Part 10
Managing Lower-Level Managers

Become the change you wish to see in the world.

—Gandhi

Most of this aspect of your job will be about setting an example with your behavior and your communication style. If you model respect, investment, kindness, tenacity, courage, and discipline, in both word and deed, there’s a good chance that those who manage beneath you will follow suit. The fish rots from the head down, but the converse must also be true! Instead of cursing the darkness (and there’s a lot of “darkness” out there when it comes to inept management!), light a candle and show others the way. Be the person you want them to be.

Of course, if you are okay with being a bully, a bloviator, or a bigwig, feel free, but know that those “beneath” you will be affected by your behavior—and your words.

When a Manager Avoids Confrontation

Gentle

• Trust me, if you spare the rod, you’ll spoil the team. [joking]

• The mark of a gifted manager is knowing when to reward them and when to give them a swift kick in the pants. [joking]

• Think of confrontation as a gift that you can give someone who deserves another chance.

• Think of this as an opportunity to bring out the best in your team.

• I know this is hard, but courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

• I know how difficult some people can be, but you are the one they are all looking to for direction.

• It isn’t easy to learn how to be the tough guy, but I promise it does get easier.

• What about this makes you uncomfortable? Maybe I can help talk you through it.

• Think of it this way: I’m doing it with you right now!

• Once they see you’re willing to be the heavy, you’ll have a lot less difficulty managing.

• There’s a time and a season for everything, including laying down the law.

• I know it’s not easy for you, but you need to get more comfortable with this part of your job.

• They are all looking to you to lead them. Can you do that?

• Your lack of leadership is causing problems on your team.

• If you don’t acquire a backbone, your employees will run all over you.

Directive

• I can’t force you to discipline your team; you have to learn that on your own.

• As a manager you’re expected to be able to handle this kind of stuff.

• If you’re unwilling to be the disciplinarian, perhaps this isn’t the right position for you.

• No employee will respect a manager whose sole aim is to be liked.

• If you can’t keep order within your team, I will need to write you up.

• How can you expect your team to perform well when you can’t do your job?

• If you are that helpless I may as well get a baby-sitter for you, too.

When a Manager Isn’t Leading Effectively

Encouraging

• I know you have it in you; now, show me what you can do!

• You are a gifted leader; you just need to put your natural abilities into practice.

• If I can learn how to lead well, anyone can!

• I can see that you’re trying, but there is more that needs to be done in this area.

• I know you mean well, but this is an area that needs some improvement.

• Nobody is a born leader. It takes a lot of practice and a willingness to fail.

• A lot of this will be trial and error, but you have to be willing to get your hands dirty.

• They are looking to you for direction, and you need to step up and give it to them.

Punitive

• This position requires real leadership. Are you equal to the task?

• You are going to need to step up and be more accountable as a leader.

• A rudderless ship is destined to founder. Is that what you want?

• There are leaders and there are followers, and it looks as though you will always be a follower.

• I’m not sure you’re the right person for this job anymore.

• The fish rots from the head down, you know.

• You need to lead already or just step down.

When a Manager Micromanages

Subtle

• Are you comfortable with the way you are overseeing everything? Why or why not?

• You must be exhausted, having to watch everyone like a hawk all day long.

• A team that has room to innovate is the best kind of team to lead.

• There’s nothing that pleases employees more than being trusted to do a good job.

• If you give your team a little breathing room, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the results.

• The more empowered your team, the more effective you will be as a manager.

• I know you are anxious, but you need to relax and let your people find their own level.

• Do you not trust your people? Why would you hire people you don’t trust?

Directive

• Micromanaging is like a rocking chair: There’s a lot of movement, but it never gets you anywhere.

• By micromanaging you are telling your people that you don’t believe in them.

• How will you ever know what your team is capable of if you never give them a chance?

• Your management style is a bit—how shall I say it?—stifling.

• We are all professionals here; no one needs to be babysat.

• Your people have complained that they feel as though Big Brother is watching them.

• Micromanaging will never guarantee success. Empowering your employees will.

• I trust you to do a good job; now, accord that same respect to your team.

• I appreciate your commitment, but you need to lay off the micromanagement tactics.

• Smothering your team will not put you in their good graces.

• Your team knows what they’re doing; they don’t need you to hold their hands all the time.

• I’ve heard that life in your department is like life under a microscope. Is this true?

• Relax, Mr. Manager. If you’ve hired the right team, they’ll get the job done.

• You are slowly killing your team’s morale, investment, and motivation.

• I’m not sure your management style is a good fit here anymore.

• Either the micromanaging stops or I’m going to have to replace you.

When a Manager Cannot Delegate

Subtle

• The best managers are those who recognize and use each employee’s special skills.

• Being a great leader is like conducting an orchestra: The conductor doesn’t play all the parts.

• My favorite managers have always been those who use everyone’s unique strengths.

• You’re obviously invested in your work, but others need to be involved, too.

• Maybe you need to let go a little and let your people do their jobs.

• Delegation is difficult for capable people like you, but you may just be surprised at the results.

• I know you think you can do it better, and you probably can, but that’s not an effective way to manage.

• If you never delegate, your team will feel as though you don’t trust them to finish anything.

• If you want to take on all the work yourself, why pay the salaries of all those people on your team?

• Being able to delegate is liberating and, ultimately, much more effective in the long run.

• Managers who don’t involve their team in the work soon won’t have a team to involve.

• A manager who can’t delegate isn’t a manager. She is an automaton.

• Some people on your team are starting to call you a control freak. What do you think of that?

• Nobody likes a manager who hogs all the interesting work.

• No one here is indispensible—not even you.

• No one is doing anything in your department but you, yet they’re all getting paid. Why is that?

Directive

• If you can’t delegate, you’ll eventually burn out and completely demoralize your team in the process.

• I have no use for a manager who refuses or is unable to delegate.

• Either you fix this or you’re out.

When a Manager Is Bullying Subordinates

Gentle

• Do your employees seem happy to you? Can you think of a reason why that might be?

• Don’t you see how miserable your people are?

• Do you think you get the best from a team that is miserable and demoralized?

• You inspire fear but not respect. Is that what you want?

• Don’t you think it’s unfair to pick on those who are less powerful than you?

• There is a huge difference between being authoritative and being authoritarian.

• There is an old saying: “Walk softly but carry a big stick.”

• I think you need a little more carrot and a little less stick.

• I know you think you’re helping, but look at how unhappy your people are.

• You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

• Here’s a hint: It’s in your best interest to treat your people with respect.

• Positive reinforcement is much more effective than put-downs and abuse.

Harsh

• Your approach may work in the short term, but you have to think long term, here.

• There is a big difference between being directive and just being a bully.

• If you treat your people this way, how can you expect them to treat each other well?

• I can’t understand why you would ever think that bullying your subordinates is okay.

• Your people may not be able to stand up to you, but I will be more than happy to do so on their behalf.

• I think you need to think long and hard about your need to always put people down.

• This company is a bully-free zone—or maybe you didn’t get that memo?

• Watch your step. You may end up on the receiving end of that kind of treatment someday.

• Do you have any idea how brutal you are with others? Maybe we need to record you.

• You need to lighten up before someone takes out a bounty on your head.

• Take a hint, Caesar: There’s a little bit of Brutus in every subordinate.

• Congratulations on completely ruining any chance you and your team ever had for success here. [sarcasm]

• I will not tolerate your demoralizing your team in this manner. Either cut it out or get out.

When a Manager Is Too Laissez-Faire

Gentle

• If I were you, I would need a bit more structure in my team’s daily routine.

• I know you trust your people, but you need to also show them that you care about results.

• A certain amount of centralized leadership always seems to help keep things on track.

• I know you like things relaxed around the office, but where is the productivity?

• Your lack of energy and investment is contagious. Do you realize that?

• I know you’re a laid-back kind of person, but how will any work ever get done?

• Your workers definitely like you, but I wonder if you have their respect.

• What would you think of being a bit tighter with your expectations, going forward?

• Don’t be afraid to be the bad guy sometimes; they will respect you for it later.

• When everyone is in charge, no one is in charge.

• As a manager you have a great deal of power here, if you’d only use it.

• Holding people accountable is a necessary part of management; I suggest you try it.

• I’m not sure your management style is effective; perhaps we could talk about that.

• Your people are running all over you and making you look bad. Don’t you care?

• “Laissez-faire” is the opposite of “do your share.” Understand?

• Some managers have a wishbone where their backbone ought to be.

Harsh

• Your inability to take charge is killing your chances for success.

• There’s nothing wrong with being laid back, but your team is completely taking advantage of you.

• Why should we keep paying you to basically do nothing here?

• You are fiddling while Rome burns.

• I don’t see how I can entrust an entire department to someone who obviously cares so little.

When a Manager Is Too Friendly With the Team

Gentle

• It’s good that you care about your team, but it’s important to keep those boundaries intact.

• I think we can strike a better balance between friendliness and respect. What do you think?

• If you are all buddy-buddy with your team, how will you be able to discipline them?

• I would be more comfortable if you were more objective with your team.

• You need to understand that a real leader is an authority figure, not a friend.

• A overly friendly/intimate leadership style rarely produces stellar results.

• If you get too close with your crew, you will lose your ability to think objectively.

• A “fraternity” management style is not the best approach, here

• You’re getting too close to your team for your—and their—own good.

• We don’t recommend fraternizing with one’s direct reports; it just creates too many problems.

Harsh

• You can’t lead and hang out with your team at the same time. It just doesn’t work.

• A true leader helps his team achieve greatness; what you’re doing is called fraternization.

• Your excessive closeness to your team is being perceived as a sign of weakness.

• Being that intimate with one’s inferiors is de-meaning to them and to you.

• You really need to put some professional distance between you and your team.

• If you were any closer to your team you’d be borrowing their clothes.

• You’re much too close to your subordinates and it’s getting in the way of work.

• Either you start acting like a manager or you’re out.

When a Manager Is Playing Favorites

Subtle

• Everyone here needs to feel that they’re equally engaged with leadership.

• I’d like to see your enthusiasm and investment extend to all your team members.

• It’s natural to gravitate toward certain people, but as a manager you need to remain fair and unbiased.

• Can you think of a reason why some employees may be feeling unappreciated or neglected?

• When employees feel ignored or underappreciated, it has a negative effect on morale.

Directive

• You have a lot of talent on your team that you aren’t putting to good use.

• Your whole team needs to know that you have their backs, not just your favorites.

• It’s important that you invest in each member of your team, not just a select few.

• I think if you stepped back from the situation you’d realize you’re being unfair to the rest of the team.

• If you focus on an “inner circle” while excluding the rest, the whole team will suffer.

• Playing favorites isn’t fair to anyone, especially you!

• Doling out preferential treatment just makes you look weak and ineffective.

• Leadership is not about establishing cliques, playing favorites, or being in the “in” crowd.

• You may not realize this, but your management style is alienating the majority of your team.

• You’re being unfair to the rest of your team members and it needs to stop.

• I don’t like the dynamic you’ve set up in your department; either something changes or you’re out.

When a Manager Is Lazy

Polite

• It seems like you’re in a bit of a rut; is there anything I can do to help?

• I sense a lack of motivation on your part; is it something I’ve done?

• I’m getting the sense that you’re just not invested in your work. What’s going on?

• You seem to take the way of least resistance pretty often; can you tell me why that might be?

• Look, I wish I could coast through my days, too, but there’s a lot more at stake here than our comfort.

• Everyone hits the wall occasionally, but you’ve got to shake it off and get back to work.

• I know it’s difficult, but you’ve got to keep your nose to the grindstone.

• I understand that you’re not feeling the love, but you’ve got a team to manage.

• I sense a lack of urgency and commitment coming from you.

• If you don’t get back into the groove, I sense a rocky road ahead for you.

• Tell me why I should continue to invest in a manager who doesn’t care.

• Your abysmal work ethic is infecting this entire company; I can’t have that.

• Lose the lazy attitude, okay?

• I’m not paying you to show up and do nothing; get it together or you’re through.

• Please, share with me your secret to eternal idleness. [sarcasm]

• I so rarely get to meet a man of leisure. However do you do it? [sarcasm]

Rude

• Do you ever think you’ll find it in yourself to get some work done? [sarcasm]

• You need to man up and get back to work, or I’m done with you.

• You’ve become a dead weight here, so I have no choice but to fire you.