Part 7
Meetings and Presentations

Meetings are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.

—John Kenneth Galbraith

Ah, meetings: the biggest time-waster of all time. And presentations? Don’t even get me started. But they are a necessity in most companies, so you’ll need to become comfortable with and good at managing both. As a manager, you’ll need to lead (or least moderate/guide) meetings, and you’ll need to be able to stand and deliver to your superiors when the time comes.

Maybe you know PowerPoint and maybe you don’t, but your words are where the rubber hits the road. To make the most of these two necessary evils, make your words count!

How to Open a Meeting

Casual

• And how are we?

• How is everyone doing today?

• Okay, folks, let’s get down to business, shall we?

• Somebody please bang the gavel and bring this fool’s errand to order. [joking]

• Thanks so much for being here. I promise I will make this quick and painless. [joking]

• Very glad we could all meet today; thank you for coming!

• I’m pleased that we could all be here today. So what’s first on the agenda?

• Thank you for being here today. We have only a few things to cover, so let’s get started.

• I appreciate you all being here, considering how busy everyone is.

• Everyone please take your seats so we can get started.

• As master of ceremonies, I’m calling the meeting to order.

• I’d like to open this meeting and bring the proceedings to order.

• Allow me to welcome you all to this meeting. Let’s begin with a few opening remarks.

• The time has come to call this meeting to order. Please direct your attention to the podium/front of the room.

• Without further ado, let us open our meeting notes and begin.

Formal

• Will everyone please be seated and address your attention to the front of the room.

• The meeting is now in session. Please read the minutes of the last meeting as Item One of the agenda.

How to Close a Meeting

Casual

• Last one to the bar is a rotten egg.

• Alrighty, let’s get out of here!

• Well, that’s enough for one day!

• That’s all folks! [joking]

• Okay, I think we’ve covered everything. Any questions?

• Thanks for coming, all. See you next time!

• We’re done with business for the day. Anyone up for lunch/drinks after work?

• Okay, until next time, then?

• Thank you all for being here. We’ll meet again next week/month/quarter.

• This has been a great opportunity for discussion, but our time has just run out.

• I do believe we’re done here. Let’s convene again next week/month/quarter.

• I know we all have other matters to attend to, so let’s adjourn until next time.

• Although this meeting has now come to a close, I hope you take away from it a spirit of camaraderie.

Formal

• Let us now call this meeting to a close and adjourn until next time.

• With the sound of the gavel the current session has officially come to a close.

• This meeting is hereby adjourned. Please mark the next session on your calendars.

How to Get the Attention of Your Audience

Humorous

• Are you all ready for some pearls of wisdom? [joking]

• I know you’re out there; I can hear you breathing. [joking]

• If you’ve ever been where I am, looking out onto a sea of bored faces, you’ll know the absolutely terrified I am right now. [joking]

• I admit I’m a bit nervous, so please go easy on me! [joking]

• Fasten your seat belts, folks; it’s gonna be a bumpy night. [joking]

• Now, listen up; this is important!

• I know what you’re thinking: What the heck can she tell me that I don’t already know?

• I was once where you are, waiting for someone to saying something of importance.

• Whatever I say, please feel free to pick and choose what works for you and discard the rest.

• I know talk is cheap, but I am going to try to back up everything I say with actions.

• I am so very grateful for your time, and I will do my utmost not to waste it today.

Serious

• The next hour may be the most important one of your life.

• I am only a messenger; what you do with this critical information is up to you.

• Even you learn only one new thing here today, my work will not have been in vain.

How to Ask for Help

Subtle

• Gosh, I wish there was someone who could help me with this.

• Honestly, I feel like I am floundering.

• I don’t think I can handle this on my own.

• Are you really busy right now? Oh, never mind.

• Isn’t it great how we all pitch in and help one another around here?

• There’s a time and a place for going it alone, and this isn’t one of them.

• Only a fool refuses help when it’s offered—or refuses to ask for help when it’s needed.

• Sometimes I wish people here could just spot a need without my having to spell it out.

• I’d welcome any support or backup you could offer.

• It would be so great if you could get in on this project.

• I hate to ask you this, but would you be so kind as to give me a hand with this?

• You know I would help you if you needed it, so I’d hope you’d do the same for me.

• I’m just asking you to do what you can, that’s all.

• Can someone help me, please?

More Direct

• Would you please give me a hand with this? I’d appreciate it.

• Please—I just can’t do this alone.

• I need your help—like, now.

• When your manager asks for help, you deliver.

How to Give Bad News

Tactful

• I have something fairly important to tell you. Can we talk for a moment?

• Something’s come up and we need to talk. Is this a good time?

• I will do my best to break this news to you gently.

• There’s something I need to tell you, and I don’t really know how.

• This is very hard for me, so please be patient with me as I try to get this out.

• Please don’t kill the messenger, but I have some bad news to relate.

• I will try to make this as easy as I can on you.

• Why do I always have to be the person to say these things?

• You may have already heard this, but I have a bit of bad news, unfortunately.

• I’m going to try to make this as painless as possible. Here goes.

• There’s just no easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it.

• There is never a good time to give bad news, so I’ll just get it over with.

Blunt

• I simply can’t sugarcoat this situation, so I won’t.

• Let’s just get this over with, okay?

• Nobody is ever ready to receive news like this, so just brace yourself.

• I’m not particularly good at delivering bad news, so let’s get this over with.

• This may come as a shock, so please prepare yourself for what I’m about to say.

• I have some terrible news, so brace yourself.

• Let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? It’s bad.

• I have bad news. Take it like a man.

How to Recap Key Points

Casual

• One more time, with feeling. [joking]

• I don’t know about you guys, but I need to review before moving on.

• Okay, let’s go over this stuff again.

• Let’s recap, okay?

• I’m sure your brains are in overload, so let’s recap, okay?

• Anyone here care to sum things up for the rest of us?

• Let’s go back over what we just covered so we’re all on the same page.

• Let’s take a moment to go over the main points of our discussion.

• There is no way we’ll absorb all this without a complete recap.

• I think we need to go over our findings once more in a general way.

Formal

• I think we need to backtrack and go over the key points once more.

• It’s important that we have a solid understanding of where we’ve been before moving on.

• Let’s sum up our findings as bullet points, shall we?

• There is no time like the present to go over the major points of the meeting so far.

• We want to keep everything fresh in our minds, and a good recap will accomplish that.

• I would like to recap our findings so that we can have a better idea of where to go next.

• A summation of the major points is needed before we continue.

• It’s important that we go over the salient points before continuing the meeting.

How to Propose a Solution or Solutions

Gentle

• This may sound crazy, but what if we considered this instead?

• I could be wrong, but this might be a possible solution.

• I’m not sure what else I can add, but have we thought about this?

• I am wondering if this might be of help.

• Do you think something like this might be a possible solution?

• Your solution is good, but have we explored all the options?

• Has anyone considered an alternative such as this?

Blunt

• I think we need to consider other options, such as…

• I believe something like this would be worth looking into.

• What would we have to lose to at least consider this as a solution?

• What if tried doing something different, such as this?

• I think there is a better way to handle this, if you’re open to hearing it.

• I think we need to stop debating and go with a workable solution, such as this.

• Until we discover a reasonable or better alternative, we need to go with this.

• Sorry, but I’ll need to exercise my veto power on this one.

• We’re doing it this way and that’s the end of it.

• All of your solutions are non-starters; we’re doing this instead.

When You Need to Instill Calm

Gentle

• I think we all need to just breathe and relax for a moment.

• I know we are all upset; let’s take a few minutes to compose ourselves.

• Please, everyone, let’s take a moment to gather our thoughts.

• Everyone please calm down. It’s impossible to hear anything in this melee.

Directive

• I’m upset, too, but this will be much easier if everyone just calms down.

• When people panic, bad decisions are made; everyone, please, just stay calm.

• We need to stay calm if we are going to handle this situation well.

• If we can’t have peace, I’m afraid I’ll have to clear the room.

• Everybody here needs to take a chill pill.

• Everyone, please—try to stay focused, okay?

• We’re getting nowhere with all this commotion. Quiet down!

• Quit all the static out there and pipe down!

• I don’t care how upset you all are; you need to shut up and listen!

How to Deal With Hecklers

Friendly

• I hear you; just give me a moment and then you can have the floor, okay?

• I am asking you politely to please allow me to finish my thought; will you do that?

• Please be seated; you’ll get your turn to speak, I promise you.

• Please let me finish before you start interrupting me.

• If you will just wait a moment you’ll have a chance to speak.

• You will be given an opportunity to speak, but only if you wait your turn.

Confrontational

• I know you have a valid point, but you still need to let others have their say.

• I want to work with you, but I can’t when you’re behaving like this.

• We may have to agree to disagree on that point.

• I’m not sure what, if anything, this person has to offer that could possibly be of value.

• You are exercising your right to free speech—I get that—but please give me a chance to finish.

• If you want to have your say, then allow everyone else to be heard, too.

• Your behavior is ungentlemanly/unladylike.

• Shouting and heckling never solved anything, you know.

• Would you care to enlighten the rest of us with your antics?

• I will tolerate disagreements and even dissention, but not rudeness.

• You are making it difficult for everyone here to take you seriously.

• Please be seated and wait your turn, or you’ll have to be escorted from the premises.

• I refuse to give in to these tactics, which are meant only to unsettle me.

• Why don’t you go back into the cabinet from whence you came?

• Shut up or I’ll have you thrown out.

How to Admit You Were Wrong

Contrite

• I am ashamed of committing such an egregious error. It will never happen again.

• I was wrong, and I’ll do anything to regain your trust in me.

• There is no excuse for what happened; please forgive me.

• I take full responsibility for what went wrong. I feel terrible about what happened.

• I absolutely dropped the ball here; please accept my apologies.

• This error is mine to correct and no one else’s.

• I should have listened to you in the first place—my bad.

• Gee, I was seriously off base; lesson learned, I guess.

• I was definitely in the wrong about this one. Whoops.

• It was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone.

• I feel pretty bad about what happened; just luck of the draw, I guess.

• To err is human; but to forgive is divine, apparently.

• I did the crime, so now I guess I have to do the time. [joking]

• My only error was in not acknowledging my mistake sooner.

• Yes, I was wrong—but isn’t everyone from time to time?

• I was just a victim of circumstance.

• Sure, I made a mistake. I admit it. How many have you made?

Less Remorseful

• Who are you to point a bony finger at me?

• You got me! Happy now?

• Yeah, yeah. I was wrong. Now can we get on with things?

• Yep, I’m the bad guy in this situation. [sarcasm]

• Mea culpa. [sarcasm]

When the Company/Industry Is Facing Tough Times

Casual

• There are no easy answers in times like these; we just need to keep our heads down and stay focused.

• The beatings will continue until morale improves. [joking]

• If adversity is what introduces a man to himself, I think we’re going to get to know ourselves real well over the coming months. [joking]

• Times are tough all around, I’m not gonna lie. But I am right there with you.

• I know this sucks, but let’s be glad that we’re still in business.

• If you’re going through hell, keep going.

• If we all stick together as a team, we’ll be able to weather this storm just fine.

• This is just a dry spell, something we can weather if we all pull together.

• Can’t say how long this will last, but with your help I know we will make it through.

• If ever there were a time to buckle down and think realistically, that time is now.

Formal

• We all need to tighten our belts and start thinking about what we can do to help.

• We must all be prepared to meet these challenges together.

• Don’t give up. This is a burden that can be shared among all of us.

• These are the times that try men’s souls.

• If we keep rowing through the storm, we’ll make it through.

• To make it through these challenging times, it’s essential that we keep our eyes on the prize.

How to Announce a Merger, Acquisition, or Company Closing

Tactful

• What I am about to tell you affects the entire company, so please listen carefully.

• I have something extremely important to tell all of you.

• I’ve got some big news that will affect everyone in this room, including me.

• Most of you have already heard the rumors, but let’s talk about what’s really going on.

• There is just no easy way to say what I am about to say, so let me just come out with it.

• I’ll try to put this as delicately as I can.

• Before I lose my nerve completely let me just spit it out.

• It’s unfair of me to draw this out any longer, so here it goes.

Blunt

• If you had to tell someone bad news, how would you do it?

• I’m giving you this crummy news because it’s the right thing to do.

• I need to spill the beans about something that you’ve probably figured out already.

• I’m telling you this on a need-to-know basis; most definitely, everyone here needs to know this, now.

• Here is why management has been walking around looking like doom and gloom lately.

• We are no longer the masters of our own fates, it seems.

• As of X date we will be officially acquired/closed for business/shut down. Meeting adjourned.

• Not to put too fine a point on it, but we’re going under/being acquired and we’re all out of a job.

• Another company has taken control of our business. It’s every man for himself now.

• The less said the better: This company as we know it is kaput.