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Foster Belonging and Inclusion

The diversity, equity, inclusion (DEI) world has recently added the idea of belonging to the lexicon as a necessary ingredient for inclusion. Companies like LinkedIn and MidPen Housing, an organization dedicated to developing affordable housing in the San Francisco Bay Area, are explicit in incorporating belonging in naming their efforts. For LinkedIn, it is DIB (diversity, inclusion, belonging), and MidPen named their effort ABIDE (advancing belonging, inclusion, diversity, equity). Belonging at work has been described as workers feeling secure, supported, accepted, and included. “Belonging” is what allows employees to feel like they can be their authentic selves without fear of different treatment or punishment. As discussed in Chapter 6, the absence fear is a vital condition for inclusive conversations.

As part of the research for this book, I conducted a nonscientific Internet survey and asked: What does belonging at work mean to you? These answers (see Table 9.1) represent a common theme from all respondents, consistent with what surfaced in the LinkedIn survey, summarized as a sense that “I matter and am accepted unconditionally for who I am.”

Michael DeVaul, senior vice president and chief social responsibility officer for the Charlotte, North Carolina, YMCA, says that for him belonging is liberation. The YMCA’s definition of belonging is the “shared experience of co-created unity that grounds identity and transforms ‘otherness’ into togetherness.” According to research, belonging has a major impact on performance and retention. Based on the survey conducted by LinkedIn, shown in Figure 9.1, the top drivers of belonging are being recognized for one’s accomplishments, having opportunities to express one’s opinions freely (i.e., inclusive conversations), feeling that one’s contributions in team meetings are valued, and feeling comfortable being oneself at work.¹

None of these conditions are present in an environment of fear, or where trust does not exist, if there is not equity and an understanding of how power and privilege manifest in an organizational context (all conditions referenced in earlier chapters). The study showed that being recognized for accomplishments was more important to millennials than to baby boomers and more important for women than for men. Pat Waldros, LinkedIn’s former chief human resources officer, says that “when we don’t feel like we belong, we lose productivity because we waste time worrying about it and people of color spend 25-30% of their time worrying about how they fit in.”² Worrying about fitting in falls into the fear categories of separation and ego-death discussed in Chapter 6. This worry can lead to loss of connectedness—not being wanted, respected, or valued—and can damage the ego by promulgating a loss of the sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness. As mentioned in Chapter 4, the research that women of color in particular do not feel that they are recognized for their contributions is a significant barrier to a sense of belonging.³

Fostering Belonging

Culture Amp, an HR-focused survey company, and the inclusion consultancy paradigm developed an inclusion survey for the tech industry to measure, among other things, belonging.⁴ They found that belonging was a main determinant of inclusion regardless of gender, ethnicity, age group, or sexual orientation and that the correlation between belonging and engagement was markedly stronger for historically underrepresented groups. Among other recommendations, the Culture Amp Paradigm report recommended strengthening social bonds, building trusting relationships, and being intentional about inclusion.

Strengthening social bonds means that you are intentional about finding ways for people to get to know each other. As mentioned in Chapter 8, the Winters Group 4E model supports this recommendation. The 4 Es are exposure, experience, education, and empathy, which is not possible without the first three. We advocate for more exposure with those who are culturally different—to engage in different cultural experiences, to be educated about how different identity groups may have different worldviews based on different lived experiences. These experiences make empathy more plausible, as discussed in Chapter 8. Strengthening social bonds can happen in a variety of ways, for example:

   Start every team meeting with a check-in. At The Winters Group we use “share a personal and/or professional high for the week.” Another question that we use to foster a sense of inclusion is “How are you entering this space today?”

   Create intentional opportunities for the team to interface. For example, The Winters Group orchestrated a wellness challenge, inviting everyone to set goals and share progress with the team. Those who exceed their self-established goals in the week are recognized.

   Leverage technology. We use Slack as a collaboration tool to allow for ongoing communication throughout the day. On Fridays the team organically started to post humorous GIFs not videos to celebrate the upcoming weekend. Now it is almost like a competition to see who posts the funniest one.

The Winters Group is a 100 percent remote working environment, making it more difficult to strengthen social bonds, so we are very intentional in doing so. It is important to understand the different interests of employees and attempt to engage in social activities that are not directed more to one identity group. A golf outing may unintentionally exclude someone who has physical challenges or is just not interested in golf. While you cannot please everyone, incorporating a variety of activities will enhance a sense of belonging.

Trusting relationships is another recommendation of the Culture Amp Paradigm report. I explained the difficulties of developing trust across difference in Chapter 8. The study recommends developing mentoring relationships as a means of building trust. This is a good idea because mentorship has been shown to advance the careers of historically underrepresented groups. However, it is also documented that people of color, especially women of color, have difficulty finding mentors particularly as part of a formal program. I have heard several stories from women of color that the formal mentoring relationship may start out fine but over time both parties seems to lose interest and the sessions are canceled and rescheduled several times until they just fizzle out.

According to a study by the consulting firm Heidrick and Struggles, informal mentoring may be more effective. The study notes that only 9 percent of respondents found their mentor through a formal program.⁵ According to the study, formal mentoring programs had not cracked the code on how to create organic relationships. The key to great mentorship is that a bond of trust is formed, and the authors assert that an organic relationship where two individuals come together and want to invest time in that relationship will do just that.

Another recommendation for creating belonging from the Culture Amp Paradigm study is intentionality in developing an inclusive culture. Belonging is actually a component of inclusion, according to a study by L. M. Shore and colleagues.⁶ They propose a model for inclusion as shown in Figure 9.2, where “uniqueness” and “belongingness” work together to create feelings of inclusion.⁷ They postulate that uniqueness affords opportunities for improved group performance when the group values each person’s uniqueness. When an individual is not accepted for their unique contributions, as supported by the LinkedIn study, the individual does not feel a sense of belonging.

For example, the widely documented phenomena that happens in meetings where a woman’s idea might be ignored and later a man offers essentially the same idea and is lauded leads to women feeling excluded and ultimately to higher attrition rates. Research on women executives in top management teams suggests that, while women have a positive impact on firm performance, they leave their firms at a higher rate than male executives do.⁸ The assimilation cell where there is high belongingness and low value in uniqueness reflects situations in which an individual who is unique is treated as an “insider” only if they are perceived as conforming with the dominant norms of culture. This is often referred to as “fit,” which leads subordinated groups to sometimes feel they have to cover, code-shift, or minimize their differences.

The term covering was coined in 1963 by sociologist Erving Goffman to describe how even individuals with known stigmatized identities made a “great effort to keep the stigma from looming large.”⁹ Said another way, covering is the act of concealing something about yourself to avoid making other people feel uncomfortable or to lessen attention to a given characteristic. It’s about downplaying pieces of your identity—such as race, religion, gender, disability, or sexual orientation—to avoid feelings of anxiety, frustration, or fear. Goffman gave the example of how President Franklin Delano Roosevelt ensured he was always seated behind a table before his Cabinet entered. President Roosevelt was not hiding his disability—everyone knew he was in a wheelchair. However, he was covering, making sure his disability was in the background of the interaction.

In 2006 legal scholar Kenji Yoshino further developed the concept of “covering.”¹⁰ He elaborated the four axes along which individuals can cover: appearance, affiliation, advocacy, and association. According to research, as many as 75 percent of people of color cover some aspect of their identity as well as 45 percent of white men. Code-shifting is the act of purposefully modifying your behavior in different settings to fit the dominant cultural norm. For example, you might not use vernacular that is considered ethnic or unique to your culture. “Minimization,” a stage on the Intercultural Development Continuum, discussed in Chapter 3, might manifest for historically underrepresented groups as “going along to get along.” Research shows that women have minimized their feminine features in favor of more traditional masculine traits to fit, and African American women may not wear a natural hairstyle in an attempt not to stand out. The assimilating behaviors may increase a sense of belongingness but at the same time diminish the sense of uniqueness. Emotional exhaustion can occur in this quadrant and lead to high turnover rates, especially when the “fitting” behaviors go against personal values.

When individuals experience low belongingness but are highly valued in the organization for their uniqueness, this is called differentiation. In some organizational settings, there may be individuals who offer unique and rare capabilities who are not considered or treated as organizational insiders. One way that organizations have put differentiation into practice is through free agency, whereby organizations purchase the services of highly talented and unique people to solve specific problems, and they remain as external consultants or contractors. Inclusion happens when an individual simultaneously experiences a high sense of belonging and a feeling that their uniqueness is valued. In this definition, belonging is a component of inclusion.

Fostering Belonging in K–12 Educational Settings

Based on a survey of educators conducted by the Education Week Research Center, a student’s sense of belonging at school is important to academic achievement.¹¹ Even though most educators reported using strategies to help students feel welcome and safe at school, like greeting them at the classroom door each morning, many respondents reported that they “struggle” to help address some barriers to belonging. A full 41 percent of respondents reported that it is challenging or very challenging for them to address “the concerns of students who feel that they might be judged negatively based on their identity (e.g., disability status, gender, race/ethnicity).” A student who feels like the school environment is unjust or designed for someone from a different cultural background may become disengaged or not recognize his or her own potential, researchers say. That feeling can be reinforced by factors like a lack of diversity in school reading materials, unfair dress codes, or the sense that, for example, a mostly white, female teaching staff relates to some students differently than others.

The Winters Group has supported the CMS (Charlotte-Mecklenburg School) district in Charlotte, North Carolina, for several years in improving the cultural proficiency of its eighteen thousand employees, from the superintendent to those who provide transportation. The vison for CMS, which is stressed in many ways throughout the district, including all of the training sessions and their literature, is “every child, parent, caregiver, visitor and fellow employee, feels welcomed, expected, valued, and appreciated every day.” District bus drivers are included in the training to explore with them what this vision means in their role and their responsibility in ensuring that every child feels welcomed and expected. A key to belonging is feeling that you are “expected.”

Valda Valbrun, CEO of the Valbrun Consulting Group and K–12 principal strategist with The Winters Group, supported the district in developing the vision and said that there was a lot of conversation about the words “welcomed” and “expected” as to whether they were redundant. Valbrun lobbied to keep both words because there is an important distinction. You can be welcoming, but when you are expecting someone to come, you may do something special just for that person. Both terms together create a sense of belonging. Educators can engage in the following to enhance a sense of belonging for all students, especially the most vulnerable:

Increase cultural competence by learning more about the cultural framework and norms of your students. If you don’t know about behaviors that might be cultural, you can misinterpret to the detriment of the student. For example, a Black child who talks out in class without raising their hand, even after many admonitions by the teacher, might be labeled as disruptive. However, maybe their faith expression is one known as call-and-response, a discourse pattern associated with African American religious tradition. The child may be learning at church that you just talk back and forth. The interpretation of disruption would lead to some type of punishment, whereas considering the possibility that it is cultural would lead to different actions. The behavior might still need to be adjusted, but the approach would be very different.

Show a genuine interest in each child by learning what they like and don’t like.

Learn to pronounce a student’s name.

Do not schedule tests or project due dates on religious holidays.

Engage and validate the social identity of all students during class.

Do not anticipate a student’s emotional responses based on gender, sexual orientation, race, or ethnicity.

Refrain from using the term “illegals” to reference undocumented students.

Do not deny the experiences of students by questioning the credibility and validity of their stories.

Avoid expecting students of any particular group to “represent” the perspectives of others of their race, gender, or other dimension of difference in class discussions or debates.

Ask students about what makes them feel like they belong. Let them tell you in their own words what it looks like and feels like for them.

Recognize that dress codes can foster a sense of belonging or not. Find ways to embrace the uniqueness of each child and be creative with dress codes to the extent possible.

Do not assume the gender of any student.

Avoid assigning projects that ignore differences in socioeconomic status and inadvertently penalize students with fewer financial resources.

Do not exclude students from accessing student activities due to high financial costs.

Avoid assuming that students of particular ethnicities must speak another language or must not speak English.

Refrain from complimenting students of color on their use of “good” English.

Do not ask students with hidden disabilities to identify themselves in class.

Pay attention and correct student-to-student inequitable behavior.

Emphasize the child’s assets rather than deficiencies.

Develop lesson plans that focus on the cultural heritage of the students.

Ensure that the books you choose include the identities of your students. They need to see themselves in the teaching so that they feel that they matter.

Develop mutually respectful relationships with parents and guardians. Let them know that they matter. Accept them for who they are, treating them always with dignity. Empathize with their unique situations and be flexible in how, when, and where you will meet or talk.

Hold equitable conversations with parents and guardians considering the power dynamics that might be present as discussed in Chapter 5.

Often, when considering the lower socioeconomic levels of many students in large public school systems, the focus is on what they don’t have rather than their strengths. Children easily pick up on the biases that teachers might unintentionally perpetuate. My daughter-in-law, Dr. Kamilah Legette, a research associate at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, studies the impact of bias on students of color. Her research revealed that children know when their teachers perceive them to be at some type of deficit.¹² Children answered her queries with comments like:

I mean just because they think they can just look at you and say “Oh, you’re a bad child,” but they actually don’t even know you, so that’s just what they think before they actually get to know you, but then when they get to know you, their opinions would change and they would think, and then they’ll know that you’re nice, you’re not a bad child.

They didn’t really think that I had the answer. I was raising my hand to say something, but like the teachers kept calling on white people, not me. But I keep trying. It can be kinda hard, because I feel like my teachers don’t like me or think I know things.

It’s just, I can’t really explain it to you, but sometimes it’s like I can tell at first they think I’m going to be a certain way and then they find out I’m different.

Cultivating a sense of inclusion in the workplace, school, and other organizational settings requires intentional, ongoing actions. Those who feel excluded or compelled to fit narrow cultural norms will not thrive and will likely not be willing to engage in inclusive conversations.

SUMMARY

   Feeling like you belong is a basic human need for children and adults alike.

   Belonging is a component of inclusion.

   A feeling of inclusion is a core condition for inclusive conversations.

   Organizations should be intentional in understanding what inclusion is in their organizational context and how to achieve it by conducting ongoing pulse checks. The results of research can serve as conversation starters.

   A sense of belonging is very individual, contextual, and even situational. While there is a mutual responsibility for achieving it, power dynamics (as discussed in Chapter 5) can have a huge impact on the outcome. Therefore, those in power positions have a greater responsibility for ensuring that a culture of inclusion is actualized.