Index
Please note that index links point to page beginnings from the print edition. Locations are approximate in e-readers, and you may need to page down one or more times after clicking a link to get to the indexed material.
A
ABC World News Tonight, 116
Accepting yourself, 177–181
Acton School of Business, 118
Ad-libbing, 127–134
Adults, as giant children, 172–173
Advice, unwelcome, 65–66
Age, chronological, 173–176
ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, 12–14
Always being ready, 188–191
Answer, letting others, 155–156
Anticipating others’ needs, 190–191
Apologies:
avoiding, in Gloss and Go, 34
expressing regret as alternative to, 39–40
with follow-ups, 121
genuine, 40
sincere and succinct, 225
Appropriate asking, 148
Ask:
power of the, 145–150
showcasing your, 156–159
Asking for what you want, 151–156
Attacks, responding to, 180
Attention, capturing someone’s, 124–126
Attire, appropriate, 193–197
Audience, hooking the, 126–127
Available, being, 191
Awards, 170
B
Backgrounds, researching others’, 115–118, 218
“Be right back,” 122–124
Believing in yourself, 161–186
by accepting yourself, 177–181
and chronological age, 173–176
by empowering others, 181–182
by laughing at yourself, 171–173
by letting yourself be empowered by others, 182–186
by making your own name, 163–167
by not comparing yourself to others, 169–171
by overcoming doubt, 167–169
Bermuda Triangle, social, 27–28
Best Buddies, 123
“Best,” subjectivity of, 169–171
Betta fish, 47–48
Body shaming, 88–90
Bodyguards, 48
Bold statement, making a, 126
Bonds, Barry, 147
Bornstein, Helen, 10
Bornstein, Marc, 10
Branding, 166
Broadcasting and Cable (journal), 200
Brokaw, Tom, 209
The brushoff, 56
Bullying, 64–66
Bureau of Labor Statistics, 200
Business cards, 143
C
Career setbacks, 199–226
anticipating, 203–204
and changing your perspective, 211–213
and dealing with mistakes, 221–224
and dodging the bullet, 213–215
and the future, 225–226
layoffs as, 204–209
and new opportunities, 216–218
preparing for, 200–203
and rejection, 218–221
responding immediately to, 224–225
Carr Fire, 151–153
Catch Me If You Can (film), 98
Celebrities, overcoming fear of, 118–120
Challenges, deciding not to respond to, 21
Chronological age, 173–176
Chung, Connie, 164
Cocking of the head, 9
Coffee, meeting for, 150
Comparing yourself to others, 169–171
Competitiveness, 48
Complainers, 40–42
Compliments, 104–106
Connecting with others, 143–159
and asking for what you want, 151–156
and finding “hidden gems,” 144–145
and power of the ask, 145–150
and showcasing your ask, 156–159
Contacts, keeping up with, 149–150
Control, 3–4
Conversation(s):
being left out of, 27–28
getting out of interminable, 11–12
responding to upsetting, 7
steering the, 140–141
(See also Survival speak)
Conversation starters, 101–102
Convictions, sticking to your, 86–87
Core group, having a, 208–209
Corpse flower, 157–159
Coworkers:
competition by, 48
personal data mining by, 53–55
prying by, 52–57
Craigslist, 219
Crazy Rich Asians (film), 22
Cronkite, Walter, 164
Crying, 7–8
D
Data mining, personal, 53–55
Debates, avoiding, 181
Decision making, 74
Deflecting, 34–35
Democratic National Convention, 128–129, 157
Details, describing the, 131–134
DiCaprio, Leonardo, 98
Digestibility, of feedback, 73
Direct, being, 12
Discussion, fostering, 181
Dodging the bullet, 213–215
Doubt, overcoming, 167–169
Downs, Hugh, 32
“Dress for the job you want,” 189
Drifting eyes, 9
Dumbledore (character), 64
E
East Coasters, 10
Ego, stroking someone’s, 35–36
Emails, reacting to upsetting, 6–7
Emerson College, 109
Emotion:
power of, when reacting, 3–7
showing, 7–8
Empathy:
listening with, 110
showing, 42
Empowerment:
by others, 182–186
of others, 181–182
Engaged:
avoiding being, 121
staying, 108–114
Enraged people, dealing with, 34
Equals, treating others as, 145
Escobar, Pablo, 121
The everywhere ask, 148
Examples, following feedback with, 73–74
Excuses, for making a graceful exit, 121
Extra attention, avoiding, 168
Eye contact:
with audience, 127
maintaining, 111–113
as visual cue, 8–9
F
Facebook, 62, 67, 75, 119, 150, 152, 158, 162, 172
Facts:
backing up with, 180–181
sticking to the, 92
Feedback:
getting, 66–72
giving, 72–75
Feeling, showing, 7–8
Feeling sorry for yourself, 207
Feigning ignorance, 56
Ferrell, Will, 32
Firm, being, 56–57
Follow-ups, when making a graceful exit, 121
Forbes magazine, 118
Ford, Christine Blasey, 83–84, 187
“Forgive and forget,” 24
Forgiveness, asking for, 130–131
Frank Abagnale, Jr. (character), 98
Friends, making, 60–64
Frowning, 9
F**k ups, everyday, 221–224
G
“Getting goodies back,” 63–64
Getting to the point, 127
Getting what you want, 42–46
Glazed-over eyes, 9
Gloss and Go, 31–35
Go-bags, 189
Golden State Warriors, 177, 181
Google, 133
Graceful exit, making a, 120–124
Groups:
core, 208–209
professional, 61–64
H
Handshakes, 107
Happy, finding what makes you, 166–167
Hazing periods, 49–50
“Hey, can I ask you a question?” approach, 102
“Hidden gems,” finding, 144–145
Hooking the audience, 126–127
HR, sexual harassment and going to, 90–92
Huffington, Arianna, 129
Humor, using, 29–31
Hurston, Zora Neale, 61
I
#IBelieveChristine, 84
Ignorance, feigning, 56
Immediacy, importance of, 224–225
“In,” finding an, 101–102
Instagram, 136, 152, 158, 172, 222
Interviewing, using silence when, 113–114
Intuition, using your, 203–204
Iwu, Adama, 79
J
Jennings, Peter, 209
John J. Heldrich Center for Workforce Development (Rutgers), 204
Joking, 29–31
K
Kavanaugh, Brett, 43, 45, 83–84
Kilauea volcano, 88
Kondo, Marie, 216
Kosciusko, Miss., 217
L
Laughing at yourself, 171–173
Laughter, 29–31
Layoffs:
being prepared for, 200–203
dealing with, 204–209
Leader, your inner, 5–6
Lee, Ed, 146–147
Left out, being, 27–28
Lim, Evan, 22
Listening:
with empathy, 110
encouraging, in others, 124–127
“Listening window,” 125
Look, finding your, 192–193
Lowest common denominator, finding the, 28–29
M
Making your own name, 163–167
Mantou, 99
Memorable, staying, 106–108
Mental inventories, 179
Microsoft, 124
Midland, Mich., 99
Milano, Alyssa, 79
Minaj, Nicki, 49–50
Mirroring, 117–118
Mistakes:
avoiding drawing extra attention to, 168
dealing with, 221–224
owning your, 224
steamrolling over, 168–169
Montana, Joe, 147
Motives, ulterior, 50–52
Mr. Holmes Bakehouse (San Francisco), 219
MSNBC, 129
Murrow, Edward R., 32
N
Name, making your own, 163–167
National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ), 106
Needs, anticipating others’, 190–191
Netflix, 216
Networking, 149–150, 202 (See also Connecting with others)
“No offense,” 17–18
The non-ask ask, 156
Nonvisual memory making, 107
Nooyi, Indra, 93
Notes, sending, 149–150
O
Obama, Michelle, 157
Obvious, stating the, 102–106
Offended, being, 17–18
Off-the-cuff remarks, making, 127–134
Opportunities, embracing new, 216–218
Over-complainers, 92
Owning your mistakes, 224
P
Passion, showing, 7–8
Pepsi, 93
Perez, Janete, 79
“Person on the street” sound bites, 102
Personal appearance, 187–197
and always being ready, 188–191
and appropriate attire, 193–197
and finding your look, 192–193
The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 61
Pet names, 93–95
Philadelphia, Pa., 213–214
Positive:
focusing on the, 213
reinforcing the, 155–159
Prepared, being, 44–45, 169, 200–203
Problem solving, steps for, 44–46
Professional groups, 61–64
Proof of performance, 156
Prying, by coworkers, 52–57
Public speaking:
fear of, 129
screw-ups when, 134–136
Punctual, being, 191
Purposeful asking, 147–148
Q
Quick responses, 136–139
Quirks, memorable, 107–108
R
Reacting, 1–24
by being blunt, 10–12
and eye contact, 8–9
and power of reactions, 3–7
and power of silence, 18–24
in “real life,” 15–17
and recognizing others’ reactions, 4
and regretting reactions, 12–18
showing passion and feeling when, 7–8
and stepping back, 14
visual cues when, 8–10
when offended, 17–18
to yelling, 19–21
Ready, always being, 188–191
Ready retorts, 136–139
Regret:
expressing, 39–40
reaction, 12–18
Rehearsing, 130
Rejection, 218–221
Relief, from being direct, 39
Respecting others, 179–180
Ron Burgundy (character), 32, 48
Rutgers University, 204
S
San Francisco, Calif., 146–147, 225–226
Sandwich technique, 155
Self-control, 4
Self-depreciation, 171–173
Setbacks, career (see Career setbacks)
Severe weather, covering, 194–196
Sexism, 87
Sexual harassment, 77–95
escalating the response to, 83–87
pet names as form of, 93–95
and standing up for yourself and others, 87–90
step-wise response to, 79–83
and when to go to HR, 90–92
Shifting eyes, 9
Side chat, mastering the, 28–29
Side hustling, 202–203
Sign-offs, anchor, 31–33
Silence:
calculated, 21–24
power of, 18–24
using, when interviewing, 113–114
“Simon” (game), 111
Skirting, 42
Smiling, 104
Social Bermuda Triangle, 27–28
Social media, maintaining relationships via, 150
Socializing, overcoming fear of, 99–101
Solution, proposing a, 156
Standing up for yourself and others, 87–90
Staying engaged, 108–114
Staying on topic, 86
Steering the conversation, 140–141
Stepping back, 14
Stop Street Harassment, 78
Storytelling, 4
Surroundings, getting a feel for your, 103–104
Survival speak, 97–141
and ad-libbing, 127–134
and finding an “in,” 101–102
and getting others to listen, 124–127
and handling public-speaking screw-ups, 134–136
and making a graceful exit, 120–124
and overcoming fear of celebrities, 118–120
and overcoming fear of socializing, 99–101
and researching others’ backgrounds, 115–118
and responding to “what do you do?,” 139
and stating the obvious, 102–106
and staying engaged, 108–114
and staying memorable, 106–108
and steering the conversation, 140–141
and using ready retorts, 136–139
T
Tabloids, 126
TaskRabbit, 219
Teleprompters, 129–130
Testing the waters, 57–60
“Thank you,” as response to compliments, 104, 106
Thinking, reacting without, 6
Thousand Oaks, Calif., 154
Time, precious nature of, 121
Time magazine, 147
Tone matching, 83
Toxic relationships, 183–186
Traits, memorable, 107–108
Trust, learning to, 57–60
U
“Uhms,” avoiding, 127
Ulterior motives, 50–52
University of California, Berkeley, 187
University of Cambridge, 146
Unresolved issues, handling, 16–17
V
Vague answers, giving, 55
“Verbal vortex,” 11
Viral videos, racially-charged, 221–224
Visual cues, 8–10
W
Walking speed, 10
Watching your back, 47–75
and bullying by others, 64–66
and getting feedback, 66–72
and giving feedback, 72–75
and learning to trust, 57–60
and making friends, 60–64
with prying coworkers, 52–57
and surviving the hazing period, 49–50
and ulterior motives, 50–52
Weinstein, Harvey, 79
“What do you do?,” responding to, 139
What you want, getting, 42–46
Whiners, 40–42
will.i.am, 147
Women in the World, 93
Women’s March (San Francisco), 79, 147
Woodruff, Bob, 115–116
Work samples, keeping, 201–202
Y
Yelling, 19–21
Yourself, believing in (see Believing in yourself)