- Decide on the outcome you want.
- Choose a course of action.
- Pay attention to what happens in the moment.
- Change course if necessary.
Using these four steps will get you a long way in life in many different situations, and for the purposes of developing your feedback skills, let's look at how it relates to giving feedback messages.
Here's an example of how the four-tep plan could relate to a workplace feedback conversation:
- Decide on the outcome you want.
To raise the awareness of Jane's behavior in team meetings to Jane and to ensure that she understands that change is necessary.
- Choose a course of action.
Book a private one-to-one meeting with Jane directly after the team meeting. Use the BAR model to structure the conversation.
- Pay attention to what happens in the moment.
Notice how Jane reacts during the conversation and listen to what underlying reasons she offers for her behavior.
- Change course if necessary.
Be prepared to abandon the model and pursue an alternative line of enquiry if you think that Jane is about to air a deeper issue and that the time will be better spent discussing something that will leverage a more impactful change within Jane. It's never in anyone's interests to doggedly finish a pattern or technique if you suddenly notice something more significant to pursue.