Every day, you interact with people who have different opinions, beliefs, feelings and needs from you. Your ability to exchange ideas and opinions with other people, understand their point of view and solve problems between you will depend on how effectively you are able to communicate.

Effective communication is important in all areas of your life: at work, at home, with friends and family and with total strangers. Good communication skills make you interesting! They can help you connect with people, build friendships and develop relationships at work and at home.

Being able to communicate more effectively with family and friends means that you will know what to say to get others to open up to you; you will be able to understand their feelings and emotions, what they mean and what they need. In turn, you are more likely to be listened to and understood.

In a range of situations, effective communication enables you to build a rapport easily with new people and feel confident about communicating with a wide range of people.

Being able to communicate more effectively at work and in professional settings gets you ahead. If you are an effective communicator, you will appear more organised and knowledgeable and increase your chances of getting where you want to in your work and career. An effective communicator can easily explain useful and interesting ideas and meet other people’s responses – whatever they are.

Others will take you seriously. They will listen to you and engage in discussion.

At work, ineffective communication serves as an obstacle to getting things done; ineffective talking leads to ineffective action! But good communication skills can minimise misunderstandings and confusion: they can save time by enabling you to get relevant information easily and quickly.

Finally, having good communication skills will increase confidence and trust between colleagues at all levels, and you will enjoy better working relationships.

Convinced? Now you just need to know how to get those all-important skills.

This book is divided into two parts. In Part 1 you will learn what those skills are and how to develop them; skills such as active listening, assertive speaking and clear, concise writing. Part 2 discusses specific situations and shows how those communication skills work in practice.

Chapter 1 starts by describing what communication is and what makes for brilliant communication skills. Knowing how to improve your communication skills will be easier once you are aware of your own communication style; how you express yourself and how others understand you. The quizzes in this chapter will help you to identify your communication approaches, attitudes and strengths. You’ll also learn how and why a range of differences between you and other people can create barriers to communication.

But whether you’re trying to tell someone you don’t understand what they’re talking about or strike up a conversation at the bus stop, there are two qualities that you need: confidence and empathy. There are ideas and tips in Chapter 2 to help you develop both.

You will discover that no matter what levels of empathy and confidence you currently have, the best place to develop your communication skills is from a position of strength.

However, even the most confident communicator can have their communication skills undermined. When, for example, expectations and emotions get in the way, strengths, confidence and empathy can disappear and you can find yourself falling back on inappropriate and unhelpful behaviour.

This chapter emphasises the importance of using your emotional intelligence; letting your emotions inform what you say, not take over what you say!

In Chapter 3 the focus is on active listening. Active listening is possibly the most important communication skill that you could learn; it’s the quickest route to developing rapport, empathy and understanding. You will learn how to be an active listener in this chapter and you will see that active listening has many benefits including, for example, helping you to ask the right questions; to encourage the other person to open up and say more.

Although active listening is a crucial skill in developing brilliant communication skills, the ability to ‘read between the lines’ will give you a further advantage.

Certainly, as you will see, claims that communication is 93% non-verbal and only 7% verbal are inaccurate. But, what is beyond question is that non-verbal behaviour is a powerful communicator.

In Chapter 4 you will learn some of the many ways in which we all communicate non-verbally, so that you can use and understand these signs and signals to communicate more effectively. You will discover that the meanings of non-verbal communication differ from one person to the next, and there are many cultural differences, too. This chapter also stresses the fact that it’s not always possible to interpret a single gesture or signal in isolation; you need to look for ‘clusters’.

However and whatever you want to say, there’s one key principle: you have to communicate in a way that makes it easy for other people to listen and to understand what you mean. Chapter 5 explains how to communicate purposefully; what to say, how to say it and when to say it.

Of course, when you communicate in person or on the phone, if there are any misunderstandings you can clarify what you mean immediately. When you communicate in writing, this doesn’t happen, so what you say in writing must express exactly what you mean – there is nothing else to support or clarify your intentions, feelings, requests, information and ideas.

At work and in business, well-written letters, emails, reports and other communications help to create a good impression and can prove valuable in increasing business. How do you communicate effectively in writing? The same as you do when speaking: clearly and concisely, with confidence and empathy. Chapter 6 explains how.

Throughout Part 1, tips and techniques, practical pointers and examples are included to help you communicate easily and effectively in any situation. However, communication is rarely straightforward. Often, it’s dependent on context; the circumstances and situation in which communication is happening. Part 2 looks at some specific situations, such as how and what to say when you are giving advice or making small talk. It highlights the importance of good non-verbal communication during an interview or when giving a presentation. There’s also advice to ensure that your emails are clear, concise and polite – even if your response is angry!

In fact, when things are going badly, communication can be as hard as wading through wet concrete. Part 2 shows you how to communicate in difficult situations. Scenarios that include handling criticism and bad news are potentially difficult for everyone concerned. But they can be handled with confidence and sensitivity; the last scenario in the book is a good example: how to get someone to shut up. Nicely!

And that is pretty much the theme for the whole book – not just brilliant communication, but positive communication.