remarks label certain individuals, or groups of people, as inferior in some way and create exclusions. Not only is this inappropriate, but offensive displays of humor, even when not directed at a specific person, can lead to sanctions, terminations, and lawsuits.

Racist and sexist humor is often used for the purpose of perpetuating stereotypes about women and minorities and thus to keep them “in their place.” Boxer and Ford (2010) see sexist humor as an example of insidious workplace misbehaviors that have a hidden agenda—to spread dishonest stereotypes about women and thus hurt their status in the organization. The same can be said about most kinds of aggressive jokes directed at vulnerable populations including short people, obese people, unattractive people, or those from another culture, ethnic group, nationality, or religion.

As Quinn (2000: 1180) points out, “When the content of humor is sexist or sexually demeaning and the context is a workplace, the possibility of defining it as hostile work environment sexual harassment exists.” Quinn’s research found that negative humor targeting women boosts male group solidarity and women’s disempowerment. In addition, the survival strategy of not taking it “personal,” a common response in the workplace and elsewhere, may be unwitting collaboration.

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In the workplace, bullies often use humor to belittle others. In fact, sarcastic, belittling humor is a tool used by workplace bullies to make victims uncomfortable (Conley 2013). Humor can also be used as a weapon to end bullying. Hayden (2013: para. 1) states: “When used correctly and at the right time humor will confuse bullies and stop them in their tracks, because it’s the last thing they expect to hear.” In a classic episode of Seinfeld called “The Comeback” (Trainor 1997), George Costanza tries, repeatedly and ultimately unsuccessfully, to do just that when someone makes fun of him at a business conference. The show uses humor in a clever way to illustrate how a bad joke can cause a co-worker so much aggravation.

Humor, like literature and film, often requires the listener (or audience) to suspend disbelief and exist in an alternate realm. The workplace however is very much in the real world, the one in which we actually live and work and hope to succeed. In this milieu, following an insensitive joke with “just kidding” does not negate the offense. This sort of “worlds collide” phenomenon may be why (well, one reason) the character Michael Scott in The Office has so much trouble with his tone-deaf attempts at humor.

Interestingly, in what may be a possible explanation, a recent large-scale study (Robert et al. 2016) found that the existing relationship between employer and subordinate was more important to job satisfaction than whether the leader’s humor was positive or negative.

Real-world examples

Cited here are several examples of toxic workplace humor that boomeranged.

Tex Antoine

Tex Antoine was the meteorologist for WABC News. On November 24, 1976, his weather spot came up right after a report dealing with the violent rape of a young girl—she was five years old. Tex jokingly said: “With rape so predominant in the news lately, it is well to remember the words of Confucius: ‘If rape is inevitable, lie back and enjoy it.’” He lost his job and never recovered from this gaffe (Tex Antoine 2016). Rape, especially of children, is such an ugly crime that one cannot joke about it. His so-called joke did not reduce tension but increased it. Women were quite upset about the way this remark reinforced an ugly stereotype about them. This same foolish remark torpedoed Clayton Williams’s campaign for Governor of Texas against Ann Richards; he was ahead by 11 points and lost because of this. He compared the cold, foggy weather that ruined a cattle roundup at his ranch to a rape, telling people (including reporters) around a campfire, “If it’s inevitable, just relax and enjoy it” (Scarce 2012).

Don Imus

Don Imus was terminated from his radio show for referring to members of the Rutgers women’s basketball team as “nappy-headed hos.” He was trying to be funny (Guttenberg 2009: para. 6).

Adria Richards

Adria Richards overheard two men at the PyCon technology conference in Santa Clara joking about “big dongles” in a sexual way. Dongles are devices that plug into computers. She took a picture of the two men and posted it on Twitter with the following statement: “Not cool. Jokes about forking repo’s in a sexual way and ‘big’ dongles.” When the smoke cleared, Richards, who worked for SendGrid, as well as one of the men lost their jobs (Smith 2013b).

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Professor R. K. Engler

Professor Engler was terminated from Roosevelt University for telling this joke to a college class taking his course “City and Citizenship” (Ponce 2010). “A group of sociologists did a poll in Arizona about the new immigration law. Sixty percent said they were in favor, and 40 percent said, ‘No habla English.’” Professor Engler is in litigation with the university. He claims that this humor was quite appropriate for the course and was being used to stimulate discussion.

Justine Sacco

Justine Sacco, a communications director at InterActive Corp., lost her job for posting the following racially-insensitive tweet after flying to South Africa: “Going to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just kidding. I’m White!” (Umansky 2014).

Fritz Darges

Fritz Darges was an army adjutant to Adolf Hitler who got himself sent to the Eastern front for telling a joke. During a 1944 strategy meeting, Hitler was bothered by a fly that kept buzzing around him and landing on a map he was studying. Hitler told Darges to kill the fly. Darges replied to Hitler that the fly was an “airborne pest” and was therefore the responsibility of the Luftwaffe (air force) adjutant, Nicolaus von Below (Hudgins 2013).

Conclusions

Aristotle said: “Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work” (Hoppe 2017: 96). And from Winston Churchill, “Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm” (Hoppe 2017: 68). What do we want from our employees? If we’re smart, not just work. We want passion, creativity, curiosity in the world around us. We want employees who are good communicators and collaborators. Humor goes a long way towards these goals. Humor that brings people together is very different from the sort of humor that emphasizes our differences and mocks them.

Without question, humor is an extremely powerful tool: it can strengthen relationships and build rapport in the workplace. Humor can serve as a major social bond, a bond that can be used for positive or negative purposes (Friedman & Friedman 2003). Jokes, one popular type of humor, are very revealing. If you want to know whether or not someone is a bigot or sexist, listen to the jokes s/he tells. Indeed, Helmreich (2004) examines humor and anecdotes to better understand stereotypes. Telushkin (1992) feels that if you really want to understand the Jewish people, examine the humor told by both Jews and non-Jews about the Jewish people. Davies (2011) believes that jokes often tap into strongly held stereotypical beliefs: for example, politicians are seen as corrupt, Jews as money-hungry, blonde women as being stupid, psychiatrists as nutty, professors as absent-minded, lawyers as dishonest, mothers-in-law as unlikable, economists out of touch with the real world, waiters as rude, rednecks as bigoted morons, and IT experts as geeks. The following joke is a good example:

Question: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Answer: A good start!

This only works with lawyers and maybe a disliked religious or ethnic group. Jews or blacks would probably work at a KKK rally. Try the joke with nurses and it does not work. In fact, it would seem bizarre.

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In conclusion, it is important for people to understand the many ramifications of humor and use it in the workplace in a positive manner to heal and include rather than to exclude and hurt others.

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