INDEX

“accept the offer” technique, 139

Accidents, 89, 99–100, 105

Acquaintances, 89–90, 99–100, 104, 105

Actives, 91, 96, 100–102, 105, 106

advice, asking for, 121

Advocates, 91–92, 96, 102–103, 105, 107

Agenda

for ChoicePoints, 38–39

at conferences, 191

for conversations, 33–38

in ending conversations, 124

for introverts, 146

when doing business with friends, 120

Allies, 92–93, 96, 103–107

All-or-Nothing Rule, 51

All-or-Nothing Test, 56–57

alumni groups, 46

Amabile, Teresa, on seeking and giving help, 13

American Express, 33

Anthony, Mitch, 130

appreciation, showing, 136–137

ASK formula, 144–145

Associates, 90–91, 96, 100, 105–107

attitudes toward networking, 11–12, 209–213

awkward moments, avoiding, 119–122

The Axis of Influence (Michael Lovas and Pam Holloway), 129, 130

Babauta, Leo, on idea generation, 184

Beer, Michael, 205–206

beliefs

about networking, 11–16

about yourself and others, 23–24

for networker identity, 183–185

see also mindset management

Best/Test, 160–170

being interesting in, 162–164

crafting your, 164–165

facts and inferences in, 162

Frequently Asked Questions about, 165–169

language in, 161–162, 165

Big Picture, ix–x, 182

Blob, 159–161, 163

body language, 24–25

Bolden, Charles, 40

Boswell, Edwin, 206

Bottom-Line Test, 57–58

bragging, 166–167

The Brain, 78

BringBack, 189–192, 220–221

Brown, Juanita, 219

Brown, Tim, on needing help, 151

Burris, Andy, on business literacy, 220

Burt, Ron, 185, 204

business development, 13

business literacy, 220

business referral groups, 44–45

buy-in, eliciting, 226

career, creating your, 32–33

Casciaro, Tiziana, 128, 129

Casserly, Meghan, 195

Cement, 158–160, 163

“CEOs Say Investing in Innovation Is Not Paying Off” (Bernhard Warner), 206

Chambers of Commerce, 46

change, 180

Character, 84–85

definition of, 85

listening for evidence of, 146

in online trust-building, 197–200

teaching contacts about your, 85–87

The Cheerleader, 79

ChoicePoints, 38–42, 216

Cialdini, Robert, 132

Cisco, 33

Citibank, 33

civic organizations, 46

Clarke, Kristin, on intelligence gathering, 221

clichés, 138

Coach, changing Critic to, 22

coaching club, 200–201

Cole, Alan, on knowing and liking people, 42

collaboration

answering questions about, 222–225

fostering, 221–229

interpersonal skills of, 1–8

for new value creation, 181–183

as outcome of networking, 205

collaborative culture, 27–33

networking in, 27–33

reinforcing, 19, 194–196

see also Network-Oriented Workplace

Committed employees, 211, 212

Committed organizations, 210–211

communicating expertise, 8, 157–178

with Best/Test, 160–170

through storytelling, 170–178

when answering “What do you do?”, 158–165

communication technologies, 2

Competence, 84–85

definition of, 85

listening for evidence of, 146

in online trust-building, 197–200

teaching contacts about your, 87–88

“Competent Jerks, Lovable Fools, and the Formation of Social Networks” (Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo), 128

competitiveness, 208–209, 223

Concentration, 126

conferences, see networking events

connections

at ChoicePoints, 38–42

creating, 213–217

helping others make, 122–123

Conversation Quiz, 143–145

conversation(s)

accepting cues in, 139

Agenda for, 33–38

avoiding awkward moments in, 119–122

at ChoicePoints, 38–42

deepening, see deepening interactions

ending, 123–128

in Network-Oriented Workplace, 217–221

“Cracking the Code of Change” (Michael Beer and Nitin Nohria), 205–206

The Creative, 79

creativity, 40, see also new value creation

Creativity, Inc. (Jeff Mauzy and Richard Harriman), 207

Critic, inner, 22–23

The Critic, in your KeyNet, 79

“Critical Connections” (Rob Cross and Andrew Hargadon), 12

Cross, Rob, 204

on core networks, 75

on difficulty in networking, 12

Cuddy, Amy, 24–25

curiosity, 141–143

customer common groups, 44

Davis, Jocelyn, 206

“Declaration of Interdependence” (Center for Creative Leadership), 193

deepening interactions, 7–8, 133–156

by asking questions, 141–143

Conversation Quiz for, 143–145

with dialogues that build/sustain relationships, 135–140

by giving, 148–152

by listening, 145–148

with people above you on organization chart, 140–141

and reasons people don’t talk, 134–135

by reconnecting, 152–156

Dell, Michael, on being the smartest person, 202

Deloitte, 33

differences, looking for, 137

Discouraging organizations, 209

discretionary effort, 226

diversifying contacts, 185–188

Don’t Shoot the Dog (Karen Pryor), 201

Doorway Test, 56

dormant relationships, see reconnecting

Economist Intelligence Unit, 205

The 8 Competencies, xii–xiii, 2–3, 5–8, 16, 204, see also individual competencies

electronic networking, 4

electronics, during face-to-face conversations, 122

emotion, in asking questions, 144

empty box story, 206–207

Enchantment (Guy Kawasaki), 129

Encouraging organizations, 210

ending conversations, 123–128

energizing yourself, 24–25

energy, engaging with, 138

engagement, 138, 207–208, 224–225

“Engineering Serendipity” (New York Times), 40

enterprise-wide initiatives, contributing to, 29–32

enthusiasm, 138

expectations, raising, 140

expertise, 78–80, 146, see also communicating expertise

face-to-face networking, 4–5, 14–15, 211

facial expressions, 138

The Fifth Discipline (Peter Senge), 219

Fisher, Colin M., on seeking and giving help, 13

5-S story formula (storytelling), 172–174, 198–199

Five-Year Test, 58–59

Flag, 159, 160, 163

Fog, 159–161, 163

Follow-Through, 152–156

forgotten names, 113–114

Forrest Gump, 111

Four Net(s), 62–73

developing, 73–75

LifeNet as, 69–75

OrgNet as, 64–67, 71–74

ProNet as, 67–69, 71–74

thinking in terms of, 62–63

WorkNet as, 63–64, 71–74

see also individual Nets

Frechette, Henry, 206

friends, 106

fun, 137

Gandhi, Mahatma, on change, 194

Get list, 34, 35, 37–38

Give and Take (Adam Grant), 151

Give list, 34–38, 149

Givers, 151

giving

as Agenda item, 35–37

deepening interactions by, 148–152

introductions as form of, 188

listening for clues for, 146–147

in Network-Oriented Workplace, 13

to online contacts, 198

reframing networking as, 18

research on, 151–152

“The Giving Habits of Americans” (Adam Grant), 188

The Global Citizen, 79

goals, 13, 54–60, 153–154, 172

Google, 215–216

Grant, Adam, 204

on giving, 151

on introductions, 188

groups, 43–51

to avoid joining, 118

comfortably joining, 116–118

developing relationships within, 50–51

evaluating, 48–50

maximizing existing memberships in, 51–54, see also social acumen

types of, 44–47

Groysberg, Boris, on organizational power, 218

The Guru, 79

Hargadon, Andrew, on difficulty in networking, 12

Harriman, Richard, on innovation, 207

The Heart, 80

help, asking for, 13, 201

Hewlett, Sylvia Ann, 33

Hewson, Marilyn A., 128–129

Holloway, Pam, on likeability, 129, 130

Hseih, Tony, 216

The Human Side of Enterprise (Douglas McGregor), 229

humor, 137, 199

iceberg statements, 139

ideal network, 6, 61–82

developing Nets for an, 73–75

Four Nets in, 62–73

KeyNet in, 75–82

IDEO, 151–152, 202

“IDEO’s Culture of Helping” (Amabile, Fisher, and Pillemar), 13, 151, 216–217

Immerwahr, John, 226

industry, defining what you do in terms of, 159

industry-specific organizations, 45–46

Infectious (Achim Nowak), 140

The Influencer, 79

inner critic, 22–23

innovation, 206–207, 224

“Intelligence by Design” (Kristin Clarke), 221

interactions, deepening, see deepening interactions

international names, 114–116

interpersonal skills of collaboration, 1–8, see also individual skills

introverts, 14, 145–146

Isaacs, David, 219

Isaacson, Walter, 215

Job + N(etworking), 26–33

Jobs, Steve, on idea development, 215

joining groups, 116–118

Kawasaki, Guy, on likeability, 129, 132

KeyNet, 75–82, 214–215

choosing collaborators for, 78–80

examples of, 80–82

in progress monitoring, 227

selecting, 76–78

kicking ideas around, 144

Koch, Jim, on “string theory,” 195

language

in Best/Test, 161–162, 165

mindset and, 20–22

in online communications, 197

secret, 121

“they,” 184

laughter, 137

Lessons on Leadership (Jack Stahl), 217–218

Levin, Daniel, 93–94

LifeNet, 69–75, 185

likeability, 128–132

The Likeability Factor (Tim Sanders), 129

listening, 145–148, 199

Lobo, Miguel Sousa, 128, 129

Lovas, Michael, 129

“Managing Yourself” (Rob Cross and Robert Thomas), 75

Matchers, 151

Mauzy, Jeff, on innovation, 207

McGregor, Douglas, on collaboration, 229

mentoring, 200–202

mindset management, 11, 19–25

and beliefs about yourself and others, 23–24

and energizing yourself, 24–25

role models for, 25

and your inner critic, 22–23

and your language, 20–22

see also beliefs

Murnighan, Keith, 93–94

Name Exchanges, 109–116

name(s)

forgotten, 113–114

international, 114–116

learning others’, 110–111

teaching your, 111–113

Naus, Father John, on fun, 137

Network-Actualized, 213

Network-Aligning, 212

Network-Aspiring, 212

Network-Averse, 212

networker identity, 5–6, 10–25

activating your, 17–19

analyzing your attitude toward, 11–12

and definition of networking, 15–16

and mindset management, 19–25

and misconceptions about networking, 12–15

organizational, 209–213, see also Network-Oriented Workplace

as a strategic networker, 16–17

networking, 15–16

benefits of, 5

collaboration as outcome of, 205

competencies for, 5–8

electronic vs. face-to-face, 4–5

misconceptions about, 12–15

reframing, 183–187

workplace role of, 149

see also specific topics

networking events

BringBack from, 189–192

goals when attending, 13

return on investment in, 188–189

teaming up at, 201–202

networking organizations, 45, see also groups

Network-Oriented Workplace, ix–xiii, 3, 203–229

creating connections in, 213–217

fostering collaboration in, 221–229

interpersonal skills of collaboration in, 1–8, see also individual skills

need for, 205–209

and organizational networker identity, 209–213

sparking conversation in, 217–221

network performance behaviors, 2–3

networks, building, 3

Newton, Isaac, on tact, 199

new value creation, 8, 179–202

by building trust online, 196–200

collaboration for, 181–183

principles for, 183–196

reaching out for, 188–193

reframing networking for, 183–187

reinforcing collaborative culture for, 194–196

through mentoring and modeling, 200–202

Nohria, Nitin, 206

Nooyi, Indra, 192

“No,” saying, 138

noticing others, 139

The Novice, 80

Nowak, Achim, on playing it safe, 140

occupation, defining what you do in terms of, 158

offers, accepting, 139

Onken, Nick, on growing, 188

online trust-building, 196–200

opinions, seeking, 144

opportunities, exploring, 10

organization, defining what you do in terms of, 159

OrgNet, 64–67, 71–74, 185

eliminating redundancies in, 195

evaluating strength of, 193–194

reaching out through, 188

Parise, Salvatore, on difficulty in networking, 12

Pentland, Alex, 92, 204

Pig-in-Mud Test, 59–60

Pillemar, Julianna, on seeking and giving help, 13

Pixar Animation Studios, 184

Popcorn, Faith, 28

“The Power of Reconnection” (Levin, Walter, and Murnighan), 93–94

power poses, 24

productivity, 40

professional associations, 45

progress monitoring, 227–229

The Promoter, 79

ProNet, 67–69, 71–74, 185

Pryor, Karen, 201

Putting the Work Ethic to Work (Daniel Yankelovich and John Immerwahr), 226

questions

about collaboration, 222–225

about what you do, 158–165

as Best/Test variation, 164–165

deepening interactions through, 141–143

“quiet careers,” 12, 209

Radcliffe, David, on innovation, 215–216

Rate Your Relationships quiz, 95–96

ReachBack strategies, 154–156

reaching out

to develop network identity, 19

for new value creation, 188–193

Reciprocity Principle, 35–36

reconnecting, 93–94, 152–156

Rees, Jackie, 215

reframing networking, 18

relationships

assessing quality of, 77

dialogues that build/sustain, 135–140

dormant, 93–94

enriching, 77

within networking groups, 50–51

prioritizing, 76

repairing, 77

starting/revving up, 77–78

trusting, see trusting relationships

religious organizations, 46–47

return on investment (ROI), 188–189

“ride-alongs,” 201

“The Rise of the Network Leader,” 2, 180

risk

in reaching out, 19

in trusting relationships, 97–105, 204

Rogers, Will, on bragging, 166

ROI (return on investment), 188–189

role models, 25, 200–202

Rozwell, Carol, on social business efforts, 197

Sanders, Tim, 129

The Sarge, 79

saying “no,” 138

Schweitzer, Albert, on example, 202

Selling with Emotional Intelligence (Mitch Anthony), 130

Senge, Peter, on World Café conversations, 219

service organizations, 46

Sinek, Simon, 222

skills

of KeyNet collaborators, 78–80

listening for information about, 146

for strategic connections, 1–8

Slind, Michael, on organizational power, 218

social acumen, 7, 108–132

and avoiding awkward moments, 119–122

and dealing with forgotten names, 113–114

and ending conversations, 123–128

and international names, 114–116

and joining groups comfortably, 116–118

and the likeability link, 128–132

and Name Exchanges, 109–116

social networking, online, 196–200

Social Physics (Alex Pentland), 92

Sociometric Solutions, 4

special purpose networks, 44

The Sponsor, 79

sponsors, 33

SPPs (Strategic Positioning Projects), 55–60

Stages of Trust, 84, 88–93

analyzing, 94–96

descriptions of, 89–93

giving that reflects, 150

response time in, 96–97

risk and value steps at, 97–105, 204

Stahl, Jack, on good leadership, 217–218

stakeholders, bringing together, 213–214

Start with the Why (Simon Sinek), 222

Steve Jobs (Walter Isaacson), 215

Stevens, Robert J., on Marilyn Hewson, 128–129

storytelling, 157–158

communicating expertise through, 170–178

finding stories for, 171–172

5-S story formula for, 172–174

Frequently Asked Questions about, 176–178

in Network-Oriented Workplace, 219–220

online, 198–199

S*U*C*C*E*S*S tips for, 174–175

strategic approach to networking, 6, 26–60

Agenda in, 33–38

ChoicePoint connections in, 38–42

choosing groups in, 43–51

in the collaborative culture, 27–33

goals in, 54–60

through existing group memberships, 51–54

strategic networkers, 16–17, see also networker identity

Strategic Positioning Projects (SPPs), 55–60

Strategic Speed (Davis, Frechette, and Boswell), 206

strategy execution, 205–206, 223–224

S*U*C*C*E*S*S tips (storytelling), 174–175

tact, 199

Takers, 151

talent, see expertise; skills

Talk, Inc. (Boris Groysberg and Michael Slind), 218, 220

talking

to build and sustain relationships, 135–140

with people above you on organization chart, 140–141

reasons people avoid, 134–135

“with” and not “at,” 217–218

see also conversation(s)

Tamkins, Melinda, on likeability, 130

teaching

reframing networking as, 18

in trusting relationships, 84–88

your name, 111–113

teamwork, collaboration vs., 181

technologies, for connecting, 4

“they” language, 184

Thomas, Robert, on core networks, 75

Tired Network Syndrome, 107

title

defining what you do in terms of, 159

and working across boundaries, 183–184

Toffler, Alvin, on thinking about big things, 60

trade associations, 45

training, 211

trust

among collaborators, 181, 183

analyzing level of, 94–97

developing, 84–88

as learned skill, 203

online, 196–200

Stages of, 84, 88–93

trusting relationships, 7, 83–107

and analysis of current relationships, 94–97

Frequently Asked Questions about, 105–107

and renewal of dormant ties, 93–94

risk and value involved in, 97–105

six Stages of Trust in, 88–93

teaching people to trust you for, 84–88

Unwilling employees, 211

value

creating, see new value creation

in trusting relationships, 97–105, 204

visibility, 67, 139

volunteer groups, 46

Waber, Ben, 204

on creativity and productivity, 40

on networking, 4

Walter, Jorge, 93–94

Warner, Bernhard, 206

Welch, Jack, on energized employees, 207

“What do you do?”, 158–165

Willing employees, 211–212

The Wise Elder, 80

The Wizard, 79

women’s leadership, 133

WorkNet, 63–64, 71–74, 185, 196

World Café, 219

Yahoo, 215

Yankelovich, Daniel, 226

Zappos, 216