Results: What Would Success Look Like?

When thinking about an influence opportunity, the best place to start is where you would like to end up. What result do you hope to achieve by influencing this person or group? How will you know that you have been successful? What will you see, hear, or experience that will let you know you've accomplished your goal? What specific influence objectives will you need to achieve along the way?

Sometimes we're embarrassed or ashamed to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we want results—pretty specific results at that—and will be deeply disappointed if we don't obtain them. When we don't approve of our own wish to influence, we might be manipulative or halfhearted about the process, hoping to get away with it without anyone—even ourselves—noticing. And, of course, that doesn't work very well. So if you care about the outcome of a discussion, a meeting, a proposal, a request, or a family council, let yourself know it. When you can do this, you've started along the path of conscious influencing. You won't always be successful, but you'll probably find that you feel stronger, less stressed, and more powerful because you're taking an active role rather than playing the victim of circumstances or of other people's actions or decisions.

Influence goals (long-term) and objectives (short-term) are based on needs and requirements that can often be met in a variety of ways. Sometimes you'll change your specific influence objective in order to be more certain of achieving a long-term result that will meet your needs. In Chapter 8, you will learn how to design an influence objective that will be a good “star to steer by.”

Relationship: How Well Do You Influence One Another?

A key element in your influence framework is the relationship you've developed with the person you wish to influence. An influence relationship exists, potentially, when one or both parties have goals that require the support or actions of the other. Not all relationships are influence relationships. There are people with whom we communicate regularly, but whose actions are irrelevant to our own goals. It's possible to have a good friendship with someone without having an effective influence relationship with him or her, and it's possible to have a good influence relationship with someone you wouldn't choose as a friend. Because influencing another person is not an event, but rather part of a process, everything that occurs in your influence relationship affects the future of that relationship. The success or failure of subsequent influence opportunities with that person depends on the influence history you build together. If the other person or group feels that you were unfair or dishonest, you will become less influential. In other words, every time you influence someone, you make it easier or more difficult to influence that person the next time.

When you assess the state of an influence relationship honestly and accurately, you'll probably know whether or not the other person is likely to be open to your influence. If not, you'll have to begin by doing the work that's required to repair or rebuild your influence relationship—or decide to influence indirectly through another person or group.

An influence relationship at work or in the community is not necessarily a close personal friendship. You may have few social interests in common or have the wrong chemistry to be friends. The basic criterion for choosing someone with whom to build an influence relationship is that there is some mutual benefit possible if you are willing and able to help or support one another.

In this complex and changing world, building solid and mutually beneficial influence relationships within your organization and profession, as well as outside of it, creates a network of information and opportunity that you'll be able to call on throughout your professional life. Building positive influence relationships in your family and community will provide you with a lifelong base of support. Paradoxically, the very moment that you need a good influence relationship the most is likely to be the hardest time to start building one. Successful influencers are aware of this; not only do they avoid burning bridges they may need to cross one day, but they put effort into building bridges before they are needed.

Chapter 9 will help you to better understand and to build and improve on your existing influence relationships. You'll also gain some ideas on developing new and effective influence relationships.

Context: What Else Is Going On?

Influence doesn't occur in a vacuum. There are always many factors in a situation that can affect the outcome. In general, these factors can be found in three areas.

1. Individual (both yourself and the person you want to influence)
   • Personality and preferences: Where is the “comfort zone” for each of us? How does he or she prefer to be influenced? What's my usual approach?
   • Values and goals: What is important to each of us? What's riding on this influence opportunity?
   • Current issues and priorities: Where is the other's attention focused right now? Is this a good time to influence?
   • Needs and vested interests: What does each of us have to gain or lose by the outcome?
2. Organizational
   • Purpose and vision: What's the organization about? How can I align my influence issue with organizational goals?
   • Structure and processes: How does the organization work? What do I need to know in order to get a hearing?
   • Power relationships: What are the current politics of the organization? Who is important to the success of my influence opportunity?
   • Current issues and priorities: What's important right now? How can I use that to increase the relevance of my approach?
3. Cultural (national, professional, community, or organizational)
   • Values: What does the nation, organization, or group believe to be right, good, or important? What are their criteria for decision making?
   • Norms: What's the “right way” to get things done?
   • Taboos: What's outside the boundaries of the acceptable?

Of course, influence doesn't take place within a closed system. External elements such as trends and issues in the environment may also have an impact on the outcome. These contextual elements, over which you have no control, may lead you to change or adapt your approach or timing.

You'll also want to spend some time thinking about how your own needs and vested interests, personality, and behavioral skills affect the context for influence with this particular person, organization, and/or culture. Chapters 10, 11, and 12 treat these issues in more depth and provide ideas and practical suggestions for dealing with each aspect of the context for influence.

Approach: How Will I Achieve Results?

Once you've established a realistic but optimistic objective, considered the state of the relationship, and analyzed the contextual factors, you're in a good position to select the tactical approach and specific behaviors that are most likely to accomplish the results you hope to achieve.

Direct influence behaviors fall into two categories: expressive influence and receptive influence. Expressive influence behaviors involve sending ideas and information toward others in a way that will engage their interest and persuade them to support you. Receptive influence behaviors involve drawing ideas and information from others in a way that will guide them toward a commitment to action. The influence model in Figure 3.2 shows the expressive and receptive influence tactics.

Neither type of influence behavior is better or worse than the other one. Each of the behaviors is intended to accomplish a particular influence result. Used thoughtfully, in combination, they can lead you toward achieving your influence goals. Over time, often within the same conversation, you will aim to balance expressive and receptive influence energy. (In Chapter 14, you will learn some guidelines for selecting and using specific behaviors.)

Table 3.1 shows influence tactics and behaviors and what they're designed to accomplish. You'll notice two columns: tactics and behaviors. The intention is what you want your behavior to achieve. The tactic is a summary of the intention. The behaviors are specific ways of implementing the tactics.

Copyright © 1994, 2014 by Barnes & Conti Associates, Inc. Reproduced by permission of Barnes & Conti Associates, Inc. www.barnesconti.com.

Influence behaviors have both verbal and nonverbal components. Facial expression, voice tone, gestures, and the way you use physical or virtual space can all contribute to or detract from the impact of your influence.

Using any influence behavior effectively requires, first of all, being clear about the results you want to obtain—your influence goal. Next, you'll think about the person you intend to influence and the influence relationship you currently have with one another. You'll consider the context in which the influence will take place: individual, team, organizational, cultural, or external factors and issues that might affect the outcome. You can then select the tactics and behaviors that are most likely to be useful under the circumstances and even plan a specific approach. During the actual influence event, you'll stay alert to the other's responses and monitor whether you're moving closer to or further from your goal—or approaching an alternate result that meets your needs satisfactorily. You may stick with your plan, modify it based on the other's response, or disengage to rethink your approach.

In Chapters 4 and 5, you'll explore the specific influence behaviors in greater depth. In Chapter 14, you'll learn how to choose and use influence behaviors to achieve specific results.