HANDLING FEEDBACK AND REACTIONS TO FEEDBACK

1. Handling Feedback

To convey the information needed for behavioral change, you must keep control of the session, and that means maintaining your self-control at all times. You will not accomplish much if the discussion turns into an argument, no matter whose fault that is. Any chance of the employee listening to feedback in the aftermath will be slim.

So, above all, hold on to the session: keep the tone business-like, and refuse to be drawn into an argument or a debate. In that way, you can achieve the goals we discussed in Chapter 2. Learn what good feedback is, rehearse it when preparing for a session, and maintain control of the session so that you can effectively use it.

The following guidelines will help you deal with feedback. In using them, keep in mind the advice “Know your audience.” If you see ways to push the ‘right buttons’ in a person to get your point across, then push them.

Handling Feedback: Behavioral Guidelines— 4 S’s

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•   Sensitivity

—  Keep the tone business-like.

—  Do not express personal feelings, concerns, or explanations.

—  Do not belittle the employee in any way.

•   Staying on course

—  Do not make small talk.

—  Do not be led into argument or debate.

—  Keep to your script.

—  Stick to the facts.

•   Sugarcoating the message

—   Never sugarcoat the message; you will only confuse the employee. Don’t send mixed signals. Tell it like it is.

•   Situational specifics

—  Remember the session is intended to correct performance. It is meaningful, and you and the session have purpose.

—  If the session is not going well, dismiss the employee and arrange a next-day meeting. Cool off.

2. Handling Reactions to Feedback

Positive or Negative?

From the manager’s perspective, there are really only two employee reactions to counseling: positive and negative. Of course, each can take many different forms; for example, a negative reaction can be anything from sheer apathy to outright rage. And a manager must deal with whatever form it takes. But essentially, a reaction is positive if the employee recognizes the issue and his or her strengths and developmental needs; a reaction is negative if the employee fails to recognize them or disagrees with the manager’s viewpoint on them.

The table below provides you with a quick and simple reference for acting on these polarities. Note the need to focus on facts and clarity should the reaction be negative. The rule here is act, do not react. That is, focus on the goal of the session and the action needed to reach that goal. Do not lapse into the personal, reacting emotionally.

Basic Reaction and Action Table

Empathy and Availability

Empathy is an important part of any counseling session. It is not enough to point out discrepancies and consider your job is finished; you must be available to help the employee work through any anger and disagreement with your views. Performance improvement will be the “quicker” end result.

Handling Difficult Personality Types

There are a number of different personality types, but three stand out as being particularly difficult to work with when a manager is giving feedback. They are the intimidated, the inattentive, and the argumentative.

Intimated or Inattentive. The most effective way to get through to initimated or inattentive types is by involving them in the session as much as you can. As you work through the discussion, periodically ask the employee to paraphrase what you have just said. Have the employee take notes; later in the session, ask the employee to write out his or her goals and action plan (use the Performance Enhancement Plan—PEP— form included at the end of this chapter). Doing so gives the intimidated employee confidence and draws the inattentive one into action; it also instills ownership.

The following list summarizes these suggestions and presents a few others.

  Handling the Inattentive or Intimidated Employee  

•   Sit directly in front of the employee.

•   Begin with PEPTALK. Coach the employee as much as possible.

•   Have the employee take notes to build confidence or to focus attention.

•   Ask the employee to paraphrase discussion.

•   Ask open-ended questions to ensure understanding and encourage conversation.

•   Enlist employee in action planning.

•   Have employee write out goals and plans (use PEP form).

Argumentative. The argumentative person is the most difficult of the three types. The key here is to diffuse the anger. You must convey that the discipline is not personal—it is business. Avoid generalities; they feed the flames. Focus on details, and stress that the employee will have an active role in performance planning. Above all, maintain control— do not get drawn into an argument or a debate. If your attempts to diffuse the anger are clearly going nowhere, dismiss the employee and set a time to meet the next day. Time often leads to “cooler heads” and the productive exchange of information.

Handling the Argumentative Employee

•   Begin with PEPTALK. Be business-like in your coaching, and avoid generalities.

•   Attempt to diffuse the anger. Remind the employee this is business, nothing personal.

•   Do not engage in argument or debate.

•   Ask employee to recommend action for improvement.

•   Have employee write goals and action plan (use PEP form).

•   Reinforce with follow-up meetings.

•   Dismiss employee if necessary; set time for a next-day meeting.