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When you want to enjoy attending networking events
“Working a room” is an important business skill. But it isn’t easy. How to start? What to say? How to make it an interesting two-way conversation? And – something people often ask for help with – how to get away from someone boring, without being rude!
Most people don’t feel comfortable networking. In fact, I’ve found that many think it’s harder for them than others. For instance, I recently asked a conference audience of 450-ish whether they thought networking was harder for them than everybody else in the room. Virtually everybody put their hands up. I said “Well, you can’t all be right!”
Yes, networking is hard. But it’s hard for pretty much everybody. This chapter removes all that, by showing you the four steps of a successful networking conversation.
But, before that, here are some simple guidelines to help you enjoy networking, rather than just “get through it”:
- Remember: the aim of networking is to find useful people, and agree to meet them again at a later date. This means that working a room is “only” a:
- filtering exercise: will it benefit you both if you see them again?
- diary exercise: if you do want to meet, agree when you’ll do so.
- Be polite. Ask about them first. Listen intently. Don’t rant on about yourself. Don’t look over their shoulder as they’re talking, trying to find someone “more interesting”.
- Networking is not selling. Nobody will make a buying decision at a networking event (even if they seem mad keen, you’ll still have to meet later to do the paperwork). So, just aim for a subsequent meeting, not a sale.
- Make sure you’re in the right room. If you want to speak to CEOs, go to rooms full of CEOs. Also, whenever possible, look at the Guest List beforehand, to identify who you want to meet.
- You only need two things at a networking event: business cards and a pen. If you forget one of these, let it be your business cards – you absolutely need a pen, as you’ll see below. After all, you can always use their card to contact them.
The four steps of a pleasant, productive networking conversation
Step 1: In
Get into the conversation. Approach someone and ask “Can I join you?”
When they say “yes” (and they will – who’d be so rude as to blurt out “NO”?), you’ve completed this step already.
Step 2: You
Talk about them first. It’s easier, since you don’t have to think of amazing things to say about yourself. It’s more polite. It helps them feel comfortable with you – after all, people love talking about themselves. And, because you’re learning about them, you can tailor what you say about yourself later on.
To get them talking, ask good questions. There are three main types:
Step 3: Me
They will then ask about you. Remember, it’s more interesting to talk about the AFTERs you cause – “I help companies pay less tax” – than what you do – “I’m an accountant” (chapter 31 has more detail on how to craft enticing Elevator Pitches).
When they ask for more information, remember “Facts Tell Stories Sell”. It’s more interesting, memorable and compelling for them to hear successes you’ve helped others achieve than it is to hear about your products and services (and please don’t whip out your brochure).
Step 4: Out
At the end of your conversation, if you want to follow-up afterwards, ask their permission:
- Ask for their business card.
- Ask when they want you to call them.
- Ask if you can write this date/time on the back of their card (this makes it “official” that you’ll be calling).
Then, end the conversation with “I’ve enjoyed talking to you tonight. I’ll call you on Monday, as agreed” (Note the past tense here – “I enjoyed”: this shows the conversation is over).
If you don’t want to follow-up, use their answer to step 2’s Big Question:
“I’ve enjoyed our conversation. You mentioned earlier that you want to speak to surveyors. If I bump into any, would you like me to pass them your way?” [Yes please] “Great, I will do. Enjoy your evening.”
The most important thing about networking
The crux of networking is that you must follow-up. If you don’t, everything in this chapter becomes a waste of time. So, call when you said you would; prepare what you said you would; help as you said you would; and if your follow-up is written, make sure it impresses (the next chapter has more on this).
Having the ability and discipline to follow-up sets you apart. Far too many people don’t (I imagine you could name a few, without thinking too hard). But it’s an effective, quick way to build quality relationships with quality people.
