Bonus Section
Managing Up

Creativity takes courage.

—Henri Matisse

Management is rarely a one-way street. In fact, much of your time as a manager will be spent “managing” your superiors. You’ll need to learn how to leverage responses and behavior—whether subtly or overtly—from your higher-ups. Caution: this is not for the meek. This kind of managing takes practice, creativity, and, sometimes, courage. It’s not for the novice. All of us can feel powerless at times when it comes to interacting with those who sign our paychecks. If you’ve ever felt this way, this section is definitely for you!

How to Say No to a Superior

Gentle to Blunt

• I can see it’s important to you; can I try tackling it later, once I’m free?

• I wish you had asked me earlier, before these other tasks were dumped on my desk!

• Right now I’m working on that other project you gave priority to. Should I stop doing that?

• Well, right now I’m doing X; which of these tasks is more important to you?

• I want to say yes so badly, but right now I’m completely committed to this other project.

• Not right now, but I’d be more than happy to do it at a later date.

• I wish I could say yes, but unfortunately I can’t.

• That doesn’t sound like something I’ll be able to do, unfortunately.

• I can’t do that, but I would be willing to do X instead.

• I won’t be able to do that for you, sorry.

• Sorry, no can do.

• You can’t be serious.

• No.

• No way, José!

• Fire me if you want to, but I’m not doing that.

How to Ask for a Raise

Subtle

• Have you noticed how well my department is doing lately?

• I really want to know if you are happy with my performance here.

• How do you feel I’ve been doing, given all of our recent success?

• Please let me tell all the great things I’ve been accomplishing lately!

• I’d like to revisit my pay scale at some point this week, if that’s okay with you.

• Ultimately it’s your decision, and I don’t want to pressure you, but a raise would mean a lot to me.

• Do you think that I might deserve a raise, given all my accomplishments this past year?

• I believe have demonstrated all the qualities of a manager who deserves a raise. What do you think?

• I know you appreciate me, but I’d like to see that backed up with something more concrete.

• I’d like more responsibility as well as an increase in pay to go with it.

• Why do I deserve a raise? Here’s a list of 10 reasons why.

• My pay should be commensurate with my performance; wouldn’t you agree?

• My record here is stellar. Don’t you think I deserve a little something for all I’ve done?

• Why am I not making as much as others who aren’t performing as well as I am?

• It’s okay if you won’t give me a raise. There are other options out there if it comes to it.

Direct

• Look, I’m either worth it or I’m not. Which is it?

• I know how valuable I am, even if this company doesn’t.

• It’s not about the money; it’s about what’s fair.

How to Run Interference for Your Team

Noncommittal

• Look, I know they’re fumbling, but give them a chance.

• Obviously they have a long way to go, but I have hope.

• Please be patient while I work out the glitches they’ve been having.

• What about my team upsets you so much? Maybe I can help mediate the situation.

• I wish they were doing better, too. I blame myself.

• Yes, but the jury is still out on the results. Give them more time.

• They are doing the best they can with the resources they’ve been given.

• I know it looks bleak right now, but hang in there a bit longer; I know they can do it.

• You don’t know them like I do; I believe their best is yet to come.

• I can assure you my team will outperform all the others, come crunch time.

• I consider myself their advocate when it comes to upper management; so, what’s your gripe?

• Nobody gets to my team unless they go through me first.

• I would bet my life on this team. You just don’t have enough faith yet.

Vociferous

• I will never let anyone degrade my team, especially not to their faces—or mine.

• Since they are my responsibility, you’ll need to talk to me about what’s bothering you.

• If you want to deal with my team you’ll have to deal with me.

• My team and I are as thick as thieves; no higher-up is going to get in the middle of that.

• I will defend my team with everything in my power until I am no longer with this company.

How to Discuss Your Team’s Mistake

Conscientious

• All I can say is mea culpa.

• As their manager I take full responsibility for the mistake; it will never happen again.

• They were just following my orders, so the blame rests squarely on me.

• The fish rots from the head down, so I am the culprit here.

• Whatever happened was my fault, so please talk to me about it.

• I take responsibility for my group’s error. More than that I cannot do.

• They were just the messengers; don’t blame them!

• They are partly to blame, but only in that they didn’t execute my orders perfectly.

• At the end of the day we were all responsible for what went wrong.

Blaming

• I am so sorry for the way my team performed. I just don’t know what happened.

• There is nothing at all I can do except say I’m sorry.

• I try my damnedest to bring out the best in them and this is what happens!

• My team made a horrendous error. I hope we can all accept that and move on.

• When I look back on what my people did, it won’t be the highlight of my career.

• I thought they had it all together, but they totally blew it.

• I did the best I could; I can’t help it if they are useless.

• Hey, it’s not my fault they screwed up.

How to Deal With a Bully Boss

Conciliatory

• Because I admire you so much, I wish things between us were more civil.

• I respect you enormously, but I wish we could speak to one another more civilly.

• Speaking for myself, I’d prefer a more collaborative spirit in our interactions.

• You will catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar. [joking]

• You have so many strengths, but sometimes I wish you’d tone down your approach.

• Your communication style is a bit—how shall I say this?—harsh at times.

• If you don’t respect me, there is no way I’ll be able to accord that same respect to you.

Confrontational

• Do you really feel that berating people is the way to get more out of them?

• You need to get a grip on your temper. It’s not doing you any good at all.

• There is no reason at all to treat people the way you do. It’s deplorable.

• I had no idea you were so difficult; if I had, I would have never chosen to work with you.

• It’s because of you I can’t sleep or have a normal life.

• Did someone above you mistreat you this way when you were climbing the corporate ladder?

• If you can’t change the way you speak to me, I’ll have to move on.

How to Request a Project

Subtle

• It’s probably not possible for me to request that assignment, is it?

• Hmm, that new project looks pretty cool; did you have anyone specific in mind?

• If I got a chance to work on this, I’d be so excited!

• I’d love to sit down with you at some point and hash out our plans for my next project.

• I believe that new project would suit my abilities pretty well. What do you think?

• I think I’d be a good fit for that new assignment. Would you be comfortable with my requesting it?

Declarative

• I realize that my assignments are largely out of my control, but can we discuss some possibilities?

• With your concurrence, of course, I’d love to show you what I can do with this project.

• That new assignment has me salivating. Any chance you would be willing to put in my name for it?

• Is there any way I could put in my name for this project? I’m really interested!

• I know you value initiative, which is why I’m officially putting my name in for that new project.

• I am dying for a shot at that new project; don’t make me beg!

How to Introduce a New Idea

Subtle

• I’m not really an idea person, but would you care to hear this crazy notion I had anyway?

• Obviously your ideas are much closer to the mark, but what would we think of X?

• If you are interested in hearing what I think, please let me know.

• I’d like to give you my take on this, but I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.

• This may be crazy, but what would you think of X?

• I’m wondering if anyone ever considered doing X instead?

• What would you think of brainstorming some new ideas? I have one that may just be feasible.

Overt

• I have a new idea that I’d like to discuss with you. Are you available this week?

• Since I know you value innovation, I’d like to tell you about an idea I have.

• Okay, here’s an idea—but feel free to shoot it down, okay?

• I wish we could at least consider X as a possibility. What do you think?

• I had a flash of insight about this the other day. Curious?

• I have what I think is a pretty good idea; are you interested in hearing more?

• I can guarantee you’ll want to go with this idea; it’s that good!

When You Need a Lighter Workload

Subtle

• We need to share tasks more effectively here. Isn’t that what teamwork is all about?

• Is there a chance that someone else could take a task or two off my plate?

• Is there any way you can help me delegate some of these tasks to other people?

• I think I would be more effective if I delegated some of this work to my team members.

• I really thought I could handle all this work, but I think I bit off more than I could chew.

• I’m not saying I can’t do it all, only that I won’t be able to get it all done at once.

• I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately and I’d like to brainstorm some solutions with you.

Blunt

• My intent is to finish everything I started, but I can’t do that if I’m given more work.

• Everyone has their limit, and I think I may have already reached mine.

• I am only one person, you know.

• I believe I have reached a level of commitment beyond which I simply cannot go.

• My plate is overfull to the point of distraction. I’m going to need your help with this.

• Frankly, I’m feeling overwhelmed, and I’m wondering what can be done about it.

• I’m not too proud to admit that I have taken on more than I can handle.

• I feel like I’m drowning here, and I’m going down fast unless someone helps me out!

• If I don’t get some help with all this, I am going to burn out, and fast!

• I know I can count on you to back me up, here. I just can’t do any more!

How to Flatter a Superior

Subtle

• I’m trying not to be too intimidated, here. [joking]

• Spending some time among the minions/rabble/madding crowd, are we? [joking]

• Ah, it’s good to be the king. [joking]

• I’d really love to bend your ear at some point.

• I want to learn everything I can from you.

• I have a great deal to learn from you; I can see that.

Overt/Obvious

• Speaking frankly, your level of experience is bit daunting to me.

• If I could only choose one person to mentor with, it would be you.

• Have you ever written a book? You really should.

• There are very few people who are actually indispensible; you are one of them.

• I wish I were as knowledgeable/experienced/talented as you.

• There are people of mere words and people of action; clearly you are the latter.

• I’ve seen you around, but you are much more distinguished/intelligent/intimidating in person.

• You make it look so easy. How do you do it?

• Yes, I am flattering you, but in this case it’s warranted!

How to Disagree With a Superior

Conciliatory

• I’m wondering if we should look at this some other way.

• I don’t want to step on any toes, but I’m wondering if we should revisit this.

• Far be it for me to disagree with you, but what if considered this instead?

• Can I play devil’s advocate here for just a moment?

• If only for the sake of argument, let’s consider this alternative for a moment.

• While you definitely have a point, I’m not entirely sure that’s right.

Blunt

• Ordinarily I would agree with you, but not this time.

• I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one.

• I don’t agree, and here’s why.

• I think you’ll have to concede that I’m right this time.

• Your position just isn’t defensible.

• Just because you are saying it doesn’t mean it’s true.

• You are way off!

How to Ask for a Vacation

Circuitous

• Where did you go on your vacation again?

• I can’t even remember the last time I took a real vacation.

• Joe in accounting just said he needs a vacation; don’t we all! [joking]

• I bet you’re looking forward to your vacation. Speaking of which…

• Now that I’ve finished my projects, I’m wondering if this would be an opportune time for a break.

• Do you think I should take a vacation at some point? I’m feeling a little burned out.

• I’ll be much more productive once I get a chance to recharge my batteries.

• I want to run some dates by you so that I can schedule some much-needed down time.

Direct

• When would be a good time for me to take a vacation?

• I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to take some time off, do you?

• I’d like to take some time off, if that’s okay with you. Let me know what dates would work best.

• I’m taking these dates off; let me know if this poses a problem for you.

• It would really be a shame if I couldn’t take some time off, considering how much time you’ve taken.

When You Feel Overworked

Circuitous

• I guess this is what Red Bull was invented for, huh? [joking]

• Sometimes I feel like I sleep here, you know?

• I know work can get intense, but right now I don’t see an end in sight.

• I know I’m a mess; I’m just tapped out here, it seems.

• I simply can’t add another thing to my plate; I’m that burned out.

• I’m trying to muster more stamina, but at this point I don’t think I have it in me.

• You know I’d do anything for this company, but not at the risk to my own health.

• Remember the last time you felt overworked? Let me tell you, I’m about there myself.

Blunt

• I think we’ll all working way too hard, myself included.

• I am so overworked that I’m afraid I am no longer as productive as ought to be.

• I’m so worn out I find myself not even caring anymore, which really scares me.

• I think we need to revisit my workload; I feel like I’m buckling underneath the weight of it.

• I have just about reached the limit of what I can bear, here.

• I don’t mind working hard, but this is ridiculous!

• Nobody should have work under these sorts of conditions. It’s inhuman.