CHAPTER 11
SEE IT

Johann Sebastian Bach was a prolific composer in his time. While his work may not be on your daily Spotify list, chances are you've heard it at some point. Over his extensive career, how many concertos do you think Bach wrote? Rather than come up with a specific number, choose a range where you feel 98 per cent confident that you're on the money — for example, you might say between 100 and 500 concertos.

Psychologists Howard Raifa and Marc Alpert have asked hundreds of people this question (among other questions), asking them to rate their knowledge within a strong band of confidence. Their research focused on exploring the gap between what people confidently affirmed that they knew and what they actually knew. Their results were fascinating: instead of 2 per cent of respondents being wrong (which would fit in with them feeling 98 per cent confident), they found that 40 per cent of their respondents proved incorrect with the range they provided. In other words, they overestimated their confidence in their knowledge. (In regards to Bach, for example, over his total output of more than 1100 compositions, only 28 are classed as concertos. That fact will totally come in handy at your next trivia night event.) Raifa and Alpert named this phenomenon the ‘overconfidence effect'.

We apply this effect in many aspects of our lives — from overconfidence in the stock market and the property market, to overconfidence in our ability to be safe drivers (it's always the other idiots on the road that make it unsafe). Interestingly enough, experts suffer from the overconfidence effect more than others — an economist will not be able to predict the price of oil in five years' time any better than a zookeeper, for example, but they will state their prediction with confidence. Overconfidence kicks into not only our ability to predict but also our ability overall. For example, in his book The Black Swan, philosopher and statistician Nicholas Taleb found that 84 per cent of Frenchmen estimate that they are above average lovers. Obviously, ‘above average' means only 50 per cent should rate themselves in this category, but the confidence and swagger of Frenchmen is clearly high.

Each of us wears the badge of overconfidence, and one of the things that we are notoriously bad at predicting is how long things actually take to get finished. Progress is halted when the overconfidence effect kicks in. The reality is that we overestimate our ability and skills and grossly underestimate how long it takes to get the job done. Ever needed to push back a deadline? Then you've fallen into this trap. Renovations are notoriously known for blowing out, both in budget and time frames — our overconfidence of the task and underestimation of the true length of time required kicking in again.

But we do this all the time, don't we? ‘Yep, I'll declutter the house, make hats for the kids' Easter hat parade, take on a new project at work, commit to running a five-kilometre race in two weeks' time, and write a book, all in the next week. Sure thing. I'M ALL OVER IT.¹' And, progress, the poor thing, gets death-ridden from the outset. No wonder Freak Out is what turns up when this is the schedule we give progress. In order to shift out from the shadows of over-commitment, progress needs to become visible.

FROM HIDDEN TO VISIBLE

Our internal measure of progress is flawed and can't be relied upon. When we trust what's happening inside, we don't always see the progress that we make, and we miss seeing when progress starts to slip. We need to get outside ourselves and find a way to shift to an external way of tracking progress, turning it from hidden to visible. We need to get honest with both our abilities (and how we sabotage our own progress) and the true length of a project. We need to eyeball progress. Literally see it. Shift progress from being a hidden measure, to being something that we see on a regular basis.

This process starts with us getting real about the ways that we self-sabotage our own progress. In particular, we need to understand the four archenemies of progress, each of which we engage in from time to time.

THE FOUR ARCHENEMIES OF PROGRESS (AND THEIR ANTIDOTES)

The world is a busy place, with plenty of obstacles between us and achieving success. Yet many of us also step into behaviours that sabotage our own progress and productivity — actually, not just many of us; all of us. Each and every one of us has fallen into these patterns of behaviour from time to time.

Sometimes we are conscious of what we are doing, but other times we unconsciously step into old habits that don't serve us very well.

Dr Jason Fox is the best-selling author of The Game Changer and How to Lead a Quest, working with Fortune 500 companies around motivation design. Dr Fox's research and thinking on the integral importance of progress in motivation, and how we need to design work to maximise the motivation of discretionary effort is world class.² He's also the greatest red-bearded man I know. Building on Dr Fox's research on the ways that we self-sabotage our own progress, he and I collaborated and identified the four archenemies of epic progress. These are the four ways that we consistently get in our own way when it comes to making progress. These are the four Ps:

• perfectionism
• procrastination
• pessimism
• people-pleasing.

While you will have dabbled in all of them, generally one or two will be your default way of operating. Let's get to know these four a little better and look at ways that we can finally step out of our own way and unfold a pathway for greater progress and success.

PERFECTIONISM

Perfectionism is not the same as having a high standard or striving for excellence. There is such a thing as healthy striving — it's that thing that pushes us to work harder, to pick up the phone one more time, and to push the boundaries.

Perfectionism, on the other hand, is the result of setting high and impossible standards, and at its core is the self-destructive belief system that our self-worth is attached to achieving these impossible standards. According to Dr Brené Brown, perfectionism is fuelled by the primary thought that, If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimise the painful feelings of shame, judgement and blame.

The perfectionism mantra is ‘There's never enough time'.

WHY DO WE USE IT?

Perfectionism is a false shield. We use it because we believe it can protect us from feeling shame, or from being judged by others (‘If I did it perfectly, they'd have nothing to judge').

Perfectionism perpetuates itself too. If we do experience judgement from others, we believe it's because we didn't work hard enough.

HOW DOES IT HOLD US BACK?

Perfectionism steals our time and our headspace, consumes us with worry, and also robs the people around us of our work (particularly if we wait for it to be perfect before we show it to anyone). It robs us of progress and can get a project bogged down quicker than a sedan in the Sahara Desert.

PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination is putting something off that we know we should be doing. It's the irrational delay of something for no good reason, and often when action would have been preferable.

Procrastination is not always about inaction, however. In fact, the most common form of procrastination on a task in our busy world is by being too busy to do it. We distract ourselves with little tasks and avoid the important things we ought to be focusing on.

The procrastination mantra is ‘I work better under pressure'.

WHY DO WE USE IT?

We use it because often other tasks that are not as urgent actually give us a greater sense of progress than the very thing we ought to be focusing on.

The other reason we use it is because very occasionally procrastination pays off for us. The thing that you hadn't gotten around to doing is no longer needed or, better still, someone else has done it so you no longer need to.

HOW DOES IT HOLD US BACK?

Procrastination often partners up with indecision and anxiety and can leave us feeling paralysed about a direction. It stops progress in its tracks because, well, nothing's really getting done.

PESSIMISM

You may have heard the saying, ‘I'm not a pessimist; I'm a realist'. This is a nonsensical statement, because both optimists and pessimists can take a realistic view of a given situation; the difference is in how they deal with the reality they perceive.

Pessimism is the tendency to see the worst aspects of things and events. According to American psychologist Martin Seligman, pessimism is a way of seeing problems as permanent and pervasive — that they are never going to change, and this is going to affect everything. Pessimism is also the belief that my behaviour doesn't matter, and that I can't have any impact on changing what is happening.

The pessimism mantra is ‘I'm just playing devil's advocate'.

WHY DO WE USE IT?

Pessimism is a way of trying to protect ourselves by beating disappointment to the punch by expecting it. The problem is that it doesn't work. If we expect disappointment and then receive it, we're actually doubly-disappointed. On the other hand, if we expect the worst and things go well, we assume it's just a fluke and wait for something bad to happen. Or things never go as well as they could (more disappointment).

HOW DOES IT HOLD US BACK?

When we are in a headspace of expecting less than great outcomes, often we find the cracks around us. A victim mentality and a learnt helplessness come with pessimism.

Pessimism also blocks our belief that our behaviours can actually have any impact on the situation. More often than not, we actually have more power in the overall outcome than we know.

PEOPLE-PLEASING

People-pleasing, at its core, is a noble venture, starting out from the inherent belief that we are here to serve and support others. This approach is needed in our workplaces more often, but our reasons for helping people can move it along the continuum to being dysfunctional.

If our reason for people-pleasing is a strong desire to be liked, validated and accepted by others, we move into overcommitting ourselves — and even potentially resenting the very people we want to be serving more. People-pleasing is when we let other people's priorities replace our own, committing to so many things that we are stretched too thin.

The people-pleasing mantra is, ‘I have so much on my plate right now'.

WHY DO WE USE IT?

Socially, a lot of self-reinforcement and validation comes from being the ‘go-to' person — the one others can rely on to say yes and help out when things are busy. Sometimes, we even get recognised and rewarded for it by others.

Potentially letting people down is tough, so we'd rather suck it up and get on with it than rock the boat.

HOW DOES IT HOLD US BACK?

It can feel hard to fault people-pleasing but this tendency is the slow sabotage. It can eat away at the quality of our work because we are stretched so thin we can't give anything the time and energy it truly deserves. It also takes us away from the activities and people who really matter to us.

THE ANTIDOTES

Each of these archenemies has an antidote that we can apply in order to step back into progress. Apply these antidotes liberally and get yourself moving again.

PERFECTIONISM ANTIDOTE

The challenge here is to get real about what factors are essential and what are superfluous. Employ the 80 per cent rule: get a task to 80 per cent and then either ship it or check in with others. If you find yourself spending way too long writing emails to stakeholders, for example, write your draft, get it to what you see as 80 per cent and then check in. You may find that your 80 per cent is completely fine and then you can move on.

PROCRASTINATION ANTIDOTE

When your tendency is to put things off, wait till you have more information or leave a decision till later, know that chances are you've already got the information you need to make a reasonable decision. The antidote requires you to get into action, and schedule in an ‘hour of power'.

Set yourself an hour for a full productivity blitz, and rip into the thing that you are putting off. Look it square in the face and wrestle with it for an hour. Often, within 40 minutes you will already feel more on top of what you need to do.

PESSIMISM ANTIDOTE

The antidote for pessimism is simple and incredibly effective, but committing to it is hard. The antidote for pessimism is gratitude, because it's impossible to be pessimistic and grateful at the same time.

Write down something that you are grateful for here and now. Take the time to say thanks to a family member, a colleague, or your local barista. If pessimism still rears its head, apply gratitude in a higher dose until symptoms subside.

PEOPLE-PLEASING ANTIDOTE

This antidote will result in having the true people-pleasers stop breathing. But stick with me because this antidote will change your world. Here it is: say no graciously. (And now breathe …)

I get it; saying no is tricky. Saying no to a friend is really tricky. But remember that the goal is to make progress, and if you keep piling up your to-do list, progress is going to leave the building. You can be honest about saying, ‘I want to give this my full attention and I can't right now'.

It's also important to say no when what you're being asked to do is not aligned with your values. Just because you can say yes doesn't mean you should. I've had to learn how to say no graciously, particularly if I can't see a compelling reason (or so I think) to say no. One area where I've had to learn this is when I'm being asked to speak at an event. When these requests first started coming in, the only question I used to ask was, ‘Am I available?' If I was, I'd do it; if I wasn't, I wouldn't. Now I have a barrage of questions: Am I available? Does this excite me? Where would the time spent preparing, travelling and delivering this be better used? Is something else more important? Does this align with my goals?

If the speaking engagement isn't the best use of my time at that point, or doesn't align with my goals, I've had to learn how to say no graciously.

The following are three keys to keep in mind for your gracious ‘no':

• Find the gratitude: outline that you are grateful for being asked, and honoured that you were thought of.
• Actually say ‘no' (or something equally as definitive): ‘I'll see' is not a no. ‘Let me get back to you' is not a no. Don't hint or hope they understand. Instead, say ‘I don't have the time for that at the moment'. Make it clear.
• Offer to support in other ways: only make this offer if these feel okay to you, and be careful of shifting the load to something else.

LET'S GET VISUAL

Being able to visualise progress not only counteracts the overconfidence effect but also drives motivation. When we see where we are, we want to keep moving forward. Ticking off tasks on our to-do list is a way of visually tracking progress. Something inside of us wants to see the full list ticked off and we'll keep working until we do. (Or we'll sneakily write a new list and just transfer what we haven't gotten around to yet to tomorrow's list. Yep, I know your tricks!)

When we see where we are, we want to keep moving forward.

There are great examples of how we already visualise progress in our world. In a fundraising setting, we often see the thermometer as a visual tracking device. In a workplace setting, we use whiteboards, Gantt charts and reports to see progress. They may not be the best methods to use, however; they are often not well designed (they're so boring to look at) and often track the outcome rather than the effort. We see the business income rather than the number of coffees we've had with clients, for example. And these are one-way communication rather than something that individuals can interact with.

As you set up how you visualise the progress towards your goal, stick with the following three rules:

1. Track the effort rather than the outcome: in chapter 9 we spoke about tracking the action that makes a difference. In our business, for example, coffees = work. While the outcome of securing work is reliant on an array of things, many outside of our control, the thing we have 100 per cent control over is catching up with people for coffees. When we visualise the effort that we control, motivation follows.
2. Invest in good design: you have full permission to go and spend a ridiculous amount of money on journals, whiteboards, pens, magnets, and even designers. Battle the boring and the beige and make your visual tracking something that brings joy when you see it, and something that you and others will want to engage with more.
3. Make it interactive: the nature of progress is that it's ever-changing. In a rapidly changing work environment, this progress can shift on a daily basis. Therefore, the way that we visualise progress needs to be dynamic and interactive so that we can engage with its evolution. Printing off an Excel spreadsheet and putting it on the wall won't cut it. Think magnets as markers, whiteboards that can be updated easily, or Advent calendar–style walls that have hidden chocolates when you unlock the next level.

THE COMPOUNDING EFFECT

When we see something over a period of time, it becomes the trophy of effort that we can be proud of. Use this compounding effect of visualising back-to-back effort to keep you moving towards your goal.

You can use this compounding effect in two ways:

• Start streaking: visually seeing a streak of the behaviour you are focusing on is a powerful way to increase dopamine levels. Seeing how many days in a row you've achieved something, for example, is motivating. Invest in a streaking calendar (no, not the kind that you used to see at the footy) and start ticking that stuff off.
• Focus on the trend, not the number: the stock market is continually focusing more on trend lines than the daily numbers. The same is true when our goal is weight loss, where the reality is that weight fluctuations can be based on everything from dehydration to salt levels to the moon cycle. We can get deflated if we only concentrate on the single digit, whereas the overall trend may be more positive. When the individual figure can fluctuate, find a way to focus on the trend instead.

SET UP THE ENVIRONMENT

We are the product of our environment. If we see mess and chaos around us, we will feel messy and out of control. I'm not saying you can't do productive and hard work in a messy environment, but the length of time needed for you to get up to speed is longer. Getting into that state takes longer and you can't hit the ground running. Time is precious, remember — any hacks that we can put into place to engineer the environment for success is going to serve us in the long term.

SEE IT. DO IT. WATCH IT GROW

To help with motivation and progress towards your goal, you can go visual in three main places:

1. In physical and tactile areas at home or at work; for example, on:
   • the wall
   • butcher's paper
   • a whiteboard
   • sticky notes.

   Say your goal is to declutter the house, for example. You could get a floor plan of the house and put a star or sticker on areas as you do them. If your goal is to get into running, you could draw some foot shapes and, each time you go for a run, write down on them where you went, how far you ran and who you went with, and put them on a spare wall.

2. On your desktop; for example:
   • online programs, such as project management software (for example, Basecamp)
   • calendars
   • a beautifully designed Excel spreadsheet.
3. In your back pocket (your smart phone, that is); for example:
   • tracking apps such as MyFitnessPal, budgeting apps and Habit Streaks — all great ways to carry your motivation and tracking with you
   • sharing on social media — looking through an Instagram account could be a way of visually seeing change and evolution.

DOING IT ANYWAY

One morning I asked my seven-year-old son to go and brush his teeth. (I love that this request always comes as a surprise, even though I ask him every single morning and every single night!) My son's response surprised me (okay, maybe it didn't but his actual words struck me). He turned to me, looked me square in the eye and, in a genuine and gentle manner, simply said, ‘No, I don't feel like it'.

It had never occurred to me that you could be in a mood to not want to brush your teeth. Being bored, angry, frustrated or love-struck, or even wanting to daydream — I didn't think any of these were really a tipping point to prevent us from brushing our teeth. Regardless of how you are feeling, you go through the motions — because, well, it's kinda gross if you don't.

Then why do we apply this ‘regardless of how you feel you do it anyway' rule to shining the pearly whites, but we don't apply it to other behaviours that are equally important for us to do each day? For example:

1. We skip exercise, because we're not in the mood.
2. We avoid important conversations, because we're waiting to feel bulletproof.
3. We don't get around to starting that new project, because we're not ready yet.

When we don't have the energy to do what matters, we assume we're not ‘meant to'.

When it comes to tripping up progress nothing does it better than our own heads. Our self-doubt and fear of uncertainty kick in and we are left feeling lost and blindfolded, unsure of what move we should be making next. Facing these fears and increasing our tolerance for uncertainty has a way of shifting our mindset towards making progress.

    FREAK OUT WRAP UP

When it comes to setting up processes that will drive real progress — and so shift from blindfolded to having a blueprint, from idea to action, and from having your progress hidden to making it visible — come back to these three key actions:

1. Map it: values are clear but progress is not. Take the time to map out your goals, set in motion the rituals, schedule in your review dates, and get clear about the actions that get the traction for progress.
2. Chunk it: get out of the inertia that can happen when you've got an initial plan. Chunk down your time into 90-day targets and 30-day themes, and then focus on the 10 hours that matter every week. Do this and your inner rock star will shine.
3. See it: unless we make progress visible we can never be certain we've made it, and we've got no check-in to jolt us when we haven't. Start by combatting the four archenemies of progress: perfectionism, procrastination, pessimism and people-pleasing. Then get progress up so you can see it, maintaining the motivation of momentum.