Chapter Forty. Gratitude

When the shark sank its teeth into Mike’s leg, he spun around in shock. What had started out as another perfect day turned into a gory scene. Mike was a senior in high school and had woken up early to go surfing with his buddies at one of their favorite local spots. He grew up on the north shore of Kauai and had been surfing his whole life. His family lived on a few acres that overlooked the sea. Pineapples grew in the garden; mangoes, papayas, and coconuts grew on the trees. Mike’s family was warm, loving, and kind. It wasn’t just paradise in a picturesque way—it was paradise in the true sense of the word. Mike’s cares were small and his future was bright. On most mornings, he and his friends drove down to the beach to catch a sunrise surf before school. They paddled out into the water wearing big Hawaiian grins.

I met Mike when he was a photography student in one of my classes. He was a bright-eyed student who carried himself with poise. Mike exuded kindness, generosity, and grace and always turned in the best work. It was obvious that he was living life like it was a sacred gift.

I knew Mike for over a year before he told me about the attack. One day I decided to ask about his slight limp. The story he told shook me to the core. I’m a surfer myself, and shark attack stories are something we all hear. And I’ve surfed in many places where other surfers have been taken down. Yet I had never heard someone recount such a story firsthand. At one point I said, “Wow. This must have really changed your life.” I expected him to respond by telling me about fear, loss, and pain. But instead, in his warm Hawaiian accent, he said, “Yeah. It’s really made me grateful.” And then he went on to list all the things that he is grateful for: that the bite was below the knee, that his friends were there to help, that he was given a second chance, that he can still get out and surf, that it shaped the course of his life in such a positive way, that we get to live on a giant blue sphere, and that he’s still alive. He went on and on. Mike’s response was a life-changing moment for me. I had never witnessed gratitude in such a condensed and powerful form.

After the accident, National Geographic sent a photographer to photograph Mike for a story in their magazine. The photographer and Mike became friends. This planted a seed that has since grown into a tree. And it all hinges on the response to the accident that Mike chose. Rather than fear, loathing, and self-pity, Mike selected gratitude, and this has turned him into a beacon of light—just ask anyone he knows. And his story isn’t over yet; he still expresses gratitude every day, whether photographing or speaking out for the defense of the environment in Washington, DC.

When life bites, it’s easy to respond in a pitiful and spiteful way. When we are wronged, it’s easy to fly off the handle, complain, or lash out because of the pain. But the creative people among us find a different way. Rather than anger and distress, they spread grace. And their gratitude is like a life-ring that saves.

One cold and bitter night, he knocks on Monseigneur Bienvenu’s manor door seeking shelter. Aware of the risk of housing such a man, the old bishop has pity and takes him in. He offers the man food, drink, and a place to sleep. The next morning Valjean has vanished, and so have the valuable silver forks and spoons.

The authorities catch the criminal and drag him back to the scene of the crime to confirm his guilt and send him back to prison again. Instead of being angry, the bishop seems grateful to see him again. The bishop greets Valjean with, “Ah! here you are!” Looking Jean Valjean straight in the eyes with a fierce gaze, he says, “I am glad to see you. Well, but how is this? I gave you the candlesticks too, which are of silver like the rest, and for which you can certainly get two hundred francs. Why did you not carry them away with your forks and spoons?” Valjean can’t even respond.

The authorities leave, and Monseigneur Bienvenu grabs hold of the man. And as if peering into his soul he says, “Do not forget, never forget, that you have promised to use this money in becoming an honest man.” Grateful beyond words, Valjean is forever changed.

Do you get the point? In the face of tragedy and difficulty, you have a choice. One choice is creative and the other is not.

“When we choose gratitude, we see and live more deeply,” as Robert Gupta told me one day. Gupta is a musician who is incredibly smart and equally kind. To give you a sense of his brilliance, he finished his master’s degree at Yale and started playing for the Los Angeles Philharmonic when he was just 19. Gupta is a genius, and he believes strongly that music has the ability to change our lives.

Gupta doesn’t take his gift lightly and exudes gratitude for the skills he has. And so he shares the gift whenever he can, whether playing in a homeless shelter or on an international stage. He and I sat down to eat lunch, and I asked him what he’s been up to these days. In a quiet tone he told me how he had started playing solo concerts in a hospice center for people during their final days. A few times, he explained, a patient died as he was playing a song. It was one of the most meaningful experiences of his life. And what a gift to give—to soften the pain of death and usher a soul from this life to the next.

Gupta, Bienvenu, and Valjean share a similar thread—they see the world through a gratitude lens. This lens makes their worlds come alive. As John Milton once wrote, “Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.” Gratitude is a lens, and it’s also a tool. But it isn’t a tool that helps you to achieve; it’s more like one that shows you the way, like a compass.

But like all things, gratitude can be ignored, which leads to few questions for you: Will you carry it in your heart? Not as a way to become more creative or to make better stuff, but because the preciousness of life demands it be so. Will you allow gratitude to be central to your trade? Will you make gratitude central to your life? Will you choose gratitude today?