Happiness is wanting what you already have. This is not the Madison Avenue definition of happiness. In fact, this definition is the polar opposite of Madison Avenue's mantra that happiness is having more than you have now. It is an old and worn sermon we have heard a million times that things won't make us happier. Yet we watch the ads and begin to accept the underlying message that possessions define the person. We begin to develop a keen sense of peripheral vision regarding our neighbors' homes and the possessions that fill those homes. Soon, we too have assumed the definition of happiness that Madison Avenue has designed for us: the more you have, the happier you'll be. You really won't be happy until you get the things you want.

But the true key to happiness is not getting those things; it is in changing what we want. If you cannot sense the emotion of contentment with your current circumstances, what makes you think you will feel it with your desired circumstances? Your desired circumstances will only change your view. Once you get there, you will be subjected to a whole new and higher realm of advertising proclaiming that you can have more than this.

Money won't make you happy, but neither will poverty.

These comments are not pious rantings against possessions and a home on the hill. Possessions can be personal rewards for significant labors—and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Where many individuals go wrong, however, is in believing that things, once possessed, will make them happy. Ultimately, they will not. In fact, as many of those who possess the things you may think you want will tell you, these things have the potential to make you unhappy because all things of value require responsibility and insecurity. A bigger house means more work, more maintenance, and more things that can go wrong—at a bigger price tag. Part of the price tag of that shiny new car, boat, or other luxury item is insecurity, because now there is worry about damage and risk.

It's important to settle in our minds that happiness is a state of mind and not a state of material ownership. If we do not settle this fact, we are destined to a maze of futility at a very high price.

When I started making really good money, I decided to buy myself a really nice watch, something in the Rolex genre. In the midst of my search I stopped myself with the thought that I wasn't really being honest with myself as to why I wanted this watch. I came to the conclusion that the motive I was articulating didn't agree with what I was feeling. I said I wanted the watch because 'I wanted a nice-looking, dependable timepiece.' But what I was feeling inside was that I simply wanted to impress others with my achievements. I asked myself if I really needed to spend $ 7,000 to tell everyone I had made it. I thought of some of my family back home who wouldn't know a Rolex from a Timex. I came to a compromise. I decided I did indeed want to reward myself with a fine timepiece but that I would not choose a brand that was a blatant advertisement of my achievement. I bought a brand every bit as beautiful and dependable as a Rolex but far less recognizable to the masses. This decision started a very powerful line of reasoning that, so far, has kept me from buying a bigger house and more expensive car than I need and has helped to keep my materialism in check. It's like the old saying, 'We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.' And I'm trying not to go down that path.

—Doug, financial professional, 35

Happiness is easy. Don't complicate it. If you want what you have, you are happy.

Fulfillment is optimizing the use of your abilities. Fulfillment is easy, too. It is doing the things you love to do. It is expressing your working soul. It is engaging in work that energizes you rather than depletes you. It does not necessarily come from success in your career because the career you are in may not be the soul-felt expression of who you are. When you are expressing who you are with your work, you have shaken hands with fulfillment. Once you discover this relationship between who you are and what you do, it is awfully difficult to go back to work that engages the hands but not the heart. Taste of this water and you will no longer be satisfied with simply making a living.

I remember well the lack of fulfillment I felt at one point in my career because I was doing the same routine over and over. I knew I needed an outlet for the creative impulse within me. I wasn't fulfilled until I found ways to express that creativity. I now know that I can never go back to work that clogs this creative expression. My first criterion today when I am offered work is not how much I'll make but, rather, whether it will be a creative challenge. Once you discover the work that fulfills you, it will be hard, if not impossible, to disengage yourself from it.

Balance is walking the tightrope between too much and not enough. Work, family, and leisure—when we get them in balance, we enjoy life. Feeling as if we're having fun in life is a good indicator that we have achieved some degree of balance. How many people do you know who have worked hard for so long that they no longer know how to relax when they get the opportunity? How many people do you know who are so busy supporting their family that they never see their family? What do they achieve by neglecting the very people that motivate them to earn a good living? People today are aware of these issues and are no longer as willing to put their personal life in a deep freeze for the sake of their company's goals. It is becoming quite frequent in interviews to hear the applicant ask, "Will I have a life?" A growing percentage of employees are willing to trade more income for more time and flexibility.

At the other extreme of the life balance pendulum are the individuals who have so much time for leisure that they have lost their sense of purpose and significance, and, consequently, their fun is no longer fun. There is a fine balance to be achieved in attending to the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual sides of our being. There is also a fine balance to be achieved in attending to the working, familial, and frolicking sides of our being.

Satisfaction is improving the quality of our efforts and relationships. I believe that satisfaction is a quality issue. If we are constantly seeking to raise the level of quality in the products and services we are involved with, if we are constantly striving to improve key relationships in our life, and if we are living a thoughtful, self-examined life, we will feel a sense of satisfaction.

When talking to those who feel a sense of dissatisfaction in their life, I see a recurring pattern of lukewarm relationships and a lack of conviction about the impact and meaning of their daily work. It is important to look for opportunities to satisfy your need for inner satisfaction at the place you are today before you start believing greener grasses elsewhere will fill that appetite. I recently talked with a woman who told me she needed to get back to helping the homeless so she could feel a greater sense of satisfaction about her life. She felt her life was too self-absorbed at the time. I began to ask her what she did in her job that helped others. She thought about it and said that she gave seminars that helped women discover financial independence. After she said that, she suddenly realized she was ignoring a great source of inner satisfaction right under her nose. Satisfaction can often be fulfilled by appreciating the things we do now and by striving to do them better. Satisfaction revolves around the quality of our efforts and our relationships.

Security is possessing the freedom to pursue our goals. Whether our goals are anchored in work, family, leisure, or all of the above, we feel a sense of security only when we know we will have the freedom to continue pursuing those goals. People may feel insecure about their job for fear of getting laid off and not being able to pursue the work goals they desire. Others fear they will not have enough assets to be able to pursue the lifestyle they want in their retirement years. Possessing adequate finances can unquestionably provide a great degree of security because it can give us a material guarantee of sorts that we will be able to do what we want with our life. This is the security that modern retirement represents for most people. Life will always present us with opportunities to feel insecure because very little in this world is guaranteed. We may have the money to do what we want, but our health could diminish and rob us of our mobility and activity. We can make all sorts of plans for our future, but we have no guarantee that those plans will pan out.

Security hinges on more than just the health of our assets; it is also affected by the health of our body and close relationships. As billionaire Warren Buffett put it, "The only two things that can make you truly happy in this world are people that love you and being healthy, and money can't buy you either one of those." We can, however, build on our sense of security by staying close to those who love us, form good physical habits, and keep putting away all we can toward our financial emancipation.

Significance is making the best use of our time. Viktor Frankl stated that man's chief motivation was the need for significance. People are motivated by a need to make a difference somehow in others' lives—to feel they are making a contribution that is significant. Many people erroneously believe that a sense of significance will be satisfied by the acquisition of power and control over others. It cannot. This inward sense of significance is satisfied by the best possible use of our most valuable resource: time.

We all have only so many days on this earth, and those days are fleeting. Look at how quickly the last decade has seemed to pass. Parents get a magnified perspective on the fleeting nature of time as they watch their children sprout and exit while they feel almost the same as they did 15 years ago. People want to make a difference in other people's lives. People want to make a difference in the work they do. People want to make a difference with the wise distribution of their time, energy, and resources. Money has the power to feed this significance only when it is shared or emancipates us to share our time and skills. Charity and volunteerism can be crucial to a sense of significance in our lives.

A person who works in a job but doesn't see the benefit of that job to the end user will lack a sense of significance. He will feel that he is wasting his time. A person who is a workaholic and misses all her children's meaningful activities will feel that she is abusing the short time she has. Significance is closely related to how we manage the time we have.

Success is the satisfaction of reaching our goals. Success is a sense that relies heavily on moving toward or achieving personal goals. But the term success must be broadened beyond the material to have real meaning in our life. The truly successful individual has goals involving who they are (character), what they do (career), and what they possess (wealth)—and, more than likely, in that order of importance. How successful does an individual who is garnering riches but failing in the personal character department feel? It is a truth that our reputation is worth its weight in gold. Financial success could be defined as having enough to meet your own needs and the needs of those you choose to help. This is a worthy financial goal. Career success could be defined as having the opportunity to pursue your career goals. We feel most successful when we are actively pursuing our heartfelt goals. As long as we are actively pursuing personal goals and making progress toward them, our sense of success and confidence will be fed.