Foreword

I had just finished a presentation to a large group of high potential employees and their leaders and was waiting in the lobby of the hotel for my ride to the airport. I watched as two gentlemen from the group briskly walked over to one another and exchanged a big, warm bear hug. I was intrigued since the group was quite formal and I walked over to them and asked how they knew one another. They said, almost in unison, that they were mentor and mentee. Always curious, I asked the mentee what made his mentor so great….he said, without skipping a beat, “he was authentic.” Then I asked the mentor what made his mentee so special and he said (also without skipping a beat) “he was hungry.” I never forgot those two words, because I think they define a wonderful mentor–mentee relationship and those words can be said about either partner.

Wendy wonderfully provides mentors and mentees with tips, tools, and exercises to fuel the passion behind both of those words. I’ve read a number of books on mentoring, written on it myself, and designed programs that make it come alive. Wendy does it better. 10 Steps to Successful Mentoring is the best book I’ve seen on the subject. I believe it can be used by both sides of the partnership.

Wendy and I have been on parallel paths in our work in the people-development arena for years. We are both devoted to our profession and care deeply about learning and sharing what it takes to develop people. Through the professional associations in which we participate (ATD prime among them), we each engage with others to present, discuss, and adapt development practices to the ever changing organizational and work landscape. When Wendy wrote her first book, Make Talent Your Business, it was clear she dove deeply into what develops people best, and what managers need to focus on. She has a decades-long commitment to developing people in house—in organizations where people work, learn, and grow. People grow especially well when the culture, managers, and peers are intentionally focused on development, with attention that is embedded in daily actions. How do organizations cultivate such a growth environment? That is what Wendy and I have been working on, and you will discover much more about it in this book.

Today’s workplace is more complex and tougher to navigate than ever before. In addition, over the last few years two notable trends have emerged among job seekers: they are favoring meaning in their work, even more than money; and, they are eager for growth. Mentoring plays an essential role in filling these needs, and can be powerful and life changing for the individuals receiving it. Yet, that’s just the beginning of the story. Mentoring can be positioned in organizations to increase performance, engagement and retention… and at little cost. Perhaps the most important benefit to those reading this book, is that when they do it masterfully, mentors receive incredible rewards that reach far beyond the months or years they spend with their mentee.

But, there is a catch. To do it well, there are deliberate skills involved; actions to take, and actions not to take. Many view mentoring as informal, believe anyone can do it, and anything goes. Under the banner of being a mentor, people jump in with advice, present fervent points of view, or ask questions that serve their own interests and curiosities, rather than the desires of those sitting across from them in the conversation. They talk more than they listen, steer not inspire, or provide solutions rather than enable new career enhancing behaviors. The results can be satisfactory, yet often miss out on the bigger possibilities of enduring development and relationships.

Wendy elegantly and expertly informs and inspires us to do this in the best possible way. This book points you in the right direction, deepens your skills, provides real examples, and saves you time. As you read, you will see that the guiding practices provided, the recommended steps and actions, and the myriad of tools and guides are the result of years of roll-up-your-sleeves experience. She takes scores of real mentor scenarios, including her own, and distills what is most important to understand (your own motivation, how self-awareness develops) and what is important to do (leverage experience for development, elevate the power of questions), and makes them most practical for you to apply.

There is so much for the mentee and mentor to consider. Creating a strong foundation leads to a rich and meaningful experience for both of you. So, spend the time to get to know each other, collaboratively set mentee goals for this experience, craft a reliable game plan, and discuss how the two of you will address challenges in your mentoring process. Then, support your mentee to take risks in trying out new mindsets and behaviors, explore bigger perspectives, and “go internal” to understand more about themselves. Create the important habit of reflection and debriefing. One of my mantras is: an assignment not debriefed is not worth doing. Pausing for insights, especially when your mentee feels safe enough to talk about what is on their mind, can create new approaches to problems they face, and increase determination. Their effort to grow will require them to break old habits, bust through obstacles, and boldly take new actions. You will be there to optimistically support them on their changes, as well as keep your eye on progress.

Ask questions, lots of them. And remember that not all questions are created equal. Be both thoughtful and courageous. Know how to ask, how to listen, and if you’d like guidance on what specific questions to ask—take a look at any chapter. Find sample questions for conversations on specific topics such as expanding the methods for your mentee’s development or widening your mentee’s network of advocates. You will increase your expertise in a process that involves far less telling, problem fixing and opinion sharing, and more about stretching and enabling (similar to what is used by the most seasoned certified coaches). You will offer your mentee resources and tools, and let them go at it. Throughout, Wendy will be your personal guide. Combined with your wisdom and generosity, all of this leads to greater confidence, awareness, and career growth for your mentee.

The growth in the mentoring process goes both ways. As a mentor, this journey is for you, and can be as developmental as it is enjoyable. What would happen if you set your own goals for this mentoring process? You would deepen your mentoring and coaching skills, make discoveries from your mentee’s perceptive, and learn more about yourself. Push beyond your comfort zone, and take on inevitable challenges you will face in the process. Throughout the process, continue to look at yourself and use the questions for reflection found throughout the book. And, you need not feel you are alone in the process. Consider leading or participating in a mentor peer group that meets regularly to support each other’s mentoring experience.

Adopt the seven guiding principles of successful mentors that wind their way through all the steps. Consider, for example, how you will continuously “create a conversational safety space” and “cultivate a positive and resilient relationship”. These guiding principles, and all the advice provided in the book, heighten your presence as a corporate citizen. They inform you not only about being a great mentor, but also about being a great leader who is authentic and hungry. You will see yourself differently and others will too, leading to your own career enhancement, one of the many benefits of being a masterful mentor.

10 Steps to Successful Mentoring distinguishes itself with the depth and breadth of guidance provided to new and seasoned mentors in the most accessible way. There can no longer be the statement “I would love to mentor, but I don’t have the time.” This book lays it out for you. We are in critical need of this book right now, it is destined to become a classic, and I am most grateful to Wendy for writing it.

Bev Kaye

Author, Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em and Help Them Grow or Watch Them Grow

Recipient of ATD’s Lifetime Achievement Award

February 2019