13. Step 4: Don’t Get Too Big for Your Social Media Boots!
As you become involved in the social media scene, you’ll almost certainly encounter what has been coined as social media narcissism. It’s derived from what is more commonly termed Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) described by the psychiatrists’ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (or DSM) as “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.”
Narcissists (NPD people) have a “big personality” that is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, and prestige. Everyone has some need for attention, but NPD people are pathologically obsessed with it, and for many, social media is the perfect breeding ground for them. Recognition and awareness of this destructive, yet common disorder in the social media scene can save you intense pain and grief.
Throughout history, the rich and powerful among us have chosen to document their status through portraiture, with the help of the great artists who, in turn, have had their own portraits hung in the same galleries and museums. It’s a bid for immortality, if you like, a way to capture greatness for all to see. After all, we all strive to be noticed and remembered.
Today’s self-portraits are the digital kind, online representations of the people we want to be. They are created with pixels, tweets, and posts in favor of paint. They offer opportunities for self-expression but can all too easily display egotism and self-absorption.
It happens to us all; that point of complete self-assurance where the self becomes more important than the assurance, and make no mistake, it will happen to your business on the way to becoming one of the social media elite. It will sneak up on you unexpectedly like a thief in the night. One minute you’re tweeting about the importance of listening to your customers and of the virtues of gratitude in customer service and the next you’re retweeted to the point of becoming the next Messiah. Be warned! This is your red light, your signal to stop and take stock of what is happening.
Pay particular attention to any negative feedback because this can prove to be the most valuable of all.
You see, it’s all too easy to be seduced by the responses and comments surrounding that latest and greatest post. Be flattered and honored, but don’t allow the adulation to distract you. Remain focused and bear in mind that you’re only as good as your latest post, so continue to ensure that each new one is as good or better than the one before.
It’s not always about the “stun them with knowledge factor” either; social media success hinges on response and conversation, remember? A two-way stream. Sure, you want to make an impact and impart value as much as possible while giving your posts and tweets the wow factor, but you need to stay connected and in touch with your followers and subscribers and to make them feel as special as they make you feel with their positive feedback and acclaim.
And remember to pay especial attention to the negative feedback. Don’t sweep it under the rug with a “what do they know” click of your mouse. These are the comments that can prove the most valuable to your business and your social media longevity.
Dealing with Social Media Narcissists
It’s important to remember when dealing with social media narcissists that their personas are shallow and volatile. They may be your allies one moment and bitter enemies the next. You can recognize them by their inability (or refusal) to empathize and their single-voice or monotone postings, where any criticism is immediately deleted and its posters blocked. Generally, narcissists demand loyalty and ego stroking. If you choose to get involved in their world, be prepared to perpetually walk on eggshells and to keep your true feelings masked, no matter how disgusting or annoying the person’s behaviors are. Never criticize them unless you are willing to go on their permanent black list.
When you’ve spotted those social media narcissists, it’s best to steer well clear of them or be prepared to walk on eggshells for fear of being put on their black lists.
If you don’t need or want anything from the social media narcissist, it’s best to be cordial and distant from them. Keep firm boundaries. Stay far away and don’t allow you or your team to be drawn into their charismatic web of illusion. If they choose to attack you, remember that you don’t have to attack back. Participating in the world of the narcissist will undoubtedly only cause you setbacks and misery on your road to social media success.