Chapter Ten. Magnetic North
Creativity beckons you to break out of the mold, but it isn’t a license to do whatever you want. The end doesn’t justify the means no matter how deep your passion swells. Mark Twain famously said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” These are great words to put on a motivational coffee mug, but they aren’t entirely true. They ignite a spark, but the fire might be burning the wrong stuff—like the patio furniture instead of chopped wood.
Nothing epitomizes the creative fight more than turning tragedy into triumph, and that’s what Lance Armstrong had done. The world rallied for him as he neared the finish line of the Tour de France. His passion burned bright. The way he overcame the odds inspired us to do the same.
Dream, Discover, and Die
I was facing health issues of my own, and Lance’s determination gave me the courage to fight. Then we discovered that Armstrong’s victory was unfairly won. It wasn’t a creative fight but a cheater’s lie. The betrayal stung. Twenty years from now, Armstrong will still be living in the shadow of his mistake. Armstrong doesn’t stand alone; there are countless others who took their creative license too far. Creativity isn’t carte blanche to do whatever you please.
Mark Twain loved to stir people up. He wrote with an intellect and wit that got people out of their seats. Since the beginning of his writing days, he was rallying people to “Throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” These words will never go out of style. We will always need to be reminded to leave safety behind for the pursuit of our dreams. Yet such advice is naively incomplete. You can’t just run out the door, jump on a ship, and hope to survive. Without proper understanding of nautical navigation, you will die. Incurable optimism is valuable, but when it comes to taking a journey so is planning ahead.
Regret
Dreams float in the clouds, but true creativity is always rooted in dirt. What gives creativity its strength is the pursuit of a magnetic north. The combination of heart, mind, and soul create this magnetic pull. Lance Armstrong was driven by power and his passion to succeed. Blinded by passion, he neglected his mind and soul. And this isn’t just about Lance, Einstein, Picasso, or Steve Jobs. Celebrities are easy to notice and to blame. When they fall it makes us feel better about ourselves. Yet we have all made mistakes big and small. Speaking for myself, I have made mistakes in my life for which I am ashamed. I’m guessing you may be in the same boat. We have all fallen short.
Mistake
Passion transfers energy to your creative pursuits. It gives you the gumption to bounce back even when you fall down. Yet too much passion can get out of control. One horrible day, I followed my passions and made one of the biggest mistakes of my career. I was crushed by the weight of what I had done. I was immobilized by guilt and shame. I knew I needed help, so I sought the counsel of a pro.
Help
After a few weeks my therapist’s advice began to sink in: “Shame paralyzes, while regret helps you to move.” Regret transforms. It doesn’t belittle or lessen the consequences of mistakes, but it does build resolve to make amends and to lead a better life. Shame is self-hatred, while regret is rooted in love. The strongest love is grace—which literally means unmerited or undeserved love. That was all I had. This force helped me own up to my mistake, seek amends, and change. Creativity is looking at a situation in a new way, and that’s exactly what grace helped me to do.
E. M. Forster once said, “One person with passion is better than forty people merely interested.” Sure, that’s true as long as the passion is standing on solid ground. The key to living without regret isn’t to live with passion and blindly follow Mark Twain’s advice. Passion by itself isn’t enough. Without the sure footing that strong values provide, pursuing your dreams can be an icy slope. Clearly defining your values and sticking to them is like putting on metal crampons that give you grip.
PASSION, THOUGH A BAD REGULATOR, IS A POWERFUL SPRING.
— RALPH WALDO EMERSON
Exercise
STEP 1
Select three core values that describe you and three core values that you aspire to have.
Write these down on an empty page in your journal. Let the words float in the middle of the page.
Come up with your own core values, or select from the words below:
Honesty. Authenticity. Creativity. Kindness. Generosity. Frugality. Moderation.
Justice. Integrity. Curiosity. Charity. Adventure. Loyalty. Serenity. Drive.
Humor. Income. Family. Nutrition. Exercise. Faith. Friendship. Community. Innovation. Prayer.
Meditation. Patience. Temperance. Silence. Resolution. Humility. Boldness.
STEP 2
Create three sentences that spell out how you would like to implement your values. For example, if you selected family as a core value, write out a sentence to further articulate what you mean. One sentence might be, “Because family is important to me, I am committed to stop working on nights and weekends.” Or you might write, “I so deeply value time with my wife and kids that for the next three weeks I will turn off my laptop and phone as soon as I get home.” Or, “I miss my extended family and am going to plan a visit within the next year.” Most importantly, make it specific to you.