The confrontive dimension of mentoring may be the most difficult to sustain as a positive intervention. It is essential for the mentor to understand that the good faith attempt to challenge the mentee is not to be equated with the aggressive verbal and nonverbal behaviors associated with the heated and often hostile debate style of traditional win/lose argumentation. In the mentoring model of learning, the mentor “confronts” by guiding and supporting the mentee in the critical act of self-reflection; stress occurs because the mentor deliberately selects an issue to examine about which there is an apparent discrepancy.
For example, the mentee may openly state that career advancement is highly important, yet not actively participate in the activities that are considered to be “promotable behaviors,” such as taking the personal initiative to work longer hours to complete important projects with high visibility in the organization.
Although the mentee may have a variety of explanations for not assuming the additional workload, the mentor can pursue the point that career success usually mandates that dedication to achieving work-related goals takes precedence over other lifestyle commitments.
The central question for the mentee is: Are you or are you not prepared to pay the price for the success you covet? There is, of course, no right answer; there is only the need for the mentee to clarify individual life and work values.
Often, mentors assist mentees to determine if some reasonable “job fit” correlation can be realistically pursued between the often competing forces of personal/professional interests and the actual or probable satisfaction with the responsibilities, daily work, and demands of a career choice.