TWO

Authenticity

True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.

—Brené Brown

Leadership is your ability to positively influence yourself and others toward shared goals. This requires a kind of authenticity that very few leaders have discovered or developed. This authenticity requires equal doses of self-fullness and agility.

Leadership is not just about others. It starts and ends with how we lead ourselves. You can’t lead others until you can lead yourself. “The true work of leadership is always an inside job,” says Bobby Herrera, cofounder and CEO of Populus Group.

This inside job of leadership requires permission and courage to really explore and accept who you are. How does personality relate? PCM conceptualizes personality as being made of up six distinct types. Each of the types has associated with it a unique set of characteristics, including preferred communication styles and motivators. While one of the types is strongest in each of us, all humans have all six types within their personality in a particular order, arranged much like the floors of a condominium. Everyone has the same six floors, but the order of the floors might be different. Our overall personality architecture influences how we function best and how we are able to access and energize each of the six types to meet any challenge. So when you look inside you will recognize that everything “out there” is also “in here.”

Leadership agility involves learning how to access and energize any floor in order to assess, connect, communicate, motivate, and grow.

Self-fullness is about knowing, appreciating, caring for, and maximizing your unique personality structure and all that goes with it. You can’t influence yourself properly without awareness and management of your personality. Many people equate authenticity with “being true to yourself.” Being true to yourself from a PCM perspective means you can’t rely on just one or two of the six types, or adopt an attitude that your strongest part is the best part. Being true to yourself means honoring all six types within you.

None of the types within us exists in isolation. You can’t take them out of context. You can’t lift one up or tear one down without affecting the others. This is one mistake many people make when learning about personality. It’s so tempting to adopt a label and overemphasize one thing instead of becoming more flexible and responsible. They are all a part of us, and they all influence each other. It’s important to recognize the unique energies and characteristics of each type so we can become more self-aware and live more fully and authentically.

Leadership is also about influencing others toward shared goals. Great leaders help everyone become more and do more by realizing the potential in their personality. This requires agility, a leader’s ability to adapt communication and motivation strategies to connect with and influence all six types in others. In PCM terms, it’s affectionately called “riding your elevator.”

The foundation for agility begins by recognizing that personality isn’t about types of people, but types in people. You can’t appreciate another person until you can appreciate yourself and see the connection between you. Leveraging personality differences isn’t about finding the positives in people who are “different” from you. It’s about embracing that diversity within you first, then connecting with others by seeing that part of you in them. PCM teaches leaders how to energize all six types in them so that they can positively influence those same types in others.

When it comes to personality, if you focus first on how someone is different, you are shutting down a part of you and you lose your capacity to connect through empathy. This can lead to “othering,” and makes it a lot easier to act on prejudice. When you recognize that the diversity within us means we are all connected, then you can also recognize that prejudice is rooted in labeling and judging a piece of ourselves first. Indictment of self is what leads to rejection of others. So, leaders who want to be inclusive must start by including all those types within themselves.

Agility might seem contrary to authenticity. It’s not unusual for people to get nervous about adapting their style or approach for others. It feels foreign and awkward, so it’s natural to conclude, “This just isn’t me.” The problem with this conclusion is that it assumes that I have to be something foreign in order to connect with you. That’s not at all true. Since we all have all six types in us, the discomfort comes from accessing those less developed parts in us. Agility means finding those parts within me that match another person’s strongest parts and developing them so that I can be more effective.

Consider this definition of authenticity through the lens of PCM.

Leadership does not require us to change into something we aren’t. It requires us to grow more fully into ourselves. Authenticity is about discovering, embracing, and developing the full capacity of your personality and using that to help others do the same.

Resource guides at the end of this chapter give an overview of the key features of each Kahler personality type in us.

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“Honestly, I don’t see the point of another personality test,” Kayla declared to Lucas. “The last time I did something like this it totally backfired.”

“So far you’ve liked everything you’ve seen at ProcessCorp,” replied Lucas. “Why not go into it with an open mind? You never know what you’ll learn.”

Kayla found the online questionnaire to be more difficult than she expected. She was asked to rank various sets of statements according to how well they described her. Some were pretty basic, and others required more reflection. Some questions asked her how she acted when she wasn’t in a great space. These were the difficult ones. She didn’t like to think about it and wasn’t always proud of the not-so-pretty stuff. She had her own closet of skeletons and hoped to God that the PCM Profile wouldn’t uncover them. She did her best to be honest, trying not to worry about how someone might interpret her results.

PEOPLE ARE NOT THE PROBLEM

Bennett met Kayla in the lobby at ProcessCorp with the same bright smile and friendly tone she remembered from their first meeting. “First on the agenda is your meeting with our founder and CEO, Samantha Bryce. Sam is really looking forward to meeting you today. Can I get you a cup of coffee or anything else to drink while we head to her office?”

Sam’s office wasn’t what Kayla expected. It wasn’t huge, it wasn’t a corner office, and it wasn’t that fancy. It had a fair-sized desk with a bookcase behind it, a sitting area with several comfortable-looking chairs and a coffee table, and an open space with a whiteboard on the wall. “Sam will be here shortly,” Bennett reassured before he left. “Feel free to look around and make yourself comfortable.”

On the bookcase, Kayla noticed quite a few pictures of people who looked like family and friends, a couple of awards, several plaques, and some framed letters. One of the letters was a thank you from a customer; another was from a retired employee expressing gratitude for his experience working at ProcessCorp. One of the plaques was a recognition for 20 years of service. The other one contained what looked like a home-made card signed by a bunch of people. Before Kayla could read it, she heard an enthusiastic voice behind her.

“Good morning, Kayla. I’m Samantha. You can call me Sam. I am so glad you are here.” Kayla turned around to greet the CEO. Sam’s face was not nearly as expressive as Bennett’s but she radiated energy and warmth. Kayla introduced herself.

“I see you are checking out my shrine,” Sam said. “I like to surround myself with the relationships that give me energy and remind me about what’s most important in life. I look forward to sharing these with you and learning about those same things in your life. How about we sit down and get to know each other?”

After some small talk and general introductions, Sam’s face turned serious, but not scary. She leaned forward in her chair and took a deep breath. “As Pauline shared with you, I really value and enjoy welcoming new people to ProcessCorp. I believe that while not everyone has a leadership role or title, everyone is called to lead. Leadership is not a position or role, it’s a way of life. And leadership is not just about others. It starts with each of us. It starts and ends with how we lead ourselves.

“ProcessCorp exists to help improve relationships so that people can be happier, more satisfied, and more productive. When I founded this company 21 years ago, I had been working in manufacturing for most of my life. I was well-educated in business strategy and lean process management and had more certifications than I can name. What I noticed was that no matter how great the solution, how efficient the process, or how well structured the standard operating procedures, they relied on people to get it done. People are more complicated and messy than any production line. People have feelings, ideas, motivations, glitches, baggage, passions, and relationships. And it affects how they do their work. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t engineer out the human element. I saw humans as a distraction, a source of inefficiencies.

“I became cynical toward people. I found myself frequently criticizing my employees, believing they were lazy, stupid, and disorganized. I didn’t necessarily say those words, but I was thinking them! I thought I was carrying most of the load and complained about others not doing their fair share. I micromanaged my employees and didn’t allow them to figure things out or make mistakes. I wasn’t happy and I was making life miserable for everyone around me.

“I’m pretty stubborn. It took a lot of suffering before I finally realized that I couldn’t get rid of the people. I actually needed them. I began to think that maybe people aren’t the problem. Maybe they are actually the key to success. People are the most significant factor in the success of any system or process. In fact, humans, and our relationships with each other, are both the cause and the solution to our toughest problems. ProcessCorp specializes in understanding, embracing, and leveraging the human operating system as a key to success for all other operating systems.”

LEADERSHIP STARTS WITH ME

Kayla’s mind was racing. “Oh my God!” she blurted out. “That’s so true! I get it. I love relationships and people. They are the most important thing. I can think of so many situations in my past where leaders completely missed the mark and treated us like we were the problem. If they would have just gotten to know us, it would have been different.”

“I’m glad that you appreciate the value of relationships. That’s one of the reasons we hired you. And, it’s not about them. It’s not about your past bosses, or the other leaders in your life. Your leadership potential starts inside of you.”

Kayla immediately felt embarrassed and self-conscious and sunk into her chair, worried about how Sam would judge her outburst. “Here I go again, wearing my heart on my sleeve, and this is what always happens!” Kayla admonished herself. She wanted to apologize but before she could say anything, Sam continued with a nurturing tone. “Kayla, you are a creative and caring person. We are so glad you are on our team. We are investing in you because we know you can make a big difference. My hunch is that you’ve not been given the permission to really explore who you are, what makes you tick, and how you function best. That’s the most important part of leadership, and I want to support you along that journey. You certainly have my permission. Are you interested?”

Kayla remembered her uncertainty when asked those same types of questions on the application. How did Sam know? She had a brief flashback to experiences growing up where she got the message from her dad that her needs and feelings weren’t valid. “Don’t feel bad, it’s fine.” She could hear his voice as if he were in the room. Kayla felt a little less self-conscious after Sam’s permission, but still expected a “but” at any minute. You know, the but that comes after someone affirms you, just before they tell you what you did wrong.

Nevertheless, she took a risk. “Yes, I am interested. Where do we start?”

“Terrific. There’s no right way to go on a leadership journey. I have discovered, however, that there are signposts, traps, challenges, and tasks along the way. At ProcessCorp we’ve determined some very important aspects of leadership that we want everyone to understand and practice. They are critical to the integrity of our culture, and ultimately to our business success. It’s all tied together. We are all on this journey, at different places along the way.

“I have the results of the questionnaire you completed, and we will take a look at some of them today. Before we do that, however, I’d love to hear about your experience taking the questionnaire. What feelings and reactions did you have?”

“I was skeptical at first,” Kayla responded. “I’ve done two personality tests before and they didn’t turn out well. It turned into more of a weapon than anything else.”

“I hear you,” Sam reassured. “You aren’t alone. I do want to clarify something right up front. The questionnaire you took is not a test. There are no right or wrong answers. There is no evaluation or judgment. You are okay no matter what the results say. Framing it as a test really sends a dangerous message, though. I think that’s where things can get off to a negative start. When we take a ‘test,’ we are conditioned to think there are right and wrong answers, that we will be graded, or that we might be compared to others. Let me guess, when you did the other personality profiles, did you and your peers compare results, and do you think anyone felt like maybe they were better or worse than someone else?”

“Totally! I remember even during the debrief from the consultant, we were all trying to see each other’s results and comparing scores. I remember feeling really exposed and worried when he said that our results would be shared with our boss who wasn’t even in the room.”

“I’m sorry that happened, Kayla. That must have been tough. Anything else you want to share about your experience taking the questionnaire?”

“Yeah, I found it more difficult than I expected. Some of the questions were really hard. I didn’t like admitting some of the stuff about myself, and at the same time, some of the statements really didn’t apply to me.”

“Me too!” Sam empathized, “I remember experiencing the same thing. That’s okay, and thank you for your honesty. Let me tell you a little bit about what’s behind the questionnaire and what you are about to see. The questionnaire is an assessment based on the Process Communication Model, a model of personality that focuses on how people communicate with one another. I’ll just call it PCM for short. It was created by a clinical psychologist named Taibi Kahler. If you want to read all about the history of Taibi Kahler and PCM, I’m happy to give you a resource.¹ I’ll just give you the highlights.

PEOPLE ARE MORE PREDICTABLE THAN YOU THINK

“Dr. Kahler discovered a subtle pattern of behavior, lasting as short as a few seconds, that indicated a person was leaving his or her ‘healthy space’ and going into distress, about to show more obvious negative behavior. He discovered that this pattern was highly predictable, sequential, and observable, and that it had very little to do with the content of what people were saying, and everything to do with how they were saying it.”

“Woah, that’s crazy!” Kayla exclaimed. “I get that. Sometimes I get a gut feeling about someone and it’s not at all about what they are saying. Sometimes it’s the tone or even how they look at me. Are you saying that Dr. Kahler was decoding body language?”

“Yes, and he discovered that there were six distinct patterns. Just six. He saw that one of these six patterns was more common and clearly predominant in each person. Even more amazing, this subtle distress behavior usually came just before the obvious stuff we clearly know is unhealthy, like blaming, manipulating, attacking, or shutting down. Prior to PCM, there was plenty of awareness of these blatant behaviors, but nobody had identified the subtle stuff and unpacked how to observe and code it before more serious behavior erupted. Kahler called these patterns ‘miniscripts’ because they were subtle and happened so fast, and they were so consistent, like a script was playing out. This is so helpful in leadership because it allows us to recognize and intervene before things get worse. It’s been a game changer for us at ProcessCorp.”

“So how does this relate to personality or the PCM Profile?” Kayla was curious and confused.

“Dr. Kahler went on to study the positive behaviors that correlated with each of the six miniscripts. What he found was that there was a whole treasure trove of other characteristics in humans that correlated with their distress patterns: character strengths, motivational needs, preferred ways of communicating, preferred physical environments, even emotional blind spots that could trip them up without awareness. This is where personality comes in. You’ll learn all about it in the PCM Leadership Course you will be attending this month.”

THE HUMAN OPERATING SYSTEM

Sam continued, “Unlike most other personality models based on some researcher’s intellectual hypothesis, Dr. Kahler had discovered a human operating system, a code for how personality is actually built. He didn’t invent personality differences or impose some theoretical model on top of human behavior; he actually observed, coded, and analyzed what he saw. What was totally genius about Dr. Kahler’s discovery is that by looking at process (how we say it) instead of content (what we say), he was able to reveal patterns nobody had seen before.

“As he continued his research, he discovered that human beings have all six types in them. In other words, we can show characteristics of all six types. Each type is like a muscle that we can develop. A muscle can do certain things, has certain limitations, and needs certain conditions to thrive. Muscles can be developed by exercising them in specific ways. And, each one can be damaged by not taking proper care of it, overusing it, or misusing it.”

“That’s so cool!” Kayla was starting to make connections. “So, even though I might have natural tendencies in one direction, I can still develop others?”

“Absolutely, and this is intimately connected to what we call Leadership Agility, the ability of leaders to tap into the energy of each type and adapt their approach to connect with all six types.

“This is why at ProcessCorp we get a PCM Profile for everyone when they are hired. We want to give each person a thorough understanding of their own personality structure so that they can gain awareness of how they tick, and take great care of who they are. Then, through training and mentoring we help leaders begin to develop their agility so they can bring out the best in everyone else’s personality. Would you like to see your PCM Profile?”

“Yes! I can’t wait.”

The cover of Kayla’s results booklet was titled PCM Key to Leadership. Sam explained, “There are a lot of different ways your results can be presented. This one is called Key to Leadership because the focus is helping you learn about your personality and what that means for leadership. There are many different ways we teach people about PCM at ProcessCorp. They all include the same results of the PCM questionnaire but present it in different ways depending on what we are trying to accomplish. We use PCM for sales, PCM for customer service, even PCM for teams. Regardless of our roles or tasks, personality is an integral part because it influences so strongly how we communicate and how we stay healthy.

“Let’s take a look at how PCM conceptualizes personality.” Sam went to the whiteboard and drew a picture of six rectangles stacked on top of each other in decreasing length. Surrounding it were five words: Assess, Connect, Communicate, Motivate, and Grow (see Figure 1).

Figure 1. Leadership Agility: Riding Our Elevator to Positively Influence Ourselves and Others

Sam explained, “Personality is like a six-floor condominium. Each of the six types is arranged in a preferred, set order. That order can be different for each person. This condo reveals lots of clues about how to assess what’s going on with ourselves and others, connect quickly, communicate effectively, motivate for better results, affirm and value people’s unique strengths, and grow as leaders. The bottom floor is the one we were born with and is called the Base. It is the most visited floor of our condo and remains our preferred way of making connection with and experiencing the world for our entire lives. It’s pretty much what is meant by temperament.

“The order of the floors in your condo represents the relative ease with which you can energize and mobilize the characteristics of that type within you. The higher ones are less developed. If we have to use the characteristics of these less developed floors too often, or need to communicate with someone who is much more comfortable with those floors, it can be stressful. Have you noticed that some people are super easy to communicate with, and with others it’s hard work?”

“Of course.” Kayla continued, “Some of my best friends must have a similar Base to me because when we are together, I feel so energized. When we talk on the phone, time flies. Then, there are those high-maintenance people. Whenever I interact with them I feel drained. It’s a pain. Maybe we are communicating from different floors in our condos.”

“Right on, Kayla! The good news is that our condos have an elevator. This means we can visit any floor we want to in order to access or energize the positive features of that part within us. The length of the bars shows how much energy you have, how developed that muscle is. Another way to think of it is how long you can stay there and interact in that way before you get tired and need a rest.”

TYPES IN PEOPLE, NOT TYPES OF PEOPLE

Sam continued, “Kayla, before we get into more details about each type, there are two really important points I want to share. The first one is that PCM is about types in people, not types of people.

“This is so important. We all have all six types in us. What makes every human being the same is that we all have the same set of personality types. We are different in how strong each one is and how we use them. No type is more or less okay, more or less smart, more or less worthy.”

“What does that mean?” Kayla asked.

“First, it means that we should never label a person based on one type. Nobody is just one thing. They are a wonderful and unique combination of all six types. A soccer player may have chiseled legs, but he’s more than a quadricep. Each type contributes to who we are and how we can reach our maximum potential.”

“Wow,” Kayla reacted, “that’s exactly what we did at my last job. We threw around labels like crazy.”

“It’s human nature to want to predict and simplify, so we gravitate toward labels that make things seem simple. The problem is that it also leads to stereotypes and prejudice. Prejudice is about labeling people, and making judgments about them based on limited information, even discriminating against them because of it.”

Kayla connected with the idea of personality discrimination. “I see what you are saying. The last thing my first boss said to me when I left was, ‘I hope you can mature and recognize the value of what we provided you.’ Sure, I was young and inexperienced, but I wasn’t immature, and I was always grateful for the experience. I think he looked down on me because my personality was different from his.”

“Personality prejudice is rampant in most organizations and goes mostly unrecognized, or it gets labeled as something else,” Sam replied. “We’ve done a lot of digging here at ProcessCorp to uncover any areas where we might be discriminating based on personality.

“There’s a second big takeaway here. It has to do with why we even care about studying personality. Why do we do this in the first place?”

“To increase tolerance for different personalities,” Kayla offered.

“That’s an awesome goal,” Sam affirmed. “And how often do we get the results we are seeking? Unfortunately, instead of more tolerance, we often get more prejudice and labeling. We might appreciate at an intellectual level that different folks require different strokes, but what do we do about it? Appreciating diversity is great, but it’s not the end goal. At ProcessCorp, our goal is to leverage diversity. That means we have to understand, appreciate, and maximize the potential in our personalities. We want to interact in ways that bring out the best in each of us. Have you noticed that inclusion is a big focus these days?”

“Yeah, I hear about it everywhere. The big thing used to be diversity, and now it’s inclusion.”

Sam continued, “Inclusion is the next step beyond diversity. Inclusion is more than appreciating or even celebrating a person’s unique qualities. Inclusion means to include and leverage those qualities toward the bigger goals of the organization. People don’t just want to be tolerated or celebrated. They want to be included. They want to contribute and be part of something. Ideally, their contribution can also maximize those things which make them special and unique, like their personality. This can only happen when we recognize that all six personality types are within each of us. Only when we come to appreciate those types in us, can we appreciate those same types in others and truly include them.”

“This sounds kinda spiritual to me,” Kayla mused, almost sarcastically. “Are you trying to say we are all connected and that we have to love ourselves before we can love others? That’s pretty out there.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Kayla. You can’t lead others until you can lead yourself. You can’t truly appreciate the types in others until you appreciate those same types in you. You can’t appreciate another person until you can appreciate yourself and see the connection between you. Learning about personality differences isn’t about finding the positives in people who are ‘different’ from you. It’s about embracing that diversity within you first, then connecting with others by seeing that part of you in them.

“Yes, we are all connected. You don’t have to make it some metaphysical connection if that’s not your thing. Even if you just keep it really practical, the truth is that when it comes to personality, if you focus first on how someone is different, you are shutting down a part of you and you lose your capacity to connect. Empathy is a big part of leadership. What better way to connect with another person than to tap into the part in us that matches their experience?”

“I’m following you,” Kayla inserted.

“Kayla, will you allow me to geek out on some brain science for a minute? Have you heard of mirror neurons? They are a type of neuron in the brain whose purpose is to sense another person’s feelings and help us feel them too. They are the biological basis of empathy. I wonder if mirror neurons can detect where another person is in their condo, in other words, where they are ‘coming from,’ and energize that same part in us. Wouldn’t that be interesting!”

AUTHENTICITY CAN BE UNCOMFORTABLE

Kayla felt skepticism welling up inside her. She was excited about what she was learning, and certainly eager to learn about her own personality architecture, but something wasn’t sitting right. Maybe it was Lucas’s voice in her head preaching about standing up for what you believe in. Maybe it was her mother’s voice reassuring her, “Kayla, you don’t have to be anything different than who you are. Don’t ever change to please others.”

Kayla spoke up. “Sam, I get all this and it’s cool. But if we are just riding our elevator all the time, aren’t we just trying to be something different depending on who we are talking to? That doesn’t seem very authentic. Seems like a chameleon. Isn’t leadership about being true to yourself?”

“I couldn’t agree more, Kayla. Authenticity is crucial to leadership. In fact, that’s what today is all about. Since discovering PCM, my understanding of authenticity has changed quite a bit and I’d like to share it with you. I used to think authenticity was about sticking to your guns and living consistently with your values. Turns out, not everyone relates to that definition. Some personality types really don’t define themselves by their belief systems. They certainly value and care about things, but not necessarily a set of convictions.”

Kayla remembered Lucas’s description of his dad, who defined authenticity just like Sam used to. She asked, “Then what does it mean to be true to yourself?”

Sam answered, “Well, it depends on your personality. First, you have to know who you are, what makes you tick, and how you are built to function best. Being true to yourself means honoring that, and what that is may be different for different personality structures.

“It’s not unusual for people to get nervous about adapting their style or approach for others. It feels foreign and awkward, so it’s natural to conclude, ‘This just isn’t me.’ That’s not at all true. Since we all have all six types in us, the discomfort I feel comes from exercising my weak muscles, not compromising my true self. The hard part of leadership is finding those parts within me that match your strongest parts and developing them so that I can be more effective. To say, ‘This just isn’t me,’ is really an attempt to deny that part in me. So instead of being all that I can be, I am shutting down a part of me, restricting my full potential.

“Kayla, connecting with others does not require us to change into something we aren’t. It requires us to grow more fully into ourselves. Authenticity, then, is about discovering, embracing, and developing the full capacity of your personality and using that to help others do the same.”

“That’s a lot to take in, Sam. I’m not sure I fully grasp what you are saying, but I’m willing to keep going. I’m still dying to find out about me!”

AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP STARTS WITH KNOWING WHO I AM

“Let’s look at your PCM Profile,” Sam responded. “I’m going to give you an introductory overview of your results, but I’ll leave the heavy lifting to our awesome PCM trainer, Sandy, who will be facilitating your course.”

Sam went back to the whiteboard. “Kayla, will you share with me the word associated with each floor of your condo, starting at the bottom?”

Kayla shared the details while Sam re-created her PCM Profile on the whiteboard (see Figure 2). “Do you notice the scale along the bottom that goes from 0 to 100? That number represents how strong that type is within you. The bottom floor is your Base and is 100 percent. The other five floors are arranged in decreasing order of preference for you. The length of each bar represents how much energy you have in that part of your personality. If they are muscles, the length represents each muscle’s strength and endurance. One of the cool things about the PCM Profile is that it can measure the relative strength of each type in you.

Figure 2. Kayla’s PCM Profile

“See, you have all six types in you, just like everyone else in the world. And, you are pretty unique as well. Any idea how many different ways these six floors can be arranged?”

“I have no idea. A lot?” Kayla loved the idea of being unique and connected, but could care less about mathematical calculations.

“Seven hundred and twenty different combinations,” continued Sam. “That is a lot. The good news is we only need to learn about six types to understand the incredible diversity within us and between us.

“Let’s get back to learning about you. The words we have put on the board are the names for each type. Dr. Kahler named them to capture the essential positive qualities that each type brings to the table.”

THE SIX KAHLER PERSONALITY TYPES

Sam began, “Harmonizer is your Base type. The Harmonizer in you experiences the world through the perceptual filter of Emotions. This means that you detect and interpret the emotional aspects of what’s going on. The Harmonizer type is compassionate, sensitive, and warm. Harmonizers prize family and friendship and want people to get along. That’s why they are called Harmonizers. They are happy to spend energy taking care of others, tending to their creature comforts, and helping people feel comfortable.”

“Nailed it!” Kayla connected immediately. “That’s so me. I’ve always been about friends and family. I hate it when people aren’t getting along. I can sense how people are feeling. My friends joke that I remember everyone’s birthdays, anniversaries, and special events. I guess it’s because that’s what matters to me.”

“I’m glad it clicks with you, Kayla. Let’s look at the other floors,” Sam continued.

“Rebel is next. The Rebel type within you experiences the world through the perceptual filter of Reactions. This means they react reflexively to what’s going on, wearing their heart on their sleeve. The Rebel type is spontaneous, creative, and playful. Rebel types prize spontaneity and creativity. They love to have fun and enjoy novelty. They are great at creative problem-solving. Rebels have an amazing ability to live in the moment and change course without getting stuck. They are really flexible.”

“Yep, nailed it again!” Kayla reacted, just as her personality profile would predict. She was on the edge of her seat. “I totally see this energy coming out in me when I try new things. I remember that my Rebel part was dying at my first job. Everything was so boring and stodgy. I tried to bring new ideas, but nobody wanted to hear it. Maybe this floor was the one that nudged me to apply to ProcessCorp. I remember something inside me saying, ‘Hey, what the heck. Just try it.’ Yeah, I was anxious, but also excited for something new.”

“I bet so,” Sam affirmed. “Next is Thinker. Quite a bit different from the Rebel type. The Thinker type experiences the world through the perceptual filter of Thoughts. This means they analyze and synthesize information, looking for what makes sense logically. The Thinker type in you is logical, responsible, and organized. It prizes data and information. Thinkers want to organize things and find the logical solution. They are really good at planning and completing tasks. They don’t mind spending time in their heads working on ideas and plans. Kayla, how do you experience this part of you?”

Kayla thought for a moment before responding, probably energizing her Thinker part in order to conceptualize the pros and cons. “I can see the benefits of this part, and I guess I use my Thinker when I have to get organized and get stuff done, like when I have to fill out forms or complete budgets. Not my favorite thing to do, but I can do it if I have to.”

“As we move higher up in our condo, the bars get shorter, meaning we have less energy to mobilize the characteristics of this type.” Sam explained, “It doesn’t mean we can’t do it, but it takes more effort.”

“Thinkers are so boring!” Kayla couldn’t contain her negative reaction to what she had just learned.

“I’m not surprised you would say that.” Sam’s eyes sparkled and a big smile erupted. “All that data and analysis all day long! Work, work, work. Crazy, huh? Let’s jump in our elevator and ride to the next floor in your condo, the Persister.” Sam was exercising her own agility in order to meet Kayla at her Rebel floor with playful reactions.

“The Persister part in you experiences the world through the perceptual filter of Opinions. Opinions are all about making evaluations about how what’s happening around us compares to our values and beliefs. The Persister type in us is the judge, comparing the facts of the case against the law and rendering an opinion. The Persister type is conscientious, dedicated, and observant. It cares deeply about doing what’s right. Persisters prize loyalty and trust. They want to know they can count on others to follow through on promises and uphold their values. Walking the talk is important to them. They are like the moral rudders on a ship, helping keep things going in the right direction.”

“That’s Lucas.” Kayla was making connections. “This must be my boyfriend’s Base type. He is just like this. He’s the most dependable, consistent, and loyal person I’ve ever met. It bothers him when people don’t stand up for their beliefs. Hypocrisy drives him crazy! And his dad is just the same. That’s probably why he admires his dad.”

“I love that you are seeing these qualities in others around you,” Sam affirmed. “Appreciating and leveraging others’ personality traits is an important part of leadership. How do you see it coming out in you, Kayla?”

Kayla paused. This time it took her a lot longer to answer, most likely because the Persister part in her had only about 35 percent energy. “I’m not sure. I guess it must be important because I respect that about Lucas.” She paused again. “I guess you could say that I’m committed to people in my life. I believe that you should always love them unconditionally and be there for them, especially during tough times. Is that my Persister floor talking, or my Harmonizer Base?”

“Great question and great observation, Kayla.” Sam explained, “None of our floors exist in isolation. You can’t take them out of context. This is one mistake many people make when learning about personality. It’s so tempting to adopt a label and overemphasize that one thing instead of becoming more flexible and responsible. They are all a part of us, and they all influence each other. It’s important to recognize the unique energies and characteristics of each type so we can become more self-aware and live more fully and authentically.

“At the same time, PCM is just a model. This diagram on the board is just a representation of patterns that Dr. Kahler discovered. It’s only a map, not the terrain. Maps help us understand and navigate the terrain, but they aren’t the actual thing. The best maps are the ones that best represent the terrain and help us safely reach our destination.”

“I get it,” Kayla responded, “We aren’t just one thing. We are a mix of them all.”

“Exactly.” Sam continued, “Next is Imaginer with about 25 percent energy. The Imaginer part experiences the world through the perceptual filter of Inactions. This means they take in the world around them in a more contemplative way, experiencing it without a need to analyze, react, or form an opinion. Inaction means the action is on the inside. The Imaginer in you is imaginative, reflective, and calm. Imaginers are quite introverted, yet incredibly receptive to the world around them. If you could see inside their head, you’d be amazed at the wonderful imagination happening in there. They may not be logical and structured like the Thinkers, but they can come up with some pretty brilliant ideas and solutions using their imagination. They prize privacy and their own space. They aren’t energized by being around people like some of the other types. How does this sit with you, Kayla?”

“I gotta be honest with you, Sam. I’m struggling with this one. I don’t get people who have strong Imaginer in their personality. I never know what’s going on inside their head. I don’t have anything against them, I just don’t understand them. I think my mom had a lot of Imaginer energy. She worked alone at her job and seemed perfectly happy with that.”

“I hear you, Kayla. This is the third floor up in my condo. It’s a bit more accessible for me, but still it’s taken some time for me to really make friends with it and recognize all it has to offer me. No problem. Ready to pull down the ladder and climb into the attic?” By using an active, playful metaphor, Sam continued to appeal to Kayla’s strong Rebel floor as a way to help maintain her energy to explore further up in her condo.

“Okay. What am I going to find up there?” Kayla smiled but felt a little apprehensive.

Sam continued, “The Promoter part experiences the world through the perceptual filter of Action. They are always on the go, looking for what to do next. The Promoter in you is adaptable, persuasive, and charming. This part brings the charm and is naturally charismatic. Promoters prize self-sufficiency because they are highly adaptable. Drop them in a strange situation with a paperclip and bottle of water and watch them take advantage of the opportunities. Promoters thrive on risk and excitement. They don’t mind competitive environments and love the limelight.”

“Ugh. I feel icky.” Kayla couldn’t contain her discomfort.

“It’s okay,” Sam assured her.

“Sam, did you notice what I just did?” Kayla had an out-of-body experience as she observed the process of how she was communicating. “I just reacted by saying Ugh! Then I shared a feeling, icky. I can see my strongest personality types in me coming through loud and clear.”

“Right on, Kayla,” Sam replied. “It’s amazing what we can see when we start paying attention to the language of personality.”

“So back to the Promoter,” Kayla continued. “The Promoter seems so slimy, like a used car salesman trying to take advantage of me. I’ve known some of these types and I didn’t like them. I never felt comfortable around them. So, maybe it’s okay not to make friends with that part of me? Is that wrong?”

Sam sensed that Kayla was communicating from her Base Harmonizer because of the shift in focus to feelings and concern for how others feel. So Sam energized her own Harmonizer part in order to respond. “What you are experiencing is totally normal, Kayla.” Sam’s voice was supportive and affirming. “Often this is how people experience the least developed parts of their personality. It feels foreign, strange, and uncomfortable. You haven’t spent much time there, so I can totally appreciate that you aren’t familiar with all the positive potential this type brings to your life.”

Kayla smiled and seemed to relax. Sam interpreted this as evidence that Kayla had accepted the Harmonizer connection and now had energy to continue.

“There’s another side of this we haven’t talked about. Distress. Remember the miniscripts? These were distress patterns, the not-so-pretty stuff. Everyone has them, including the Promoter. That slimy stuff you mentioned is typical of Promoters in distress, not how they act when they are in a good space. Maybe you’ve experienced Promoter distress from these people which makes it difficult to see the positives. You’ll learn all about that in your PCM course.”

Kayla felt reassured. “I get what you are saying. You know what else I just realized? If Promoter was my Base and I was communicating with my current self, I bet that would be really tough. Promoters prize self-sufficiency and Harmonizers prize connections and togetherness. Those seem really opposite!”

“Way to use your Harmonizer superpower of empathy, Kayla! Now that we’ve covered all six types in you, I’m curious to hear about your experience. How are you feeling about this? What are your reactions?” Sam appealed to Kayla’s two strongest perceptual frames of reference, emotions and reactions, because she knew that people are most comfortable and energized when they can speak with their favorite perceptual language.

“Well, I definitely feel like my profile is accurate. I could feel the energy draining out of me as we went higher and higher in my condo, so it made a lot of sense. Somewhere just after the Thinker floor I noticed I was trying to distance myself from it. It was like I didn’t want to admit these next three floors were part of me.”

“Anything else?”

“Yeah,” Kayla continued, “I kept thinking about other people in my life who have strong Persister, Imaginer, or Promoter energy. I found myself labeling them as if they were that one type. I heard myself saying things like, ‘Yep, those Imaginers are so antisocial.’ I don’t dislike them, and I accept people who are different from me, but I also don’t get along with them the best.”

“Are you aware that you just labeled someone as Imaginer and called them antisocial?” Sam’s voice was serious again.

Kayla looked down at her lap and felt self-conscious again, a highly predictable behavior of Base Harmonizer personality types when experiencing stress. Only this time she understood what was happening. “Wow, just because I am a Harmonizer Base doesn’t mean I am free from prejudice. I just now understood what you said earlier about personality discrimination. I labeled, made assumptions, and jumped to a negative conclusion about a personality type that’s less developed in me. Everyone talks about unconscious bias these days. Some of my biases come from the top floors of my condo.”

“Kayla, that is great insight and hard stuff to recognize. Awesome. You are worthwhile. They are worthwhile, and it’s easy to form negative impressions about types in us that are less developed.

“We’ve covered a lot today and our time is almost up. Thank you for your openness to learn about yourself and consider this new way of looking at who we are as people. The first step in seeing people through is to embrace and appreciate all six types in you.

“It’s important to me to personally share the ProcessCorp philosophy with each employee, and to do the introduction to PCM. This is how I get to know each person and convey the value we have for each unique personality structure in our company. You are no exception. You are a very special person with a unique personality that has so much potential. You will learn how to use your personality to stay healthy, motivated, and make the biggest contribution possible. Over time you will also learn how to influence others to do the same. We call it ‘seeing people through.’ It’s a leadership philosophy for life, and PCM can help you along the way.”

“Thank you so much, Sam, for taking the time to make this personal connection. I’m pumped to learn more.” Kayla was feeling grateful and excited.

“Your meeting with me was the first appointment of your first day at ProcessCorp so I could give you a big welcome aboard. We’ve covered all six types within each person. We’ve touched on the perceptual frames of reference and signature character strengths for each one. As you go through your orientation, I encourage you to pay attention to see how these show up in you and in the people you meet.”

Kayla immediately felt pressure inside, as if she was going to be evaluated. Sam must have sensed it because she continued with a reassuring tone. “Kayla, there is no expectation that you do anything with this right now. All I’m saying is that with your new ‘PCM eyes and ears’ you might notice things you didn’t realize were important. Enjoy!”

“I can do that, Sam! Thanks for the encouragement.”

“Good luck with your orientation, Kayla. I know you have a packed schedule today, and will be meeting regularly with Pauline to continue learning about PCM and seeing people through. Remember, it’s okay to trust your gut and have fun. We are so glad you’re here!”

Kayla knew she’d made the right decision.

RESOURCE GUIDES

Table 1: The Six Kahler Types, Perceptual Frames of Reference, and Typical Words and Phrases

Table 2: The Six Kahler Types, Character Strengths, What They Prize, and Hidden Bias