Chapter 11. Buckets and Butterflies
Doctors will prescribe anxiety medications for just about anything. They're all the rage these days, fitting nicely into a lifecycle of creature comforts that starts with bottles of milk and ends with Metamucil. Acceptable reasons for anxiety medication? Any—and I mean any—concerns about the future, both warranted or contrived.
A cursory glance at the fine print on any anxiety medication reveals the relative limitations of these palliatives. Rarely, if ever, will a pharmaceutical company recommend their miracle pills for the following scenarios: A lion has backed you into a corner, and a T-bone is taped to your jugular; a piano is falling from the sky and, gripped with terror, you have the impulse not to run, but to locate and ingest your anxiety medication; your toddler is running through the house with scissors and, though protected by his replica Batman costume with real vital organ shields, you stupidly forgot to don yours this morning; and worst of all, you wake up unable to breathe and your idiot cat simply will not move from your face, and you cannot scream.
No, anxiety medications are no help in any of the above situations. It's no coincidence: Fear and anxiety are two separate emotions. Whereas fear is an emotional reaction in the face of immediate danger, anxiety is more of a mood or clinical syndrome that stems from the anticipation of future problems. It's characterized by persistent pessimism and is rooted in a lack of control (or just the feeling thereof).
I can't categorically promise that fear should not be included in the cocktail of emotions we all imbibe before public performance. In truth, I've heard of presentations so dull that crowds rush the stage, apprehend the offending speaker, and throw him or her into the nearest body of water (usually located in or around Boston, where dull speech evokes the keen and aggravating memory of powdered wigs and tyranny). But I can say that—with reasonable crowds, content, and delivery—fear of public speaking is not the emotion we're trying to master. We're trying to master anxiety. (Note: I am not trained in mental health. Consult a licensed mental health practitioner before ceasing efforts to master fear. For instance, if you are actually in a corner facing a lion and a T-bone is indeed taped to your neck, please set this book aside and attempt to remove the steak. Then call your doctor, not necessarily in that order.)
This will hopefully come as good news to many of you. Under the strict definition of the word "fear," even if the threat of real harm or danger is imagined, the perceived consequences are extremely near at hand. Mastering fear, then, is going to be maladaptive for the majority of human civilization. Fear provides us with the very logical impulse to run very fast, jump very high, or quickly put on replica superhero attire. Generally speaking, you really shouldn't try to master your fear.
The thing about anxiety is that the worst-case scenario always occurs sometime later.
Sure, you could lose your job after giving a bad presentation. Your anxiety in the days leading up to that presentation is always hypothetical; the threat doesn't exist until the presentation has been given. Fear in this scenario is unmanageable: You should be afraid during the long walk to your boss's office after you delivered a poor presentation, lost the account, and now sense immediate, occupational danger. Anxiety totally hinges on what could happen if the presentation doesn't go well. Those are two hypothetical events, one of which is totally controllable: If you feel anxious, you have time to improve.
Nothing takes the emotion out of emotions like mathematics. I find that my level of anxiety almost always has a strong, inversely correlated relationship to my level of preparedness. The more prepared I am, the less anxious I am. Usually, if I practice a presentation eight times before delivery, I don't feel anxious at all. Thus, my simple, heart-of-stone equations: Anxiety = Unprepared. Prepared = 8(Practice). Therefore, 8(Practice) = Unanxious.
(While my childhood goal of becoming the world's foremost emotional mathematician was foiled when I discovered MIT had no such department, I'll trust my readers to realize the encouraging genius in the above display of my raw talent.)
Though anxiety may be separate from fear, it is certainly a gateway emotion. The longer we feel anxious about a possible result (rather than doing something about it), the more likely we are to have reason to fear those results. We can spend time eliminating anxiety through extra work, preparation, and commitment, or we can wallow in pessimism about what may occur and just wait for it to happen. You know the old Western trope where the bandit ties the damsel-in-distress to the railroad tracks? Well, that's anxiety, only there's no rope. We're just lying there, and if we don't want to be obliterated by a train, we just need to walk off.
I'm not saying your emotions don't matter. I'm very concerned about your emotions, and I want you to feel like someone cares. All I'm saying is that presentation anxiety isn't worth your time. Preparedness = 8(Practice). There are many highly effective, tangibly calming anxiety reducers on the market today that you won't even need a prescription to try. Here are some of my favorites.
TOP 10 OVER-THE-COUNTER ANXIETY REDUCERS FOR PRESENTERS
10. No apologies! This one applies to the presentation moment and any last remnants of anxiety you may be feeling. Apologizing on stage for stuttering, coughing, getting lost for a moment, or any other mistake makes you feel weak and servile—not the sort of person we want to be our expert on anything. Mistakes are going to happen, so forget your manners on stage. No apologies, ever!
9. Stand on their shoulders: Morbid psychopaths aside, most of the individuals attending your presentation are looking for real, substantial value. Have you ever watched someone fall to pieces on stage? I've seen audience members in terrible discomfort, not knowing where to look or where to put their hands as the result of poor presenting. Believe me, when faced with the choice between watching someone discombobulate and spending an hour learning, laughing, experiencing, and growing personally and professionally, most of us want the latter. They're all rooting for you. Just stand on their shoulders.
8. Engage your imagination: When children play basketball, they don't just dribble, shoot, and play defense; they imagine: "I'm Michael Jordan!" before a difficult shot or "I'm LeBron James!" while driving to the basket. They may be little runts, but they feel like a 6′6″, 250-lb. basketball machines. You'll even hear them count down, "three, two, one" before shots, imagining that the weight of victory or defeat is even greater than in real life. We adults can do the same thing. Imagine yourself walking on stage with the calm confidence of Steve Jobs; pretend you have mastered your material like a seasoned expert; visualize yourself speaking fluidly, like you're engrossed in conversation instead of giving a sterile speech. When the time comes to do the job, you'll find you feel like you've done this a thousand times. After all, how do you think Michael Jordan got so comfortable taking last-second shots? Three, two, one . . .
7. Make it your strength: If you're anxious about falling off of a bike, you have two options: Don't ride bikes, or ride and ride until you're incredible at it. The in-between option, riding only when you have to, is almost guaranteed road rash. Presentations are the same, only we sometimes don't have a choice. If you want to gain certain opportunities or effect change, the only thing to do is present to a group of people. When this is reality, make it your strength: Give small-scale presentations frequently. Teach a Sunday school class; speak at a child's school; deliver toasts at parties and weddings; coach a Little League team. Opportunities to master the craft are everywhere. Pick one or two that suit you and get busy.
6. Let the little things guide you: In the midst of our anxiety, we seldom realize the host of minuscule, perfectionist tasks that can occupy our thoughts as we approach the big day. Details like planning an outfit, doing supplemental research, coming up with some extra-special flourishes, and so on, can do double duty for you, because they keep those idle, often pessimistic thoughts at bay while making your presentation perfect down to the last detail. In the final week before a presentation, turn every idle moment into a productive brainstorming session on how you can make it even better. Few people, even the best, would be able to sit on a couch and think positively in idleness for several days. We all tend to self-destruct when we're lying around, so get up and do something!
5. Exercise: Human beings tend to separate our areas of health: the mind, the body, the spirit, and so on. When it comes to feeling good, though, there are no compartments; it's all one feeling, and you either have it or you don't. This is one of the greatest pitfalls presenters face: The week(s) leading up to a presentation can be extremely stressful. Late nights, early mornings, traveling, and other routine-crushers become the norm, and all of a sudden we don't have time for the workout routine that helps us feel strong and confident. After a week or two of crash preparation, we stumble on stage feeling like trash. Don't let it happen to you. No matter how hard you have to work in the days or weeks leading up to a presentation, be absolutely steadfast in making time for yourself every day. Not only is exercise a proven way of relieving stress and anxiety, but the pride it instills in people often spills over into other areas—like feeling smart, capable, and organized.
4. Relax: Your doctor has been telling you to do this for years, and while it's a great bit of lifestyle advice, I'm speaking specifically in regards to the hour or two prior to delivering your presentation. Whenever possible, try to plan the day of the presentation so that you have ample time to clear your head, wrap up any loose ends, and then breathe very slowly, in and out, for at least 10 minutes. Time it. Good, quality breathing can have a tremendous impact on the quality of your presentation. Taking the time to focus on breathing puts you in control of your heart rate, blood pressure, thoughts, and actions. When you're done, straighten up and walk on stage with confidence.
3. Know the room: Whenever possible, I like to get this one done the day before the presentation; if that's not possible, do be sure to do it at some point. Spend some time in the venue before you speak. Walk on stage, yes, but also walk around the room. Experience the size, the view from the back row, and the sound of your speaking voice in the room. Play with the lighting if you can. Figure out where the wires, projector, podium, and screen will be. Learn sooner, rather than later, that the podium is taller than you are and plan your jokes accordingly. Unfamiliar places don't cause anxiety, but they definitely facilitate it. Spend enough time in the room to feel comfortable and aware on the big day.
2. Know the audience: Of course, there's no way to become familiar with an audience before the presentation. That's just called an earlier-than-expected presentation. You do, however, have to get to know their motivations, whether they're coming for humor, truth, or a clever mixture of both, and so on. The more familiar you are with the sort of people you'll be speaking to, the better your presentation will be. Just like unfamiliar places facilitate anxiety, unfamiliar people are often the greatest source of discomfort for presenters. What are they thinking, anyway? Answering that question to the best of your ability is key to eliminating anxiety. It doesn't matter if your answer is right, so long as you believe it to be true to the best of your knowledge. Remember, feeling comfortable is being comfortable. If you feel like you know your audience, then for all intents and purposes, you know your audience.
1. Be Prepared: Thus we conclude the Top 10 Anxiety Reducers List. It may sound obvious, but you'd be amazed at the number of presenters who wing it each and every day. Not just Career Day speeches at local elementary schools, either. I'm talking big, multimillion-dollar deals where the presentation itself was prepared but the speaker was not. Therein lies a key difference: Thorough, organized content paired with neat and evocative design a presentation does not make. The best presentations occur when those elements are synchronized with a prepared speaker. Don't make the mistake of thinking outlining, organization, and design count as preparation. Yes, serial board member and multimillionaire, I'm talking to you: Get in front of the mirror, get on a mock stage, or practice your delivery in front of a camera or some peers. Whom or whatever you stand before, your final presentation should feel as comfortable as riding a bike (assuming you are extremely familiar with riding bikes so that it is basically second nature.)