Control your mental response to stress 121
Choose the people you associate with
The last way to boost your optimism is to choose the people you
associate with. If you habitually spend time with pessimists, you
won’t be able to help it: some of their attitudes will rub off. On
the other hand, select optimistic colleagues, friends and contacts
to spend more time with, and you will nd it much easier to
share their optimistic outlook.
This does not mean you have to abandon valued friends just
because of their attitudes. What it does suggest is that, if you hear
me moaning about how bad it is and that it will be bound to get
worse, you will be better off nding an excuse to move on from
the conversation: ‘I’d like to think you’re wrong and that we can nd
ways to thrive as things change around us. Let’s agree to differ and
talk about something else.’
Determination, flexibility and persistence
We talked about the value of setting goals in Chapter 4. Resilient
people are those who know their goals, understand their value,
and take determined steps to achieve them. They also know how
to cope with setbacks.
Determination
Determination is about having a measure of single-mindedness,
without being blinkered to other opportunities or events. The
behaviours that characterise it are planning and prioritisation,
setting aside time and resources to pursue your goals, reviewing
progress, and incorporating the lessons you learn along the way.
If you are determined, you will see obstacles as challenges to
overcome, and setbacks as temporary.
Flexibility
If two people experience the same setback, and they want the
same thing, then the one who is more exible in their thinking
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