I clearly remember the first time that I was introduced to the concept of feedback; it was in an Electronics lesson, rather strangely. The class lecturer stood at the blackboard with a piece of chalk (as they did in the last century) and drew the following diagram:

He then made a rather bold claim about the meaning of feedback:

And in a beautifully simple way, he gave me a definition that has stayed with me for over 25 years.

I'd had report cards throughout my school life, but it wasn't really until I was about age 21 and at the start of my professional career that I had my first piece of performance feedback. You'll read about it later in Chapter 3, Addressing Specific Performance Issues, but it wasn't really very helpful. From there, I had mixed experiences with managers that I worked for; some spent time and effort in developing their staff and would discuss objectives clearly and take the time to give feedback in the best way that they could. Others were less precise and articulate.

So, when I was given my first management opportunity at age 30 back in 2000, I had a broad spectrum of experiences from which to draw on and formulate my feedback skills. My first few years as a manager were quite a rollercoaster; the manager who recruited me left the department one week after I was promoted, and I was left without any supervision for three months. I remember the Head of Department, Jeff, sitting me down in his office and asking me how I was getting on. I told him that it was tough, but I was enjoying it. He smiled a wry smile and looked away out of the window as he spoke; he told me that being a line manager was a draughty position—you sometimes get it in the neck from above and below!

In 2007, I resigned from my corporate position to work freelance as a management trainer and coach. I undertook a lot of personal and professional development around this time and learned more about linguistics and raising performance in others. Hungry for more, I searched Amazon for books about feedback, but I was disappointed by the number of titles available on the topic. The topic cropped up from time to time on training courses, mainly when I was training new managers or internal coaches, and I began to build up a mental collection of ideas, models, and theories about how to give feedback in a number of different situations and contexts. I soon realized that there wasn't a universal feedback model, but there were some common principles that could be applied irrespective of the situation you were in. I resolved to one day write a book on giving feedback, to bring together all of my learning and practice into one concise guide. I particularly wanted it to be of use to newly promoted managers, to spare them some of the mistakes and pitfalls that I had made along the way. I think it was Winston Churchill who once said "I'm always ready to learn, but I don't always enjoy being taught!"

So here you have it, a collection of personal learning gathered over a 25 year span inside large corporations and also from operating as a freelance consultant. Most of these lessons were learned the hard way, and in some respects, they stick firmer because of that.

I sincerely hope that you are ready to learn, and also that you enjoy being taught.