CHAPTER 09
MAP IT

Here you are; your values — the essence of your heart and soul, the very things that dictate where your energy and attention go — have given you a direction in which to head. Maybe you've decided upon a new vocation of some kind (and I don't necessarily mean work; the new vocation might be a hobby or artistic pursuit, a side hustle) and you're genuinely excited to head down that path, even if it scares you a little. But there's a huge problem. You're stuck at the starting line. Nothing is happening.

So you start to question yourself at three levels. You question your desire, the value of what you are pursuing, and lastly, your self-worth. But as Elizabeth Gilbert says, ‘Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor', so let's take a look at these to start with and uncover them as the myths they truly are.

FROM BLINDFOLDED TO BLUEPRINT

Our desire is a very common area we tend to question ourselves on, with our questioning often sounding something like this: ‘Maybe you don't want it badly enough, then'.

Ouch.

I don't know about you, but that cliché riles me, and I've been caught in its web plenty of times believing that I just needed to want my goal more, and then success would come (sound the trumpets!). The truth is you can desperately want something but have no idea about how to go about obtaining it. Want proof? What about an unrequited love? I remember when I was fourteen years old. I was so infatuated with a boy — let's call him ‘Brian'. I was infatuated with the way he walked, the way he talked … the way he had no freakin' idea I even existed. It was intoxicating and he consumed the majority of my waking thoughts. Well, him and Christian Slater.

I can conclusively tell you that I wanted it badly enough.

I wanted him to look in my direction.

I wanted him to talk to me.

I wanted him to maybe even hold my hand.

To be honest I didn't really know what I wanted — I was fourteen — but I knew I wanted him to be my boyfriend. But I had no clue what to do about it. Fast forward five or six years, though, and the game was different. I had a few more ideas about what to do to start a conversation — okay, so the conversation was still clunky, with no guarantee it would work, but I knew how to kick into gear and gave it a go.

But when I was fourteen, I didn't have the skills or confidence to know where to start. Trust me: I wanted it badly enough, though. Even now, desire still doesn't guarantee success. Surfing four-foot waves, doing a headstand in yoga, cooking a three-course meal for dinner guests without a side of charcoal on every dish, for example — these desire-filled activities are all currently outside of my reality. Desire is not the only thing we need.

The second area where we question ourselves when we're in Freak Out is the value of our goal or vision. Why would anyone want to read what I write? Maybe no-one really wants to buy my hand-crafted jewellery? Perhaps my business venture won't get traction in the market?

Questioning the value of our offering becomes a yoke around our necks and we can continually sit in the grind of evaluation until the enthusiasm fades any great idea into obscurity. And, again, questioning the value of your pursuit is crap. Truly, it is a self-limiting belief driven by fear. I promise you that if what you produce is from your heart — the best part of you — the work wants it. It needs it. So begone doubt. You're not welcome 'ere.

The third and last area where we question ourselves is our self-worth. Someone else who's smarter, more experienced, more talented, more [insert adjective here] could do this but not me. Who am I?

Marianne Williamson's magnificent words acknowledge this questioning: ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?'

Well, I'm here to answer that question. You. That's who.

Actually, the full quote from Williamson is worth reading on a daily basis, so I've included it here:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

But, whoa, we carry that fear don't we? Why me? Why should I deserve to be loved?

Don't worry — nary a word written within the pages of this book wasn't underwritten by tears, anguish and wine in equal measures. But while I heard that voice of self-doubt and protection, I refused to take orders from it.

So fight the fight in your head. Tell those voices to take a back seat. That's the first step to moving out of Freak Out.

The second step follows swiftly behind: we've got to solve the problem of inertia by getting into movement, but not just any movement. This is where you need to invest heavily into processes and do the work. This starts with mapping out where you need to head, getting real with progress, and putting dates, milestones and moments down on paper so that progress has a chance of happening. And always ensuring that the progress that we're making is still connected to a purpose that resonates with us — that there's a ‘why' behind the ‘what'. We do this by clearly setting out a map, your map. Your process isn't necessarily copied from someone else but is unique to you. This is your blueprint to come back to when you feel blindfolded by a lack of progress.

GETTING FOUND WHEN WE'RE FEELING LOST

With our smart phones at the ready and easy access to the interwebs at any given moment, we live in a time where physically getting lost is rarer than it used to be. In my childhood, I remember family trips on the back roads to ‘Woop Woop' where we had really only two ways to find our direction. The first was having a map of the area (which we only very occasionally had), and the second involved asking a local person for directions. The second one was fraught with hurdles, from the quality of directions received from the local (go 400 metres, turn right … no, no left, yeah left … past the place where Barry hangs out his washing … then follow your nose to the cedar tree … ), to the fact that Dad's internal ‘hunter-gatherer-honing' pride made it impossible for him to actually ask the said local for directions in the first place (much to Mum's frustration). The result? Wrong turns, backtracking, hungry-whingy kids in the back seat, and silence between Mum and Dad. Not to mention the extra time and petrol required.

Build the map that is right for you and is built on your values.

Now these ‘interesting' family road trips weren't all bad. We got to explore areas we'd never seen before, and Dad's look of pride and relief when we finally reached our destination was worth seeing. But having a map with us meant that, rather than something to endure, the explorations of back streets became intentional because we now knew how to get back on track. For you, in an era where time is precious and resources are finite, if you don't invest in processes and have a clear map for the landscape you want to explore, the casualty rate can be brutal. And the main casualties could be your dreams and desires. For me, these are too precious to risk on ‘just winging it'.

Move away from feeling lost to feeling located. Think of this like the navigation on your maps app that brings up your ‘little blue dot' to tell you where you are. At any point along the journey when you make a turn that doesn't quite land you at the place you thought it would, zoom back to your map and find your ‘little blue dot'. Make sure you square away the time to focus on process. Build the map that is right for you and is built on your values. When you feel lost in the process, know that your ‘little blue dot' will find you and help you decide what the next move should be.

FIVE ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS OF MAPS

So building a process comes through action, and within this chapter (‘Map it') and the next two (‘Chunk it' and ‘See it') you are going to have to do some work. What I recommend is that you make this fun. This is your time to get out of your head and get stuff onto paper, and the best resource you can invest in is some stationery that will bring your vision to life. If you're anything like me in a stationery store, you might just approach this as a ‘one-of-everything' type of situation, but these are a few things that I'd recommend at a minimum:

• unruled art notebook in A3 size
• coloured pens
• whiteboard or vision board
• clear wall space you can put ideas and accountability actions on.

When we start to talk about mapping, we can identify five commonalities for any map. We're going to use these as guideposts to creating your map for moving forward. These five components are:

1. title: refers to everything the map covers
2. orientation: identifies which way is up
3. legend: highlights the symbols to use to interpret the map
4. scale: shows the perspective we're looking at
5. date: connects the map to the context.

We're going to use these components to create your blueprint.

1. TITLE

Set your title for this map, covering what the map is about. This title is your goal, clearly stated and specific. While this sounds like an obvious step, the truth is setting a clear goal can be harder than you first think.

You might have a vague idea about where you want to head, but have you actually articulated a clear goal? For example shift, ‘I want to get fit' (vague), into something concrete like, ‘I want to do a five kilometre run in October' (specific). Fear can hold you back from putting what's in your heart into words out into the world. What if others laugh? What if it doesn't come off?

This is the time to shut down those voices of doubt and write down your goal. Make it big. Make it real. Make it scare you a little bit.

Action:

• Open your art book to the first page and write down your goal.

2. ORIENTATION

The orientation on the map points us to true north, which, for this map, are your high priority values. These are your ‘why', which sit behind what you are doing here and now. When you feel disconnected in your process, coming back to these values will reorientate you to what is important.

Action:

• Around your goal, write down your high priority values as they stand today.
• Get creative with the next few pages in your art book and dedicate one page per value. Write down things that help you connect back to these values, draw pictures and stick in images.

3. LEGEND

Typically a legend on a map defines any key symbols and markers along the way — for example, a black dot might be the symbol for a city with a population over one million. So the legend helps you to interpret the map and understand what you encounter along your route (and know essential things like where the closest toilets are).

When you think about mapping your goal, the legend highlights your key markers — those regular rituals that you want to build as you pursue this new direction. These are the rituals that will help you achieve your goal and they become the anchor you can come back to when busy shows up. For example, your rituals may be things like:

• writing at a local coffee shop at 5 am each morning (my ritual for writing this book; yes, one was open)
• setting exercise clothes out by your bedroom door the night before
• having a 9 am Monday ‘powwow' with the team
• going for Friday arvo drinks with friends.

Action:

• Write down three to five key rituals that you are going to commit to that will help you achieve your goal.
• Slot these rituals into your calendar so they become part of your schedule.

4. SCALE

On a map, we want to understand the scale that we are looking at — think of the difference between the Google Earth view and the detail of the local cul-de-sac. In this case, the scale represents your current perspective of the sheer amount of space that is being considered.

Within psychology, getting people out of overwhelm often comes with changing the scale that they are currently viewing. Overwhelm often feels very close — we only look at today, tomorrow or next week — and when we think about the future it's tarred with the fear that next year will be exactly the same. We're unable to entertain thoughts of what might be different.

This is the time to entertain a different future, because we can't be what we can't see. If we want to win a new project with a client, we need to be able to see ourselves shaking the hand of the client, sealing the deal. If we want to take up running, we need to see ourselves crossing the finishing line of a five-kilometre race.

For your scale, consider how this change will have an impact on you in five weeks' time, five months' time, and five years' time.

Action:

• If you commit to this goal, write down what will you have achieved in:
  • five weeks' time
  • five months' time
  • five years' time (and it's totally okay to daydream and play with this).
• When you achieve these, how will you feel? Write down what you will be most proud of in:
  • five weeks' time
  • five months' time
  • five years' time (again, it's totally okay to daydream and play with this).

5. DATE

Maps are continually updated with additional information and improved accuracy as the details for the area shown increase. This is particularly the case when the landscape is continually changing. The reality is that the goals you had ten years ago were different from what you have now. Your goals in twelve months' time may also be significantly different.

Putting a date on your map gives you context. Plug into where you are right now in this point in your life. Set check-in and review dates to come back to your map. In the next chapter, ‘Chunk it', we'll look specifically at having 90-day goals. This is the time and space to check in with your map, see where the landscape has changed, and update it with improved accuracy. You can also check in that it still aligns with your values, because these may shift.

Action:

• Go back to your goal page and write today's date on it.
• Schedule times in your calendar to check back in with your map in three months' time, and in six months' time.

TRACK THE ACTION THAT GETS THE TRACTION

When it comes to mapping out the blueprint for your processes, knowing what you are tracking is important. Even more important is tracking the actions that give you the most traction. For example, certain conversations with the right people will move your project forward. Getting your product in the right store will open up a new wave of clientele. Get clear on what behaviours actually lead to progress.

In our business, we know that ‘coffees = work' — meaning, us making the time to have coffees with clients, connectors and contacts invariably leads to work. Not every time, of course. (We always make sure the coffee we have is good, but even good coffee is not good enough to guarantee work 100 per cent of the time.) But in our business, we know this is the action that gives us the traction to keep growing.

Get clear on what behaviours actually lead to progress.

When we get busy delivering and designing programs, the coffees start to drop off the weekly to-do list, our contacts start to diminish, and our sales funnel dries up. This, therefore, becomes a key action that we need to focus on even when we get busy. This is the metaphorical ball we can't afford to drop. When we don't pay attention to it, we pay for it.

Think about the action or actions that give you the best traction. Is it catching up with a certain friend who always leaves you inspired and energised? If so, schedule in a monthly lunch together rather than wait for a reason. Is it getting up by 5 am, because when you get up at that hour you exercise and the rest of your day is always better? If so, set that alarm, put out your exercise clothes and make sure it happens. And when these actions drop off the radar, as they will do during holiday times or when you're not well, then hit reset and schedule them back in again.

It's the tracking of these key actions you want to focus on.

Action:

• Write down the key targets or activities that will give you the most amount of traction.

DON'T OVERTHINK IT

We can all fall into the trap of thinking and overthinking, and this process can actually be not only a distraction habit but also a compulsion. Of all the things we can become addicted to, overthinking it is high on the list. We fear that if we don't think and obsess about it, we can't possibly get started, so we run through every step of the process, working through all of the things that need to get done.

You do have enough time. Consider the time you have available not just in chunks of days but even in terms of minutes. Ask yourself, ‘Where am I going to allocate my minutes here? Map out your priorities and find the time — so you can say something like, ‘I've got a big product I'm working on, I wish I had three weeks to deliver it, but over the next week if I do five hours that will get it sorted'. Paying attention to what is happening is key.

Get it out of your head. The key to this action is to physically map it out. Overwhelm grows in the dark, and it loves to be aloof. The moment we square overwhelm in the eye, really look at it and put what needs to be done under the microscope, it loses its stronghold on us. Then we can get to work, chunking out the work we need to do to start making progress.