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Give Positive Feedback in Smart Ways

The term “positivity” includes a range of thought patterns and emotions including joy, serenity, amusement, hope, and inspiration. In the last decade or so, scientists have begun to better understand how vital positivity is to the quality of your life. First, of course, it feels good, and it can have a big impact on the state of your physical and mental health. Beyond that, it actually changes how your mind works.

From a leadership perspective, it’s important to understand the link between positivity and productivity. There’s no longer any doubt: Most people do their best work in an environment that’s predominately positive.

It’s crucial to be able to discuss your team’s projects in an honest way, of course, and sometimes the news is bad. But the constructive approach is to focus criticism on the work product itself, rather than on the person. And when possible, the negative assessments should be framed within a generally positive dialogue.

The human brain tends to over focus on negative cues. This may be a result of evolution. Our ancestors, who were alert to threats like lurking animals, may have survived at a higher rate than their less aware peers, who died out. In today’s workplace, this tendency means that your colleagues probably over focus on negative feedback. On a day where half the boss’s comments are critical, they may go home feeling like they heard not a single kind word.

Some research suggests that workers are most effective in an environment where about 80 percent of the feedback is positive. This is something not understood by Josh*, a client who was general counsel of a federal agency. He came to coaching after a staff survey suggested that many lawyers working for him felt under appreciated. They were disengaged, their morale was low, and they had real concerns about his leadership style.

Josh’s initial reaction was defensive and disdainful. He said, “Grown-up lawyers shouldn’t expect to be thanked just for doing excellent work. They get paid, don’t they? And when I don’t comment, they should know everything is okay, because I always tell them when they screw up.”

We spoke about the human need to be acknowledged and appreciated. And I pointed to numerous studies demonstrating that people will be more productive in a positive work environment.

Eventually, Josh agreed to try an experiment. Every workday he put three coins in his pocket. Each time he thanked or complimented a team member he could remove one coin. And he couldn’t go home until all three were gone. After the first week, Josh said he was enjoying the experiment more than he had expected. But he still felt awkward saying “good job” and “thanks,” so he looked for more occasions to practice. He found times to offer compliments and say “thank you” at home, in the local cafe, and wherever he went on the weekend.

The more Josh practiced, the more comfortable he felt giving positive feedback. And he was having fun with it. “The amazing thing is not that it makes them happy, but that it makes me happy, too,” he said. Soon, he quit carrying the coins because he no longer needed them. Josh said he was addicted to his “thank you” habit, and it had changed the way he looked at several parts of his life.

Well-crafted words of thanks and praise can serve as powerful positive reinforcement, guiding members of your team to achieve, change, and grow. By regularly thanking or acknowledging people for their work, you can help to shape a more positive and collaborative office culture, even if you’re not the boss.

Build your “thank you” habit into a powerful leadership tool

There’s some art to giving feedback that motivates and empowers the recipient. It has to be real and focused. Practice these eight tips for giving feedback in a way that encourages people to do even better:

1) Be sincere. Disingenuous flattery doesn’t work. It sounds creepy and seldom fools people—at least not for long. Get in touch with your sense of gratitude when you express thanks, and speak honestly about how you feel.

2) Be specific. A vague, casual “thanks” isn’t nearly as effective as a more detailed comment. After saying “good work,” add more particulars such as, “I particularly appreciated the way you involved other team members.” Precise comments not only carry more impact, but also provide powerful reinforcement for the performance you want to encourage.

3) Fully engage. Part of the power of saying “thank you” comes from the fact that you care enough to focus on another person. Get full value from the thanks exchange by making eye contact and listening carefully to any response.

4) Notice what’s taken for granted. If we always perform at a stellar level, our colleagues may assume that our high standard is just normal and cease to notice it. Then it feels especially good if someone recognizes how hard we’ve worked to keep up the pace. When you express appreciation to a valuable team member, make it clear that you understand what goes into their good results.

5) Calibrate your “thank you.” Elaborate kudos in response to some little thing may seem fake and can be embarrassing. And too little gratitude for a huge effort can feel insulting. The tone and style of your tribute should be commensurate with the good work you’re calling out. A casual e-mail can be enough to make somebody feel appreciated for a routine task. But a face-to-face encounter is more appropriate if they pulled out all the stops.

6) Write. Don’t forget the power of a handwritten note. It still feels good when another person takes the time to sit down and write about what we’ve done.

7) Be surprising. Formalized praise, such as during an annual review, is important, but it’s not enough. With time, routine assessments feel ho-hum, no matter how positive they may be. To show you mean it, express your gratitude or admiration when it’s not expected.

8) Be quick. Offer your commendation as soon as possible after the activity that inspired it. Words of thanks and approval (like other feedback) have more impact right after we’ve done the work.

The “thank you” habit can be good for you

When you regularly look for opportunities to express appreciation, you are more likely to focus on and support the values and activities that matter most.

And research suggests that taking the time to feel grateful can actually reduce your anxiety. Saying kind words to others can feel very good, and sometimes hearing their response can feel even better.