From early childhood, we start moaning that ‘it isn’t fair!’ And many people go on moaning in the same vein for the rest of their lives. It’s surprising really, because no one ever gives us the least reason to expect life to be fair, but still we complain when it isn’t.

Well, enough. Life’s unfair: get over it. It starts the day you’re born: into the affluent West or drought-torn sub-Saharan Africa, to decent parents or dreadful ones, with siblings or not, into wealth or poverty. Yep, it’s tough, at least for some people. However unfair your life is, I’ll bet I can find someone whose life is worse, through no fault of their own.

I won’t give you endless stories about people who’ve suffered a series of truly terrible misfortunes, although I could. Chances are that you won’t be in one of those real worst-case scenarios and you’ll probably be lamenting over something far more trivial. Next time you miss out on the flat you wanted to rent, or have to work at the weekend, or even lose your job, or struggle to start a family, don’t compare yourself with other people who have flats and jobs and families and free weekends. Try comparing yourself with the ones who have no home, no work, no money, no family.

If that’s too big a stretch for your brain, then imagine that you’re in a job where you’re working hard, doing really well and showing your true potential. You realise there’s an opportunity for your company to create a new role which would be great for the business and perfect for you. The big boss agrees, creates the new job… and gives it to somebody else. This isn’t just a random example – it happened to two people I know in different companies at different times. Was it fair? Hell no. But is it life? Yes of course it is. Neither of these two people whined or took it to a tribunal or claimed discrimination or whatever. They’re both Rules players and they took it on the chin and moved on to a better place.

I can tell you now that life won’t treat you fairly. It may of course treat you far better than you could hope – it can be unfair in both directions. We don’t appreciate the good things which means we think life is being harder on us than it really is.

So aim to notice all the good stuff that happens to you in life. Every day you’re healthy, every person around you who brings you happiness, the fact you have a roof over your head and food to eat, and all the other things that some people, quite unfairly, can’t count on. Life is good to most of us as often as it’s bad, and we simply don’t appreciate it enough. So be grateful for everything you have that not everyone else has, and then you may feel you’ve got a better deal than you realised. And if it’s sometimes unfair to you despite all that – well, the dice have to fall somewhere, and maybe you just saved someone else. Instead of thinking ‘Why me?’ try thinking, ‘Why not me?’