Well, duh! No, hang on. Actually it’s surprisingly easy to make the wrong decision by mistake. Usually that’s because we fall into the trap of focusing on the means rather than the end. I worked with someone who was quite sure she wanted to leave her job and go freelance. We had a long chat about it. She was unhappy and felt that working for herself would be a way of avoiding the problems she encountered as an employee. As we talked, however, it became clear that she hadn’t fully considered the implications of being freelance. Once she thought about it, she realised that the insecurity that goes along with freelancing really wouldn’t suit her. In the end she decided the best solution to her problems was to change careers and stay in employment. You see, she was focused on the wrong decision – should she go freelance – instead of getting to the root of it and asking herself how to get away from an unrewarding job.

As with problem solving, it’s an easy mistake to make and it can lead to some terrible decisions. Imagine if my colleague had gone ahead with her original plan. She could have been anxious and unhappy for a long time before realising that freelancing had been the wrong choice.

So how to avoid making the wrong decision? The easiest way is to emulate a three-year-old child and keep asking ‘Why?’ until you’ve got to the bottom of the problem that needs addressing. Whether you’re choosing a university, appointing a new member of staff, or building a house extension, keep working back until you get to the crux of it.

OK, suppose you’re deciding which uni to apply for. Why do you want to go to uni in the first place? There are more possible reasons than you might initially think. Do you want to learn about something that fascinates you? Or get a degree that will open doors to a particular career? Or spend three years somewhere fun while you grow up a bit and decide what to do next? Or something else? Or a mix of these? You should be able to see that until you understand why you want to study, you can’t know where you want to study, or which course to apply for, or even – possibly – whether you really want to go at all.

Or you might want to start your own business for one of several reasons: you want more flexible hours, or you don’t like working for other people, or you think you’ll earn more, or you can’t find a job, or you have a particular brilliant idea for a product, or you’ve always wanted to own a bookshop/be a photographer/work in sewage disposal. Again, drill down into these, asking ‘why’ as you go, until you’re confident that you’ve reached the foundation of the decision.

Not only is this thought process vital in itself, you’ll find over the course of the next few Rules that unless you’ve got this bit of the decision making right, you’ll struggle with the later stages.