The starting point for a great deal of skilful thinking is to define clearly in your mind what it is you’re doing. Messy thinking is the enemy because it’s unproductive at best and, at worst, can lead you into more trouble than you started with. This is never more true than when you’re thinking your way out of a problem.

You have to know exactly what the problem is and why it needs solving. Look, suppose you’re off on holiday, you have all the family’s luggage loaded into the car ready for the journey, you’ve locked the front door, and you’re ready to go. Then, to your extreme frustration, the car won’t start. How are you going to solve that problem?

Hang on – which problem? I can see two key problems here: the fact the car isn’t working, and the fact that you’re supposed to be somewhere else. If you think you’re solving the first problem, you’ll get out your tools and lift the bonnet, or you’ll phone the garage. Might work, or it might turn out you need a part that won’t arrive before tomorrow at the earliest. So you’ll have to start phoning around everyone and anyone else that might be able to fix it, phone your destination and postpone your arrival until tomorrow or the day after, unload the car, go shopping (there’s no food in the house because you weren’t supposed to be here) …

Or you could solve the other problem. The problem that you’re here and you’re meant to be there. In that case, as soon as you establish the car can’t be fixed quickly, you need to focus on another way to get to where your holiday is waiting for you. You can sort the car out when you get home, by which time the part you need should have arrived. Or even leave someone with instructions to fix the car while you’re away. Now, can you afford to hire a car? Maybe you can borrow one? Do you even need a car once you’ve arrived, or could you travel by train or coach? You’ve got a whole different problem here.

It’s up to you which problem you need to solve but, if you don’t think it through properly, how can you be sure you’re solving the right one? A lot of problems are messy in this way – several frustrations or mini problems become conflated into one big messy problem. And the only way to arrive at a solution that works for you is to be very clear about untangling the knots to see which is the problem that you really need to get to grips with, or at least get to grips with first. Solving that issue often will take care of at least some of the others, or put you in a better position to address them.

One of the easiest ways to lose sight of this is when one of your component problems is urgent. Our instinct, when the car breaks down, is that it must be fixed as soon as possible and everything else must go on hold while we sort it out. However, if you create a situation where you don’t need the car for a few days, does it matter if it’s not fixed for a few days?