NOTES
PREFACE
1. James Tamm and Les Chisholm, “Does Interest Bargaining Really Work: A Test Using PERB Data,” California Public Employee Relations (CPER) 101, (August 1993). For additional information see endnote 2 for appendix 1.
2. This study defined “conflict” as the number of cases filed with the California Public Employment Relations Board in the following three areas:
An “unfair practice charge” (i.e., labor-management litigation).
An impasse in contract negotiations where it had been determined that further negotiations would be futile without the appointment of a state mediator.
A failure of the mediation process that led to the creation of a fact-finding panel.
3. “Analysis of Beyond Conflict Post-Workshop Survey,” 1999.
4. Clair Brown and Vince Valvano, “Analysis of Post-workshop Evaluation,” January 15, 1991, Institute of Industrial Relations, University of California, Berkeley.
5. Until his death in November 2002, Will Schutz was one of the most respected leaders in the field of human relations and organizational development. His FIRO B questionnaire and Elements of Awareness are some of the most widely used psychometric instruments throughout the world. He served on the faculty of Harvard University, the University of California at Berkeley, and the University of Chicago, among others. He created and chaired the graduate department of holistic studies at Antioch University, San Francisco. Schutz is the creator of The Human Element, an integrated series of modules that address organizational development and compatibility, including many of the concepts that we address in this book.
6. FIRO: A Three-Dimensional Theory of Interpersonal Behavior (3rd ed., 1989) contains the original explanation of Will Schutz’s FIRO theory. The book introduces the well-known FIRO B measure (later significantly revised and updated as the FIRO Element B), provides a literature search, and describes the variables.
7. Roger Fisher is the Samuel Williston Professor of Law, Emeritus, Harvard Law School. Along with William Ury and Bruce Patton, Roger Fisher coauthored Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (Penguin Books, 2nd ed., 1991).
INTRODUCTION: THE FIVE ESSENTIALS
1. This is a composite picture of several districts Jim has worked with as a mediator and consultant. In several examples, identifying facts are changed as well. The substance of the disputes or the points made are, however, accurate reflections of the situations we have encountered.
2. See for example, Robert Kelley and Janet Caplan, “How Bell Labs Creates Star Performers,” Harvard Business Review, July-August 1993.
3. From Steven Kelner’s presentation at the 2004 annual conference of the Association of Internal Management Consultants.
4. Stan Slap is a consultant specializing in branding and strategic implementation. He can be reached at www.slapworld.com.
5. Don White is now a partner in the consulting firm of Barton and White.
6. Shogo Saito, “The Human Element in Japan,” in The Human Element , Work: A Fieldbook of Projects Transforming People and Organizations Around the World (BCon WSA International, Inc., 2004).
7. Maxi Trope, “The People Puzzle,” The Human Element , Work.
8. Marie Larssen and Anna-Karin Neuman, “Doing a Freys,” The Human Element , Work.
CHAPTER 1: ATTITUDE AND INTENTION
1. Jim Collins, Good to Great (HarperCollins Publishers, 2001).
2. Larry Ellison offered the classic example of Red Zone thinking while he was being interviewed by the San Francisco Chronicle newspaper, June 10, 2003. The article noted that Ellison frequently paraphrases a thirteenth-century Mongol warlord: “It’s not enough that we win; everyone else must lose.”
3. Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence (Bantam Books, 1995).
4. See also Joseph LeDoux, The Emotional Brain (Touchstone/Simon & Schuster, 1996).
5. Deborah Tannen, The Argument Culture (Ballantine, 1998).
6. John P. Kotter and James L. Heskett, Corporate Culture and Performance (The Free Press, 1992).
CHAPTER 2: HEY, BUZZ OFF!… I AM NOT DEFENSIVE!
1. “Happiness: Proven Ways to Increase Life Satisfaction and Meaningfulness,” a preliminary draft of a manuscript in progress by Gary A. Chapin, 2004-
2. Some details of the three Conflict Lifeline examples have been changed to assure the anonymity of workshop participants.
3. In her excellent book The Tending Instinct, UCLA psychologist Shelley Taylor makes a strong case that instead of flight, fight, or freeze, some people, particularly women, turn to social instincts to both give and receive comfort. Taylor refers to this alternative approach as “tend and befriend.” Shelley Taylor, The Tending Instinct: How Nurturing Is Essential to Who We Are and How We Live (Times Books, Henry Holt and Company LLC, 2002).
4. It is possible to cultivate this “witnessing” part of us. Gaining perspective allows us to be more conscious and base our behavior on our deepest values and intentions rather than just being “reactive” in the moment. It is helpful, from time to time, to pull back and observe our patterns, feelings, and behaviors. This does not mean we are always standing outside ourselves watching. Full engagement and the absence of die “observing self,” what has been called flow, is a supremely delightful state to be in. For more information about this state of consciousness see Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (Harper & Row, 1990).
CHAPTER 3: UNHOOKING YOUR BUTTONS
1. This is a modification of a five-step tool created by Will Schutz called the Levels of Openness/Truth. The tool assists individuals in creating greater openness.
CHAPTER 4: THE GRAND SIMPLIFIER
1. During his years in residence at Esalen Institute, Will Schutz conducted “Endarkenment” workshops where participants explored the shadow side of their personality.
2. Although the concept is not new, Will Schutz first described the tool as First-Truth-First.
3. A. Mehrabian and S. R. Ferris, “Inference of Attitudes from Non-verbal Communication in Two Channels.” Journal of Consulting Psychology 31 (1967): 248-52; A. Mehrabian and M. Wiener, “Decoding of Inconsistent Communications,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 6 (1967): 109-14- Mehrabian’s research was followed by additional research by Professor Michael Argyle and his colleagues: M. Argyle, F. Alkema, and R. Gilmour, “The Communication of Friendly and Hostile Attitudes by Verbal and Nonverbal Signals.” (Unpublished manuscript, Institute of Experimental Psychology, Oxford University, 1971); and M. Argyle, V. Salter, H. Nicholson, M. Williams, and P. Burgess, “The Communication of Inferior and Superior Attitudes by Verbal and Nonverbal Signals,” British Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 9 (1970): 222-31.
4. Albert Mehrabian, Silent Messages (Wadsworth Publishing Company, 1971), 46-47. In his book, Professor Mehrabian offers an extensive analysis of the impact of nonverbal behavior on communications.
CHAPTER 6: MAKING CHOICES AND TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEM
1. Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning. First published in 1946 under the title Ein Psychologe erlebt das Konzentrationslager. First translation published by Beacon Press in 1959, revised 1962; Washington Square Press, 1995.
2. John Mirowsky and Catherine Ross, Social Causes of Psychological Distress, 2nd ed. (Aldine De Gruyter, a Division of Walter de Gruyter, Inc., 2003).
3. We’ve changed several of the identifying factors to assure the anonymity of the employees.
4. Being trusted is a foundation for being a successful leader. To assist leaders in collecting specific feedback about how they are evaluated by those they lead, Ron has developed a Trustworthy Leader Survey surveying such components of trustworthiness as clear intention, openness, accountability, self-awareness, mutuality, authenticity, and skillful action.
CHAPTER 7: UNDERSTANDING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR IN RELATIONSHIPS
1. For a deeper understanding of the FIRO theory we suggest you read Schutz, The Human Element: Productivity, Self-Esteem and the Bottom Line (Jossey-Bass, 1994). For individuals particularly interested in the statistical research underlying FIRO theory see Schutz, FIRO: A Three-Dimensional Theory of Interpersonal Behavior, 3rd ed. (South San Francisco, CA: 1989). For additional information about FIRO-based instruments, see appendix 2.
2. A comparison of the scores provided by the two instruments created by Dr. Schutz follows.
3. In the older FIRO B, Schutz used the term affection rather than openness. When he updated the instrument creating the FIRO Element B, he changed the term to openness. Schutz believed that affection was more of a feeling that was reflected by the behavior of openness and that openness was therefore a more accurate term for what he was seeking to measure.
4. Schutz’s research determined a slight bow in the midrange scores.
5. While some individuals used this insight into how they were dealing with the dissatisfaction in their lives, many of the men had little institutional or family support to make any changes. A number of them chose to make no changes in spite of such little happiness. Without any support systems, the risk of change was greater than their dissatisfaction.
For examples and additional information about how FIRO theory and the FIRO Element B are being used in culturally diverse coaching programs in Brazil, United Kingdom, Denmark, Mexico, France, and the United States see Coach: A Partner for Your Success, Ane Araujo (Marcondes & Consultores Associados, 1999); The Human Element , Work: A Fieldbook of Projects Transforming People and Organizations Around the World (BCon WSA International, Inc., 2004); and Leadership et Confiance, Alain Duluc (Dunod, 2003).
6. W B. Alexander, R. A. Gonzales, J. F. Herminghaus, G. Marwel, and L. Wheeless, “Personality Variables and Predictability of Interaction Patterns in Small Groups,” unpublished paper, Massachusetts Institute of Technology. The objective of this study was to explore the interpersonal relations in a fraternity at MIT. The data was made available to Dr. Schutz and he wrote about the study in his books FIRO: A Three-Dimensional Theory of Interpersonal Behavior (3rd ed. 1989, WSA) and The Human Element: Productivity, Self-Esteem and the Bottom Line (1994, Jossey-Bass).
CHAPTER 9: BREAKING FREE OF THE PAST ONE THOUGHT AT A TIME
1. The meditations in Stephen Levine’s book Guided Meditations, Explorations and Healings (Doubleday, 1991) are also very helpful for developing compassion and healing from past trauma, gaining a greater degree of self-acceptance, and learning forgiveness of those who have hurt you.
2. Traditionally, one of the most direct ways of developing an objective observer is through the practice of some form of meditation. We have recently noted an increase in use of meditation practices in many business executive education programs, and we highly recommend you consider exploring a practice or method that fits you. Many local recreation departments, hospitals, fitness centers, and religious institutions teach meditation methods. One of the most accessible and well-researched forms of meditation is called MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction). The MBSR method was developed by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn and his colleagues at the Stress Reduction Clinic of the University of Massachusetts Medical Center. The MBSR program is fully described in Dr. Kabat-Zinn’s book, Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness (Dell Publishing, 1990).
3. Each January for over thirty years, Jim has been meeting for at least four days with a group of college friends. While they see each other during the year, this time is specifically set aside for personal growth. It has been Jim’s single most powerful tool for self-awareness and personal growth.
The success of Jim’s group has been enhanced by several factors:
They have continuity. They’ve known each other well for over thirty-five years. Together they’ve been through the birth of children and the death of parents, retirements and career changes, betrayals, relative wealth and financial setbacks, several divorces, even more marriages, and a few infidelities scattered along the way. They’ve also shared countless mistakes and celebrated even more successes.
They commit to a common purpose. The January time is set aside for self-awareness and personal growth. It’s not time for golf or parties. It’s a time for exploration of the ways they are living their lives.
They commit to telling each other the truth. If they ever adopted a motto for those retreats, it would be “The truth is spoken here.” Having the advantage of a thirty-five-year history makes it difficult to BS each other.
They hold each other accountable. If members commit to working on an issue during the next year, they’d better be ready to report on their progress at the next group. For the past twenty-five years, the last day of each year’s meeting is devoted to videotaping. Each member does a review of the previous year and a preview of the upcoming year. Making your commitments on videotape ups the ante.
They keep a long-term perspective. Most significant change happens slowly over time, rather than in a blinding flash of light. Twenty-five years of videotapes support that belief. No one tries to change the world overnight. Typically everyone is working on one or two issues at a time over the long term. They each, in their own way, seek to build a rich, authentic life in their own style.
CHAPTER 10: STRATEGIES FOR COLLABORATIVE SUCCESS
1. Neil Bodine, “Interest-Based Aikido: Taming the Positional Tiger,” a white paper published by the Center for Collaborative Solutions. Neil Bodine is a partner in the firm of Beeson, Tayer & Bodine, which specializes in the representation of public- and private-sector labor unions. He is also the founder of The Workplace Institute and director of education and training at the Center for Collaborative Solutions. In the paper Mr. Bodine credits the term interest-based aikido to Steve Barber.
2. Vance A. Kennedy, Awareness and Choice: A Workbook in Human Relations (Belmont, CA: Pea Press, 2000).
3. The Radiant Transit Exercise is available for purchase in English, Spanish, French, or Swedish.
4. The simulation is based upon an old game-theory scenario called Prisoner’s Dilemma. In that scenario, two thieves are arrested and kept in separate rooms unable to communicate with each other. If neither prisoner confesses (i.e., collaboration between the prisoners), the police will still have enough evidence to convict both and sentence them to one year in prison. If only one prisoner confesses (defecting from the relationship), it will insure that he does not go to prison, but that his partner goes to prison for a long sentence. If they both confess (they both defect from the relationship), both of them will go to prison for a long sentence. Of course, since they can’t communicate with each other, they have to decide on their own whether to collaborate and remain silent or defect by confessing. There are many simulations other than Prisoner’s Dilemma for modeling social and business decision making; however, we have found that Prisoner’s Dilemma tends to bring out more of the participants’ unconscious competitive or collaborative strategies that make for a rich debriefing session when they are related back to the participants’ employment environment. For an excellent discussion of some of the implications of this game, we suggest chapters 3 and 4 of Matt Ridley’s The Origins of Virtue: Human Instincts and the Evolution of Cooperation (Penguin Books, 1996) and Elinor Ostrom’s The Commons (Cambridge University Press, 1990).
5. Authors vary widely about the wisdom of making the first offer in a negotiation. Some believe that making the first offer provides an opportunity to anchor the expectations of the other side at either a much higher or much lower figure, therefore creating an advantage. Others disagree, believing that it is better to get the other side to make the first offer, thus revealing important information about their expectations and strategy. We believe that using an interest-based approach to negotiations minimizes the advantage or disadvantage (however you look at it) of making the first offer, since any possible options should be thoroughly discussed and measured against your underlying interests.
6. James Tamm and Les Chisholm, “Does Interest Bargaining Really Work: A Test Using PERB Data,” California Public Employee Relations (CPER) 101 (August 1993). For additional information see endnote 2 for appendix 1.
7. “Analysis of Beyond Conflict Post-Workshop Survey,” 1999.
CHAPTER 11 : WE’VE GOT A PROBLEM; NOW WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?
1. Ellen F. Wachtel, We Love Each Other, But: Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationships and Make Love Last (St. Martin’s Press, 1999).
2. James Tamm and Les Chisholm, “Does Interest Bargaining Really Work: A Test Using PERB Data,” California Public Employee Relations (CPER) 101 (August 1993). For additional information see endnote 2 for appendix 1.
CHAPTER 12: HOW DO WE GET STARTED?
1. Dr. Schutz found that as groups develop, the predominant areas of interpersonal behavior begin with inclusion, followed by control, and finally openness. He also found that as groups anticipate termination, they follow the opposite sequence, in that the predominant areas of interpersonal behavior relate first to openness, followed by control and finally by inclusion. Will Schutz, FIRO: A Three-Dimensional Theory of Interpersonal Behavior, 3rd ed. 1989, WSA.
CHAPTER 14: WHAT DOES EVERYBODY REALLY NEED?
1. All the negotiating time was a period to get to know each other and to build the relationship upon which the real business would be conducted. Most of the successful negotiations were completed over banquet dinners, toasting each other’s success and the successful venture. It was the friendship between the parties that sealed any deal. It was not the bottom line, because the parties could almost always get as good a deal someplace else.
Dean Teng also encountered strong gender issues during her negotiations. Dean Teng, who is bilingual, bicultural, and biliterate in different Chinese dialects, always found it a challenge to negotiate with male Chinese executives. For example, when she met with top executives of an international airline in China, they always directed their comments to Dean Teng’s assistant, a Caucasian male. Any negotiator without Dean Teng’s bicultural experience and negotiating savvy could waste months, if not years, just determining who is in charge and who can make decisions. Most Americans want to ride into China like John Wayne, negotiate a contract, and get out of town. Most end up being disappointed because of their lack of awareness of cultural issues and impatience.
CHAPTER 15: WHAT SHOULD WE DO IF WE CAN’T REACH A SOLUTION?
1. In their popular book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving in (Penguin Books, 2nd ed., 1991), Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton refer to this as a BATNA, or Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement.
CHAPTER 16: NOW WE GET TO THE FUN PART!
1. The American Arbitration Association (AAA) at www.adr.org is a good source for finding qualified expert arbitrators. Some states, such as California, also have mediation and arbitration services. In California contact the California State Mediation and Conciliation Service (SMCS) at www.dir.ca.gov/csmcs. The Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service also provides similar services at www.fmcs.gov.
2. Steven]. Brams and Alan D. Taylor, The Win-Win Solution: Guaranteeing Fair Shares to Everybody (W.W. Norton & Company, 1999).
3. This was reported in the “Other Perspectives” column by reporter Carol Smith of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
CHAPTER 17: PUTTING THE PUZZLE TOGETHER
1. Steve Barber is a partner in the Barber & Gonzales Consulting Group. In the article “Multiparty Applications of the Interest Approach” published by Barber & Gonzalez Consulting Group, Barber says he typically works with four types of disputes:
Highly polarized settings where parties are at “war” but realize that at some point the fighting will cease. They will either run out of ammunition or have an equilibrium of power to continue to stalemate each other.
Simply contentious situations where the parties act out past win-lose injuries in their current situation.
Strained and suspicious relationships where the parties are making a conscious effort to succeed with each other but are wary of “those other guys.”
Rational and purposeful relationships that honor the principles of a positive relationship through an effective negotiation process.
2. The Straw Design as a Closure Tool is a derivative of a document developed for and copyrighted by the California Foundation for Improvement of Employer-Employee Relations (CFIER). It is modified and reprinted with permission.
3. A great description of different closure styles is available in the book When Talk Works: Profiles of Mediators by Deborah M. Kolb and Associates (Jossey: Bass Publishers, 1994).
4. Will Schutz developed a decision-making process called Concordance, which is like a high-octane version of consensus. Concordance stresses the importance of paying attention to issues of Inclusion, Control, and Openness. The Inclusion criterion states that the decision-making team consists of those who know most about the content of the decision and those who are the most affected by it. The Control criterion states that every person on the decision-making team has equal control or power and that everyone has a veto. The Openness criterion for Concordance, which is what distinguishes it most from consensus, is a requirement that everyone commit to being totally open and honest. Everyone must commit to openly expressing all relevant thoughts and feelings. Openness means not withholding; failing to say something relevant is as much a violation of the openness principle as intentionally lying. It is a “withholding lie.” Using Concordance, what is lost in decision-making time is more than gained back when implementing the decision. Schutz used Concordance successfully in such high-profile, controversial decisions as distribution of annual salary bonuses and hospital staffing, as well as more mundane decisions.
CHAPTER 18: GET REAL
1. The FIRO Element O provides a measure of satisfaction within the organization in the areas of inclusion, control, openness, significance, competence, and likability. The data can be reported for the organization as a whole, and/or for divisions, departments, teams, relationships, and individuals. See appendix 2 for additional information.
GLOSSARY
1. For a deeper understanding of the theory we suggest you read Will Schutz, The Human Element: Productivity, Self-Esteem and the Bottom Line (Jossey Bass, 1994). For individuals particularly interested in the statistical research underlying FIRO theory, see FIRO: A Three-Dimensional Theory of Interpersonal Behavior, 3rd ed. (South San Francisco, CA: 1989). For additional information about FIRO-based instruments see chapters 7 and 8 and appendix 2.
APPENDIX 1: RESEARCH REPORT
1. Clair Brown and Vince Valvano, Analysis of Post Workshop Evaluation, January 15, 1991, Institute of Industrial Relations, University of California, Berkeley.
2. James Tamm and Les Chisholm, “Does Interest Bargaining Really Work: A Test Using PERB Data,” California Public Employee Relations (CPER) (August 1993). This study researched the files of the California Public Employment Relations Board (PERB), which is the state agency with jurisdiction over labor-management disputes in the public sector. PERB keeps accurate data of all public sector unfair-labor-practice cases filed in the state by unions against management, management against unions, and individuals against either unions, or management. PERB also keeps accurate records of any time the parties reach an impasse in bargaining and request a mediator or a fact-finding panel. Thus, Tamm and Chisholm were able to accurately research the dispute history of all the parties attending the Improving the Labor-Management Relationship training program sponsored by the State and the Hewlett and Stuart Foundations.
The study reviewed all the parties attending the training for the first three and one-half years of the project. A total of ninety-four labor-management relationships were included in the study. No parties were included in the study unless they had completed the training at least six months earlier in order to avoid a “honeymoon” effect. The research was organized by the length of time that had elapsed since the parties had experienced the training: thirty-six months or more; twenty-four to thirty-five months; twenty-four months or more (combining the first two categories); seven to twenty-three months; and seven months or more (all relationships). The average rate of PERB cases filed was then calculated for each group (both before and after) and the rates were compared. The reduction in the rate of PERB filings for the 36+ group was 85 percent; for the 24-35 group, 80 percent; for the 24+ group, 82 percent; for the 7-23 group, 44 percent; and the overall reduction was 67 percent. When the relationships with the highest and lowest number of filings were excluded from the calculations to see if the extremes were creating unreliable averages, the total reduction jumped from 67 percent up to 74 percent.
Tamm and Chisholm also considered the impact of any statewide reduction in the number of labor-management disputes. They discovered an across-the-board reduction in the number of labor-management disputes of 23 percent. Hence some of the decline in the rates of filings in the sample relationships may be explained by a trend of unknown origin, such as economic conditions or changes in the law, or a general increase in experience in the bargaining process. But this general reduction in labor disputes during the time of the study by no means explains the exceptionally large reduction among training participants. To a degree, however, the large reduction of the parties included in the study helps explain the general decrease in filings in the state.
At the time of the study Tamm was a senior administrative law judge for PERB in the San Francisco office. Chisholm was the regional director of PERB’s Sacramento regional office.
3. In 1990, the California legislature authorized the creation of a nonprofit foundation called CFIER (California Foundation for the Improvement of Employer-Employee Relations) to continue the PERB training. The CFIER program was limited to labor-management disputes within public sector constituents. In 2001, CFIER merged with another nonprofit organization, The Workplace Institute, which was focused on building collaborative labor-management relationships in the private sector. The merged organization was renamed the Center for Collaborative Solutions (CCS) and has greatly broadened its scope. CCS is a particularly strong resource in the field of after-school programs. CCS can be contacted at www.ccscenter.org.
4. The company was at that time named Will Schutz Associates (WSA). The company was purchased by WSA’s largest international affiliate partner, Business Consultants, Inc. The company was renamed BCon WSA International, Inc., and is now Business Consultants Network, Inc.
5. FIRO theory was created for the U.S. military by Dr. Will Schutz. For a more complete description see chapter 7, “Understanding Your Own Behavior in Relationships,” or see Will Schutz, The Human Element: Productivity, Self-Esteem and the Bottom Line (Jossey-Bass, 1994). For individuals particularly interested in the statistical research underlying FIRO theory see Will Schutz, FIRO: A Three-Dimensional Theory of Interpersonal Behavior, 3rd ed. (South San Francisco, CA: 1989).
6. Professor Barba is currently director of Business Administration Studies at Universidad Tec de Monterrey in Cuernavaca, Mexico. Professor Barba’s 1999 study is titled “Analysis of Beyond Conflict Post-Workshop Survey.”
7. Because Professor Barba asked participants about their current effectiveness rather than their effectiveness immediately after the workshop, she noted that there may have been other influencing factors that were not measured by her survey. She noted, for example, that other workshops or a general increase in maturity level or additional living experience may also have contributed to an increase in effectiveness in conflicted situations. She also noted, however, that the consistent theme of answers to open-ended questions in the survey strongly suggested that participants viewed the skills learned in the workshop as the single most important factor in their increased effectiveness.