Once again this is a natural follow-on from the last Rule. There are some feelings that you can most certainly help, as we’ve just seen. But quite apart from what other people ‘make’ you feel – or don’t – there’s a broader principle here.

We all talk to ourselves more than we probably realise. It’s not a sign of madness, it’s just how people are. Try monitoring your internal conversations for a few days, and listen out objectively for the tone of voice you use.

Some people have conciliatory, forgiving inner voices: ‘Never mind, you can’t do everything’, or ‘You may not have found time to call mum, but you managed everything else on today’s list’. Others have little slave-drivers in their heads: ‘You really should have managed that’, or ‘Poor mum, it’s not fair on her. She’ll be feeling abandoned and forgotten and it’s all your fault’.

If you spend most of your time being spoken to like this – even by yourself – you’ll soon start feeling inadequate and guilty, negative and with low self-esteem. So if you catch yourself doing this, stop and reinvent your inner voice. Start telling yourself how well you’re doing (realistically, of course), and cut yourself a bit of slack.

Once again, train yourself to think in positive terms. The moment you catch a negative thought about to form, and before it’s put itself into words, overlay it with the thought you’d like to have. Keep on doing this and you’ll find within a few days – if you’re persistent and relentless about it – that your mood lifts. Just as it would if you were on a long journey and swapped a miserable, doom-laden companion for a positive, sunny one. Which is pretty much what’s actually happening.

I’ve seen people with serious psychological disorders turned around by this approach. It’s hard work, but not for very long. It soon becomes habit most of the time and you rarely have to adjust your inner voice any more. Sometimes an emotional trauma can set you back a bit, but you have the wherewithal to get back on track.

Our inner voices have a lot to do with our backgrounds. If you’ve been brought up by critical parents you’re likely to have a more critical or negative inner voice than someone who’s been brought up by loving and reassuring parents. But the great news is that, with persistence, this strategy will work no matter how you got where you are.