"Although what I am now to say is to be, in form, a reprimand, it is not intended to add a pang to what you have already suffered." | ||
| --Abraham Lincoln | ||
Sometimes it's necessary to deliver a reprimand or "telling off" in the workplace because someone has violated the code of professional conduct, whether it's formalized or not. The issue could be as basic as someone not complying with a mandatory HR policy, or even being disrespectful or unprofessional. It's probably the most unpleasant conversation to have at work, and I hope it only comes around once in a blue moon for you. That being said, when it happens, it must be dealt with swiftly and effectively. And using the skills you'll learn in this chapter, you'll be able to do just that.
In this chapter you will:
- Meet Trevor, who just couldn't get to the office on time
- Learn three valuable lessons from my own painful experiences
- Learn how to apply the DESC feedback model
- Be able to turn back time and re-write a previous reprimand opportunity
I'm going to recount an experience now that illustrates the consequences of correcting someone's behavior when it gets out of line, but also what happens if you don't do it in a timely manner! It also exposes a source of conflict for managers everywhere.
Tip
There will be times in your new role when you may not agree with company policy, but as a manager, you will have to enforce it. Act as if you fully support it.
If you have to gripe about it then do it to your manager. In the long term, it will weaken your leadership position if you consistently take the approach of "The company says…" or "The MD wants us to…". Your people must work for you and they must see alignment between yours and the company's direction.
If you have anarchic tendencies, take the Frank Sinatra approach: leave and start your own business (I did it my way).
Trevor was exceptionally clever. I inherited him when I managed an established and well respected team, for which he was a team leader. He had many skills and good qualities—except timekeeping. Back then, we had rigid start and finish times and were required to be at our desks at a specific time and no later.
I noticed that Trevor consistently arrived at work 10 minutes later than the rest of the team, and I knew it had to be addressed. I hadn't had any management training at this stage, so I jumped in as best as I knew how. I called Trevor over to my desk and told him that I noticed that he was late getting in that morning, to which he commented that he had to visit the bathroom on the way into the office; this left me somewhat stunned and without an answer. While Trevor was regular in one sense, it wasn't the sort of regularity I was after.
On reflection, I suspect that this was a pre-prepared explanation, which you will find that people often carry around with them when they know they are bending the rules.
Trevor's timekeeping improved for a few days before slipping back into his old habit. With hindsight, I feel as if he was testing the boundaries to see how far he could push me, which will probably happen to you at some point too. (Trevor's retired now, but I hear he has trained a small army of rule breakers that he's left in his wake.)
The situation presented itself again and I felt compelled to act, but this time I made an even bigger mistake. At the end of our weekly team meeting, I looked everyone in the eye and told them that I expected them all to be in on time without exception. As you can imagine, this approach too had very little effect directly on Trevor, but it did upset the rest of the team.
Trevor strolled in late again and I called him straight over to my desk and told him that it wasn't acceptable for him to start later than everyone else and that he needed to be in on time. I was very frustrated and near to losing my temper. Trevor's reaction was quite peculiar; he told me all about the good work that he had been doing in the evenings that had saved the company time and money. I guess in his mind, the fact that he worked late justified him coming in later than everyone else. The minor detail he overlooked was that he was also getting paid overtime for working late! What a strange logic.
After that, he arrived at his desk right on time, but not a second earlier. I had corrected the situation but had made a few mistakes along the way, which had made it harder than necessary for me and the rest of the team. Let's review the learning from this:
|
My naïve approach |
Your enlightened approach |
|---|---|
|
I made an observation about an inappropriate behavior without specifying a correction. |
Own your statement and say what you want the person to change. |
|
I reprimanded the whole team for one person's behavior. |
Directly address any issues with and only with the person concerned. |
|
I allowed Trevor to give me a reason for breaking the rules. |
When the situation calls for it, tell, don't ask. Check for understanding but don't get into a debate. |