Chapter 7

How to Adjust Your Image

Tweaking Your Image

Is there anything that matters more than how your image looks? Well, there is the goal of world peace and all that stuff, but beside world peace and raising our families in an environment that respects and values them, how an image looks matters most. Well, perhaps I left out affordable healthcare for everyone, everywhere. That certainly matters, but those aside (and not counting being fully prepared to survive in the coming zombie apocalypse), I have to imagine how your image looks is really important (as long as we’re not counting things like access to fresh water, the basic rights of freedom, access to high-speed Internet without limits on your data plan, and the fact that all people should have either a Netflix or Hulu subscription provided by their government). Well, that and the ability to have a walk-on, speaking role on your favorite TV sitcom. I mean that should be an unalienable right, but I’m not sure how that would play out because only so many people can be on any one episode of anything. So, let’s go back to the image thing, which for me, and many photographers out there, is the #1 thing, as long as nobody’s counting Miranda rights, because those are pretty important because your chances of being arrested while using a tripod are significantly higher than the population at large, including people with unlicensed weapons who have filed the serial number off so it can’t be traced. Because, as we all know, the thing we have to fear most as a rational, democratic society is that a photographer should somehow take a shot in a low-light situation and not get a blurry picture. If that happens, society as we know it will collapse, with chaos in the streets, and that leads to voter fraud, which as we all know leads to promiscuous behavior, and that is why we lost the war.