Manage stress caused by conflict 177
Step 6: Explore options and possible solutions
The two things to discover are:
What is available to you both?
What is missing?
Think of each of these in terms of resources, possibilities and
processes. These will help you to identify your options.
Be creative and generate as many options as you can, by being
exible and taking ideas from all available sources. Be generous
in crediting the other person with ideas. This will build trust and
strengthen their commitment to the idea. Resolving the conict
should be more important to you than taking credit for how it
happens.
In the SCOPE process, this step corresponds to Options.
Step 7: Offer a resolution
The last step is to agree on the best solution and then work
together to plan your next actions. This stage will often
include requests of – and promises to – each other, and these
can solidify your sense of agreement and collaboration. It is
always nice to mark the agreement in some way: maybe not
formally, but informally, with either a statement that you have
resolved the conict and reached agreement, or perhaps a
handshake.
In the SCOPE process, this step corresponds to Proceed.
Mediation and arbitration
When a conict or dispute is too difcult for the disputants to
resolve alone, two options for help are mediation and arbitration.
Mediation: an impartial person helps two or more people reach a
solution that is acceptable to everyone.
178 brilliant stress management
Arbitration: an impartial person is asked to make a decision on a
dispute.
In the UK, ACAS (Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration
Service) is a non-departmental body, funded by government to
‘improve organisations and working life through better employment
relations’. They provide services to business and their website,
www.acas.org.uk, offers a wealth of valuable information.
There are also professional mediators and arbitrators who spe-
cialise in the whole range of personal and commercial issues.
Mediation
Workplace disputes can poison the atmosphere, leaving every one
miserable – not just the protagonists. You will want to resolve
the situation as quickly as possible: before the words ‘tri-
bunal’ or ‘solicitor’ are uttered, and
here mediation can help. A mediator
can often broker a resolution that
both parties will agree to. For small
disputes, some common sense and
patience can help people nd suf-
cient common ground to bury the
hatchet. If you choose to help, then here is a basic process.
Different mediators and different contexts mean that there is a
range of variations on this theme.
A mediation process
Let’s introduce the two people in conict as Person A, the
person who has declared the grievance, and Person B.
Step 1: Meet the rst person (usually A) and listen carefully to
their point of view and then conrm with A that they are pre-
pared to meet B.
Step 2: Now meet B. Sometimes, this meeting starts with
an agreement to pursue mediation; at other times, that
a mediator can often
broker a resolution that
both parties will agree
to
Manage stress caused by conflict 179
agreement will already have been given. Listen carefully to
their point of view, and then conrm with B that they are
prepared to meet A.
Assuming both people have agreed to meet, you will need to
reect on what the fundamental issues are, before. . .
Step 3: Meet A to share information and plan a three-way meeting.
Step 4: Meet B to share information and plan a three-way meeting.
Step 5: Facilitate a meeting between A and B, at which they
each listen to the other as they express their point of view.
Ensure that all issues are shared and that each is listened to with
care. Now help A and B explore their issues, and start to create
an agreement.
Step 6: When A and B reach an agreement, you may not like
it, but document it and ask A and B for formal conrmation
with signatures or handshakes. You may even choose to formally
witness it.
Step 7: In many cases, you will agree a follow-up role, to
monitor how the agreement is working.
brilliant
tip
Mediation
Make sure you’re invited
You can only mediate when both parties trust you and want
your help. You are not a judge and have no power to impose
help, much less a solution.
Prepare scrupulously
Understand the issue from all perspectives before planning the
process and getting disputants together.
180 brilliant stress management
Create a safe environment and the time you all need
Disputes often persist because they are ‘public property’. A
confidential environment can help people express themselves
honestly, and listen carefully.
Allow everyone to be heard
Your role is to create a process that ensures all are treated
fairly. Let everyone be heard.
Find common ground
Listen, clarify and highlight areas of shared commitment. Help
them narrow the area of disagreement.
Remain neutral
Once you hear the first perspective, it is natural to sympathise
with that point of view. Who is ‘right’ is irrelevant here (and
probably a false concept).
Above all, do no harm
If you are in any doubt about your ability to help, or the risk is
too high, seek expert help.
Arbitration
It is unlikely that you will act as an arbitrator among colleagues
you know, because they may not fully trust your impartiality.
You may, however, arbitrate on a conict in an area of your
organisation about which you can be – and be seen by all to be
– wholly impartial. If this is the case, then the process is similar
to mediation, but you will make the nal decision and may have
the authority to impose it.
You will therefore need to be alert to any inadvertent biases that
the process or the personalities of the protagonists can throw up.
Below is a list of brilliant do’s and don’ts.
Manage stress caused by conflict 181
ACAS or other impartial organisations have trained personnel
who can apply a transparent process and come up with a fair
outcome, and using them can offer the only resolution to
long-running conicts, where cooperation is impossible and
mediation has failed.
brilliant
do’s and don’ts
Arbitration
Do
Recognise that there will be merit on both sides or the issue
would not need arbitration.
Give the disputants a chance to rant if they want to.
Put aside any temptation to help one party get even with the
other.
Separate facts from opinions.
Ask more questions if you need to.
Document everything.
Maintain confidentiality.
Test out your reasoning before giving your opinion.
Don’t
Assume that a poorly presented case is a poor case.
Allow yourself to accept the first perspective you hear uncritically.
Appear to take sides until you are ready with a considered opinion.
Let the strength of emotions weight your considerations.
brilliant
recap
Look for the warning signs of escalating conflict, so you can
defuse it early.
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