Part 2
Ethics and Legalities

Judgment comes through experience; experience comes through bad judgment.

—Unknown

It can be reassuring to have so many clear-cut rules and regulations governing how businesses are run these days. For example, knowing that you cannot physically abuse your reports—nor can they abuse you—is a very clear cut line that should never be crossed from either direction. But we all know that people don’t always observe the rules. They think the rules don’t apply to them or that they are somehow above the law. If this describes you, you clearly have a problem that is bigger than just you and your department!

Fortunately, chances are you’re an honest sort who wants to do the right thing. But even with all those rules, it’s not always easy. Anyone who has ever studied law or ethics will tell you that the ways in which the rules can or ought to be applied is not always clear-cut. So naturally, it’s usually best to vet any legal or ethical issues with HR and, if necessary, in-house counsel before you respond to the situation at hand. Once you know what you’re dealing with, check out the phrases in this section. They may just help you communicate more effectively in these difficult situations.

When an Employee Violates Safety Regulations

Lenient

• Everyone slips up now and then; just be more careful next time.

• I’m sure it was an honest mistake. Let’s go over the safety rules again.

• Just make sure you never do that again.

• Everyone cuts corners occasionally, but getting caught will get us both fired.

• I would feel terrible if you got injured.

• What’s the point of taking those kinds of risks?

• Safety is everyone’s priority, and that includes you, too.

• Remember what they said in kindergarten? Safety first.

• It’s everyone’s responsibility to stay safe, and you need to understand that.

• I didn’t make the safety guidelines, but we all need to abide by them.

• You’ve endangered everyone here, not just yourself. Remember that.

• I’ll let this pass this one time, but don’t let it happen again.

• One more violation and I’ll have to report you.

• It’s pretty simple: Be safe on the job or be prepared to face the consequences.

• You’ve left me no choice but to put you on probation/demote you/fire you.

• Other people have been lax about safety, sure, but they’re no longer with the company.

• We have a two-strike policy here; it happens again and you’re fired.

• I don’t give a damn about you. It’s my company that you are putting at risk.

Stringent

• There’s simply no place in this company for someone who flaunts the basic rules of safety.

• You are perhaps the sloppiest employee I’ve ever encountered.

• There may be more egregious mistakes, but I can’t think of any at the moment.

• Some people don’t think safety is important. Some of those people are dead now.

• Yes, you are fired, but be grateful you aren’t dead.

• I have to fire you before you get yourself or someone else killed.

• If you like to play with danger so much, maybe you should go jump off a cliff.

When an Employee Abuses the Company Credit Card/Expense Account

Lax

• I’m sure you didn’t mean any harm. Did you at least get anything good?

• Everyone does it at some point; just don’t let it happen again.

• I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding. Let’s review the policy again.

• Slip-ups are understandable; just watch yourself in the future.

• I’m sure that was an honest slip. At least I’m assuming it was.

• We need to figure this out before the higher-ups get wind of it.

• I was just reviewing your expense report and there are a few red flags I want to go over.

• Did you get the company card mixed up with your personal card or something?

Punitive

• There are holes in your expense report big enough to drive a truck through.

• No one else on the trip had these kinds of expenditures. How can you justify this?

• About half of the items you expensed are questionable. If you can’t rein it in, we’ll have to pursue the matter from a higher level.

• Some people around here turn a blind eye to oddities on the credit statement, but not me.

• This kind of petty theft won’t wash here.

• This is a serious matter that I cannot let slide.

• I never pegged you for a thief.

• I believe this amounts to “Grand Theft Expense Account.”

• No one can take advantage of us like that.

• In all my years of working here, this is the most extreme case of expense report padding I’ve ever seen.

• Please turn in your company credit card. And while you’re at it, bring your ID card, too. You’re fired.

When an Employee Lies

Lax

• We all tell little white lies from time to time.

• I’m sure you meant no harm by your statement.

• If I didn’t know you better, I’d say your pants were on fire. [joking]

• Who am I to point a bony finger at you?

• Everyone steps in it from time to time. Best not to make it a habit, though.

Punitive

• I’m going to let you restate that, because I know I didn’t hear you right.

• It doesn’t look like you have your facts straight. Perhaps there’s been a misunderstanding?

• Between you and me, your statement just doesn’t feel right.

• We have an honesty policy here, so perhaps you should rethink what you just said.

• Telling lies will never get you where you want to go.

• No one has ever lied their way to the top and stayed there for long.

• When you start lying, the problem is that you never know when to stop.

• It would be best to think first next time.

• People who lie completely lose my respect.

• What you said just doesn’t add up.

• There is no way that can be true.

• I have never heard anything so preposterous in my life.

• Do you simply lack the capacity to be truthful?

• Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

• You’re not a very good liar, you know.

• Lie to me twice? Shame on me!

• If you continue running your mouth, I’ll run you out of town.

• You have no idea just how damaging your words are.

• Methinks your tongue is forked.

• I come from a long line of liars; it takes one to know one.

• How can I tell you’re lying? You lips are moving.

When an Employee Steals

Circuitous

• I did the accounting this morning and came up a little short. There must be some mistake.

• You haven’t seen that missing money/item by chance, have you?

• Do you know anything about the missing money/merchandise/supplies?

• If you have any information about the missing funds, we would appreciate it.

• If you have something that belongs to us, you can give it back now, no questions asked.

• If you took the money, it would be better if you came forward of your own accord.

• There is only a small window in which the missing money can be returned without penalty. I would recommend it.

• We are showing a significant loss. What do you know about this?

• I don’t know who did this, but I’ll figure it out.

• Your story has too many holes to be credible.

• I can’t say that we caught you red-handed, but you were the only person with access and motive.

• We never had a theft like this until you showed up.

• The only problem with your story is that you didn’t count on witnesses.

• When I reach for my wallet, it seems that your hand is already there.

• I believe you have something that we want, yes?

• I know you’re the guilty party. Just fess up.

• You had motive, opportunity, and means.

Direct

• Drop the stolen goods, then leave before I call the police.

• I’m calling the police.

• You’re fired, and we’ll see you in court.

When an Employee Steals Someone’s Idea

Subtle

• Describe to me how you came up with this idea. It’s really good!

• This seems remarkably similar to so-and-so’s idea. That sure seems like a coincidence!

• I could be wrong, but didn’t I see something else like this recently?

• I’ve seen all of this before and unfortunately it was on your associate’s drawing board.

• I was once tempted to use someone else’s idea, but then I realized that it was basically stealing.

• While I wouldn’t call this out-and-out thievery, it basically is, if you think about it.

• You do realize that this violates almost all the tenets of intellectual property, don’t you?

• I think that any competent copyright attorney could help you see the error of your ways.

• I have no respect for people who steal the ideas of others.

• We see this kind of thing all the time, and it won’t garner you any praise here.

• I’m surprised that you would stoop this low, given your intelligence and originality.

• You don’t have a single original idea in your head, do you?

• Only a coward would steal so outrageously.

Overt

• There is no excuse for stealing.

• You would copy your mother’s own recipe for apple pie.

• If you’re okay with ripping off other people, who knows what you’ll be capable of in the future?

• You know what happens to thieves and plagiarists, don’t you? They get fired.

When an Employee Leaks Confidential Information

Lenient

• I’m sure it was an accident, but please be more careful next time.

• What you divulged was relatively trivial, thank goodness.

• It’s so easy to forget how critical this kind of information is; next time you’ll know better, I’m sure.

• We would never be able to stay in business if all our secrets were given away; I hope you understand that.

• No one has the right to leak confidential information.

• Everyone suffers when someone can’t withhold confidential information.

• A simple slip of the lip can ruin everything. You really need more control over your tongue.

• Company secrets are called “secrets” for a reason. How can you not get that?

• It isn’t my place to judge you, but you really need to straighten up and fly right.

• We have rules about this, and there are stiff penalties for those who can’t follow the rules.

Punitive

• Confidentiality is everyone’s business, even yours.

• Keeping our company’s secrets safe is Job One for everyone.

• When did it ever become a good thing to sell us out to a competitor?

• Your failure to protect our information is inexcusable.

• You’ve betrayed us. How can we not take that personally?

• You sold out me and your fellow employees. How does that feel?

• I never pegged you for a spy or, worse, a Quisling.

• People who can’t keep their mouths closed have a way of leaving here rather quickly.

• There is only one word that fits you: Blabbermouth.

• If you can’t keep your lip zipped, you can’t work here.

• By leaking secret information, you’ve crossed the line.

• Apparently you never learned how to keep your mouth shut.

When an Employee Is Sexually Harassing Someone

Lenient

• I’m sure you didn’t mean to be offensive, but just think of it from the other person’s point of view.

• Although I know your motives were pure, you’re going to need to watch that going forward.

• That may have been tolerated in other companies you’ve worked for, but not by us.

• Some of this behavior is pathological. You really should get some help.

• No one can be allowed to continue doing what you’re doing—not you, not me, not anyone.

• Using sexual innuendo around an employee isn’t helping you here. You should stop doing it right away.

• There is no excuse for acting in an inappropriate way, especially in light of our sexual harassment training.

• Your inability to control yourself is going to land you in hot water.

• We have policies against sexual harassment here, but they do no good if they’re ignored.

• I would like to discuss your inappropriate behavior with you in private.

• Once you cross the line it will be too late. You really need to rein yourself in.

• I’ll let this go this one time, but next time there will likely be consequences.

• Behavior like yours can’t be tolerated, but I don’t see myself being the whistleblower.

• God knows I’m not perfect, either, but we need some sense of order around here.

Punitive

• You’re only putting a noose around your own neck. Cut it out.

• Just keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll get what you get.

• Forewarned is forearmed. Ignore this warning at your peril.

• It’s a wonder you’ve gotten this far. Watch yourself.

• I never realized you were such a creep.

• There is no place around here for a louse like you. Get help or get out.

• Your behavior sickens me, and I’m sure it makes other people sick, too.

• You’re obviously compensating for your low self-esteem; perhaps some counseling would help.

• Your behavior can get us both fired. Stop it right now or I’ll blow the whistle on you.

• Clearly you have no morals. You’re fired.

When an Employee Is Bullying or Threatening Someone

Lenient

• You seem really angry. Is there something I can do to help?

• We all need to vent from time to timel; tell me what’s going on.

• Everyone gets a little hot under the collar sometimes, but we can’t tolerate bullying or threats.

• I agree that this person can be frustrating, but you can’t let it get to you.

• You have the right to your feelings, just not the right to express them the way that you have been.

Punitive

• This is a no-bullying zone. I hope you understand that.

• There is no stigma in being a bully if you simply admit that you need help.

• Self-control is a necessary attribute in all of my employees, including you.

• I know some anger management classes that could help you.

• I think you should seek out professional help to get your behavior under control.

• Bully tactics aren’t tolerated here. You need to check yourself.

• I don’t care how mad you are; you can’t go around acting like that. Period.

• We would be happy to get you some professional help under strict confidentiality.

• I used to bully people, too—when I was in grammar school.

• Keep it up and someone is going to put you in your place.

• No one likes or respects a bully—or didn’t you get that memo?

• If acting out were an Olympic sport, you’d take the gold medal.

• The solution is really simple: Cut it out, or you’re fired.

• I once knew a guy who couldn’t control his temper. He may or may not still be in jail.

• What happened to you that you are such a sadist?

• Did someone drop you on your head when you were a baby?

• There is no place here for an infantile bully like you. Pack your things and get out.

When an Employee Is Injured at Work

Concerned

• Your health and safety are my primary concerns; the work is secondary.

• You’re hurt. Don’t even think of coming back to work!

• Please take the rest of the day off and see a doctor.

• I feel terrible you got hurt. Can I help in any way?

• I once had an experience like that. How are you doing?

• From where I was sitting that looked serious. Do you need a ride home?

• You should rest up and take care of yourself until you are better.

• That looks serious. You’d better get it seen to right away.

• Don’t worry, I’ll have someone else take over for a while.

• Are you sure you can continue? Maybe you should sit it out for a spell.

• Don’t be a hero; make sure you’re okay before you dive back in, okay?

• When do you think you’ll be able to come back? I’m just concerned about your workload.

• I know you think you’re okay, but I don’t want any lawsuits down the road.

• It’s your decision. Do whatever you’re most comfortable with.

• You could take a little more time if you wanted, but do what you think is best.

• If you think you need some time off, feel free to speak to the folks in HR.

• As they say, the show must go on.

Dismissive

• We really need to finish up today. What would you recommend?

• Please get back to work as soon as you can; we’re under the gun here.

• Well, no one likes a malingerer, but do what you think is best.

• This has never happened here before; I get the feeling you did it on purpose.

• You don’t expect me to let you off after every little scrape, do you?

• If I’d known you were such a baby, I would never have hired you in the first place.

When an Employee Uses the Internet Unadvisedly

Lenient

• Everyone surfs the Web at work, but it needs to be within reasonable limits.

• Just FYI: It’s okay to check Facebook once in a while, but not throughout the entire day.

• The Internet has had a negative effect on productivity, so we’re taking it away from everyone.

• Now I understand why your work has been suffering so much lately. What can we do about this?

• While a little bit of Web surfing goes with the territory, you’re overstepping the boundaries.

• Please confine your Web browsing to work-related activities.

• You could be a lot more productive with a lot less surfing on the Web.

• Some employees set a timer to tell them when their online time is over.

Strict

• People who can’t stop surfing are usually addicted—but that isn’t you, is it?

• The only shame in this is in not admitting you need help.

• IT sent me your surfing report and I was pretty shocked.

• Look, it’s definitely a problem, but the solution is fairly simple: Just knock it off.

• Since when is this a part of your job description?

• Wow! You certainly enjoy social media, don’t you? [sarcastic]

• If it happens again, I’ll make sure your Web privileges are suspended.

• Don’t think for a minute that we can’t tell what you’re doing.

• Not a threat, but the last person who assumed he was above the rules is now pumping gas.

• Get it under control or your job will be in jeopardy.

• Seems like you might have an internet addiction. Ever thought of getting some counseling?

• If you can’t concentrate on your work, you’ll need to work for someone else.