Have you ever walked into a room and felt like every single person is looking at you? Some people take this to the extreme and become highly sensitive and embarrassed about walking into any public situation, imagining that the whole room is looking at them and judging them. No doubt you've already heard this said before . . .

People have got far too much going on in their own lives to be worried about what you're doing or what you're getting up to. Nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are!

Even so, when you walk into a room, some people are bound to look up. Does that mean everyone is looking at you and disapproving of you? Actually, what is going on here is something quite different.

It's human nature to look up or glance over, regardless of who's just come into the room. It's one of our inbuilt defence mechanisms to protect us from danger when something comes into our environment. “Friend or foe?” It's a subconscious reaction to ensure the coast is clear.

There could be other explanations too. Maybe people are looking round as you enter simply because they are waiting to meet someone. Of all the reasons people might glance up, 99.9% of the time it will have nothing whatsoever to do with you!

What Others Might Think of Your Interaction

A lot of people get concerned about talking to somebody they don't know in public. They worry about what people around them will think when they see them talking to a “stranger”. What you need to remember is that people nearby do not know whether you know that person or not. The only people that know there is no existing relationship for sure are you and the person you are talking to. So worrying about what bystanders may think needn't be an issue.

Often, someone who worries what other people think will also worry about making a mistake, looking stupid or getting something wrong. This goes back to the classic fear of failure where you assume you're no good at something just because the immediate outcome isn't fantastic. But there's a learning curve to everything in life. You can't expect to do things perfectly first time. Focus instead on how your results improve with practice.

Your time for living is now, not some time in the future. So, start doing more of the things you want to do today and worry less (or not at all) about what others may think. The likelihood is that they're not thinking about you anyway.

Lots of people have low self‐esteem and lack confidence to some degree or another. Often you wouldn't realize it to look at them. The common trait in pretty much all of the thousands of people I've worked with and mentored one to one is that they lack confidence. And that includes hugely successful people who hold senior positions in very large corporations. You see, we're all sensitive to one degree or another, but we show it in different ways. Often we overcompensate by looking more confident than we really are. In most situations the person you're talking to is likely to be looking for your approval as well, so they're unlikely to be judging you harshly.

Let's play devil's advocate though. Let's say someone is judging or criticizing you. Ask yourself these questions:

• Who are they to do so?
• What have they done or achieved to allow them to do that?
• Are they qualified to judge you?

No. Nothing makes them good enough to judge you.

You're your own person. You make your own decisions and take your own actions. Just because someone doesn't agree with you or approve of what you may be doing doesn't make it wrong. It's right for you.

Conclusion

Make sure you pay attention to your inner voice and the things you are saying to yourself. Ask yourself “Are these things constructive and moving me in the direction I want to go, or is there another way of looking at this?”

I overcame an intense fear of public speaking. I used to worry about what others would think if I got up and spoke in public. I feared rejection and worried about making mistakes. I have now reached the stage where I love speaking in public. I can speak to a thousand people with no notes or slides and I love every minute of it. How did I get to this point? By doing exactly what I'm telling you. I'd imagine it going well. I'd imagine people liking what I was doing. I practised on my own at home or in my office. I practised how I would say things. I pretended it didn't bother me when I got up to speak and I told myself that people would like me. I kept telling myself that I was good at it. I got really proud that I could do something so easily that others found really hard. I felt proud that I could do it and that was a great motivator for me to go ahead and make the most of a situation where I had previously worried what other people might think.

When you worry too much about what other people think, you are in real danger of missing out on what you could achieve. You, too, can change your beliefs about yourself and be amazed at how you can transform your life and results in a short period of time.